Poll: Question: Are women less affected by the attractiveness of others, or just hide it better?
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The things you're referring to on a guy are commonly called "V lines". I'm actually not sure if they're a bone structure thing or a muscle tone thing.Vault101 said:well...both.... when they peek out from the top of their underwearZhukov said:
[sub/]on heavily muscled guys it looks different from girls but its sort of like a V thing[/sub]
When I think of hip bones on a girl I'm thinking of something like this:
The best part of that for me was realising (too late to comment I must admit) his definition of Power Fantasy to make them both count would have made Edward Cullen a male power fantasy. Lets consider how that particular assertion would have gone down.LifeCharacter said:
From personal experience only and how every women I know acts including myself, they look at the menu, but they don't linger on the ingredients.
My sister regularly points out or shows me images of guys she finds attractive, but it's usually more "look at that body"[footnote]What "body" exactly is subjective, Tom Hiddleston has just as many fan girls as Chris Hemsworth.[/footnote] as a start, rather than "look at that ass", so she tends to look at the whole before any individual area, then it might go to the ass or more often the face [footnote]and if they're oogling your eyes, the oogling isn't really obvious because they're staring at your face.[/footnote].
That is the initial reaction anyway, get talking to the guy and, for example, they start talking about their conquests and acting like a total asshole, the chances for sex greatly decrease.[footnote]Or maybe for some, increase, to each their own.[/footnote]
That being said, even if you don't look like Chris Hemsworth or Tom Hiddleston, doesn't mean I'm not going to give you a chance. I play video games, therefore other people who play video games have better chances of maintaining my interest in all forms of relationships. There's wiggle room.
My sister regularly points out or shows me images of guys she finds attractive, but it's usually more "look at that body"[footnote]What "body" exactly is subjective, Tom Hiddleston has just as many fan girls as Chris Hemsworth.[/footnote] as a start, rather than "look at that ass", so she tends to look at the whole before any individual area, then it might go to the ass or more often the face [footnote]and if they're oogling your eyes, the oogling isn't really obvious because they're staring at your face.[/footnote].
That is the initial reaction anyway, get talking to the guy and, for example, they start talking about their conquests and acting like a total asshole, the chances for sex greatly decrease.[footnote]Or maybe for some, increase, to each their own.[/footnote]
That being said, even if you don't look like Chris Hemsworth or Tom Hiddleston, doesn't mean I'm not going to give you a chance. I play video games, therefore other people who play video games have better chances of maintaining my interest in all forms of relationships. There's wiggle room.
Technically, but lady boner is used purely because boner is an acceptable childish term, not for anatomical accuracy. There is no equivalent light hearted term for getting wet, women would rather describe their bodies in male terms like lady boner. My point stands.Vault101 said:
[quote/] and how does one see if a guy is completely harmless? she can't
[/quote]
It's not about whether he is harmless or not, its about preferring to say he might kill me rather than I don't find him attractive. There is no call to get defensive on behalf of the hypothetical woman example. I'm not trying to discredit a witness, I'm talking about the ways women navigate imposed restrictions on their behaviour.
I'm not pretending. I know in so far as any person can know how other people think and feel. Women talk about how they feel, and I have no reason not to believe that that is how they feel. I claim no special authority.LifeCharacter said:
You've cut the generally speaking from the beginning of my comment in order to misrepresent me. You are dishonest.Vault101 said:
I think there should be a lot more choices than simply yes or no. Unless you're asexual, you will be physically attracted to at least one other person in your life. And using the "double take" as a standard for finding someone else attractive, and most of the examples you used are really sexual harassment. So yes I would say women sexually harass men less often.
Personally, I've dated people who didn't get that I was sexually attracted to them. Apparently having lots of sex doesn't count as showing your interest.
Personally, I've dated people who didn't get that I was sexually attracted to them. Apparently having lots of sex doesn't count as showing your interest.
*clicks spoiler*Baffle said:Ah yes, missed the picture. I mean more when it's like this:Zhukov said:
You could lose a finger in there!
Fucking hell, it's like those legs are detachable.
Well that is a completely social construct, it is considered manly to be crude and it is considered womanly to be subtle / polite.Anja Bech said:
And by that measure men are encouraged to express themselves crudely while women are discouraged. This is why we frequently see polite analogs for attractive traits such as nice/sweet/smart/strong/caring, yet those actually do nothing for attraction, they are merely socially encouraged expressions.
Funny thing is, for the conversations I've heard when women discuss hot guys it's generally been the same focus on physical appearance with a few minor details (muscles and perceived strength over curvy features, and sharp hair styles and masculine facial features over pretty and petite facial features) with only one major difference -Anja Bech said:
Every female discussion of hot males I have heard has focused on Confidence. Women will fawn over a confident man, in fact I have seen women fawn over a man who was skinny and rather goofy simply because his sharp dress sense, daring beard/mustache, and general movement and actions just exuded confidence - So in some cases it may trump physical appearance.
But that's just my personal experience from several conversations in groups of men/women when the topic of hot guys/gals came up, so it should probably be taken with a pinch of salt (or a shovel full!)
Reading the title of this thread, I was half-expecting it to be about whether straight women notice the attractiveness of women around them, and even though it turns out that's not the OP's intention, I think it still illustrates the point.
Yes, women are acutely aware of the attractiveness of people around them! In my experience, straight women are more aware of their own attractiveness, the attractiveness of women around them, and by extension, their place in the "attractiveness hierarchy", than men. Us blokes are almost charmingly bad at rating ourselves and other men objectively, unless there's a large and pronounced difference in attractiveness. Largely because we don't care - no homo, r-right? - and also because there's not the same societal pressure to be the most attractive person of our sex in the room most of the time. I don't think there's necessarily an evopsych-style gendered reason for this, I just think women are "primed" to be a lot more aware of attractiveness.
Do women check guys out? Hell yes they do. They look, they gaze, they do a double take, they steal a cheeky glance, they might even go a bit doe-eyed and weak at the knees, same as us guys. Again, I think there's more of a societal pressure on women to not be *seen* to be eyeing up guys - men traditionally do the pursuing, after all. I also think there's a bit of truth in the idea that women are attracted to personality and status more than men are, and those aren't usually instantly apparent.
Yes, women are acutely aware of the attractiveness of people around them! In my experience, straight women are more aware of their own attractiveness, the attractiveness of women around them, and by extension, their place in the "attractiveness hierarchy", than men. Us blokes are almost charmingly bad at rating ourselves and other men objectively, unless there's a large and pronounced difference in attractiveness. Largely because we don't care - no homo, r-right? - and also because there's not the same societal pressure to be the most attractive person of our sex in the room most of the time. I don't think there's necessarily an evopsych-style gendered reason for this, I just think women are "primed" to be a lot more aware of attractiveness.
Do women check guys out? Hell yes they do. They look, they gaze, they do a double take, they steal a cheeky glance, they might even go a bit doe-eyed and weak at the knees, same as us guys. Again, I think there's more of a societal pressure on women to not be *seen* to be eyeing up guys - men traditionally do the pursuing, after all. I also think there's a bit of truth in the idea that women are attracted to personality and status more than men are, and those aren't usually instantly apparent.
Ha, I noticed that too. "Why aren't women staring at the men I think they should find attractive?"Loonyyy said:
Regarding the responses, I find the "women's sex drives aren't as high" particularly irritating. Although I don't know whether to be annoyed at being stereotyped, or amused that their partners apparently aren't that keen on sex with them.
For one, men are more visually stimulated whereas women are more imagination stimulated by the large. It's why porn is so great for men and women tend to read erotica. That said, there are plenty of people who go against that generalisation.
Women are taught more by society (judging by how I was raised since i was dfab and the messages that I internalised) to hide our attraction in public. It's looked down on us to openly express our attraction of whomever we're attracted to. And heaven forbid we aren't attracted to men then it's outright taboo to express attraction. Even if expressing it is just staring for a prolonged of time at someone.
I'm more into eyes and voices to be honest though.
Also, as someone else pointed out, women's oogling tends to be things you don't expect (hands, abs, and collarbones are the ones I hear of a lot). So not only are people not expecting women to oogle, but they oogle things that society tends to NOT sexualise more times than things society does (that said I know quite a few women who will go straight for the crotch just to see how big the crotch bulge is).
So to answer your question, op, no. Women aren't less affected by others and no they don't necessarily hide it better either. People just don't expect women to oogle others and as such don't pay attention when they do. And some of them hide their oogling a lot better than most people would think.
Women are taught more by society (judging by how I was raised since i was dfab and the messages that I internalised) to hide our attraction in public. It's looked down on us to openly express our attraction of whomever we're attracted to. And heaven forbid we aren't attracted to men then it's outright taboo to express attraction. Even if expressing it is just staring for a prolonged of time at someone.
I'm more into eyes and voices to be honest though.
Also, as someone else pointed out, women's oogling tends to be things you don't expect (hands, abs, and collarbones are the ones I hear of a lot). So not only are people not expecting women to oogle, but they oogle things that society tends to NOT sexualise more times than things society does (that said I know quite a few women who will go straight for the crotch just to see how big the crotch bulge is).
So to answer your question, op, no. Women aren't less affected by others and no they don't necessarily hide it better either. People just don't expect women to oogle others and as such don't pay attention when they do. And some of them hide their oogling a lot better than most people would think.
It probably matters that I am a lad, before I start talking.
I would assume that women are just more subtle with the checking out of people they find attractive. Examples. The group I work with at Uni are all girls, and none of them have ever mentioned anything about the attractiveness of other people. At least when I'm around, and they are more than likely just not bringing up such topics with a lad they don't know anything about besides first name. But I never notice them checking people out either.
Whereas when I went up to Scarborough to visit my brother at Uni he and his mates will often comment on the attractiveness of and also obviously check out women quite a lot (I have noticed this in the past with groups of lads I don't really know).
However, women are still human and therefore attracted to other humans, ergo, they probably just hide it better.
I think a lot of the differences in my anecdotes comes from the fact that I live in the Grey North of England, where if one is to be a sociable type (I am absolutely not) as a male you have to be "one of the lads". Obviously this involves much cat-calling, wolf-whistling, weheying and "get yer tits art"-ing. And being drunk. And vandalising things. Unspecified deity help anyone from Tumblr who strays unwittingly into the town where I live.
Personally, I find nothing wrong with an innocent glance, from or to either gender, but the comments really weird me out. My brother never used say anything, but when he came back from Uni he started comment - rather explicitly - on pretty much every attractive woman that comes across the TV screen. It makes me visibly wince, but maybe I'm just repressed.
Edit: I myself "check out" women I see, even though I never go for a second glance, or go so far as to turn my head, because then everyone would know that I have sexual desires and that would be deeply inappropriate for strangers in public to think.
I would assume that women are just more subtle with the checking out of people they find attractive. Examples. The group I work with at Uni are all girls, and none of them have ever mentioned anything about the attractiveness of other people. At least when I'm around, and they are more than likely just not bringing up such topics with a lad they don't know anything about besides first name. But I never notice them checking people out either.
Whereas when I went up to Scarborough to visit my brother at Uni he and his mates will often comment on the attractiveness of and also obviously check out women quite a lot (I have noticed this in the past with groups of lads I don't really know).
However, women are still human and therefore attracted to other humans, ergo, they probably just hide it better.
I think a lot of the differences in my anecdotes comes from the fact that I live in the Grey North of England, where if one is to be a sociable type (I am absolutely not) as a male you have to be "one of the lads". Obviously this involves much cat-calling, wolf-whistling, weheying and "get yer tits art"-ing. And being drunk. And vandalising things. Unspecified deity help anyone from Tumblr who strays unwittingly into the town where I live.
Personally, I find nothing wrong with an innocent glance, from or to either gender, but the comments really weird me out. My brother never used say anything, but when he came back from Uni he started comment - rather explicitly - on pretty much every attractive woman that comes across the TV screen. It makes me visibly wince, but maybe I'm just repressed.
Edit: I myself "check out" women I see, even though I never go for a second glance, or go so far as to turn my head, because then everyone would know that I have sexual desires and that would be deeply inappropriate for strangers in public to think.
I figure it's two things:manic_depressive13 said:
1.) Lowered societal standards for male attractiveness. Self reflection doesn't really happen. Hence neckbeards, fedoras, cargo shorts meets oversized hawaiian shirt, oh god why. If it's ever mentioned, it's always handwaved with all the other ways that said man is supposedly awesome.
2.) Homophobia. Can't work out what's attractive or sexy, even in myself to present, because that would be gaaaaaayyyyyyy. I figure this one's a problem where assholes assholishness feeds on said asshole. Oh, and a tinge of sexism when they can't even listen to women on it. Men advising men on what women find attractiv-oh wait that's this thread. Shit.
A large number of men seem to think big muscles and dicks are attractive. Of course, these people are wrong (And good luck on them changing the latter. Telling people on the internet that it's a foot long won't work. All of the Okcupid blogs/tumblrs/whatevers) If they'd noticed the reaction to Tom Hiddleston, Alexander Skarsgard or David Tennant, they might get a little closer to extracting their heads from their asses, rather than trying to squish it in further on "leg day". The only people interested in that are standing in the same gym locker room discussing the amount of creatine they're using.
I think it's weird that they think that noticing someone's attractiveness is related to libido, that a person's sexuality and preferences are dictated by their arousal. That it's a straight jump to sexual dimorphism as a justification for things, which is no better than saying that it's because they're female. I notice whether I think a person is attractive whether or not I'm aroused or interested in a person. I'm pretty sure that's the case for most people. Suddenly the reasoning is different because girls are different Mars/Venus bullshit?
You're right on the money though, it makes for a nice self-fulfilling prophecy. Not that I'd guess there are partners involved.
Pfft? I honestly don?t know anymore. All I can say is that it?s likely easier for women to get laid than it is for men, but that there?s more risk involved. If a woman?s a virgin, it?s more than likely her own choice. If a man?s a virgin, it?s probably split evenly between involuntary celibacy and his own choice.
I can?t really know for sure, though. I don?t have enough female friends, and even with male friends, it can be hard to tell whether or not they?re just acting ?stereotypically male? to impress the others, or flat-out lying about the perceived attractiveness or sexual desirability of conventionally attractive women. It?s all about circumstance, and how much our subconscious really affects what we want in a partner. Because I doubt men think, ?Damn, she?s got the perfect curves for rearing our potential offspring!? when they see a particularly shapely woman. (Not to mention, it completely ignores gay men and lesbians? sex drives, since they can?t mate to have children, throwing the ?evo psych? explanation out of the window.)
Or maybe we are all just slaves to your biology and none of it really makes any sense. Perhaps even statistics have a limit. Observational studies really do. How much is nurture and how much is nature? Just how horny is the average man on an average basis, and the same goes for the average woman on her period (or pregnancy, ?cos that fucks up your hormone levels even more)? These are questions that lack answers that lack proof. And why do men have to do the pursuing most of the time? Surely, there?s more pressure on men than women in terms of dating, so why would it be so taboo for a woman to go up to a man and ask them out on a date or something?
?I dunno, it just kinda makes me feel as if I?d be missing something if I happen to value visual stimuli as opposed to?whatever the other thing would be. Mental stimuli? It just sounds too deterministic. I mean, perhaps the reason women don?t like porn as much as men is because?well, it isn?t aimed at them. There must be a good deal of women that like to see a man with a good physique jerk himself off. I mean, there?s yaoi and stuff out there as well, which can be pretty sexual and even rather rough (which is where the whole ?seme? and ?uke? relationship thing comes from). God, I sound like a complete newb at this?
I can?t really know for sure, though. I don?t have enough female friends, and even with male friends, it can be hard to tell whether or not they?re just acting ?stereotypically male? to impress the others, or flat-out lying about the perceived attractiveness or sexual desirability of conventionally attractive women. It?s all about circumstance, and how much our subconscious really affects what we want in a partner. Because I doubt men think, ?Damn, she?s got the perfect curves for rearing our potential offspring!? when they see a particularly shapely woman. (Not to mention, it completely ignores gay men and lesbians? sex drives, since they can?t mate to have children, throwing the ?evo psych? explanation out of the window.)
Or maybe we are all just slaves to your biology and none of it really makes any sense. Perhaps even statistics have a limit. Observational studies really do. How much is nurture and how much is nature? Just how horny is the average man on an average basis, and the same goes for the average woman on her period (or pregnancy, ?cos that fucks up your hormone levels even more)? These are questions that lack answers that lack proof. And why do men have to do the pursuing most of the time? Surely, there?s more pressure on men than women in terms of dating, so why would it be so taboo for a woman to go up to a man and ask them out on a date or something?
?I dunno, it just kinda makes me feel as if I?d be missing something if I happen to value visual stimuli as opposed to?whatever the other thing would be. Mental stimuli? It just sounds too deterministic. I mean, perhaps the reason women don?t like porn as much as men is because?well, it isn?t aimed at them. There must be a good deal of women that like to see a man with a good physique jerk himself off. I mean, there?s yaoi and stuff out there as well, which can be pretty sexual and even rather rough (which is where the whole ?seme? and ?uke? relationship thing comes from). God, I sound like a complete newb at this?
On average women just hide it better. And the reasons why are part social expectations and part personal experience. Women are not expected, or encouraged, to be sexually open. So they work on being subtle. And if she has personal experience with being creeped out on the regular by guys leering at her she's a lot less likely to ogle someone else.
But yes we notice, and we look. We also discuss hot people that we see with other women.
Damn, it needs to not be winter again. There is a park down from my house that is a mile around so folks in my neighborhood use it for running/jogging/walking(myself included). There is also a large grassy area that people play soccer and rugby on. As well as the basketball court. Shirtless men, shirtless men everywhere. I text a friend of mine a count of all the hot dudes I see while I'm on my walk.
But yes we notice, and we look. We also discuss hot people that we see with other women.
Jumping in to say that both are quite nice. Also shoulder blades.Vault101 said:
Damn, it needs to not be winter again. There is a park down from my house that is a mile around so folks in my neighborhood use it for running/jogging/walking(myself included). There is also a large grassy area that people play soccer and rugby on. As well as the basketball court. Shirtless men, shirtless men everywhere. I text a friend of mine a count of all the hot dudes I see while I'm on my walk.