Poll: Is it ok for parents to spank their kids?

[Zulnam]

Spanking your kid every once in a while to make sure he doesn't grow up spoiled is good, but abuse is a completely different story. I grew up getting a few beatings, but they were never without reason. Hell, I remember sitting around with some of my friends in my late teens and bragging about the beatings we got. They were like war scars.

Let's make one thing straight, there is absolutely no "good" way to raise your child. No matter what you do, there will always be an issue where you acted wrong or where you didn't pay enough attention. That being said, I wonder, out of curiosity, how many of the people who said "no" actually have children.

 

[AmaterasuGrim]

EC do we go easy on the next generation or put them through what we went through, i for one wouldn't exactly hit mine if i have any simple for fact my father was quiet the nut case & beatings ended in blood, but personally i don't think everything can be talked out with a child i see so many brats who parents tell them no & they carry on & on those kids could use a smack..
Best case is usually just don't spoil them i see lots of kids who get their way just don't cave even give them a slight smack if they carry on to teach them it's not appropriate behavior.

 

[b3nn3tt]

No. To my mind, there should never be a situation where you'd need to. There are plenty of ways of disciplining children that don't require hitting them that will be just as effective.

EDIT: Hitting children only serves to teach them that hitting is an effective way to deal with someone who isn't doing what you want them to. I'd say it's much better to explain to them why what they did was wrong the first time they do it, and after that discipline them in a way which doesn't require hitting them.

No, some kids need it. And I'm tired of people saying spanking is hitting. It's not. And spanking is an open palm to the buttocks. Anywhere else and anything else isn't spanking. The butt has a lot of meat and that's why it's used to spank. It doesn't hurt, it stings. And it stings the parent as well.

Taking something from a child doesn't always get through, and by the time it does, then spanking probably won't work anymore.

My parents spanked me when I was young, until I got big enough that the spankings hurt my father more than it hurt me, which is when they started taking my tv privileges and gaming consoles away. Worked fine for me and I never thought I was being abused.

If anyone has come from a household where spanking has been used appropriately, they probably don't have a problem with it. Most people who have an issue with it were probably either beaten (not spanked) or never punished at all.

I couldn't disagree more; no child 'needs' to be spanked. And no, spanking is not the same as beating your kids, there are very few people who would argue that they are the same thing, but spanking is still hitting, and parents who spank their kids are still hitting them.

I've also never bought the argument 'I was spanked and I turned out ok' as a reason why spanking is acceptable. I wasn't spanked when I was a child, and I turned out fine. And of those two options, one involves hitting your children and one doesn't. I know which one I prefer.

 

[Shock and Awe]

Yeah, its a simple and effective method. I probably wont straight spank kids, probably just pop them on the head or something, instant retribution,

And by pop I mean a flick of the wrist, probably no more than that.

 

[darksomos]

Even in the Big Bang Theory, we are reminded that negative reinforcement is faster and more effective than positive reinforcement or otherwise. And yes, sometimes a bit of fear needs to be instilled, even if it is a baseless one. Respect, especially towards parents, is an equal balance of fear and admiration.

 

[DementedSheep]

Relatively light open handed smack yes. I saw a thing where are family didn?t want to ever yell at their kids or discipline them at all because they thought it was "wrong". Of course their kids were little shits. You're going to try and polity explain to a 3 year why they should not jump on the table or run across the road or play with matches? I don?t think it should necessarily be the first reaction and no closed fists or beating shit out of a kid but giving your kid the occasional smack is not going to traumatise them.

 

[Bobzer77]

I think people need to distinguish the difference between beating and physically abusing your child and giving them a spank.

 

[FamoFunk]

Would be interesting to see how many people could change their mind when they themselves, become parents.

 

[ekkaman]

Yes it is.

But only their own.

 

[anthony87]

Is it just me or do the comments left by the people who don't agree with spanking have an air of self-superiority about them?

 

[theevilgenius60]

Worked on me. I got whippings for all major things except cussing. For that, mom would "wash my mouth out with soap", and I'm grateful. If they had let me go on the way I naturally was I'd be in prison right now. Instead I just graduated cum laude and am getting ready for my post grad work. Seriously, they didn't have to do much, discipline wise, to me after about age four and I blame that on my innate fear of the switch and the taste of soap.

 

[Torrasque]

If used correctly, physical punishment is extremely effective, but most parents are terrible at it.
I believe a smart parent should be able to punish their kids without resorting to physical punishment.

i.e. No, its not alright for parents to spank their kids.

 

[Thespian]

No. Beating your kids, which is what spanking is, is wrong. It teaches them that
1 - The only reason not to wrong unto other people is because they will be punished.
2 - The only way you can (or the only way you will) communicate to them efficiently is through inflicting pain.

Parenting is about readying a child for when they are out in the world on their own. If the only incentive not to do wrong is because there will be physical pain after, then one day when there are no parents around to distribute punishment, the incentive will be gone and there will be no reason not to treat someone badly if it benefits you and you can get off from it scott free.

Words have ten times the power that a strike of the hand could have. Parents who don't understand that (or won't make the effort to go for the longer, more thorough option over the quick and easy solution) probably aren't going to be doing a great job anywho.

except its conditioning. Bad things = pain. In the minds of animals this works and always have that equation. Before you go "but we are not animals" we ARE animals. The only difference between us and animals is sentience. To say Humans are special is to say worms are a special species. The human brain can be conditioned just like a dog. words are cheap, and have almost no real value. By the time you're grown up you should also be intelligent enough to realize the value and meaning behind that punishment.

Sorry, don't go lecturing me about sentience, or spouting general knowledge like the fact that humans are animals.
Essentially the term is a misnomer, the correct terminology is "sapient" and sure you could go the whole cosmic route and say humans are nothing special, and you're right, in a very impractical and pedantic way. The fact is that having conscious thought actually, amazingly, does change things. Just a tad, in that human minds are just that iota more complex than non-sapient minds.
Now, firstly, yes of course the human brain can be conditioned, and yes of course pain is an excellent method of conditioning. It's called brainwashing though, and essentially on a smaller scale, you are controlling your child by associating yourself with fear. By definition, that's what you are saying.
Secondly, if you think words have no value, then I really can't see where you are coming from. Words are perhaps the most powerful and inexhaustible tool at our disposal. Language itself is pretty much that which defines humans as human. Throughout history, words have caused revolution, rebirth and uprising. The art of rhetoric should really never be underestimated. And especially since it is literally a parent's words that shapes the type of person that a child will be, acting like they make no difference is just ridiculous.
Now, obviously words should be used in conjunction with actions. Teaching by example and showing experiences your child can relate to as well as speaking clearly and honestly are all important.

 

[Jimbo1212]

Of course!
There is a difference between a spanking and a battering >.<

 

[Ninonybox_v1legacy]

A swift crack on the ass can do wonders.

 

[Veritasiness]

I'm not sure I support making it ILLEGAL to spank or slap your child (assuming you properly define the difference between discipline and abuse), but I think it's a stupid way to teach your kids. It inspires fear, not respect, and it does not produce sound or understanding individuals. My parents both were subject to, or had siblings subject to physical discipline in their homes, and they were so repulsed by the notion of it that they were always extremely careful not to lay a hand on me or my siblings - I think we're better off for it, because it allows us to genuinely respect and admire our parents, not just live in fear of being hurt.

I know someone who was spanked, who grew up not hating her parents. Clearly, it's possible to not inspire fear through this. You need to know your child, and you need to recognize how you're going about it.

Which is why I'm not comfortable saying it should be entirely banned - but at the same time, I still don't think it's the way I'd prefer to raise my children.

 

[008Zulu_v1legacy]

Its not fear or pain. But a reminder that actions have consequences, that uses pain and fear of pain to remind them not to do it again.