Poll: Is your partner also your best friend?

[Eamar]

Question: if your partner is also your best friend, who to you ***** about your partner to when you argue/you're in a bad mood/that one little thing they do that you used to find endearing has become the most infuriating thing in the world and it's all you can do not to murder them?

[small]Or maybe that's just me.[/small]

Seriously though, even when my relationships have been going great, I've always needed a bit of time away from my partner every now and then. That's when the beauty of having a partner and a separate best friend kicks in.

 

[Casual Shinji]

Thanks for putting my initial thought when reading the thread title into a vote option.

 

[New Troll]

My partner is my best friend, but they are not the person I'm referring to when I talk to other people about my best friend. Just makes it easier for other people if I refer to him as my best friend and her as my fiance.

 

[Loop Stricken]

Alas, I don't have a partner (you nitwit), but should Fate deign it so, having her be my best friend too would surely be the greatest thing.

 

[Jadak]

I would agree with the "don't put all your eggs in one basket" idea, but frankly, it's not a choice unless you're explicitly choosing to not talk to other people in favor of your spouse's lead position in the friendship charts.

Otherwise, it just happens. Any worthwhile relationship tends to involve a fair bit of time together and if you're not also friends, both of you will get sick of it and things will slowly break apart.

And if you are friends, then you get to where I am at. Between the time I spend with the girlfriend, school and work, minus the time I simply want to have to myself, I simply do not have the motivation to devote any significant amount of time or effort into social activities that would provide others with fair competition against my woman in the friendship games.

Don't get me wrong, I still technically have what I might call a 'best friend' other than the girlfriend. But realistically speaking, if either of us were to vanish it wouldn't actually cause and notable impact in the lives of the other, their simply isn't a consistent enough level of interactions these days.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Well yes and no, I always thought so at the time but analysing those relationships now I would say we were barely friends.
Seems to me as partners we are heavily inclined to play a fitting role to impress and once we don't feel like impressing any more the gloves come off, and beyond that point I don't remember my past partners being understanding or helpful or supportive or wanting to listen...

I'd say it's never a bad idea to have a best friend outside your romantic relationships, if anything goes wrong you always have someone that way.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

When I had a partner, I talked with her and knew so much about her that we pretty much came to each other with whatever was on our minds. That's a pretty high level of friendship outside of the romance.

I miss it...

 

[The Wykydtron]

Partner? Me? Hahaha ah, you're so funny OP. If I was in the field of romantic operations I would say it's probably a bad idea to have a partner and best friend rolled up into one. Sure your partner can also be *like* a best friend but I would wager most people have friends outside the spectrum of romantic partnerships.

Or maybe i'm way behind the times and this is the new hip thing with the kids nowadays.

No you got it right. See you would make for an awsome boytoy boyfriend!

Why thank you, are you offering?

I suppose I would likely be an above average boyfriend if I put my mind to it, I know for a fact I could never cheat on a girl and I hear that's sort of a big deal. I've decided to not bother with the effort involved with romantic relationships, it's really not worth it. Sorry girls!

Don't even get me started on the evils of physical intimacy either... *hiss hiss*

[sub][sub]I do WHAT?! With my... what? Ick.[/sub][/sub]

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Wait a moment, this poll is wrong, i cant choose both
"I don't have a partner you nitwit."
and
"I don't have a best friend you dunce"
I DEMAND, the creation of a fourth option
"I don´t have any, you dunderhead"

Duly noted and edited just for you (and everybody else who wants to pick that option).

 

[Fishcactus]

Yup, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

My boyfriend before my current partner was also my best friend, and we still talk even though we drifted apart. I certainly wasn't best friends with my first boyfriend though, we never really did anything but makeout.

Ideally i'd like to have multiple best friends, or even friends...but alas, I do not. So i'm doubly grateful I have my boyfriend.

/loneyinlove

 

[NihilSinLulz]

She is. It wasn't intended or anything, it sorta just worked out that way.

 

[Flutterguy]

I can't be around the same person long enough for that. I mean yes I have good friends who I can be around for a few months on a stretch, but eventually I'll need time away from them otherwise we'll start fighting over stupid shit. Outside of meeting some logically inclined goddess who is patient enough to correct my mistakes rather then argue about them.. well I just don't see this bestfriend/mate hybrid working out.

Basically I think it is too risky. Need something to fall back on ya dig.

 

[Jenvas1306]

if you partner isnt your best friend, what is he then?
do you have one person you go to when you need emotional comfort and for whom you are there in the same way and then have a different person for romantic things?
I dont know how that would work other than just having a platonic best friend and then a partner with whom you dont share as much but fuck and that stuff exclusively...

you sure can have friends besides your partner but how could someone be closer to you than your partner?

well for me and my bf its easy as we share a lot of interessts anyways, so he is my best friend aswell.

 

[sweetylnumb]

Wow. over 50% don't have a partner? I thought geeks being forever alone was just a ateriotype.
Goddamn white female gamer blindness. My eyes are now open.

 

[kortin]

You're fucking doing it wrong if your romantic partner isn't also a best friend.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

I noticed a lot of people answered "My partner/spouse is my best friend". Which is very cute but I don't know how wise that is. I have a very rudimentary (?) don't-put-all-you-eggs-on-the-same-basket philosophy in life, as far as romance and friendship go. And there's some discussion value in that, I think. Is your significant other "also" your best friend? Is your best friend "also" your significant other? What do you think of that?

The grounds for either relationship are very different and I don't know if they mix very well together.

Penny for your thoughts?

I'm sorry you had a bad experience, but it has worked out great for me.

I met a friend my Freshman year of College. We were just regular friends for my Freshman and Sophomore year. Then, my Junior year, we bonded over an anime and ended up becoming really close - best friends. We hung out as best friends - dating other people throughout - all the way through graduation Senior year.

The summer after we both graduated, we went (as friends) to an Anime con... and things kinda sparked. After the con, we decided to go out on a date to see how that went. We had a nice dinner, ended up making out in a park (my best friend got to second base with me before we realized that a group of hikers could see us), and then went back to my best friend's place where we had sex for several hours, put our clothes back on to hang out with some mutual friends, and then had several more hours of sex that night. It was the best sex either of us had ever had.

We talked thereafter about doing a Friend with Benefits thing, but after some thought and a few more dates we pretty much decided to officially call it romantic.

That was in 2001. We've been married since 2005 (we got married on the four year anniversary of our first date). We have a kid now.

There is no one in the world I have more fun hanging out with. There is no one in the world I have more fun gaming with. There is no one in the world I would rather have hot multi-hour multi-orgasm sex with. That whole "sex is boring after marriage" thing is a myth too, by the way. At least it is for us.

So yeah... not only can it work, but it can work great.

And I absolutely disagree that "grounds" for the two relationships is different. One of the reasons our marriage is so awesome is that we share a lot of interests and hobbies. Rather than having our fun activities separate us, they draw us closer together.

Which is why we run lots of solo D&D (read Pathfinder) games for one another - because play is one of the most important aspects of any good friendship or romance.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

This is my spin-off from the opposite sex best friend thread. I noticed a lot of people answered "My partner/spouse is my best friend". Which is very cute but I don't know how wise that is. I have a very rudimentary (?) don't-put-all-you-eggs-on-the-same-basket philosophy in life, as far as romance and friendship go. And there's some discussion value in that, I think. Is your significant other "also" your best friend? Is your best friend "also" your significant other? What do you think of that?

I don't have a significant other, but your logic implies that one can only have one best friend which I think is false.

 

[FalloutJack]

Knew her for years, long before our relationship actually started. Grew to care about her that much. Told her my feelings one night when it was important that I do so. Nailed it like good drama and found out later she'd been debating between me and another friend of mine for a while, but I made the stronger case. Also, no love lost between friendly rivals. My personal life is a good life.

 

[LetalisK]

How is your partner also being your best friend putting all your eggs in one basket? Are you only allowed to have one friend at a time or something?

And to answer the question, yes. I also wouldn't have it any other way. I can't imagine being married to someone who wasn't the primary person I wanted to be around. They are probably going to be the person you spend more time with than anyone else, so it probably makes things much easier if they are #1 on your list.