Poll: Is young love a thing?

[SeeIn2D]

Just curious what people on this site think of younger people who say they are in love. I don't just mean the "Goodnight I love you" thing, I mean two people being legitimately in love at a young age. I'm bringing this up because I called my girlfriend today and we were talking and we basically were talking about whether or not we are actually in love, or if it was just our young age making us think we are. (I know weird conversation to be having) But basically what we concluded that two younger people in their teens can actually be in love, just it was rarer because at that age most teenagers are driven by hormones and a want for sex.
So escapists, what do you think?

 

[Hitokiri_Gensai]

I, personally, think being young and in love is usually not true love.

The brain is still developing, hormones are still raging, not just for sex, but for everything, and its all moving quickly. Your life is going to continully change and fluctuate, and things wont really settle down until youre into your 20's. You might end up in different colleges, on the otherside of the WORLD for all you know now.

Im not saying youre not different, but in my experience, love in high school rarely turns out to be true love.

 

[Berethond]

Definitely. I've known enough 19-year-olds who've gotten married to believe it.

 

[jumjalalabash]

It can be a thing, just not a very good thing.

 

[Dark Knifer]

Just curious what people on this site think of younger people who say they are in love. I don't just mean the "Goodnight I love you" thing, I mean two people being legitimately in love at a young age. I'm bringing this up because I called my girlfriend today and we were talking and we basically were talking about whether or not we are actually in love, or if it was just our young age making us think we are. (I know weird conversation to be having) But basically what we concluded that two younger people in their teens can actually be in love, just it was rarer because at that age most teenagers are driven by hormones and a want for sex.
So escapists, what do you think?

Incidentally, being 17, I'd say me and my girlfriend are to, as is my best friend funnily enough. People are usually doubtful and I can understand why, but the feelings are way too real for me to have doubts.

So I'll just say yes, in my experience and what I've witnessed in others.

 

[Kae]

I guess it can be a thing but not in the Romeo and Juliet love at first sight bullshit that is just fucking stupid.

 

[TriGGeR_HaPPy]

"Young Love" is, indeed, often just the hormones raging, and the want to be in a relationship so bad that you don't care who you're with, etc. etc.

But "Can young people actually be in love"? Hell yes they can. A lot of the time, young love is just the above, but that doesn't mean there aren't exceptions. E.g. one of my best female friends found her boyfriend when we were still in Year 10. Now they're 20 and ~22, still together, and are still one of the best couples I've ever seen.

 

[Kpt._Rob]

Hate to burst your bubble pal, but that's what EVERYONE who is experiencing young love thinks. They say to themselves, "yeah, I know that for most people 'young love' is the truth of the matter, and it won't last. But I just know it, I'm the exception." I've been there, my friends have been there, and chances are you are too.

Now don't get me wrong, it's not impossible for young love to work out, but there's something that's really hard to understand when you're at that age, something which becomes a lot easier to get once you're older, and it's this. You're not grown up yet. Who you are, all the way down to your core values and the very things that make you yourself... all of those things are subject to change. Not that they all will. But understand, most of us are radically different people even just one or two years out of high school, not to mention how much we change further down the road than that.

The problem then is this, how can you hope to love someone, when neither of you really understand who you, yourselves are, and neither of you understand the other either. Sure, as you get older, and start to come into yourself, it might be that lucky case where the people you'll grow up to be are compatible. Just keep in mind that statistically that's not how things end up working out the vast majority of the time.

So, in conclusion, I would say that there is no such thing as young love. Not because love when you're young can't work out, but because young people don't understand who they are yet (hell, there are a shit ton of older people who don't even understand who they are). And until you can understand and love yourself, it's very difficult to genuinely love someone else in a romantic sense.

 

[Last Hugh Alive]

It can, but usually doesn't. Teenagers are generally too young, inexperienced and not mentally developed enough to distinguish actual love from a simple crush.

It can exist, though. My parents married when my father was 19 and my mother was 20 and they are still together 20+ years later, so I'm willing to believe love is possible at such a young age.

 

[lobster1077]

Based upon my own experience I'd say no, I dated a girl for 2 years when I was 16 through 18. I realised one day that despite seeing each other very often we didn't know anything about each other, we just spouted out pointless conversational codshit and let the hormones do all the work. Then one faithful day my dopamine influx seemed to die down and I then comprehended that she wasn't the beautiful, insightful and wonderful person my hormones told me she was.

 

[Kpt._Rob]

Definitely. I've known enough 19-year-olds who've gotten married to believe it.

I have too, but just because some dried ink in a page in some municipal building says you're bonded, doesn't mean you're in love. There are a ridiculous amount of people who get married young these days. One begins to suspect at times that it might correlate in some way with the equally ridiculously high divorce rate.

Marriage can mean a lot of things, but statistically speaking, fifty percent of the time it doesn't mean ever-lasting love. I'd look for some different evidence if I, personally, were looking to validate the hypothesis that true love is real.

...But as I've probably made clear here, that's not what I'm looking to do.

 

[TheTim]

I've dated my girlfriend for 5 years and im seventeen. and we've only had 2 or 3 minor fights and not a single major one.


I can safely say that we are in love.

 

[CthulhuMessiah]

Yeah, I've known lots of people who started dating in their teens, got happily married, had kids, and continued to say married. Hell, if young love didn't exist, you would not be reading this post, because my grandparents started dating young (16), and are still married 50 years later.

 

[Mr Thin]

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-bits-advice-that-dont-make-sense-until-its-too-late/

First entry, friend.

No, I don't think they can. I think love takes years to properly develop, and 15-19 year olds generally haven't lived long enough for that to be a possibility.

I also find it humorous that you decided that your relationship was true love, whereas most teenagers were just in it for the sex. It reminds me of that XKCD comic.

Spoiler: This one:

 

[Pimppeter2]

I do believe it's mostly bullshit. But I think it can be true too.

The way to make it work (I think, and what I'm trying) is that you have to believe that you and your partner will change over time. And the acceptance of those changes is what makes it work. Also, sexual openness (to an extent) and the understanding that you and your partner WILL want other experiences (since we're young). You will have feeling for other people. You will fall in love many times thought your life, but the way you handle that is more important. Because any new feelings you have for a new partner are nothing like the deep seated roots of the ones you have for your old. And sometimes it takes time to remember that. But above that, I believe that keeping the love strong and not letting it stagnate is what is the most important. Reminding yourselves why you fell in love, and why that love is stronger than anything you can imagine. And a fundamental desire to work out instead of walk out on any problems.

Though we'll find out. I think we can make it. I think I was in a bit of puppy love with her when I first met her, but all the bullshit and reality our relationship has been through (and the countless hours thinking about it) is what's making this possible. Another key is holding off any kind of legal commitment and children until youre both financially ready. Not emotionally. Financially. I think it can be stronger too, many adults are beaten up and worn out by the other times they've been in love by the time they get married. It becomes less about love and more about just finding someone you can live with and make a decent life with.

1+ year steady and taken

 

[tomtom94]

Well, based on my experiences as a teenager myself (17), I'll say this: young love exists for some people. It's all very well to mock people's inexperience (there's a great xkcd about it) but it doesn't mean you should belittle people's feelings, because to them they are so very very real.
I'm currently trying to console a female friend of mine who is scared that she will fall apart if she and her boyfriend break up. Bear in mind this girl recently got a high number of A*s in her GCSEs. She's just dealing with feelings, which are an unconscious science, and if she doesn't do that now, she will regret it in the future. That's the lesson of young love.

Plus, if you know you can't stay together (most common in places where people go off to different universities) then what's the harm in a bit of fun beforehand?

I think young love doesn't have the best chance of surviving, but you need to experience those feelings to understand that there is no "one", but there are people who are better for you than others. Like the Cracked article said.

 

[Nelires]

As someone who get engaged at 19 after dating my now husband for a year before that, I can say with relative certainty that people in the age group in question are capable of experiencing true love. Now obviously I was on the tail end of this age group, but since humans are a pretty diverse species, it's not out of the question that a small percentage of people are emotionally mature enough by that age to experience actual love.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Absolutely, but to them it comes alot easier, it is not yet molded by years of disappointment, you experience all the same emotions just your standards are lower.

Or let me put it this way, remember when you were young and the only criteria for great food was sugar and wild colors?
It's just like that.