Poll: Middle Earth - Which race would you be?

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DefunctTheory

Not So Defunct Now
Mar 30, 2010
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Men.

1. Not Uber Mary Sues too perfect to comprehend.
2. Have an empire/government not collapsing forever.
3. Get to die for realsies, and move on to something else.
 

Zen Bard

Eats, Shoots and Leaves
Sep 16, 2012
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Elf. Because they're immortal and have the hot women. Ever see an Orc woman? Yeah...me neither.
 

Chaos Isaac

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Jun 27, 2013
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I'd be a Elf in Middle Earth. Just be so god damn pretty.

Also, well, I'd like to say Orc if they weren't just... well, slaves and shizniz.
 

CoffeeOfDoom

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Jun 3, 2009
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I'd be a Hobbit, because you mainly just sit around smoking and eating all day (I've also got the shortness down).
 

Cowabungaa

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Feb 10, 2008
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Tall I might be, I got the dwarfiness down to a tee. They're passionate, with big personalities, big grudges, big laughter, big anger. Everything's huge about them except physical stature. I just got that part as well in real life.
 

Johnny Impact

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Aug 6, 2008
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Eclipse Dragon said:
I'm five foot tall, I'm a hobbit.

Suppose I could also be a dwarf, since I like the idea of carrying an axe into battle, though I don't know much about their lady folk?
They don't have any. Dwarfs simply spring out of holes in the ground!

OT: Clicked Dwarf, because I'm dour, angry, uncharismatic, have no friends, and basically hide in my cave all day.

Oh. Which one if I had the choice. Didn't see that.

Elf, of course. Anyone who clicks anything else is just being silly. Immortality, inhuman grace, super senses, the richest culture in the world, gated communities of beauty and wonder.....and the least attractive among the Elves is better looking than the most beautiful of humans.
 

FPLOON

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Jul 10, 2013
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A [black] Hobbit... because smoke weed everyday...

Other than that, I don't think I would have to care about the politics of Middle Earth if I'm a [black] Hobbit...
 

StatusNil

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Oct 5, 2014
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Elf, I'd quite like to lounge around the Rivendell garden all day and night and sing yearning songs about the old days.
 

Dragonlayer

Aka Corporal Yakob
Dec 5, 2013
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FIGHTING URUK-HAI! FEAST ON MANFLESH! SERVE THE WHITE HAND! BE THE SETTING'S REPRESENTATION OF A MODERN INDUSTRIALIZED ARMY WITH ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY! SOMEHOW GET BUTCHERED BY TREES!

I am basing my decision on the game and movie adaptations, because I just couldn't get into the books.
 

TheRightToArmBears

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Dec 13, 2008
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Probably a Hobbit. It suits me down to a tee- short, laid back drinkers that don't give a shit about your drama. It's tempting to say Elves because they get a sweet deal, but I think having to spend any time around other Elves would piss me off too much.

EDIT: Fuck that shit actually. Eagles. Fucking Eagles man. I'd love to be a giant Eagle. I get to fly around all day doing badass Eagle shit. Also, Elves are vegetarian aren't they? Sod that. Eagles eat nothing but meat. Awesome.
 

Tojumaru

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Oct 17, 2014
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Sorry to crash your party but...
http://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/jun/11/christopher-lee-dies-at-the-age-of-93-dracula

My favorite horror actor. Now the team is back together.
http://manilovefilms.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/P-Cushing-C-Lee-V-Price-vampires-701553_768_770.jpg
 

BadNewDingus

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Sep 3, 2014
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The Hobbits!

They get to steal pies, smoke weed, and sleep in the fields. Also, every now and then a wizard comes to shoot fireworks! What's not to love!?

I wouldn't want to be the Elves. They seem like they all have a stick up their butt. Pretty much what the human race is going to become in a few years here on Earth with all the PC talk.
 

God'sFist

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May 8, 2012
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All these people saying us elves are boring and stiff obviously they have never danced in the woods in the pale moon light you know if it gets through the trees. Wood elf over here everybody here is talking about high elves but forgetting that wood elves exist in the universe they enjoy having fun and even get drunk allot. And if we're talking hobbit movies Legolas the bad ass elf is a wood elf prince, so there.
 

Mikeybb

Nunc est Durandum
Aug 19, 2014
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Short, hairy of cheeks and feets.

I would like to think myself a dwarf, gruff and daring, but I know in my heart I'm a hearth loving, parochial little bugger.
Not the adventuring kind, no.
I'd be a respectable hobbit.
Not having none of that wandering around with tall folk, carrying off fishy smelling rings and dropping them in big firey holes.

Just a well timed second breakfast and a nice mid morning nap in the sun, making sure those damn tooks don't steal my prize carrots again.

That's the life.
 

veloper

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Jan 20, 2009
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The really boring choice for really boring people here is men, so they are out.
Elves are Mary Sues and the males have terrible fashion sense, so they are out too.

Dwarfs may be okay, but I don't fancy bearded ladies and staying underground all day.

So hobbits all the way. Getting fatter and lazier I can envision for myself. Booze, pipeweed and parties also help.