Poll: Is young love a thing?

[ZacktheWolf]

At that age, there may be something akin to love, like the first inklings of the feeling, but I have to agree with what the second poster said way up there - you're still developing. Your body AND mind are going through a lot of changes. What you feel now in all likelihood is NOT what you will feel years from now. I know looking back to even what I felt for someone I was with a few years ago... doesn't feel the same as it does now. I've grown from that. Like I did from the time before that... and none of it holds a candle to the feelings I had for my biggest crush in high school, and at that time I was so sure we were ment to be, it was love, etc.
I certainly don't think kids that age can feel the kind of love that fosters a healthy adult relationship, but then again, they're not adults.
Though I see a lot of people around -my- age (20s) who STILL don't seem to get themselves into healthy, mature, relationships... the whole thinking wholly with your heart instead of with your head as well... *sigh* I warn them, they ignore me, then a month later, they sob to me that their relationship fell apart, I sigh, and hand them my bag of I-told-you-sos.

Let me get out my crotchety old man cane and yell at the kids on my front lawn for a moment:
Kids seems to be wanting to jump into relationships younger and younger. It's kindda disturbing, really. I'm not saying wait until you're in your 30s to get married, but for the love of (your religious image of choice here), THINK about it before jumping into it. Think about it with your HEAD, not just your heart, and not just your junk.

Can anyone answer me this: why the rush? It's almost like it's the latest (long-staying) trend to be in a relationship. Why?

 

[The_Echo]

It definitely exists. A couple of my friends (aged 17 and 18) are in love, and not a single person has ever once questioned the legitimacy of that love.

I'm pretty sure they're last far longer than any of the other relationships I've seen around.

 

[Astoria]

Yeah I agree with you. Most of the time it's just the hormones but sometimes young people are genuinely in love. I believe that my boyfriend and me are truly in love and don't just think we are.

 

[CATS FTW]

I think, being sixteen and having been in a serious relationship, that young love is a "thing", but love is one of the most mercurial concepts in the english language, or any language for that matter, right next to the word good. It's all about perspective, I would say that there's many people that I love, as in a I care for them and would go through many a hardship for their benefit, although I don't necessarily want to get into their pants. In regards to sexy times, relationship love, I do also believe that teens can be in love, although the operative word is can, and there are many ridiculous hormone driven people out there claiming to be in love. Not just teens mind you. So I do belive in it, because yes, for the first few months of a relationship it's fun to let sex all sorts of shenanigans rule your relationship, but after the initail haze of a fantastic time passes and your hormone driven frenzy has faded but you're left with a deep passion for someone and as well as the desire to screw the hell out of them you can be happy just sitting next to them talking about some random bullshit or something that pisses you off or makes you happy, or just nothing at all and you can be next to them and just hold their hand and be a happy person, that's love, and anyone can feel it, just about anyone without some emotional issue.

In any case sorry to get all sappy, and to say it easily yes. It is most definitely possible and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, anyone can fall in love.

 

[Yopaz]

Young love is a bunch of hormones and chemicals giving various signals to affect your body and mind.

Adult love is a bunch of hormones and chemicals giving various signals to affect your body and mind.

Honestly I have a few difficulties seeing the difference here.

Of course young love is a thing. Love is a part of evolution that is there to make us reproduce. When do girls start to menstruate? Around 8-13. Technically that's the age where they're ready to reproduce thus find a partner thus be feeling love. However for some reason this reaction is delayed, probably because boys mature slower (a bit of a generalizing there) in most cases.

Said in short. Yes.

 

[thiosk]

young love burns hot.

but it also burns out.

 

[Fetzenfisch]

But basically what we concluded that two younger people in their teens can actually be in love, just it was rarer because at that age most teenagers are driven by hormones and a want for sex.
So escapists, what do you think?

I think i dont see a difference between the two, for you basically summed up what causes the thing we call love.

 

[Malrock]

The question is 'can' is exist, so absolutely!

 

[UnknownGunslinger]

Just curious what people on this site think of younger people who say they are in love. I don't just mean the "Goodnight I love you" thing, I mean two people being legitimately in love at a young age. I'm bringing this up because I called my girlfriend today and we were talking and we basically were talking about whether or not we are actually in love, or if it was just our young age making us think we are. (I know weird conversation to be having) But basically what we concluded that two younger people in their teens can actually be in love, just it was rarer because at that age most teenagers are driven by hormones and a want for sex.
So escapists, what do you think?

Click here: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-bits-advice-that-dont-make-sense-until-its-too-late/
Read number 5.
Come back to me

I'm not saying you're not in love, or you can't be in love because you're too young!
You and you alone know what you're actually feeling, and I've seen a lot of examples of high-school couples staying together for years, and genuinely being in love with each other.
But I've been in love at that age, and I know from experience it's mostly driven by the newness of things and them hormones

 

[Girl With One Eye]

I think they can, because some people end up marrying their "childhood sweetheart". But majority of relationships with people that age, end up in heartbreak. I think everyone has to go through a few really bad relationships to realise when they have the real thing.

 

[phantasmalWordsmith]

I'm 17 and I've found my love. Maybe it might go badly but I'm confidant it won't.

 

[PieceOfEden]

I would definitely say so yes. But love and infatuation are very much the same at that age

 

[SckizoBoy]

I've dated my girlfriend for 5 years and im seventeen. and we've only had 2 or 3 minor fights and not a single major one.


I can safely say that we are in love.

I'd agree... but wait until you have that first major argument and then come back. When you're still together (and not reluctantly) after that, that's when you really know you're in love.

Believe me, I've been there.

Young love is a bunch of hormones and chemicals giving various signals to affect your body and mind.

Adult love is a bunch of hormones and chemicals giving various signals to affect your body and mind.

True, but young love also involves the lack of comprehension of the effects of said hormones and chemicals. So adult love brings a certain cynicism with it... *shrug*

OT: I've always felt that being truly in love is nothing to do with how you are as a couple when things are going well and you're both happy. Instead, it's everything to do with when life has thrown so much shit at you that the bond that is between you is at or close to breaking point. Arguing, fighting, struggling to pull through together and stay together willingly and more than before separates those who really are in love and love each other from the rest. I thought I was, and a part of me still thinks I was, but... *shrug* (Yes, I am in denial, but piss off, the point still stands).

Normally, this would discount young couples because they don't get exposure to 'real' issues that would strain a relationship, so it's difficult to say most of the time because nothing tests that 'love'. So, based on the above, it's rare, but it does happen.

 

[Hipsy_Gypsy]

I have to be honest, I was surprised to see that 18/19 year olds got roped into this too. In saying that, I agree with the following:

Definitely. I've known enough 19-year-olds who've gotten married to believe it.

And I completely agree with:

"Young Love" is, indeed, often just the hormones raging, and the want to be in a relationship so bad that you don't care who you're with, etc. etc.

But "Can young people actually be in love"? Hell yes they can. A lot of the time, young love is just the above, but that doesn't mean there aren't exceptions. E.g. one of my best female friends found her boyfriend when we were still in Year 10. Now they're 20 and ~22, still together, and are still one of the best couples I've ever seen.

Growing up, I wouldn't really have "gone out" with guys much. My mum would often have asked me why I didn't bring any boys home to which I'd just say I didn't like anybody. She called me an ice queen. Actually, she still does. I'm beginning to think it's true, haha. Then again, uh, Northern Ireland doesn't have any particularly attractive people, be it aesthetically, personality, intelligence or whatever else. Yeesh.

I would say it depends on your definition of 'love'. Most people see love as an emotion, a passive feeling, if you will. I view love as an act. Something you get up every morning and do. Now I might be bias, but I met my wife at 15 and we have been married for 8 years and have 6 children. It certainly seems like something must be working.

Having said all that, I will say, a serious relationship for 95% of people in that age group. Bad idea.

Definitely. Especially because they're going to be a lot more sensitive emotionally. Even if it is just puppy love.


Anyroad, all that being said, plenty of people who are well beyond their 20s, 30s, 40s don't give a toss about love or relationships. Just a good buck. Though, perhaps nowhere near to the same degree as adolescents. Then again, there are always the odd exceptions, huh.


x

 

[David Armour]

That's not at all a weird conversation to have with your girlfriend. It would actually be a sign of maturity, being able to step back, analyze it, debate about it without the result being you two breaking up. But I think that there's a problem with your question. All you ask if it is possible. Now, if we're defining love (and there are many, many ways to define love) to be "be with one person, get married, and stay with that one person all your life" then we simply have to find a couple who has done that. Now, I haven't done the research but I think it's safe to assume yes, there has been at least one couple who have met when they were teenagers and stayed with each other for the rest of their lives. Now, if we were to look at it from a different perspective and ask "How many teenage relationships result in love," and I would have to say very minuscule. Even the ones that get married result in divorce. It's always better to wait to get married. Even as you get older, love is hard to come by. But, no, it's not impossible, no matter who or what their age is

 

[SckizoBoy]

Growing up, I wouldn't really have "gone out" with guys much. My mum would often have asked me why I didn't bring any boys home to which I'd just say I didn't like anybody. She called me an ice queen. Actually, she still does. I'm beginning to think it's true, haha. Then again, uh, Northern Ireland doesn't have any particularly attractive people, be it aesthetically, personality, intelligence or whatever else. Yeesh.

... I checked and didn't realise NI's population was that low (2 million-ish). Easy solution: emigration!

Having said all that, I will say, a serious relationship for 95% of people in that age group. Bad idea.

Definitely. Especially because they're going to be a lot more sensitive emotionally. Even if it is just puppy love.

Normally, I'd agree with that, were it not for the word 'serious'. At that age, they don't really know the meaning of the word 'serious' in that context, because they have no concept of life responsibilities. I thought I was in a serious relationship, at least much more so than everyone else around me, largely because of the way we conducted ourselves. But it was only when we got a flat and lived together when 'serious' finally had meaning. As I mentioned above, the success of relationships is not based upon keeping one another happy, but upon recovering when neither are happy. That's when it's 'serious'. But that's just my view upon it and I know few people agree. *shrug*

 

[Hipsy_Gypsy]

Growing up, I wouldn't really have "gone out" with guys much. My mum would often have asked me why I didn't bring any boys home to which I'd just say I didn't like anybody. She called me an ice queen. Actually, she still does. I'm beginning to think it's true, haha. Then again, uh, Northern Ireland doesn't have any particularly attractive people, be it aesthetically, personality, intelligence or whatever else. Yeesh.

... I checked and didn't realise NI's population was that low (2 million-ish). Easy solution: emigration!

Haha, yeah! I plan to! No wonder there are so little people here, mind you, with this whole casual attitude to bombs and all. Also there's a generally bad attitude towards each other. Honestly though, here they treat Catholocism and Luthereanism as gangs. It's ridiculous. Only a few people are sane enough to not actually give a toss.

Having said all that, I will say, a serious relationship for 95% of people in that age group. Bad idea.

Definitely. Especially because they're going to be a lot more sensitive emotionally. Even if it is just puppy love.

Normally, I'd agree with that, were it not for the word 'serious'. At that age, they don't really know the meaning of the word 'serious' in that context, because they have no concept of life responsibilities. I thought I was in a serious relationship, at least much more so than everyone else around me, largely because of the way we conducted ourselves. But it was only when we got a flat and lived together when 'serious' finally had meaning. As I mentioned above, the success of relationships is not based upon keeping one another happy, but upon recovering when neither are happy. That's when it's 'serious'. But that's just my view upon it and I know few people agree. *shrug*[/quote]

No, no - I see where you're coming from entirely. When you're young, the worst you have to worry about really is getting an essay done and good enough grades to get back into school to do your A Levels/get into Uni. But I definitely agree with you about the word serious actually becoming meaningful. Reltaionships aren't sunshine and butterflies all the time. In saying that, seeing some couples breaking up solely because they aren't happy (this could be phrased better) and blaming the relationship and ultimately breaking up doesn't particularly show that one or the other or both parties could actually handle a real relationship.

I hope that made sense? S:


x

 

[Aprilgold]

Young love exists, sometimes its hormones raging, other times its not.
But teens, as far as I'm concerned, mentally *the AWAKE bit in their minds* are actually in love with a quality of the person *one, any quality, but means they can be a huge douche* while underneath it in their animal nature, their fooling themselves.

 

[SckizoBoy]

No, no - I see where you're coming from entirely. When you're young, the worst you have to worry about really is getting an essay done and good enough grades to get back into school to do your A Levels/get into Uni. But I definitely agree with you about the word serios actually becoming meaningful. Reltaionships aren't sunshine and butterflies all the time. In saying that, seeing some couples breaking up solely because they aren't happy (this could be phrased better) and blaming the relationship and ultimately breaking up doesn't particularly show that one or the other or both parties could actually handle a real relationship.

I hope that made sense? S:

x

No, that made sense just fine (at least for me, anyway). And I keep having to think 'I'm not the exception to this... am I?' *sigh*

Still, what you mentioned can be applied quite broadly, though with increasing incidence regardless of age... and I think you made a point of it further back.

 

[SeeIn2D]

Just curious what people on this site think of younger people who say they are in love. I don't just mean the "Goodnight I love you" thing, I mean two people being legitimately in love at a young age. I'm bringing this up because I called my girlfriend today and we were talking and we basically were talking about whether or not we are actually in love, or if it was just our young age making us think we are. (I know weird conversation to be having) But basically what we concluded that two younger people in their teens can actually be in love, just it was rarer because at that age most teenagers are driven by hormones and a want for sex.
So escapists, what do you think?

Click here: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-bits-advice-that-dont-make-sense-until-its-too-late/
Read number 5.
Come back to me

I'm not saying you're not in love, or you can't be in love because you're too young!
You and you alone know what you're actually feeling, and I've seen a lot of examples of high-school couples staying together for years, and genuinely being in love with each other.
But I've been in love at that age, and I know from experience it's mostly driven by the newness of things and them hormones

I actually read this article the other day lol. That what got me thinking about it.