Poll: Pornstar - Would you consider having a relationship with one?

[n00beffect]

YES, I would, because I am an open-minded person and I don't care what she is as long as I like her. I would require her to quit being a pornstar though.

You are clearly not suitable for such a relationship. Dating someone and trying to change their career (whatever it is) makes you one of the worst possible types of partners that can ever exist for anybody. If you're the jealous type, don't date a pornstar in the first place. Period. Can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, etc.

Onto the question and I've actually dated people who have sex for a living, so the answer for me is obviously yes.

Spoiler: and here is what such a relationship is actually like...

People who do something (anything) as a day job tend to not like to also do that same thing a lot after-hours. Professional cooks don't tend to cook at home at all. Professional musicians will never "come to your house for a jam", they will only pick up and play their instrument when songwriting or performing. And girls who are in porn films tend to not have sex a lot outside that, and when they do, their preference is for really romantic lovemaking with lots of foreplay, and their favourite sexual position is missionary - with the lights off.

Okay, first off I wouldn't TRY and change her career, the scenario I explained is that SHE HERSELF is willing to give it up. Now I don't know, how your relationships usually go, but there's something called SACRIFICE for another person. Her sacrificing her career would be completely normal, since most of them start this type of career, because of low self esteem and daddy issues. If I'm here to fill in the blanks in that girl's heart, would render her career completely pointless and give her an opportunity to actually do what she WANTS or HAS ALWAYS WANTED to do. Because, you as a person who has dated a pornstar yourself should know, that these people usually have dreams, goals that they tend do reach one day or fullfil. Goals nad dreams that do not include several penises up their rectum(usually, maybe there are exceptions dunno xD). Atleast that's what I think. I may be wrong and You may be right. But that's my opinion on the whole matter.

The idea of the pornstar as the hapless victim being led down the evil path of pornography as a way to substitute or compensate for the approval or love she never had while growing up is a good device to tug the heartstrings in Hollywood films, but the average adult industry worker is typically a lot less naive than that. The few who really are that naive don't tend to last long, because let's face it, anyone looking for those things in the porn industry is looking in the wrong place and will quickly realise it. Most girls who work in porn do so because they see the potential to make a lot of money very quickly, or conversely, to make a reasonable amount of money while working very few hours compared to the average worker. They are there generally because they want to be there. Do they all unconditionally love every aspect of what they do? Generally, no (mind you this applies to almost all people in almost all jobs). However, they've assessed the situation, and decided for whatever reason that in this particular case the rewards outweigh the pitfalls.

For a guy to then step in and say "if I'm here to fill in the blanks in that girl's heart, it would render her career completely pointless" is naive. It's more than likely that she's not in the business to fill in those particular blanks. She's probably more interested in trying to fill in the blanks in her chequebook.

I am talking about the mindset of this particular person not the exact reason as to why she's there. Now, how do you suppose a normal person just goes one day - "Oh I should totally become a pornstar, there's a lot of money in it and a lot of false publicity - that's great!" ? I am not arguing whether this is good or bad or whether the pornstar is there for money or not, all I am arguing about is that to be able to exploit your own body to the world in such a way takes a lot of guts or in other words - a strong mindset. A mindset biult upon deprivation. Ask yourself this: Would a loved and cared about person ever consider working as a pornstar? A christian for instance, that has had a loving family and friends, a beautiful relationship and all that bull**it... Would she do it? No! Ofcourse not... Why would she? She would normally pick the moral and "honest"(because most people find it dishonest to be a pornstar, go figure xD) way of earning money. And I am not for that, I don't think like that. Don't get me wrong. All I am saying is that to be able to work as a pronstar you have to be an extremely openminded person with almost no value of what so ever. Because a person who values his own dignity would never do it. Be it because she thinks that "her body is a temple" and all that crap that most people spew every now and then or something else. And in order to be a very opeminded person you either have to be deprived of most values or you have to go through a series of deprivations, or should I say CHANGES that make you look back and say "Damn it, I can't believe I've been following such triviallities for so long... F**k 'em! I am becoming a pornstar!". It's just common logic that most people in order to become more openminded have to look at society in a different way, or start looking at society in a different way. And you're stating that just materialistic views are enough to make you "cross the border"? That would be what's naive here. Because in order to achieve that kind of mindset where you put money in front of other lively values such as familly approval and all that you too have to become an even more openminded person - an abillity that most people don't posses or simply what most people CAN NOT do. So in order to do it they have to be different in some way. Different to soicety and it's moral understandings. But see there's the catch. A girl that states: "I don't need love, I need money!" Is the exact opposite of what she is stating to be. It's also common logic that people want what they can't have or what they sacrifice in order to achieve something else. In this matter it's spiritual values they sacrifice in order to achieve materialstic values. But you tend to forget that people are selfish creatures. We want everything, be it possible or not. So a girl that has sacrificed moral values for money, wants these moral values as well. Wants to be loved, not only to be thought of as a sexual object. And if a person ever shows love towards a person who practicaly deprives himself of it, is surely to change the mindset of that particular person. I've done it myself. I had a 1 year relationship with a stripper and in the beginning she was exactly like that: "The job is important to me, because I love dancing and it's easy and there's a lot of money in it." I said "Fine." It didn't matter to me. But afterwards, once we got into a more serious relationship she changed drastically. She quit her job herself without me mentioning anything and it got me thinking as to why she did it? And it struck me - She didn't need it anymore. Neither did she need the money, neither did she need the approval of these "drunk bastards that go and wank-off at her sight"(like she said). She had earned a lot of money already and she was happy with what I was offering her - what she was missing or sacrificing in the first place. And then we broke up... And now I go every saturday to go see her perform again, because now that she's lost what I offered her in the beginning she goes back to the next best thing that feeds her "soul" - "the approval of these drunk bastards that wank-off at her sight". That's my opinion from my own personal expirience.

P.S. Forgive my poor language, grammar and punctuation. I am a foreigner, hope you understood what I was trying to say.

 

[Flying Dagger]

Spoiler: Five pages and still no one else has posted this?

I answered "only if she had stopped doing that"
Because I think I place way more importance on the fact that she was perfect for me then other people do.

But then why make her stop her career?

Because frankly I can't imagine that someone who did that sort of thing would be perfect for me. Someone who's that many worlds away from where I stand probably wouldn't be into the same things as I am, the same whimsical and pure view of romance that I hold. I could accept that she could have once been a porn star and that has changed her opinion on the matter, but a porn star wouldn't be perfect.

 

[Slayer_2]

Sure, I'm not the jealous kind, and as long as she's clean of STI's, and a person I can get along with, I'd have no issue with it.