Poll: Rate my D&D Campaign Background Story ^^

Recommended Videos

Zahri

New member
Dec 15, 2008
1,017
0
0
I figured this should go in gaming discussion since well... It's a game.

That being said, i recently became a DM and have been DMing a custom campaign, and would like to know the escapists thoughts. ^^

The Backstory:

WARNING: I rip off names from just about everything, i'm horrible with them. ^^

Long ago, within the boundaries of the far off and prosperous continent of Cyrodill, (oblivion Reference) the inhabitants lived without fear of wounds, disease, or even death in some cases. It was such that the will of the god of flesh and bone, Ahzrukhal (Fallout 3 reference)let his loyal followers go through life without the burden of such troubling thoughts. With such great power though, minds can become tainted, as did that of the mighty deity. It fell upon him the idea to use such powers to his own gain, having his subject toil to build colossal monuments for weeks on end without the slightest drop of water, or smallest morsel of food. He would have armies cut each other to shreds for his own entertainment, only to have them brought back with his powers so that they may relive their battle, scars still intact. In truth, there was really no reason in his actions but his methods and commands only grew more sick as time went on.

It was not the place of the people to rise up after all, for he could fell the mightiest warriors with the snap of a finger. What the people, who had not known the cold touch of death for such such a long time, led them to sleep in fear of it for the rest of their lives. They, unlike the rest of the world, could not comprehend losing themselves, or those dearest to them to the void, for in reality they never had to deal with it before, and so they continued to bow before the gods might.

It fell upon the first born of the royal family of Cyrodill to bring down the corrupt deity. Using dark and forbidden magics known only by ancient tomes in the royal library, he concealed his presence from the god and for many years to come, fell to a life shrouded in darkness.

It was after a time that the land became unexpectedly shrouded in a storm of amazing ferocity, letting nothing in or out of the oceans surrounding the land. Ahzrukhal felt with the coming of the storm his own powers weakening, his hold on the people loosening. It was at this time that the lost son of the royal family surfaced before the undermined god, and with his own blood and magics that could only be gained from years of harsh study, bound him and rendered him powerless. Feeling weak with the loss of blood, he used what remained of his strength to warp both himself and Ahzrukhal to an altar at the center of Cyrodill, and sacrificed the life of the fallen god so that he himself could take on the might of a god, but to his dismay, he had forgotten to lift the curse of the land, the ever turbulent winds that surrounded the continent, and with his new life as a higher being, he simply could do nothing to revoke that which he had stirred to fell the mighty god of flesh and bone. He would instead give the rest of his eternal life to his people. It was with his expertise over the weather that he would be known to his new followers as the god of rain and snow, and bring prosperity once more to the forsaken lands, now forever isolated from the world rest of the world. The people though would never truly be content until their time had passed, for with the felling of Ahzrukhal, time was given to the ageless people of Cyrodill, who could now pass on to the next world.

It would come to be that with time, what is beyond this storm would be forgotten. There would also come a time in which from beyond the storm, a mighty ship forged of metal and carried through the skies by a raging dragon would take port at a city, offering adventurers a way into the forgotten lands of Cyrodill, given promises of beautiful lands, and riches beyond what the eyes can see.

What's currently happening:

More or less, right now they're on a quest to stop a rogue bishop from sacrificing the current god to take his power. What's more is he found a way to break through the storm barrier, and as of now, What is unknown to the players is that he is creating the means to do so. The main villain is named Mark Twain ^^;; for lack of a better name. ;.; Basically, if they don't stop him, a new god will be unleashed that will more or less bring chaos to the outside world.

As for both ahzrukhals' and Marks' motivation, it's tied from delving into a certain tomb of spells that by chance now happens to be in the player's party. It is heavily bound by locks and chains of all matter, as well as extremely powerful enchantments. The book itself is known to cause insanity in all those who peer inside, and even bound, some of its influence leaks into the person in possession of it. It'll come into play even more in the final battle. ^^

So any thoughts? Concerns? What yall think? ^^
 

Zahri

New member
Dec 15, 2008
1,017
0
0
packedcracker said:
I didn't like it until I read the last paragraph. That really sparked my interests.
Would it be more interesting to watch than "I Hit It With My Axe"? o.o
 

Rauten

Capitalism ho!
Apr 4, 2010
452
0
0
I'd play it. *Thumbs up* Sounds a bit like Demon's Souls, only the area is prosper instead of all screwed up and invaded with cthulu-heads =P
 

Zahri

New member
Dec 15, 2008
1,017
0
0
Rauten said:
I'd play it. *Thumbs up* Sounds a bit like Demon's Souls, only the area is prosper instead of all screwed up and invaded with cthulu-heads =P
Yay mind flayers ^^ I never did beat that game o.o i probably should.
 

Zahri

New member
Dec 15, 2008
1,017
0
0
Demented Teddy said:
Zahri said:
packedcracker said:
I didn't like it until I read the last paragraph. That really sparked my interests.
Would it be more interesting to watch than "I Hit It With My Axe"? o.o
I will not watch that show for the same reason I refuse to watch most trash TV shows.
Because the story and idea just sounds completely stupid.
I personally don't mind it, though the girls kind of strike me as morons. o.o No offense intended.
 

ironclaw17

New member
Nov 20, 2009
9
0
0
So wait what? Ahzrukhal made the people basically immortal, and when he started to get corrupt he just wanted a bunch of colossal monuments built? Hell give me the same thing, and I will build you a tower to the moon. I like the idea about the cursed land. If you would like some more ideas to try. http://www.obsidianportal.com/ I have found with over 5,000 games to search I have kept my game going for years. It is also a great way to keep your ideas in order. Over all you have some good ideas, but personally would love to see them fleshed out a bit more. Good job hope to see more.
 

Zahri

New member
Dec 15, 2008
1,017
0
0
ironclaw17 said:
So wait what? Ahzrukhal made the people basically immortal, and when he started to get corrupt he just wanted a bunch of colossal monuments built? Hell give me the same thing, and I will build you a tower to the moon. I like the idea about the cursed land. If you would like some more ideas to try. http://www.obsidianportal.com/ I have found with over 5,000 games to search I have kept my game going for years. It is also a great way to keep your ideas in order. Over all you have some good ideas, but personally would love to see them fleshed out a bit more. Good job hope to see more.
Among other things o.o I really can't think what else he would want, it was more or less to the point that they were starved to the point of being more or less bone with a thin sheet of skin over it. The people who lived such long lives as well simply could not comprehend death due to such a long time living with the thought that contrary to other places, it was not an inevitability.

If it makes you feel better, i tossed that detail into the story. ^^
 

ironclaw17

New member
Nov 20, 2009
9
0
0
Thats great! Did they feel pain? I know they can't die, but a immortality of pain while forcing them to build monuments to his greatness would really bring out how corrupted he gotten. Another thing you could work on would be why he got that way. You could have it so the players would in some way face the corruption. "and depending on what kinda campaign you are running" Face the corruption so it never rears its head again. I have been playing D&D for years and I am willing to help in any way if you will let me.
 

Zahri

New member
Dec 15, 2008
1,017
0
0
ironclaw17 said:
Thats great! Did they feel pain? I know they can't die, but a immortality of pain while forcing them to build monuments to his greatness would really bring out how corrupted he gotten. Another thing you could work on would be why he got that way. You could have it so the players would in some way face the corruption. "and depending on what kinda campaign you are running" Face the corruption so it never rears its head again. I have been playing D&D for years and I am willing to help in any way if you will let me.
happen to have MSN messenger? ^^


We're already a good way into the campaign actually, but i hadn't considered any of that. So far, it's come down to a plot by a rogue bishop trying to sacrifice the new god so that he might gain the power himself. I have it more well thought out than just that, but i don't want to type too much anymore xD
 

Zahri

New member
Dec 15, 2008
1,017
0
0
Sorry for the double post, but i would really appreciate a bit more feedback ^^;; Nobody else?
 

GreatVladmir

New member
May 25, 2008
296
0
0
Pretty good back story there, alil confusing at some points (the god sounds more bat-shit crazy than wise-gone corrupt) But from a fellow DM, I'd try to keep the refferences to a minimum (I got ripped apart for having alil reference to LOTR, but I play DnD with aload of alpha geeks) And if you can, make it alil more epic, like, say a battle between this lost royal prince and an army of fallen corrupted people bent on supporting the god hoping for the old ways to return. Maybe even to give the party some inccentive, state the storms are slowly moving from Cyrodill to the rest of the world and thus a quest to save the world or make it a chaotic campaign and they are sent forth by some high-priest of chaos to harness to power for there own greedy needs.

But I'm just giving ideas, it is resonably solid on its own but its always good to add to a backstory and add motivation, keeps a campaign from de-railing :).
 

Zahri

New member
Dec 15, 2008
1,017
0
0
GreatVladmir said:
Pretty good back story there, alil confusing at some points (the god sounds more bat-shit crazy than wise-gone corrupt) But from a fellow DM, I'd try to keep the refferences to a minimum (I got ripped apart for having alil reference to LOTR, but I play DnD with aload of alpha geeks) And if you can, make it alil more epic, like, say a battle between this lost royal prince and an army of fallen corrupted people bent on supporting the god hoping for the old ways to return. Maybe even to give the party some inccentive, state the storms are slowly moving from Cyrodill to the rest of the world and thus a quest to save the world or make it a chaotic campaign and they are sent forth by some high-priest of chaos to harness to power for there own greedy needs.

But I'm just giving ideas, it is resonably solid on its own but its always good to add to a backstory and add motivation, keeps a campaign from de-railing :).
More or less, right now they're on a quest to stop a rogue bishop from sacrificing the current god to take his power. What's more is he found a way to break through the storm barrier, and as of now, unbeknownst to the players, he is creating the means to do so. The main villain is named Mark Twain ^^;; for lack of a better name. ;.; Basically, if they don't stop him, a new god will be unleashed that will more or less bring chaos to the outside world.

As for both ahzrukhals' and Marks' motivation, it's tied from delving into a certain tomb of spells that by chance now happens to be in the player's party. It is heavily bound by locks and chains of all matter, as well as extremely powerful enchantments. The book itself is known to cause insanity in all those who peer inside, and even bound, some of its influence leaks into the person in possession of it. It'll come into play even more in the final battle. ^^
 

GreatVladmir

New member
May 25, 2008
296
0
0
Zahri said:
More or less, right now they're on a quest to stop a rogue bishop from sacrificing the current god to take his power. What's more is he found a way to break through the storm barrier, and as of now, unbeknownst to the players, he is creating the means to do so. The main villain is named Mark Twain ^^;; for lack of a better name. ;.; Basically, if they don't stop him, a new god will be unleashed that will more or less bring chaos to the outside world.

As for both ahzrukhals' and Marks' motivation, it's tied from delving into a certain tomb of spells that by chance now happens to be in the player's party. It is heavily bound by locks and chains of all matter, as well as extremely powerful enchantments. The book itself is known to cause insanity in all those who peer inside, and even bound, some of its influence leaks into the person in possession of it. It'll come into play even more in the final battle. ^^
Hmmmmmm,well, sounds like you don't need any help lol, sounds very well rounded with a definitive goal at the end, so really, its fine.
 

Zahri

New member
Dec 15, 2008
1,017
0
0
GreatVladmir said:
Zahri said:
More or less, right now they're on a quest to stop a rogue bishop from sacrificing the current god to take his power. What's more is he found a way to break through the storm barrier, and as of now, unbeknownst to the players, he is creating the means to do so. The main villain is named Mark Twain ^^;; for lack of a better name. ;.; Basically, if they don't stop him, a new god will be unleashed that will more or less bring chaos to the outside world.

As for both ahzrukhals' and Marks' motivation, it's tied from delving into a certain tomb of spells that by chance now happens to be in the player's party. It is heavily bound by locks and chains of all matter, as well as extremely powerful enchantments. The book itself is known to cause insanity in all those who peer inside, and even bound, some of its influence leaks into the person in possession of it. It'll come into play even more in the final battle. ^^
Hmmmmmm,well, sounds like you don't need any help lol, sounds very well rounded with a definitive goal at the end, so really, its fine.
What's funny is now the party split in two -_- It happened because one player happened to chuck a rotting heart at another (he was a vampire, and keeping it for sustenance just in case) and rolled a natural 20 on a strength check to see how hard it would hit the other guy. Now the other guy did manage to dodge it, but he through it so hard that the heart actually penetrating the roof of the building they were in. It continued on to enter the limits of the storm and go through that as well, on through the atmosphere and into space, where it KNOCKED A STAR out of its place in the heavens to have it land in the oceans in the outskirts of Cyrodill.

Now 3 of them are on a quest for the star while the other 3 go on to the domain of the god of rain and snow, the Ice continent. o.o
 

Twad

New member
Nov 19, 2009
1,254
0
0
Ill be frank, i didnt like it. Too many plot holes.
And it was a bit hard to read too, confusing in some places. Im pretty sure i misunderstood stuff.

Doesnt have much in the way of oppenings for internal conflicts and mystery.

THe big bad is a big bad because... he can. Thats.. not interesting in the least. No motivation, goals, justifications.. and hes a GOD!

Immortal people know only his rule and nothing else... the god just turned ax-crazy because he could? WHat led to this madness in the first place? Was it an outside influence?

Invincible, immortal people cowed in fears, hero showed up, won... because? No challenge.
The story feels like a "too convenient" line of events.

WHere is the heroic struggle? THe hero just poped and owned the god, the population didnt know/care/support him?

WHy did the big bad god of badness lose his power in the first place? He seemed pretty powerfull when he turned crazy, why the drop in power? Is the madness the reason, or the loss of faith in him from the population? Or something else?

WHy didnt the god just snap his fingers to kill "the son of the royal familly"?
Why an altar-of-godhood was just.. lying around?

In a land that knew no pain, death and whatever.. they still had ancient scrolls of god-kiling forbiden magic (of doom) on hand... how convenient. Just speculating here; Im pretty sure it would mean that the royal familly (or someone controlling them) plotted for a LONG time (when the god was still sane) to make the god turn ax-crazy, and then kill him for their own ends. The "fact" that the hero acted alone make it llook like a planned assasination.

Of course, being isolated and "it all happened long ago", its a land of discovery for outsiders/adventurers. What happened to the locals? Some things might have evolved or disapeared.

THere is potential. Its confusing.
 

Zahri

New member
Dec 15, 2008
1,017
0
0
Twad said:
Ill be frank, i didnt like it. Too many plot holes.
And it was a bit hard to read too, confusing in some places. Im pretty sure i misunderstood stuff.

Doesnt have much in the way of oppenings for internal conflicts and mystery.

THe big bad is a big bad because... he can. Thats.. not interesting in the least. No motivation, goals, justifications.. and hes a GOD!

Immortal people know only his rule and nothing else... the god just turned ax-crazy because he could? WHat led to this madness in the first place? Was it an outside influence?

Invincible, immortal people cowed in fears, hero showed up, won... because? No challenge.
The story feels like a "too convenient" line of events.

WHere is the heroic struggle? THe hero just poped and owned the god, the population didnt know/care/support him?

WHy did the big bad god of badness lose his power in the first place? He seemed pretty powerfull when he turned crazy, why the drop in power? Is the madness the reason, or the loss of faith in him from the population? Or something else?

WHy didnt the god just snap his fingers to kill "the son of the royal familly"?
Why an altar-of-godhood was just.. lying around?

In a land that knew no pain, death and whatever.. they still had ancient scrolls of god-kiling forbiden magic (of doom) on hand... how convenient. Just speculating here; Im pretty sure it would mean that the royal familly (or someone controlling them) plotted for a LONG time (when the god was still sane) to make the god turn ax-crazy, and then kill him for their own ends. The "fact" that the hero acted alone make it llook like a planned assasination.

Of course, being isolated and "it all happened long ago", its a land of discovery for outsiders/adventurers. What happened to the locals? Some things might have evolved or disapeared.

THere is potential. Its confusing.
Thank you for pointing all that out. ^^ I will revise accordingly, and get back to you, thank you. :D

Though i do have an answer for atleast a few questions.

Both the god and mark twain turned crazy due to the influence of a tome of spells they both delved into. The tome itself for a reason that will be explained to the players later a property that turns whoever may have the book in their possession to insanity.

Though i do like your idea for an assassination plot... Thank you for that tidbit. ^^