Poll: Is it wrong to befriend someone that is attracted to you?

[LordWalter]

Ah yes, the infamous hook...

If the relationship becomes a hook then the person who is not hooked should immediately call it off, leaving someone under the impression that ''someday something might happen, in the future that is'' is a very cruel thing to do...

But if the person have allready tried this then maybe friendship is just not an option... No reason to fool around with anyones feelings thats for sure...

No. Why? 'Cause I'm doing it right now. One girl in particular I actually am drawing into the RTS genre under the false pretense of it being a way to my heart.

In my defense, this is for her own good: not only is RTS awesome, but THOUSANDS of nerdy men will love her in the future because of this.

The ends justify the means right?

bahaha I've always been something of a soft consequentialist, so in this case, FUCK YES MAN.

 

[Moromillas]

This is actually my first thread created. I am proud of it. It has lots of philosophy, and a humble amount of replies. On the other hand, after hearing some horror stories I'm leaning towards to conclusion that the very gods themselves are, cruel, disgusting, little, bastards....

FYIs: They decided on brutal honesty, coupled with lies. Specifically, "My parents don't approve of it, and they're 'really mean'."

 

[Berethond]

No. Why? 'Cause I'm doing it right now. One girl in particular I actually am drawing into the RTS genre under the false pretense of it being a way to my heart.

In my defense, this is for her own good: not only is RTS awesome, but THOUSANDS of nerdy men will love her in the future because of this.

I did the exact same thing but with RPGs.

 

[Mandal0re]

Yes it is bad, the person with the attraction will find it very difficult to move on if the they are in regular contact with the person they are attracted to. The best thing to do is just have some time with no contact, let the feelings disapate.

 

[ProtoChimp]

Well I'm friends with quite a few girls I'm attracted to. Although I assume you mean attracted as in "relationship" rather than "quick fuck" (okay now I seem like a twat) but there is one girl who is just lovely. I mean wow she is just so nice and so beautiful, but I'm just that cute friend. Not even "looks cute" but "personality is cute" *bangs head against wall* she is also miles out of my league and has a very different group of friends, although she is in my drama class and while she does have some friends in there who are all really nice they are all "friend" nice (they're hot too but still they're friends) and it's her other friends who are cunts (exactly the opposite of her). I've kind of abandoned hope on her. And as you may have already guessed, she's gorgeous, funny, witty, smart, really fun to hang out with, she must have twatbags for boyfriends. So yeah, not gonna happen for me, especially seeing as in I am not the best looking person (fugly).

Oh sorry emo moment there.

Depends, I'm still friends with the aformentioned angel of a woman and it's not awkward (but that might be because she doesn't know I fancy her). *sigh* I'm gonna go do something angsty now.

 

[Blindswordmaster]

Define attraction.

 

[likalaruku]

Well, it is doucey & misleading. Is is okey to dangle a swiss cake roll over the bed a parapalegic diabetic chocoholic?

 

[Exosus]

By the way: The "friend zone" is absolute bullshit made up by internet dwellers who over-complicate things to cope with their romantic failures.

Women either like you or they don't. There isn't a magical "zone" where all women allocate you to if you're too nice to them (pfft)

Women also don't like it when you talk about "friend-zoning" or else they'll think you're a creep.

Being "just friends" with a girl isn't a bad thing either because they most likely have MANY more friends who are female. Hell, if she's nice enough, she'll probably try to hook you up with one of them...

This post is wrong on so many levels. Firstly, no one here (or anywhere) has implied that the friend zone is the result of excess kindness. That is not to say there aren't certain behaviors (notably the submissive obsequiousness so many people mislabel as kindess) which can disqualify you as a lover even as they endear you as a friend, but that is certainly not the only situation.

Secondly, I have never met a woman who objected to the term in question. I would say well over half of the women I've known for any period of time have used it themselves. I'm left to question if women don't simply find you creepy intuitively and are grasping for an explicable reason.

Thirdly, hooking up with someone who is a friend but wants more when you're feeling charitable (or more often intoxicated) is a really selfish and bitchy way of leading someone on. It is quite the opposite of being nice.

 

[Lieju]

It depends, on the person, the strength of their attraction and so on.

I broke off a budding friendship with someone because I fell in love with her, and as it was unrequited love, being near her was painful.
I couldn't be just friends.

 

[Ham_authority95]

By the way: The "friend zone" is absolute bullshit made up by internet dwellers who over-complicate things to cope with their romantic failures.

Women either like you or they don't. There isn't a magical "zone" where all women allocate you to if you're too nice to them (pfft)

Women also don't like it when you talk about "friend-zoning" or else they'll think you're a creep.

Being "just friends" with a girl isn't a bad thing either because they most likely have MANY more friends who are female. Hell, if she's nice enough, she'll probably try to hook you up with one of them...

Thirdly, hooking up with someone who is a friend but wants more when you're feeling charitable (or more often intoxicated) is a really selfish and bitchy way of leading someone on. It is quite the opposite of being nice.

When I said "Hook up", I meant "Push you to start dating", not "Get you two to have sex".

I probably needed to word that better...

 

[370999]

Depends. Are you being honest? If you imply they could get more then friends and you have no intention of that happening then it is wrong. People tend not to like being used.

If you make it clear to someone you dont't fancy them but still enjoy their company then there is nothing wrong with staying friends, particuarly if you were friends before. However don't immediately expect to switch from rejecting someone to BFFs.

In theory there is nothing wrong with it, however emotions beign illogical and the like it's impossible to give you a universal answer. I will say though that having a good friend is always a nice thing and if you know a person who's able to be rejected without any antipathy towards the rejecter and continue on being friends then great for them.