Poll: Is Not Dating a Certain Race Racist?

[krazykidd]

Nope . I'm black and have never dated/had sex with a black chick . Iv'e done white , asian , indian , but not black , because i don't find black chicks attractive in the slightest . However , by that logic , homosexuals are sexist , which is clearly false .As long as we are strictly talking about not wanting to date someone due to their race , it's not racist .

 

[not_you]

I took this topic to my group of friends over skype...
The resounding response: Technically yes, but I can't blame you for it...

If you say something like "I don't find Chinese people attractive" Then sure... that's personal preference and you're entitled to it...

However, an answer like "I don't date black people because they're all gold diggers" IS a racist response...

Note: I don't have either of these views, they are just examples...

So; my answer to OP is "Sometimes" depending on what reasoning you put behind your choices...

 

[Abomination]

It most certainly is racist... but it's also benign racism.

Just how straight people are sexist... but it's also benign sexism.

Just how homosexuals are sexist... but it's also benign sexism.

Nobody is entitled to your romantic affections for whatever reason. You can romantically pursue who you want for whatever reasons you want.

But I answered "No" on the poll because I get the feeling it's asking if there's something morally wrong about it or not, not if it lives up to the literal definition of racism (which it does).

 

[Abomination]

Technically speaking, yes, it's racist. But I don't see anything wrong with it, apart from the fact that you'll miss out on a lot of great girls. It doesn't make you a bad person in my book, cuz hey, everybody's allowed to have preferences.

You, sir, in all possible humbleness, are the most history-ignorant person on the board today. Racism is NOT making you a bad person? It was NOT racism that started the riots in capetown? It was NOT racism that made slaves out of men and women and after they were freed still had to suffer for decades from restricted education and people rights? And then there was germany.
So. Next time you little piece of manga addiction get to history lessons, HEAR what the teacher actually says. And ask him about holocaust and the root of evil that is racism.

I didn't know that the riots in capetown, slavery of Africans and the Nazi's obsession with eliminating Jews was caused by some dude not wanting to bang a chick of one of those races.

But hey, I guess I better go out and bang a chick of every ethnicity just to ensure I don't inadvertently start another racial catastrophe.

Should I bang some dudes too, while I'm at it? Just to make sure I don't cause a homosexual repression regime to spring up?

 

[Yopaz]

No, it's not racist on its own. It's perfectly possible to be against dating a certain race because you're racist though.

In general I'm not attracted to black girls. I don't think it would be fair to the girl I'm dating if I weren't attracted to her because that would make the relationship kinda uneven. Because of that I would in general not date a black girl. Not because I'm a racist, but because I'm a shallow asshole.

Sexual preference isn't racism. If you don't find something attractive, then it's just not for you.

Think about it this way, are you sexist against your own sex if you're straight? Are homosexuals sexist against women for rejecting them as potential partners? If you stretch out this logic to other things that can control sexual attraction, it's fairly easy to see why it's a silly notion.

Of course, you could be racist about it and explicitly reject them for a racist reason(as seen in the OP's anecdote, where the example person considers black people to be animals); but not being interested on its own isn't racism, and isn't indicative of any kind of bigotry, even if the reason is based on their race.

I didn't see this before I was done writing my post, but I really agree with this. It MIGHT be racist, but it doesn't have to be.

 

[NoeL]

It's racist if you refuse to date them because of their race, but not racist if you're simply not attracted to prominent physical features common to that race. I think that's where the confusion lies.

To give an example, I'm not particularly attracted to Australian aborigines - dark skin and big noses isn't my thing. That said, if there was an aboriginal girl I found attractive (and I've seen a couple) I wouldn't not date her because she's an aborigine.

"I don't date X." = racist.
"I'm not attracted to X's features." = not racist.

 

[ThreeName]

Only if you're not doing it based on prejudice or stereotypes rather than physical differences (i.e. tastes).

 

[Playful Pony]

Well uh... I wouldn't call myself sexist for not dating men, so I don't see why not dating someone of a particular race makes you racist. I happen to like women of all colors though =p.

 

[Thaluikhain]

It most certainly is racist... but it's also benign racism.

Just how straight people are sexist... but it's also benign sexism.

Just how homosexuals are sexist... but it's also benign sexism.

Nobody is entitled to your romantic affections for whatever reason. You can romantically pursue who you want for whatever reasons you want.

But I answered "No" on the poll because I get the feeling it's asking if there's something morally wrong about it or not, not if it lives up to the literal definition of racism (which it does).

Not saying I disagree with your point, but "benign" in the context of sexism/racism and the like has a different meaning, that you are oppressing them on the justification it's for their own good.

 

[Smiley Face]

No. It's not racist. Unless preference in the looks of your mate is somehow discriminatory now. Hasn't been for thousands of years at least.

Yes it IS. Choosing or not choosing SOLELY because of RACE is the very definition of RACISM.
It's just that maybe it doesn't matter that much. He can date whoever he wants. Primitive way to go about it, but hey, it's his private life.

I'm inclined to disagree with you there - race is not the primary motivating factor in the choice. If a person finds the certain physical characteristics typical of a certain ethnic group to be more or less appealing than those of another, I would argue that it isn't quite racism, because the race is incidental to his choice - he's making the choice based on physical characteristics. Yes, those characteristics are informed by race, but that's irrelevant - the decision isn't being made solely based on race, it's being made solely based on physical characteristics. Of course, an appropriate test case would be to imagine a hypothetical scenario in which there was a member of said ethnic group who didn't have any of the physical characteristics typical of said group - if the decision isn't altered by that fact, then it's actually racism hiding behind an excuse; if not, it really is just preference for certain physical characteristics.

Personally, there are some physical characteristics I find unappealing that are typical to certain groups, but they're not universal traits, so I don't have universal rules based on race that affect my attraction to someone, even if on average, I find certain ones to be more or less likely to be attractive to me. Frankly, I don't think about it too much - I've got a pretty diverse pool of friends, and none of them seem to care either.

 

[The_Echo]

No. It's not racist. Unless preference in the looks of your mate is somehow discriminatory now. Hasn't been for thousands of years at least.

Yes it IS. Choosing or not choosing SOLELY because of RACE is the very definition of RACISM.

I'm inclined to disagree.

See, I'm a man who quite frankly doesn't find dark skin to be attractive. I have nothing against any race that might have dark skin (or those who tan themselves to attain darker skin), it's just that I don't find them quite as attractive and therefore am less likely to feel inclined to date them.

And I don't think that's racist, though it means I probably wouldn't date people of certain races.

 

[Mobax]

To anyone who says they would not date someone from -blank- race. And that's all they say, just a blanket statement, yes that's racist. Basically to blanket an entire race and say I would never date anyone from that race, it's racist, or at best extremely ignorant.

Obviously physical attraction is an important part of dating, and everyone has a different concept of beauty. And race is a physical characteristic of people, so that can certainly play a role in who you find attractive. For myself, I generally find dark haired women more attractive, that doesn't mean I hate blondes, or would refuse to date a blonde. I've seen many attractive blonde women. Also, I generally don't find myself attracted to most Asian women, but again, I've seen more then a few attractive Asian women.

My point is, to make a blank generic statement shows a real lack of thought. A person may think they don't find black women attractive, but if they use that thought to blanket out all black women, that is a real shame. They might miss meeting a really special person, because they blinded themselves through ignorance, and that is what racism is isn't it? Blinded by ignorance?

 

[Mersadeon]

I'm saying no. You are free to have any preference - if someones preference is not dating blonds like in your example, then nobody bats an eye. Sure it's shallow, but one has every right to be shallow.

As long as you don't say you don't want to date them because there is something wrong with people from that "race".

 

[Kristian Fischer]

This is another example of a word that's gotten inflated out of all proportion because of the Internet and lack of education. Racism, hate, love...

Racism means being convinced of one race's inherent superiority over others. Doesn't necessarily have anything to do with dating.

 

[Rblade]

if the fact that she is of a certain race then yes. Which also includes "I don't date black women because they all "

but there is no arguing sexual attraction. I'm pretty sure that in general people tend to be more attracted to people that look more like them, thats just nature

 

[Thaluikhain]

See, I'm a man who quite frankly doesn't find dark skin to be attractive. I have nothing against any race that might have dark skin (or those who tan themselves to attain darker skin), it's just that I don't find them quite as attractive and therefore am less likely to feel inclined to date them.

And I don't think that's racist, though it means I probably wouldn't date people of certain races.

Yes and no. In theory there's nothing racist about that.

However, there is a long established cultural beauty standard that prizes fair skin, hair that is straight and blonde and so on. These are things associated with a certain ethnic group, and this isn't a coincidence. A white dominated society has defined beauty in terms of being white.

That is not to say that were that not the case, you wouldn't have some people feeling that way, but it certainly is an influence.

 

[Abomination]

It most certainly is racist... but it's also benign racism.

Just how straight people are sexist... but it's also benign sexism.

Just how homosexuals are sexist... but it's also benign sexism.

Nobody is entitled to your romantic affections for whatever reason. You can romantically pursue who you want for whatever reasons you want.

But I answered "No" on the poll because I get the feeling it's asking if there's something morally wrong about it or not, not if it lives up to the literal definition of racism (which it does).

Not saying I disagree with your point, but "benign" in the context of sexism/racism and the like has a different meaning, that you are oppressing them on the justification it's for their own good.

That sounds more like a case of the misappropriation of the word benign than a literal use of the word - which would mean something that's harmless, despite appearances.

And on the flip side I guess it also means what it implies - if not dating someone is "oppression" then it is for their own good if the other party doesn't find them attractive

 

[Nokturos]

It's racist in the same way that not wanting to date a man makes me a homophobe.