As a wise man once said, 'It may be less about the boat and more about the motion of the ocean, but it still takes forever to get to England in a row boat.'Programmed_For_Damage said:
Poll: It's time Escapists. For the OTHER most important vote. (Definitely NSFW)
- Thread starter DefunctTheory
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Well, being a straight white male (and literally the worst person on the planet as a result) I can safely say that I don't care. I am not concerned with the size of another man's tool.
That being said, I'll vote for ICBM missile caliber. Where is that among the options?
That being said, I'll vote for ICBM missile caliber. Where is that among the options?
You probably don't want to know where my knife goes.AccursedTheory said:
So you're going to cure cancer in bed?
I find a defibrilator is necessary.
Just remember. Fezzes aren't cool.
Well, nobody's stopping you from playing by the same rules....
Depends. Maybe the guy just walks around with tank munitions in his pockets?
Huhuhuhuhuh...feelings.
Oh, but I do.Something Amyss said:You probably don't want to know where my knife goes.
I don't know if I'm going to, but I'm going to try my damn hardest.
Something tells me you use that for more then heart rhythm.
If only it was that simple.
I'd like to see that. Those are some impressive pockets.
Well actually, what's most important is (length * diameter + width / girth) / (angle of the tip)^2AccursedTheory said:
I mean, there was a quiz on how much people know about tanks on this site... [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/quizzes/view/882-Tank-Blitzkrieg-Quiz]
Because I want something more manageable to practice on before working my way up.Something Amyss said:
Well, you are a zombie...I imagine you don't heal very well.Zombie_Fish said:
Well...remember that thing about penises being optional?AccursedTheory said:
Alright, then, go baseball!
Can I plead the fifth on potential human rights, ethics, and war crime violations?
Either way, I categorically deny that my sex life is a front for experimental psychological procedures.
People keep telling me it's a lifestyle choice.
<.<
Besides, what fun is playing by the rules?
Good point. I mean, I've worn cargo pants with some rather large pockets, but I don't think I could smuggle tank rounds.
Please, Boston was like a second home to me. If we're going the music route, it has to be:
Don't matter the size, let alone who's packing it, as long as I can make it cum white like snow! And that includes metaphorically!!
*blink* Other than that... uh... YAY PENIS! *sighs* My best friend was right... I would do anything even without a Klondike bar...
*blink* Other than that... uh... YAY PENIS! *sighs* My best friend was right... I would do anything even without a Klondike bar...
Aye, plus fishes don't often have particularly large orifices.Something Amyss said:Well, you are a zombie...I imagine you don't heal very well.Zombie_Fish said:
What an oddly suspicious thing to say in a penis thread.Zombie_Fish said:
Which just begs the question - If you'll do 'anything' not for one, what would you do for one?FPLOON said:
Only too well.Something Amyss said:
Who's sex life isn't?
I believe the great Civil War General Ulysses S. Grant once said 'If men make love in slavish obedience to rules, they will fail to have spectacular sex.'
Or something like that. Close enough to his meaning, I'm sure.
You win this time.
HEAR HEAR!FPLOON said:
What? I'm simply explaining the significance of my username as to my poll choice in this thread.AccursedTheory said:
Of course, "anything" outside of piss and blood... It's never the destination, butt the journey to cum to said destination...AccursedTheory said:
Who cares if they're a mouthful, they're still FUCKING DELICIOUS! WOO!!Zombie_Fish said:
I love mine because apparently I'm slightly larger than average but I never use the thing. Gotta love it if only for the value of irony. When it comes to trouser-meat in general though I really don't care for those things in general.
I've got a response to this, but while it might sound alright if you don't get the joke it is actually really NSFW, so I'm not gonna say it here.FPLOON said:
Them being a mouthful is even better! They're the all-natural everlasting gobstopper!
I thought the other most important discussion was going to feature more Asses! Stop letting me down, Escapist!
In any case, I thought the most important thing about the dick was girth. Only the guy really cares how long it is (and lets face it; no man is going to be long enough that it's going to matter unless something illegal is going on). It's the thickness that the receiver actually feels, and if you don't care about how they feel, then you may as well just masturbate.
In any case, I thought the most important thing about the dick was girth. Only the guy really cares how long it is (and lets face it; no man is going to be long enough that it's going to matter unless something illegal is going on). It's the thickness that the receiver actually feels, and if you don't care about how they feel, then you may as well just masturbate.
All the choices at once in one hole.
On a serious note, apparently girth is most important and considering my boyfriend is average in length but nearly twice as bigger than average in girth I can confirm this science with personal data and statistics.
On a serious note, apparently girth is most important and considering my boyfriend is average in length but nearly twice as bigger than average in girth I can confirm this science with personal data and statistics.
Well, your method of reproduction is different. Less fun, I imagine, but smarter and safer.Zombie_Fish said:
Well, my blade's nickname is "the convertible."AccursedTheory said:
Mine. Because I specifically and categorically denied it. And I couldn't say that if it wasn't true...right?
How typical of Grant to leave women out!
In fairness, he did say that before the Geneva Conventions. I'm pretty sure his approach to war and sex would have changed.
Then all is right in the world.