Poll: Is treating women in Gentlemanly way Sexist?

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rbstewart7263

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Nov 2, 2010
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People are rather rigid with all the labels an shit arent they? If a woman holds a door open for you be fucking grateful. If a man opens a door for you be fucking grateful and don't worry about whether them opening the door for you is indicative of their mindset in regards to you an yours.
 

Dascylus

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May 22, 2010
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So this girl the other night was really really drunk. I genuinely offered to escort her home as a gentleman... On the way home she sobered up, gave me the ok and I banged her...

The lesson above illustrates context... If you have an ulterior motive then you are just being manipulative, if you don't then you are just being nice and the idea of gentlemenly-ness is not relevant.

So kids, don't be a gentleman, be nice.
 

the_dude_abides

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May 3, 2012
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The door situation isn't about being gentlemanly for me personally.

If someone was right behind me I'd hold the door open rather than let it slam in their face regardless of whether they are male or female. Basic manners to me.
 

Fbuh

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Feb 3, 2009
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I was born and raised into notions of chivalry, and I am by all means not a sexist person. After witnessing my mother pretty much raise her myself, working several jobs, and often going without dinner so that my brother and I could eat, I know for a face that there is nothing a woman can't do.

That having been said, I am chivalrous and polite, and I do not think it is sexist. Athough, I hold doors for everybody. It's called being polite.
 

Zack Alklazaris

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Oct 6, 2011
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Really depends on the woman. That goes for anything discriminatory. I am very good friends with a black male. He once told me that I can call him Ni**a. Well I couldn't say it even though he said I could, but its a good example of something that would be considered discrimination to most isn't in this case.

In the chivalry case some women might take offense to the fact that this guy thinks that she can't open a door on her own or may even get annoyed because your standing there holding the door open for her and shes still in the car trying to collect things into her purse. She feels rushed now because of your chivalry.

On the other hand most women do like to be treated like a princess. (if you don't believe me give you GF a tiara see what happens)

I personally prefer equal treatment. My wife holds the door open if she is first I hold it if I'm first. Who ever feels like cooking cooks, whoever has an idea says it, etc. Granted there are some things we are better built for. I squish spiders and carry heavy loads. She kills cockroaches and explains when I do something callus. (apparently she had a really nasty roach infestation once, destroyed most of her stuff. She now has a vendetta against them)

Like I said before though. All depends on the women. To be completely honest grouping them as a whole is more sexist than saying chivalry is.
 

Chemical Alia

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Feb 1, 2011
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Being well-mannered is a good thing, and as Eek the Cat once said, "it never hurts to help". I don't like feeling patronized, though I'm unlikely to call someone out on overtly chivalrous behavior unless they're genuinely offending me for some reason, and that's something that's never happened before.

Nobody in my day-to-day life treats me in a "gentlemanly" way, though if my boyfriend were to hold car doors open and chairs out for me, I'd ask him to stop. Personally, shit like that is embarrassing.
 

texanarob

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Dec 10, 2011
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tensorproduct said:
High school level maths and below, along with a smattering of common sense absolutely is useful in a whole bunch of situations. However, this is not always the case. Probability and statistics are fairly counter-intuitive, and if the more advanced and correct maths disagrees with the simpler stuff, then it's best to play it safe.

I'm more annoyed by how quickly the point went from "Well I used statistics to prove I'm right" to "Elementary school math supports my argument, why would I use anything else?". It's lazy, dishonest and anti-intellectual.
Fair enough. Don't know enough about probability, or this debate, to argue with you, so I'll take your word for it.
 

Dascylus

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May 22, 2010
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So, do you guys remember that episode of Battlestar Galactica (Yes I'm playing my daily geek card today)... So, that episode of BSG where they focused on the issues faced by Starbuck being not taken serious because she's a woman? No... What about Dualla feeling like she had to live up to something she wasn't because she was in a mans world? No, I don't remember it either.

Sexism is a construct, it's false and only exists in those who percieve a difference between the genders past bearing children and peeing standing up.

Do I hold the door for people behind me? Yes
Do I think that ladies should go first? Only when I'm flirting.
Are we splitting the cheque? Every time.
Shall I carry all the heavy boxes cos I'm a big tough man? No, cos you're not inherently weak because you're a woman.

Gender is not a determining factor...

Don't get me started on chivalry...

So, any ladies reading this give me your honest response to the following statement and let the guys here know what you think about polite bullshit...

"There are more male gamers because women don't like all the violence"

And for you guys, the quicker you truly recognise that women are not that different from men the healthier your relationships with the opposite gender will be.
 

jizzytissue

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Feb 16, 2012
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if you honestly believe that not being a douche towards women is sexist something is wrong just because every time u are nice to woman she ignores you doesn't mean that's true for those of us that don't live with our parents in their basement
 

texanarob

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Dec 10, 2011
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Right, lets settle this.

On any attribute, it is scientifically impossible that a control group of both genders will prove even. However, with some, it is likely that the difference will be significant. Others will not.

For example, if I were to take a sufficiently large, random control group of males and females, I would expect the average strength of the males to be significantly higher than that of females. This is not to say all men are stronger than all women, merely that a general trend is observed. This may be due to social pressures, genetics, or both.

A similar experiment concerning intelligence would be difficult to measure. I would venture to predict little difference in I.Q between groups. However, I would expect the E.Q of the females to be significantly higher.

A final experiment focused on a more obscure attribute, such as honesty, would likely prove both groups to be roughly even. One group may score 87.7345 and the other 87.7346, making one technically superior. This is insignificant, and not worth discussion.

To be clear, I have not run the experiments described above. Nobody has. The control groups required would be far too large to be practical.

The point is, while one group may be superior on average, statistics prove nothing about an individual. Insurance companies claim men to be inferior drivers when no data about the individual is known. However, a man with 10 years no claims will receive cheaper insurance than a woman with 173 claims in the same period.

To assume anything about a complete stranger based on gender is sexist.
To assume anything about someone you know based on gender is stupid.
Having said that, I will still only invite my male friends to paintballing.
 

Electrogecko

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Apr 15, 2010
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Mortai Gravesend said:
You're making this incredibly aggravating. Way to go not stooping into personal attacks for the fourth time in a row......oh wait.

Sorry about the mother of all incredibly late replies, but I had to take one more shot at this.

Basically, what I've been trying to say this whole time is that a person will treat every single other they meet in a different way depending on what is known about them. Like it or not, a person's sex is one of, if not the first thing you notice about someone when you look at them, and pretending that that bit of information doesn't change anything about the way you treat them is naive. There are no two people in this world that I treat the same way, and you can claim all you like that you're different, but nobody will believe you, and if they did, they wouldn't respect you for it; they'd think you were incredibly weird.....robotic....frighteningly detached from a wide range of brain functions, for better or for worse.

Sorry if this argument is too scientific for you, but humans tend to notice patterns on a day to day basis, and one of the patterns that everybody (except maybe you) picks up on are the subtle differences between men and women. Again, you can claim that you don't let these observations affect the way you treat people, but you're only kidding yourself and you're probably in the minority in thinking that doing so is sexist or even offensive in the slightest. I appreciate all the knowledge that I pick up throughout my days. I don't disregard any of it, or pretend that it's even possible to do so completely if I wanted to.
 

Phasmal

Sailor Jupiter Woman
Jun 10, 2011
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Dear god people let this topic die already!

Be nice to everyone, don't patronise people based on their gender and all will be well.
And stop talking about it on forums, it doesn't help and just goes round and round and round and you get the picture.
 

TheOneBearded

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Oct 31, 2011
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It is not sexist - just polite. It's not like you are going to slam a door in someone's face. You hold it for them or do the door push so they have time to get through without you stopping to hold the door.