Poll: Is your virginity worth saving?

[Something Amyss]

most men don't refer to themselves as women or goddesses, or put "miss" in their usernames. don't comment on posts you don't read if you don't want to anger people.

We live in vastly different worlds, it seems. XD

 

[Zydrate]

Virginity is a myth. You lose "nothing" when you have sex for the first time. It's just some weird social barrier that I've never understood.

 

[bojackx]

i say yes, its worth saving because its literally the most personal thing you do with another person. why would you give away something so special away like that? im 24 years old and proudly still a virgin, anyone who says otherwise well, enjoy you're STD's if and when you eventually get them.

that's another thing thing, so many people sleep with random people and they dont even bloody know each other at all. i'd rather sleep with a person i know everything about and want to spend the rest of my life with. its safer, and if you do get the life breaking of an unwanted
child then you can afford to raise it properly unlike so many accident moms who create the burdens of society.

Also, i am not religious, so nothing has soiled my logical brain. except the soils of human life which tells my logical brain to wait for the right person to sleep with and spend my life with. so ....there...

You do realise people know about AND use condoms for random sexual encounters (usually)? Someone who has lots of partners won't inevitably contract herpes or something as long as they're careful.

Also, people who sleep around aren't automatically poor and unable to care for a child. And who's to say that you and your future spouse will be wealthy and have the money to raise a child? You seem to be stereotyping a whole bunch...

Finally, if you're saying that your brain isn't "soiled", then the logical thing to do (based on human instinct) would be to have lots of partners, and therefore pass on your genes to more offspring. Having one single partner for your whole life isn't exactly natural.

OT: I wouldn't say so, but then again I've still got mine.

 

[TecnoMonkey]

No, what would someone gain from "saving" their virginity, it's not like you win an achievement for it. I think the idea of virginity should not exist in the first place.

 

[Divine Miss Bee]

if you save yourself until marriage, the first time you sleep with the only person you'll be sleep with for the rest of your life, it will be disappointing for them. because you're a goddamn VIRGIN. virgins are not known for their sexual talents. and, i would find it way creepy if i was my spouse's first sexual experience because people tend to idealize the person they lost their virginity with and i would much prefer to be married to someone who does not idealize me at all. unless you see a real, flesh-and-blood woman with flaws and selfish tendencies when you look at me, you don't actually love ME, you love this goddess that doesn't actually exist and that's way to much pressure to bring into a marriage and expect me to lice with forever.

what i did, and what i believe is the best thing for anyone to do, is to ditch your virginity with a more sexually experienced friend who cares about you and is clean, because they're patient enough to go a few rounds so you get the basics, but there's an understanding going in that you're just having sex and it's not weird later. then you know what to expect, you have an idea of what you're doing, and if you then want to stop until marriage you at least won't be a sad little spectacle on the wedding night. but i find that as long as you practice safe sex there is absolutely no reason to deny yourself sex when you want it. that's just unhealthy.

that be your opinion there laddy
don't brush them off as unhealthy
accept their differences

isn't this a forum for sharing opinions? and by saying "what i believe is the best thing," i made it pretty clear that this was my opinion. so i don't understand the point to your post. i can probably find studies backed by science that would add some facts to my side, but nobody asked for science, the OP asked for opinions. and i notice that you didn't really share yours, you just observed that i shared mine. care to expand on your post?

didnt mean to offend, yours was just kinda broad,
and lacked some words that signified opinion

thats about it sorry if i angered you man

if you'd angered me i wouldn't have responded. though if you keep calling me a man i might get a bit miffed. most men don't refer to themselves as women or goddesses, or put "miss" in their usernames. don't comment on posts you don't read if you don't want to anger people.

i did read it
fine then i shall use the term
dude

i much prefer "goddess divine" but i'll take what i can get.

 

[Divine Miss Bee]

most men don't refer to themselves as women or goddesses, or put "miss" in their usernames. don't comment on posts you don't read if you don't want to anger people.

We live in vastly different worlds, it seems. XD

come on over to mine, things make much more sense here.

 

[airrazor7]

I've always seen it as a boulder I'm carrying on my back. I'd rather be rid of it and not have to suffer under society's judgment than treasure it for that special someone, who'll probably think I'm a weirdo anyway for not having lost it yet.

Surprisingly enough, there are still those who will think you're a weirdo for not saving it. Not telling anyone that they should, btw. Of course the only people who will that are the hardcore church goers. I say church goers and not Christians because I believe the people who take the bible too seriously are actually doing their chosen faith a disservice and misrepresenting it. Anywho, I remember a minister telling a story about being married to his wife. For whatever reason, he waited until after they had been married to tell her that he wasn't virgin like she was. He didn't lie about it, just never mentioned. However, his wife was severely pissed at him. She treated him like he had cheated on or betrayed her; gave him the whole dog house treatment. It took her weeks to get over it and forgive him.

To be honest, I thought she overreacted and was being way too ridiculous but that's a zealous church goer for you.

On topic: To each their own. Some like the thought of their future partner saving themselves for marriage and others don't care or would rather have someone "experienced." I do think that having sex is sacred and should be done with someone whom you deeply love. So yeah, it's worth saving.

 

[FootloosePhoenix]

I think the first time you have sex is definitely worth saving...for someone you love. Along with all the other times you fornicate afterwards. Some people never have a desire to get married, ya know, and not because they don't love a person. While I'm not an individual with that viewpoint, I can understand it. What with divorce rates, you can't exactly say that marriage as a whole is this sacred entity, and it never really was taking into account arranged marriages, gunshot weddings, abusive relationships that people were stuck in due to laws of the past, ect. But that's a whole 'nother topic.

However, I also believe that sex should be valued more, as an act of love and not just the (usually) ultimate form of getting you off. It's not something you should treat as an arbitrary physical function, but if you decide to fuck someone you're particularly fond of and don't end up staying with them for the rest of your life, that's nothing to feel bad about. Basically I'm just not in favour of one-night stands and the like. But do want you want--just because I have these ideals and would feel filthy for having sex with someone I didn't deeply care for doesn't mean you can't have your rights.

Also, regardless of your stance on the matter, placing different values on male and female virginity is just an out-dated bunch of bullshit, not to mention plain old unfair. You can't have a sexually experienced man without sexually experienced woman being "created," for lack of a better term, as a result, and vice versa. The fact that these views are still around in the 21st century is disheartening, to say the least. Jesus, I hate it when guys aren't considered "men" because they haven't had their first lady yet and women are called sluts if they're unmarried and not a virgin. It's fucking archaic.

 

[kenu12345]

Personally yeah i think it is. I've always imagined losing mine to someone i absolutely love and there is no bigger proof of love for me other than marriage

 

[frizzlebyte]

Of course not. There's something dehumanising about placing too great a value on virginity. It's like you don't care about them as a person because now they are used goods, whereas you wanted a partner who was brand new.

I don't really care about my girlfriend's/future wife's virginity status. If you value that as some kind of fetish, then yeah, you're a little weird.

As for me, I probably will wait til I'm married, simply because my religious upbringing (and continued, less strict, religious beliefs) have simply conditioned me to be uncomfortable with sex outside of marriage. However, I wouldn't beat myself up if something happened and I didn't wait.

 

[BleedingPride]

well to me it's more simple. would you rather have sex, or not have sex? if the answer is "have sex" then no, its not worth saving. if the answer is "not have sex" then stop trolling my comments! jk. if you want to hold off on losing it until you love a girl, or until you're just ready to lose it, whatever just go at your own pace.

 

[144_v1legacy]

Male; so no.

why does being male make you not saving your virginity not worth it?

And I would elaborate your post lest the moderators get on you for posting something that lacks substance.

The acceptances of society at large in a great number of global communities should spell out quite clearly why gender has an impact on the importance of saving or losing one's virginity, and whether or not that that's a good or bad thing. Pretending you don't recognized that these social implications don't exist is naive at best, and unnecessarily troll-like and obnoxious at worst. He isn't saying that it is fair and/or correct, but it's clear that gender has an impact on what society thinks of one's response to this poll.

If the moderators get on his case, it's because they were eager to get offended at a statement nobody made. I'm hopeful they won't.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

Sex is sex. It's very fun. As it worked out, the first time I had sex was with somebody I loved quite a bit and who I am still with. That's not to say I hadn't tried just getting sex from random hot sluts. Also, we were pretty blazed when we first had sex. We didn't decide to have sex while high. Just happened that way.

Anyway, the point is, sex isn't necessarily special. Sex can be special if it's with someone you love, but if me and my girlfriend broke up I'd be heading out to parties and getting sex there now that I'm at the college I'm at.

 

[darlarosa]

It's a personal choice and it's all based on perspective.
No one here views sex the same way or feels the exact same way about it.

I have done things...but am still a virgin and want to give myself to the man I love because I think of it as an intimate act that I want to share with someone I love, and care about. Marriage itself is not important, what is important is emotional commitment.

Sexual acts are always fun, but there's a magic when it's with someone you care about even if it goes horribly it can still be kind of fun at least when you look back on it.

To each their own

 

[dagens24]

I don't think saving yourself for your marriage partner is a) practical or realistic b) a good idea. Now I have no idea how old you are but it's very easy to say you'll wait when you're young, but it's A LOT HARDER than you think it'll be. Plus even if you do manage to wait, what if you're not sexually compatible. It's hard to have a healthy relationship when the sex is bad, and without sexual experience with that partner it's impossible to tell if you'll be a good match sexually. That's a pretty big risk to take, make a life long commitment to somebody without knowing if you'll click in bed.

The whole idea of saving yourself seems incredibly naive.

 

[Zakarath]

Well, I'm waiting until I find someone I have an emotional connection with, mostly because finding casual sex somewhere just feels like the cheap way of going about it and kinda devalues the whole intimacy thing, but I'm definitely not looking to wait until marriage or whatever. Screw that.

(Plus, I don't follow your God and think that whole 'as God intended' thing is complete nonsense. You going to let some strange entity whose very existence is doubtful dictate how you live your life? Make your own choices.)

 

[kenu12345]

I don't think saving yourself for your marriage partner is a) practical or realistic b) a good idea. Now I have no idea how old you are but it's very easy to say you'll wait when you're young, but it's A LOT HARDER than you think it'll be. Plus even if you do manage to wait, what if you're not sexually compatible. It's hard to have a healthy relationship when the sex is bad, and without sexual experience with that partner it's impossible to tell if you'll be a good match sexually. That's a pretty big risk to take, make a life long commitment to somebody without knowing if you'll click in bed.

The whole idea of saving yourself seems incredibly naive.

Personally I think if you love someone it wouldnt matter how they are in bed. Call me naive or whatever but I dont care how they uh preform in bed as long as i love them thats not going to change cause of sex. Please forgive my bad grammar and stuff im freaking tired lol

 

[BangSmashBoom]

Okay? Clearly most of you are all as you people call it "Atheists", but to tell you guys the truth I'm proud of being a virgin, I've got a good reputation at church, I have lots of supportive friends there, I've been doing jr youth group for a while now and I'm going to be promoted to teen doing youth group next year, I have a bright future ahead of me and I personally feel that I don't need any form of sex in my life right now, and if I am to do so it'd have quality over quantity only with my wife.

"But m8, what about the sexual compatablity?" 'bout that well resently I've been going wife hunting and honestly it felt like a burden, so I put it in God's hands and I feel that we made an agreement that, when I'm ready for a woman that my wife will have everything I need in a woman, and yes that includes me not having to ruin the surprise to know if she's my type or not, why and how?

Because I have FAITH in my God, that if I follow the path that he has set out for me, that he will give me all that I'll need, IT'S ALL JUST SIMPLE FAITH, it's MY leap of faith that I'M taking because I trust in my loving God, okay?

To some of you guys faith is just another lucky dip, even if it is, I'd have plenty of time to learn from my mistakes which is what life is all about.

I'm not posting to judge or to shame, all I'm trying to say is that I'm taking a leap of faith that I believe that will pay off at the end.

 

[Athinira]

What's with all the weird ass characters in your post? Like... I just don't understand.

I also voted yes in the poll but for reasons that are the opposite of yours.

Okay, feel free to share, why do you feel that your virginity is worth saving?

I guess it's because I had a Bible crammed down my throat as a child, but more so do to the fact that (I think) it's something you should do with someone you care about. Religion (shouldn't) play apart in it. It's more of a... (I hate this word) emotional thing, like you should love someone. Does that mean you should get married first or anything like that? Well no, but your first time should atleast be done with someone you care about. After that it's whatever floats your boat.

Problem is that sex is supposed to be an enjoyable experience, and if you are a complete amateur in bed, then the "special one" you've been saving it for is likely going to end up somewhat disappointed.

Sex is no different than any other discipline, in that practice makes perfect. IMO, you'll be doing both yourself and your partner a bigger favor by being able to have a really enjoyable act rather than telling them that they're your first.

I'm not saying you should screw anything with a pulse. But sexual experience is a huge boon.