Poll: Is an apology good enough?

[ShindoL Shill]

if you accidentally spill a drink on me or something like that, sure.
if you clean out my room and throw out all my spare shirts, i will never let you live it down.

 

[Dfskelleton]

I don't need apologies, I need results. Learn from your fuck ups, and fix it for the future. Apologies are just attempts to escape the consequences of fuck ups.

This. I prefer that people learn from his/her mistakes.

Wait, can you not do both? Even if you do learn from your mistakes, it's still polite to apologize, IMO.

 

[SidingWithTheEnemy]

"Oops, I just triggered the launch control for all of the intercontinental Nuclear missles. I'm sorry but I think I have to make an apology now"
There are things you can't apologies for. It depends solely on the victim whether an apology is effective or not. Of course there are those who apologize just because they have to, but insencertiy never counts.

 

[jumjalalabash]

Accept an apology if he chips in money for the repairs.

 

[GeneralFungi]

The majority of the time whenever I get an apology it's usually from someone who couldn't fix their mistake even if they have all intentions.
I don't know if your brother is in the same boat, but it's grating to think that people get away with things simply because they don't have the ability to fix it. I get apologies from people like that all of the time.

 

[ReservoirAngel]

It depends on the severity of what they do. The most common apology I hear is "sorry for the gay jokes" which I refuse to accept on the grounds that it's not worth apologising over.

Obviously with more severe things I fucking expect an apology. Like, for example, laughing in my face about the girls my boyfriend slept with before meeting me. I think I deserve an apology for that (still waiting for one though).

 

[LordFisheh]

It depends on what's behind the word. Someone could say sorry while really meaning it, or give a long flowery profession of regret without meaning it at all.

 

[Johann610]

If it's an EMOTIONAL wrong, the apology may be all you need. Like, "Sorry I called you a worthless, syphilitic pile of badger crap."
And if it's obvious the person is already dead inside (Like Sidonis in ME:2), then maybe that's ok.
But IF it is a matter of property damage, then it's not enough. No amount of apology will fix that arcade machine you just put your foot through, you rage-quitting, worthless, syphilitic pile of badger crap!

 

[Mersadeon]

It depends for me, too. In that situation? I wouldn't. He damaged your guitar, something you probably find very important. And depending on what kind of alarm clock it was...
So, unless he offered to at least partially pay and/or help, I wouldn't take the apology.

For other things, it really depends what it is. Was it done on purpose? If now, it might have been an accident. I almost always accept an apology if it was an accident (except if it is something really outrageous).
Was it done in a moment of weakness, where the person wasn't able to think straight, or did he/she know exactly how much it would hurt?

Well, in the end, I accept many apologies, but if I accept it, it doesn't mean it didn't happen.

 

[Viral_Lola]

I think it would depend on what the apology is for but in your instance, I wouldn't accept just an "I'm sorry," He broke your stuff and should offer to fix it and learn how to control his anger.

 

[Mikkaddo]

Today my brother was playing Kirby Mass Attack, and like most of the games he plays, he rages and screams whenever he loses. This time he kicked over my electric guitar and my clock radio, breaking both. Now I gotta wait a week or two for the shop to fix my guitar, and I gotta look for a new clock radio because now I don't have an alarm clock and I need one because I have to get up early on weekdays for school.

So Escapists, do you accept apologies? Personally in this situation I wouldn't unless he helps me, which he won't.

HELPS you? hell he should be paying for the repairs himself.

YOU BREAK IT YOU BUY IT, remember that old rule from stores? same idea here, he broke the Guitar, he pays for the repairs.

 

[Minjoltr]

If he says he's sorry, it only really matters if he is actually sorry and doesn't do it again.

Although the fact that you're asking at all suggests that you've not accepted his apology. If you had or if one would make things okay again, you wouldn't need to be asking us.

So an apology is clearly not good enough.

 

[teisjm]

Well sometimes, other times, peopel need to make up for what they've done, with more than just words.
If someone breaks my shit, words won't replace it, but handing me the cash to get it repaired/replaced will fix my problem, and depending on the circumstances, if it was an accident negate the need for an apology alltogether, they massed up, they paid the price, no hard feelings, accidents happen for all of us, and having the respect to not let others pay for your accidents is a good thing. Trying to blame it on the accident, as a way of avoiding to pay for it, leaving me with the bill, is a selfish and childish in a "i said sorry so i'm not repsonsible anymore" kind of way, that would really piss me off.
Even if it's not a big tv. I once gave a friend a wedgie, so hard that his underwear tore apart, and right after apollogizing, and asking if his ass was still in one piece, i handed him cash, so he could replace what i had broken.

If my brother had broken my stuff while rageing, i'd make him pay for repairs/replacement, and need an apology, since it wasn't an accident, and probably tell him to keep his hands the fuck off anything of mine, if he couldn't treat it with respect or controll his rage.
Luckily, he doesn't so i don't have that problem.

Also, accepting an apology won't neccecerily make things fogiven and forgotten, especially the later.
One of my classamtes pretty much screwed me and the rest of our group over on the second semester, which was all group work, by showing up only when he cared to, and working as he pleased, contributing very little, not due to lack of skill, but to lack of doing anything.
I don't care about it now, the semester is over, and in most circumstances, i'll not treat him differently because of it, but if it ever comes to group work again, i'll try to avoid getting in a group with him again, cause i don't wanna spend my school time acting as a kindergarden teacher for a class-mate who can't pull himself together.

Liekwise, if my brother had done as the OP's, i wouldn't stay mad at him forever, but untill he had learned to controll his rage, i would be cautionous about having my stuff around him when he was playign games.

 

[Rule Britannia]

To me an apology is nothing, when I apologize I rarely mean it. When I apologize for something and I mean it it won't be accepted anyway so... yeah.
My principal doesn't believe in apologies as a matter of fact she always says:
"Sorry does fix the problem, go fix it then tell me you have done so"
something along those lines anyway.

CAPTCHA: improved uirofin

 

[Wintermoot]

8/10 times they say it so they get left alone.

 

[Thyunda]

If there is nothing else that can be done, an apology is really all that counts. In the OP's example, the least the perpetrator can do is replace the alarm clock. They're not expensive at all, and it's not like asking him to fork over £150 for a new guitar. If you can pay money back that will help (not like compensation for emotional damage), then that takes priority. If, say, you accidentally ran over and killed somebody's pet dog, then an apology is really all you can give. And the promise of a favour, I guess.

 

[blaqknoise]

I accept them all the time, but only if the person really means it.

You could kill my whole family, and then apologize and I would accept it. You just have to show that you really mean it, wish you could go back in time and not do it, and be willing to pay a price to make up for it.

So yeah, a sincere apology is all I need. I'm a very forgiving person.

 

[MasTerHacK]

I'm really hungry so I voted for bacon.
OT
He should pay you back for the guitar and the clock radio. He needs to be taught that there are consequences in life for recklessness.

 

[DrStupid87]

Accidental double post. Sorry.