Poll: Serious talk, Would you care if people didn't like you?

[Parasondox]

Good Afternoon, evening and morning wherever you all are in the world,

Interesting thought. Would you care whether people disliked you? I don't think I have much else to say cause it's straightforward. Me personally, if someone disliked me, or hated me, I wouldn't really let it bother me. If they have time to dislike/hate me, then go. When I was younger, I would try my hardest to impress people and get them to like me for whatever reason. It didn't help because then certain people took advantage of me then ended up with pushing me over the edge. 'Straw that broke the camels back situation' was how it turned out and from then on while rebuilding myself mentally, I have learnt that you can't always please everyone and people will dislike you if you don't always agree with their methods of life. If people disliked me or hated e, then so be it.

So what do you think, would you care if people dislike you or not? It could be from family, work colleagues, professors, teachers or anyone you know and see.

Let me know and thank you for reading.

 

[Auron225]

Even if someone doesn't like me; I don't mind so long as they are civil. I do have a problem with those who can't act like an adult and have a conversation without letting the other person know they hate them (unless of course that person has seriously wronged them but to my knowledge I haven't done that to anyone).

It can depend on the situation too. When you work with young people; it really helps if the people you work with like you. If someone in particular hates you and deliberately trys to make your life hard then yes it's very bothersome.

 

[Fraught]

It's pretty easy for me.

If I like that person, I do care that/if they dislike me.
If I dislike that person, I don't give a shit.

I don't work to impress people often, but I do want to impress, and have an active interest in being likable, to the people I like. I think liking a person comes hand-in-hand with wanting them to like you.

And yeah, I may exhibit too much caring about it sometimes, I guess, but my solution is mostly always to rather distance myself from that person and shut myself off to them if they don't give me what I want, instead of running at them and trying to squeeze it out of them, so I'm good.

Oh, and also, I'm pretty sure it should be "Would you care if people didn't like you?", seeing as you're setting up a hypothesis.

 

[Colour Scientist]

I probably care too much about what people think about me, even strangers.

It doesn't bother me as much anymore but when I was younger I was a bit of a pushover because of it. I wanted to please everyone and I hated the thought of anyone being annoyed or angry with me, I apologised to people for things I didn't do, gave up things for other people, that kind of stuff.
I'm a lot more comfortable with who I am now so it's easier for me to deal with those situations and I'm more likely to just shrug things off.

Once you kind of accept that not everyone's going to like you, you just kind of learn to deal with it.

 

[Foolery]

I just wanted to be part of the thread. Don't particularly give too much of a damn if someone doesn't like me, so long as they can behave themselves and be polite for the sake of civility or professionalism.

I think I cared more about that kind of thing when I used to let my anxiety get the better of me. I'm much more relaxed now.

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

Depends. If it's a stranger on the street I ask for directions or something, I'm not really going to give a shit. If it's my boss, of course it's going to be important, I don't want to ose my job.

I try to not give people reason to hate me, but neither will I specifically try to make people like me.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

It's a pretty important life skill to recognize how you come across to others, and to be able to moderate your behavior on occasions when it might be necessary to make a good impression. The opinions of others can also be a good form of feedback when engaging in self reflection. Despite the platitude that we are our own harshest critics, we're really not. Most people are quite expert at forgiving themselves everything and rationalizing their every action. We see ourselves as the protagonists of a wonderful story. That doesn't mean you need to take every drop of criticism to heart...some of it will just be pointless hostility (especially on the internet). But you should at least take a moment to consider it. I say "should"...I guess it depends on what kind of person you want to be. If you're happy being an oblivious asshole, then all forms of criticism will likely be water off a duck's back.

 

[Eamar]

Depends on the person.

If I like and respect them myself, then yes I'd care if they didn't like me.
If I don't like them, I don't care.

Simple.

One thing that would really bother me above all else would be if someone pretended to like me to my face, but actually disliked me. As far as I know, this hasn't happened to me, but I've seen others do it often (not in even in a malicious way): there'll be someone they really don't like and find deeply annoying, but they're also harmless, this person will attach themselves to someone or to a group and, not wanting to be rude and because the new guy hasn't actually done anything bad, the others go along with it for a bit. Next thing you know, the awkward/annoying person thinks they're all great friends, when in reality the others can't stand them.

That's something I go out of my way to avoid doing myself, and I can't imagine much worse than being the disliked one in that situation.

 

[krazykidd]

I want to say i wouldn't care. I really do. But i'd be lying. It's hard to not care. I want to be liked by everyone( or at least have them pretend the like me or at the very least neutral). The worst part is i know you can't please everyone, and yet i'm hardwired to try ( i blame my mom). It's so bad that i would try to please people i don't like.

Here's the irony. A lot of people do like me, but i don't know why. I am a terrible, terrible person. Not the " i'll spit in your face if you look at me wrong" terrible, but the " i'll try to seduce your girlfriend in front of you, then laugh at you when we go out for beers" kind of terrible( which has happened, and i'm still friends with the guy).I'm also honest about a lot of things most people would be ashamed of.

People, how do they work?

 

[Queen Michael]

Depends. People I like? It'd hurt. People I dislike? I'd be gratful that they reprocicated my feelings.

 

[Raikas]

It depends.

The people I need to interact with regularly I'd prefer to have them like me - not because of any delicate flower feelings, but because it's a pain to have to work on projects or run meetings with people who don't get along with you. If you can keep the office friction-free, all the better. I don't care if we're friends, but I think it's in everyone's best interest if we all feel reasonably positive about each other.

Same thing with neighbours - I'd like to be able to have the people next door know me well enough that if something happened when I was on vacation, or if my dog gets out, or whatever, I can count on them to at least let me know what happened.

People I'm going to interact with on a limited basis? I don't really care one way or the other. I try to keep it polite though, because why encourage anyone to dislike you even if you aren't going to see them after 10 minutes, y'know?

 

[Flutterguy]

Depends on a plethora of factors from respect for that person, my current mood, the situation, my sobriety, my health, etc. For the most part no. I've always dressed and acted however I felt, unless doing so puts my comfort or security at risk. I only really conform to something if I have substantial enough reasoning and evidence to convince me it is a better choice then my current path.

 

[EeveeElectro]

It all depends.
I've had people instantly take a great dislike to me for a number of stupid reasons before I even opened my mouth and spoke to them.
Those, I don't give a shit about. If you're shallow enough to judge someone so harshly without knowing them, I don't want you to like me anyway.

Those people who I've tried to be friends with and unknowingly done something to annoy them, that bothers me much more.

Also those people who act friendly and chatty then talk shit behind your back are dicks. If I don't like someone, I don't act like their friend. Why be two faced?

 

[ClockworkPenguin]

I generally want people to like me. I can deal with it if they don't, and I don't expect everyone to like me, after all there are people I dislike who haven't done anything wrong per se, I just don't get on with them.

I try to be aware of how others react to my behavior. I wouldn't ever want to antagonize or upset someone, whether through insensitivity or active dickishness, but if folk just don't like me, well it sucks but that's just how it is sometimes. If I have to spend time with them I'd be polite and try and get along anyway, otherwise I'd probably just avoid them and spend time with people who do like me. I like being liked, I'm vain like that.

Edit

It all depends.
I've had people instantly take a great dislike to me for a number of stupid reasons before I even opened my mouth and spoke to them.
Those, I don't give a shit about. If you're shallow enough to judge someone so harshly without knowing them, I don't want you to like me anyway.

Those people who I've tried to be friends with and unknowingly done something to annoy them, that bothers me much more.

Also those people who act friendly and chatty then talk shit behind your back are dicks. If I don't like someone, I don't act like their friend. Why be two faced?

Two facedness isn't always a bad thing. Hear me out. Sometimes your mates, who you like and respect and all, nevertheless piss you off at times. Not often enough or badly enough to have anything as drastic as a confrontation over, but still enough that you need to vent about it.

I don't know anyone who's shared accommodation who hasn't talked shit about their flatmates at some point. It doesn't mean you don't consider them friends or that you actually have negative feelings about them, but God Damn do they make you need to vent sometimes.

Similarly, even most people with great familial relationships still moan about their parents or siblings from time to time. Sometimes you need to have a good moan about people you love being stupid and annoying or stressful and you don't want to hurt them by doing it in their presence.

 

[Weaver]

This thread is kind of ambiguous. Would I care if everyone in the world disliked me? Yes.
Would I care if my parents disliked me? Of course.

Would I care if some commenter on the internet disliked me? No.

 

[MysticSlayer]

Depends on the situation and how many people we're talking about.

If everyone in the world disliked me, then of course I'd care that they disliked me. If close family members or friends suddenly decided that they disliked me and excluded me to the best of their ability, then of course I'd care. If my professors or boss disliked me, then I'd care and be nervous about my future.

In most other situations, though, I won't care one bit.

 

[Kolby Jack]

I suspect that many of my bosses don't like me much. While I generally follow orders and don't raise a fuss, I also don't do any work unless I'm given work to do and I NEVER seek work out. I mean, why would I? Working stinks. But most people of certain higher ranks in the military and I imagine civilian life as well value initiative and ambition, neither of which I have. So I probably won't go far in life, but lacking ambition, I never really cared to anyway. But yea, that part of my personality doesn't endear me to most, if not all, of my superiors.

Also, being an introvert, I don't really hang out with people often and I'm a bit awkward when socializing (though not nearly as much as I used to be). I don't think this causes anyone to dislike me, as I am usually pretty polite and try to be as kind as I can be, but I have a sneaking suspicion that some people think I'm one of those guys who is just going to go completely postal one day. Won't ever happen, believe me, but people can get certain perceptions.

 

[Scarim Coral]

The people who hate me tend to be the ones who I hate in the first place (some former roommate and the current manager) and probably some strangers aswell.

Granted there was one guy who I did like (it was back in Highschool and he was the lead drummer in our Highschool band) but for some reason hated me (he tend to "accidently" bump into me and hit my backpack hard) which I admit I did cared about but it was moreon the reason then to get his respect/ friendship.

 

[Kevlar Eater]

Get a few beers in me and I wouldn't care if my home town was nuked.

Joke aside, I don't really care if people don't like me. I ain't exactly a social butterfly, so it's not like anyone has heard my opinions on anything. If someone doesn't like one aspect of me or another, they know where they can shove their dislikes (unless the complaint about me is legitimate).

 

[Slitzkin]

Well I know for a fact there are numerous people out there that dislike me. Since I have little to no interaction with these people (for obvious reasons) it doesn't bother me. However if I were to have constant contact with someone who clearly felt disdain towards me, it would bother me. Not because they dislike me but more the fact that I had to constantly interact with someone that does.