Poll: Life goes on....but is it really the right time?

[Agoreophobe]

my father killed himself when i was 13....and i guess what you need to know is...its going to hurt...it will take a while to want to do anything about it...you have to relax...and adjust to a new view you will have on life.....and don't worry about it...don't sort her things...rummage...learn about your mom...experience old memories...remember her...and then go through the things....and ask yourself what she wanted people to do with her things....if this should go to you or her sister...or if this should go to charity...im sure your mother loved you...and im sure she would be fine with what ever you choose to do...I know my dad loved me...he just didn't want to be here....O this is one of those moments in life where you can learn who you are...so keep note

and everything is going to be fine....i promise

 

[S.R.S.]

Sorry mate. Cheer up.
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4IsZoWGMPA

 

[Cowabungaa]

I'm very sorry for your loss, I wished I could help, but I don't think I can. Still, my heartfelt condolences.

I don't have much to offer, sadly. Death strangely does not affect me much, I have lost grandparents, great-grandparents, a well-loved high school teacher, a pet (sounds trivial, but it's not, that cat was my best friend for years) and a friend, but for some odd reason it barely affects me. I feel barely anything, unable to cry even if I would want to, I don't know why.

In any case, you don't have to clean up her room if you think it's too soon, you have to process this at your own pace. You don't need to 'stop being a wuss' as one of your poll options says, it's perfectly fine and understandable if you would like her room to stay like it is for a while. Maybe cleaning it up helps you move on, but if you don't feel like it, I don't think you should force yourself. It's your grief, everyone has his or her own way of dealing with it.

 

[Latinidiot]

it's hard, but time heals most wounds. don't run away from it, but face it, not all at once, but in bitesize chunks.
my condoleances

 

[havass]

Eh, my mother died a little over a year ago. I was over it the very next day.
About the only thing I took from it is that CPR is generally a fucking waste of time. They never warn you about a residual heartbeat the wankers.

Anyway, just get rid of the crap, keep the few things that mean something and move on. Death comes for us all so its not like its a big surprise.
Oh and go drinking! 3 day funeral pissups are awesome. (Its tradition here.)

You heartless bastard.

Is what I should be supposed to say but I agree with you.


OT: No point wallowing in self pity, my friend. Sure, do it for a few weeks but GET OVER IT. There're better things to do then feel sad for yourself.

Move on. I'm sure that's what your mom would have wanted.

 

[ThePocketWeasel]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I admire your coping okay-ish so soon I don't think I could get myself together so quick.
I've not been through anything remotely similar to you but I guess take it at your own pace, I'm sure she'll know you aren't trying to erase her from your life.
Keep getting your grades at college (I'm sure she's proud of your A) and do well in whatever you do in life, make her proud.

 

[aPod]

Well... sadly, we'll all pass on at some point and most of us with alot of question marks around our lives. Be it relationships or what have you. You shouldnt feel bad about joking about your mom, I cant imagine she'd want you to eat yourself up over something like that.

Grief is ok. Understand you need to move on, and im guessing this is apart of your moving on (the thread)... keep anything that has sentimental value, whatever you would want to pass down to your children. Try not to get sad about that. Wether or not there is an afterlife, and wether or not she is able to watch you just keep in mind she loved you no matter what and you'll always feel the same.

The pain goes away. And nobody ever really moves on... they just keep going.

 

[Sonicron]

Aside from the circumstances leading up to my mother's death I was in your exact same position 5 years ago, and it sucks. Bad. You have my heartfelt sympathies, you really do.

For what it's worth, from experience I can say that the best and most important thing right now is to surround yourself with friends and not wall yourself off. As ridiculous as it sounds, try to have some fun, and/or do something life-affirming - it helps.

In time you will get more and more numb to the fact that she's death, and this is probably a good thing, too; it's a way to cope. Sometimes this happens sooner rather than later - I remember people looking at me like I was an alien because I didn't shed a single tear at the funeral, but I wasn't consciously uncaring, I was protecting myself.

Anyway, as months and years go by you'll be fine, though the fact that she's gone will sometimes hit you like a sledgehammer to the chest when you least expect it. It sucks, but it passes quickly and happens rarely.

Again, my condolences. Hang in there.