Poll: Need advice on a girl or two

[zehydra]

Perhaps you should stop drawing up lists in an attempt to compare people like it's a choice between two different brand products, and instead just go with whoever feels right. Also..

So it all comes down to, who should I try to focus on? I really like Celine, but I haven't seen much progress with her lately. Whereas Sarah has shown a lot more interest in such short time. Or is there anything I can do to get Celine's attention? Also, the situation with Sarah is starting to remind me of how it started with Juno, I didn't like or know her much at the start, but turned out to be an ok person over time.

Damn this was perhaps a bit too long ^^

You're going to put someone to the side because you don't see progress with them? That's just cruel and selfish. There's no reason not to be very good friends with someone because she's not going to fuck you. If you push her away just so you can 'focus your efforts' on someone else in some vain hope you're going to get laid, then that is fucking despicable.

Why do you think he's doing it do get laid? This sounds like a romantic interest to me, which may or may not have any 'fucking' involved.

 

[Broady Brio]

If I had to choose for you, I'd pick Celine. Just not yet. Next party maybe? I don't know much about relationships.

 

[Quaxar]

What the hell's FF?

Probably Final Fantasy...

Also, I'd say Celine, but then again I wouldn't ask people on the internet about which girl to choose for a relationship. You should rather decide for yourself.

 

[SimuLord]

your talking about them as if your choosing between two laptops, listing all the specifications like that.

Expecting women to behave in a logical manner or according to any kind of definable specification is the first mistake young men make in dating.

 

[sramota]

You're .. 20?
Sleep with Sarah then start flirting with Celine. Simple.

Not your deal? Then Celine.

To give you a quick rundown - Age 20, smoker, in an organization you don't like, that's sleeping material.

Shared interests, same school, not being offensive on the flirting - That's either a friend for life or a wife.

Just go slow, talk more and more (Note her reactions, does she seek you out just to talk? If you become more talkative with her, does she become more or less prone to engaging you in conversations?) and so on.

On a more fundamental level - When you'll get laid:
Sarah, in 2-3 weeks if you go for it.
Celine, 1-6 months depending on her intial interest.

One is more work but more return value, one is more instant gratification but won't last as long.
It's your choice.

 

[SimuLord]

You're .. 20?
Sleep with Sarah then start flirting with Celine. Simple.

Not your deal? Then Celine.

To give you a quick rundown - Age 20, smoker, in an organization you don't like, that's sleeping material.

Shared interests, same school, not being offensive on the flirting - That's either a friend for life or a wife.

Just go slow, talk more and more (Note her reactions, does she seek you out just to talk? If you become more talkative with her, does she become more or less prone to engaging you in conversations?) and so on.

On a more fundamental level - When you'll get laid:
Sarah, in 2-3 weeks if you go for it.
Celine, 1-6 months depending on her intial interest.

One is more work but more return value, one is more instant gratification but won't last as long.
It's your choice.

I like the cut of your jib, boy.

 

[sramota]

I like the cut of your jib, boy.

I enjoy the benefits of being old enough to be wise and young enough to know what made me wise.

 

[Gasaraki]

What the hell's FF?

Probably Final Fantasy...

That's what I was thinking too but then I read the beginning of the post and it said I had just gotten back from my journey to South America and attended a meeting/conference hosted by a new volunteer organization that I'll from here on call FF.
Why would you care about hiding the identity of a volunteer organization?

 

[Johnnyallstar]

First of all, if you're making out with random chicks, and having sex with people you meet on the fly, you are in no way ready for a real relationship now. You need to mature first, because otherwise your current antics will make the relationship very short and painful instead of deep and meaningful.

You might as well just be asking which one should you jump in the sack next with, instead of thinking about a serious relationship.

 

[Casimir_Effect]

What the hell is with all the hate on list making? It's a natural process for a more logical and less emotionally based mind. Implies you follow your head rather than your heart, by trying to find who you would be most compatible with and as such happier. It doesn't show you're a jerk, rather you are less likely to rush into things then get all weepy and whiny about it when everything falls apart. You'll end up confused and resenting logic, maths and Ancient Greek philosophers.

Also, why can't you hit it off with someone who you sleep with from the go? In my experience, this can be a good way to go about things. It's the ultimate ice-breaker and removes a load of pressure from both parties. If you decide to go for a real relationsip, then I recommend holding off for a while until the relationship has progressed.

Recommendation: ask Celine out. If it fails, wait a while, get closer to Sarah, date her. Upon success, wind-down the friendship with Sarah else things get awkward or bite you on the ass later.

 

[Thoff09]

In my opinion I would try a little harder with Celine. Try showing an intrest in dating and see what happens. I've had too many experiences where something didn't work simply because I didn't try so it couldn't hurt. And if she doesn't show any intrest then just move on, don't get wrapped up in it because you'll spend the next year with the attitude of an emo kid with little more ambition then a kemo patient on morphine.

Oops a little too much insite into my senior year of high school.

 

[antipunt]

This is actually relatively simple, despite being overtly complicated.

Calculate it out like a economics decision; clean and simple.

How much do you value your friendship with Celine?

Would you want to be friends with Sarah?

How would rejection affect each (detraction)?

Etc. etc.

Choose the option of max marginal utility (best 'apparent/estimated' benefit for yourself)

 

[BonsaiK]

Damn this was perhaps a bit too long ^^

It's okay I forgive you. Answered in the Relationship Problem thread at the following link: ---> http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161-Relationship-problem-thread?page=49#8281675

 

[Kitteh]

might i suggest a 3-way...

 

[Quaxar]

What the hell's FF?

Probably Final Fantasy...

That's what I was thinking too but then I read the beginning of the post and it said I had just gotten back from my journey to South America and attended a meeting/conference hosted by a new volunteer organization that I'll from here on call FF.
Why would you care about hiding the identity of a volunteer organization?

Right... that's what I get for just skimming through the text. Then it's not Final Fnatasy (unless they take volunteers now).

 

[hurfdurp]

We don't even know how big their boobs are, how are we supposed to make an informed decision?

 

[The_Healer]

Smoker

That's my biggest turn off, I would go for the first one you've known her longer anyway...
I didn't read the entire thing, it's too long...

I did read the entire thing. And then I saw that word at the bottom.
All that reading, for nothing. Goddamit.

Smoking is disgusting.

 

[dogenzakaminion]

Relationships are overrated. Just forget both of them.

It must be sad inside your head

 

[Benny Blanco]

(just a quick foreword, this is my first thread at the Escapist, after lurking for over 3 years :O)

Don't be shy laddybuck, everyone has to post their first post sometime...

Right, let's start off with December 2009. I had just gotten back from my journey to South America and attended a meeting/conference hosted by a new volunteer organization that I'll from here on call FF. After presenting myself and my interests, the next person says "My name is Celine, and I like to do just about the same things as Bob" (of course, her real name isn't Celine, and my real name isn't Bob, but I'll just use that here for the sake of a slight anonymity). I look at the girl and notice that god damn she looks really nice, I'd say a 9 on the scale. The meeting continues and I go home, remembering her name in my head. After finding her on Facebook, I look at her profile picture once and continue on with life. (I didn't add her or anything)

OK, so Facebook stalking an attractive work colleague is a little sleazy but I'm sure many of us have done it once or twice...

Late February 2010: After getting shitfaced drunk I make out with a girl that I barely know (I'll call her Juno), the next weekend it gets worse (actually better, if ya know what I mean . However, it turns out she has a boyfriend, and the next 3 months it goes from an affair to a casual relationship after they break up. For a while things seem to turn stable in our "relationship", however her ex has in the meanwhile gathered enough shit about me from the internet and launches an attack that starts to break things up between us.

And so, undeterred by this, you posted this thread on a public free forum? Shmoove...

June 2010: About a week or so after the breakup with Juno, I drink away my sorrows at a beer-tasting event with FF. Across the room I hear my sister (3 years older) saying "Oh, and that guy over there is my brother, cool person" to some girls, I turn around and do a "O hai there gurls O_< *wink*" and notice Celine again, who I've almost forgotten due to those hectic past months with Juno and all. I spend the rest of the evening drinking more beer and talking to Celine's friends. At home again, I add Celine's friends on Facebook in addition to her. I don't care much about them as they all turn out to be occupied, except for Celine. It turns out she's 2 years older than me, single, likes Star Wars and has acceptable music taste.

Occupied? By who, Ze Germans?

Later that month, it's BBQ time with FF and I'm at the supermarket with some friends looking for meat to grill. I just want some simple hot dogs while the others are into fancy meat, and there is Celine again, she just happens to want something simple as well. So we team up to buy a big pack of some simple and cheap hot dogs for the BBQ. The BBQ is a success and we have an ok evening with beer and other drinks. Out of nowhere it turns out she likes Left 4 Dead (and L4D2). It stopped there though, because I had to catch the last bus home along with my other friends.

-Insert tacky innuendo about meat here-

A few weeks later I start chatting with Celine on Facebook, not only does she like Left 4 Dead, but she's also an avid fan of Need for Speed, and of course liked the Hot Pursuit series best. Actually, the upcoming Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit game is coming out on her birthday. We talk some more and I get to know her a bit more (she really likes FPS games), also she's going to study maths and physics at the same place I'm going to once September comes.

The summer vacation goes by, I'm busy working things with FF, and Celine is working at her job. However every now and then there's some event with FF, be it beer-drinking, games or volunteer work. Celine turns out to be a great team-player with me, so we get things done, be it the beer drinking or winning in games. Lots of high-fives. August ends, and I start on my studies. Celine and I don't have any classes together, but we meet every now and then in the cantina to practice maths and physics. I'd say we've gotten be quite ok friends.

A few weeks ago, I went on a mission with FF (but without Celine) to a foreign country along with some other organizations. (actually, the whole operation had to be kept secret at that time, due to the sitation with the secret police). The last day ends up with all of us getting drunk on the flight home, it starts at 3pm and continues once we're back home in our own country. I end up following 2 girls home and partying out at their apartment, later that night I end up having sex with one of them, let's call her Sarah. The next morning I leave early, because I have important things to do.

That weekend I end up meeting Sarah by pure coincidence twice. She adds me on facebook, starts chatting with me. She even has my number and regularly texts me asking whats up and stuff. Last Monday I gave in and went to a concert with her and also met some of her friends. In the meanwhile, things seem to have sort of reached a dead end with Celine, she's getting busy with her studies and has found new friends at school to help her out. I haven't told her about Sarah yet.

Oh Facebook. Destroyer of Worlds.

Time to sum up some things.

Celine:
+ Likes L4D, Need for Speed + other games
+ Likes Star Wars
+ Has many interests in common, especially involvement in FF
+ Likes beer, and more advanced beer. Also likes eating food
+ Is seriously hot (and sporty), looking at her, you wouldn't guess she had any nerdy interests at all
- Is 2 years older than me (this isn't really a problem for me, but I don't know how she feels about a younger boy)
- Hasn't shown much interest in anything beyond being friends
- If i screw things up, things are going to be awkward in FF

She likes food? Wow, sounds like a keeper. Seriously though, she sounds great and honestly, 2 years is not a big gap, especially as you get older. Also, slightly older women who are into sport/fitness are awesome. If you share hobbies, all the better. Just make sure of your workplace's policies on intra-office dating and don't do anything overtly creepy.

Sarah:
+ Is showing quite some interest in me
+ Same age as me (1 week younger)
+ Likes ZELDA
+ Not involved in FF, if things screw up, I can just ditch her and continue on life in FF as normal
- Doesn't have the looks of Celine, more like a 6 or perhaps 7 on the scale
- Smoker
- I don't want to get involved in her organization
- Don't know her that much or as long as Celine

Dunno mate, you don't sound too enthusiastic about this one.

So it all comes down to, who should I try to focus on? I really like Celine, but I haven't seen much progress with her lately. Whereas Sarah has shown a lot more interest in such short time. Or is there anything I can do to get Celine's attention? Also, the situation with Sarah is starting to remind me of how it started with Juno, I didn't like or know her much at the start, but turned out to be an ok person over time.

Damn this was perhaps a bit too long ^^

I'd go with Celine myself, you seem to be more interested in her, have more in common and generally find her more attractive. Although you need to work in plausible deniability about flirting or any overt moves, she may, even if not interested, be flattered by your attention, provided you don't do anything offensive (the caveat being that "offensive" is somewhat subjective.

Remember though: "If an attractive guy does it, it's flirting. If an unattractive guy does it it's sexual harassment." This goes double for co-workers as you can't avoid them or cut them out of your social circle as easily as drunken hook-ups.

On the topic of volunteer organisations and love life, I would suggest a brief article written by a friend of mine who works in the Human Rights sector: http://www.yphr.org.uk/?p=307