Poll: Love Without Happiness...

[SckizoBoy]

You find me in a suddenly contemplative aspect this evening... Incidentally, I'm remembering... and trying not to cry... Thus, catharsis, of sorts...

Two questions, to which I honestly don't know how I should answer:

1) Do you believe it is possible for two people to (romantically) love each other without ever being happy?

2) Would you give up any potential future happiness you may feel if it meant a mutual and unconditional love in perpetuity?

 

[Rawne1980]

I don't believe there can be a relationship without happiness. Love is an entirely different matter.

When me and my ex split on mutual terms, we stayed friends. The relationship sort of fizzled out and neither of us were happy. I still loved her very much but couldn't stay with her. She didn't like the fact she couldn't change me and I wouldn't change. I wouldn't leave the army for her was the big one.

So yeah. We still loved and cared for each other but we had to part ways due to the relationship making us unhappy to be together.

For your second question no.

I would not give up on my own happiness for a mutual "love".

There would be absolutely no point at all spending your life in a miserable situation that is of your own making. To be honest, i'd rather be happy and single than in a relationship and miserable if that was the options.

 

[SirDoom]

1- Yes
2- No

From my experience, it is possible to love someone without being happy. However, take a look a year or so (maybe less, for those impatient people out there) down the road, and that love will likely fade or turn nasty- into loathing or just plain annoyance.

If you and someone else are in love, but either of you aren't happy, steps need to be taken to fix that problem immediately. If not, you're better off parting ways. Love is good, but I'd take happiness over it any day of the week.

 

[cydvis]

Yes, because it's always possible to be unhappy.

 

[Phasmal]

1. Mmm, yes and no I guess.
2. No, staying in those sort of overly-romanced `Doomed relationships` is just not healthy for anybody, you need to identify toxic people in your life and avoid them. It might be painful, but its better to have some pain than to live the rest of your life in pain.

 

[AzureRaven]

1)Without any happiness whatsoever? I don't believe so. Love can indeed cause pain, but I thoroughly believe even if something tragic keeps two people who love each other apart by whatever means, there's at least some sliver of happiness in there when they think about their loved one, if only a small bit. And I think that's as close as you'd get to being devoid of happiness when concerned with love.

2)The problem with this question is that it hinges on the first answer being yes. I don't think this could work. If I gave up happiness...I don't think I could honestly call it love. There will be compromises when dealing with love. But once happiness becomes a compromise, I'd have trouble referring to it as love at that point.

Simply put, I believe love and happiness to some degree go hand in hand.

 

[DustyDrB]

This is a gloomy thread, so...

There, now don't you feel better?
OP: It's possible, sure. It happens all the time, actually. Just ask married people where one of the people has clinical depression. Or married people who are just on hard times. They can still love each other. Life happens, as they say.

Would I give up my happiness as you ask, though? No. Unquestionably no. I'm fortunate enough to have found many things I enjoy in life. Those things make me happy. So if I could never enjoy surfing, running, playing games, swimming, making (or listening to) music, reading, sharing a meal (and/or a beer) with friends, watching my favorite shows (I couldn't enjoy Community!?!? How sad...), kayaking, hiking, fishing, attending local shows, or playing with my dog...well, love isn't worth it I think.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

snip

Dude, props on Al Green

OT: If we're together and unhappy are we really in love? Perhaps, but it's not worth making each other miserable. It'd be healthier for both of us to try and find someone to love who we acutually get joy from being around. If I really loved them, then I wouldn't them to be miserable because of me.

 

[SckizoBoy]

If we're together and unhappy are we really in love?

It's odd, because I've never been 'in love'... unless that means seeing a woman who suddenly makes me feel like crying, then yes.

Perhaps, but it's not worth making each other miserable. It'd be healthier for both of us to try and find someone to love who we acutually get joy from being around. If I really loved them, then I wouldn't them to be miserable because of me.

Well, as they say 'misery loves company'. But seriously, while I know I should seek happiness, I find myself incapable of doing so. True happiness is a concept that scares the shit out of me at the best of times thanks to some very twisted logic. If two such people were to make a couple, would it be such a bad thing?

 

[King of the Sandbox]

Happiness isn't perpetual. This isn't heaven, y'know. So, yes, you can be with the one you love, and you can both be sad at times.

As for your second question, see above. On the other side of that same coin, I don't have to give up happiness to be in a relationship.

 

[smithy_2045]

It's impossible to love someone and be completely devoid of happiness all of the time.