idon said:
I was exactly where you are last year. Very depressed, didn't know why, and that depression came out as lovesickness:I felt like I needed another person. But after a bit of introspection I realized a few things:
1.) I was genuinely depressed, not just love-starved. I realized after seeing a therapist (Thankfully I did not need antidepressants) that depression was the real problem. Once I dealt with that, I found that I didn't feel needy or lovesick anymore, I was finally able to enjoy being single, and yes it can be so, so enjoyable. It was never working out with the girls I liked because I was trying so hard for something I simply didn't really want.
2.) I shouldn't stress about it. Don't make it your overarching goal to get a girlfriend. You only get a few years in college: don't ruin it by worrying about dating, otherwise you're going to end up with someone you don't like just because you hate being single. Just forget about them, don't worry about being single (one day, you're going to miss the single life), just study, have fun, and enjoy yourself, and you'll have met someone awesome before you know it!
3.) I don't want to presume on your situation, but a part of it was my fault. Well, not as in I had done something bad, but just an error in my way of thinking. I was too passive, I guess. I just sort of expected that Ms. Perfect would just sort of (perhaps literally) fall into my lap and things would start working out on their own. When they didn't, and I saw all my friends getting into romantic relationships with no effort and feeling left behind, I figured it was something wrong with me, and that made me feel worse. You really have to make the effort to meet people. To that end...
4.) This is the advice my therapist gave me: join some clubs. Is it your entire school that's mostly men or just your program? If you're in engineering, I totally get that, it's not even worth the effort trying to meet women in. But there are more women than men in college. Look through your school's list of registered student organizations. Read through the entire thing, and pick 5 that look even remotely interesting, and just go to the next meeting. It doesn't even have to be something you're incredibly passionate about. Don't worry about not knowing anyone or not being familiar with what the club is up to: those will resolve themselves in time. Now, don't treat your club like a big dating pool, but just a way to meet some like-minded people. Just have fun with it.
Now, as for online dating itself...well I see nothing inherently wrong with it. But I'm not sure if you're going about it for the right reason: like I said, you shouldn't make a big deal of finding a girlfriend. Also, online dating ends up failing more often than not. Every now and again someone meets a great person, other times you get randomly paired with a bunch of people you don't like.
Just don't stress out about it, make some effort to meet people (as a fellow introvert, I understand it's not easy, but trust me it's worth it), take some time to understand yourself and resolve your issues with depression (this is the most important part) and I promise you that things will work out.
Damn, and here I was thinking it was my devilish good looks.
