Poll: Is there really such a thing as gaydar?

[Lieju]

I don't know.

How easy it is to tell if someone is expressing sexual interest in you in general?

Because several guys I just wanted to be friends with assumed it was sexual interest from my part.

I definitely can't tell. I know some gay guys who act very 'camp', but I know straight guys who are like that too, and many gay men who aren't.
I know several guys people just assume are gay because they are pretty.


Also obviously if you know someone long enough, or follow their lives, you can pick up hints on what they like. For example know someone who I think likes bearded men. I have never asked her if she has a preference, but most of her crushes had a beard, and I know she found Riker attractive only after season 1 of TNG.

But it doesn't mean I could tell from looking at random people if they like bearded men.

 

[Uriain]

your "gaydar" is highly dependant on the circumstances you grow up/involved in. I have many gay friends, so as a straight guy I notice certain mannerisms, tendencies, and behaviours. When I apply that knowledge when observing anyone else, its much easier to surmise that they are (or are not) gay.

Granted, this is not a 100% fool proof, some people are overly effeminate or masculine, regardless of their sexual preference.

 

[Robert Marrs]

To an extent yes. Its usually possible if you actually talk to and interact with a person. Just watching someone on tv though I don't think is enough. I can usually tell when someone is coming on to me even if its subtle. You can also watch who they look at. People's eyes will follow what they are interested in. Then you have stereotypes. You might hate them but they exist for a reason. Really "gaydar" is just intuition. There is nothing wrong with making assumptions based on observations so long as you are not using those assumptions to discriminate against someone.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Well, of course it's not entirely accurate, but kinda yeah. Did that pretty camp olympic diver turn out to be homosexual? yup. Did my tomboy supervisor turn out to be a lesbian? Yup. Did my effeminate, image conscious flatmate turn out to be gay? Yup.

I know it's not the most progressive of ideas, but stereotypes do exist for reasons. I'm not saying they're absolute, but I do think that there's something to it.

 

[ObsidianJones_v1legacy]

Also obviously if you know someone long enough, or follow their lives, you can pick up hints on what they like. For example know someone who I think likes bearded men. I have never asked her if she has a preference, but most of her crushes had a beard, and I know she found Riker attractive only after season 1 of TNG.

But it doesn't mean I could tell from looking at random people if they like bearded men.

While I get your point, I don't think it applies here. There are no hormones that fill our bodies that tell us that I should like big breasts, and some women should like only white guys. That falls into preference. That is more the social and personal tastes combined to one.

As I and a few scientists believe being gay is about a wiring of the brain, homosexuality is as much hormones as heterosexuality is. A homosexual male might have the same hormone configuration that leads them to be homosexual as another one, but one because of tastes and upbringing will prefer Bears and the other might like Twinks.

 

[cikame]

I've predicted several people in my life as being gay before they 'came out', not saying i could pin anyone as liking the same sex, but lets just say it's hard to call something a stereotype if it's often true.

 

[DementedSheep]

Unless that behavior is actually picking up or perving on people of the same sex (which they might not realize they are doing), no.

People just see stereotypes associated with gays and assumed the person is gay. Then you get confirmation bias or the fact that a trait is a bit more common with homosexuals but far from a rule and they think they're great at 'picking out gays'. I know someone who dose this, he is wrong a lot or it never gets confirmed one way or the other but he still insists he can tell because he has been right a couple of times.

Every famous person tends to have people speculating they are gay.

 

[Branovices]

As a gay man, I would say that often many gay people do give cues (consciously or unconsciously, obvious or less so) as to their sexuality. That said, people rarely, if ever, guess that I am. That might be because, having been in a stable and loving relationship for over a decade, I've stopped dropping cues? I'm not sure.

I do know that my American gaydar was useless in Europe, so it's cultural.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

Not all gay men have effeminate voices, but a lot of men with effeminate voices are gay. I don?t know why, but there you go. As an obligatory racial comparison: not all black men are basketball players, but a lot of basketball players are black men.

Sure, it?s a silly stereotype (and one that isn?t as strong in the East as it is in the West), but the majority of stereotypes in the world are at least partially based in truth. I mean, I know it?s prejudiced, but if David Walliams came out as gay or bisexual at some point, I wouldn?t be surprised. That?s not homophobia; that?s just recognising a trend.

My mum said that she?s worried the media will have a go at him or something for this, but I said that this is 2013, coming out (whether it be as gay or bisexual) isn?t as big a deal anymore (especially not for celebrities like Tom Daly) and the most the papers will do is post some rumour about Tom Daly dating Joey Essex or something.

Oh, and OP: it would be idealistic to try and persuade people to abolish labels and sexual identities, because humans, including the non-straight ones, just find it convenient to name things so they can refer to it in shorthand without having to describe its meaning all the time.

 

[Weaver]

I mean, I've met one person who did the whole lisp thing and were just super flamboyant all the time. They were also openly gay, but it didn't take more than about 10 seconds talking to them to figure it out. Also, he went by "Big Gay Kyle" so... yeah.

In a regular case I don't think you can really tell.

 

[Phrozenflame500]

It's possible to observe behaviour which is stereotyped as being gay, but that's another issue.

Spot on.

You can observe behaviour that may imply homosexuality, but you can't decisively determine somebody's sexuality by pure observation.

 

[Gamer87]

For some people their sexual orientation is their lifestyle it would seem. And with them you can tell if they're gay.

Being stereotypical gay is just another clique to belong to where people conform to the same taste in fashion and culture. I find it really annoying. I can understand wanting to belong to a group, but couldn't people just be themselves? After all, sexual orientation has got nothing to do with if you like ABBA or not. If someone has an interest in fashion that is disproportionate to the gender that person belongs to, that does not make him or her gay.

I just wish people in general could act less like society expect them to and more like what they actually want and who they actually are. If they did, then we wouldn't have any stereotypes in the first place and no gender roles that we force on ourselves and our kids in fear that we won't be accepted otherwise.

(I hope I don't offend anyone. I don't mean anyhting negative against gay people, I'm just annoyed with self-fulfilling stereotypes. If that is actually the person they truly are and not something they feel they must be to be cool within a group, I'm really okay with flamboyant super gays)

 

[Olas]

Kinda

Some gay people exhibit traits that fit the common stereotype and some don't. I wouldn't exactly call it 100% reliable, but it's there. I knew several people in my middle school who I thought "seemed gay", and most of them came out some time in highschool.

 

[Lieju]

Also obviously if you know someone long enough, or follow their lives, you can pick up hints on what they like. For example know someone who I think likes bearded men. I have never asked her if she has a preference, but most of her crushes had a beard, and I know she found Riker attractive only after season 1 of TNG.

But it doesn't mean I could tell from looking at random people if they like bearded men.

While I get your point, I don't think it applies here. There are no hormones that fill our bodies that tell us that I should like big breasts, and some women should like only white guys. That falls into preference. That is more the social and personal tastes combined to one.

As I and a few scientists believe being gay is about a wiring of the brain, homosexuality is as much hormones as heterosexuality is. A homosexual male might have the same hormone configuration that leads them to be homosexual as another one, but one because of tastes and upbringing will prefer Bears and the other might like Twinks.

Why are you assuming her preference of bearded men is not genetic?

There probably are many genetic and cultural factors that influence your sexual preferences, both what sex you like, and what kind of features and qualities (and fetishes) you're into.
For example there probably are people who would have been gay or straight no matter how they were raised, but some people could have genetics that might end up either way.

And even if something is completely genetic doesn't mean you can spot it from outward appearance.

 

[Hagi]

Don't think there is.

And I think every example mentioned here is simple confirmation bias.

The only instances we remember are when we thought that someone might be gay and it later turned out he/she was. Because that's a memorable event.

Thinking someone might be but never receiving confirmation is merely a random thought, like thousands of others we have each day. Not in the least memorable.

And if someone turns out to be but we didn't think they might be before hand human tendency is to start thinking exactly that afterwards anyway, that there were signals all along.

There's a rather good reason why anecdotal evidence and testimonies are treated with much distrust in any serious investigation.

 

[RandV80]

There is no such thing.

There are a few behavioural characteristics, but not every gay person will have them, and some straight people may have them, too. Down in part to the media, some people seem to believe those characteristics are universal, and that's where the idea of gaydar comes from. They will still pass numerous gay people who lack those characteristics in the street, and they'll never realise.

I find the idea faintly insulting, to be honest.

Who says it has to be 100% accurate to be a thing? Gay people make up a very small percent of the population. Now I'm going by in person observation here, not media gossip, but if someone can pick up that say a person is gay 80% of the time and not gay 98% of the time then that sounds like a thing to me.

The poll questions are kind of limiting though, in that I think it's a thing yet it's something I'm completely lacking. I tend to be oblivious to whether someone is gay or not, partly because like what you're saying I don't want to be presumptuous and it almost feels a little rude. Now she's not rude about it but my other half is the one who can definitely pick up on these things. Only time the topic comes up really is in those '2%' cases going by my guestimated numbers above.

 

[Nokturos]

I was in the city once, and this huge parade, consisting mostly of men with handlebar moustaches wearing assless chaps, rolled by out of nowhere. Turning to my friend, I said "That's a bit gay, isn't it?" and he responded "Well, yeah. It's the gay pride parade."

Now, I don't know how I was able to discern their sexualities, but clearly, they gave off some kind of subtle sign. So yes, there must be such a thing as gaydar.

 

[rasputin0009]

Making judgements on commonly perceived quirks? Yes, I believe that to be true. Some people are easy to judge quickly and some take more time. And I don't think it's wrong to assume someone's sexual preference. It's not like it's their whole identity or anything. I'm going to assume someone wearing a camo hat likes hunting the same way I'm going to assume men with pretty diamond earrings like having sex with other men.

 

[The White Hunter]

I think you often can tell, I'm pretty crap at reading other people and even I can make educated guesses a lot of the time. There are certain traits which seem to match up to being gay or lesbian a lot of the time, such as a woman being fairly 'butch' or man being effeminate, although of course straight people can have these traits too sometimes. Bisexuals seem harder to spot, funnily enough I'm bi myself but people don't seem to pick up on it, probably because I have a very masculine personality.

I now see you in a whole new light Captain.

OT: No, complete bullshit. The easiest way to find out is to ask.