Poll: Sexual Assault

[Fox12]

The 1/5 statistic is actually false and based on shoddy research methods. Real number is probably something from 1/10 to 1/7, not that it's necessarily much better but that's not even including a high prevalence of false reports. Including sexual violence, men are actually by far more likely to be the victims of violent crime in general than women, and I'd rather have my ass grabbed than punched in the face. Cherrypicking sexual violence is a propaganda tactic to arouse white knights and male protective instinct to the side of women. The majority of violence in society is committed against men, and no, I don't give a shit that your friend got catcalled or groped at a party because I've had to deal with false charges levelled out of spite and the system gives women the benefit of the doubt 95% of the time at least. It's a problem that a woman can say three words and get a man arrested with no proof, when our justice system is founded on the principle that it's better to let 100 criminals walk free than wrongly convict one innocent man.

I disagree, I would think the stat to be low balled and is probably much higher. Most girls I know that are raped DO NOT REPORT IT, we just try to help each other along as best we can as it is FAR WORSE to report it than to not report it. You have to be willing to ruin your life, move, give up many things you enjoy and most are not willing to let one rapist take that from them just to report them. You make a choice, do you let the rapist take that moment from you and forget about it? Or do you let them ruin your life as well just for the possibility of him not even being convicted after a smear campaign against you? I do not know many willing at all to do the latter.

It is extremely hard to convict a rapist and honestly not worth it to try. Why do you think they do it in the first place?

" cherrypicking?" Women an girls fear rape because of what we live with, not from what the media has to say about it.

I suggest you go out and ask actual women and girls you know about this subject to just gage how it has affected the women where you live and to gain a better understanding of the subject.

I see many people here talking about their own personal experiences, not spouting off propaganda.. except for you right there. We can talk about the media this and that all day long, that doesn't change what is actually happening to us.

If you care about fighting rape, actually fight it instead of the idiotic doublethink of refusing to admit it happens while trying to call awareness to it. Join the police or become a detective, or even just carry a Glock in your purse. From the male point of view it's honestly hard to understand why you wouldn't report and try to fight your victimizer even when we recognize cognitively the ideas of shame and guilt, etc. It makes the event seem more trivial to us than less. And if rape is the lived reality of women, violence is the lived reality of men. We're not whining about it and we shouldn't be. Neither you or the media should be complaining about rape as much as you do. Refusing to report to the authorities and then being louder than the victims of any other crime on media platforms comes off as disingenuous to the male mind. Rape was actually taken more seriously when it wasn't being played as the victim card all the time, when women didn't publically cry wolf over sex-regret.

Don't want to live in fear? Carry a pistol.

What you've essentialy done is blame the victim. Most women don't report this issue at all. My friend DID try to fight it, and she suffered for it. There was a massive smear campaign against her, as her rapist was a popular athlete with perfect grades, and was class president. His friends, in particular, called her a liar, and she was labelled a slut by the student body. On top of that she suffered from flashbacks and night terrors. Her parents didn't know at first, and couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. When the school found out they took her into a room and told her that, if she went public, they would make sure no college would accept her. This was bull, of course, but for a lonely 16 year old dealing with PTSD it's frightening. She eventually dropped the whole deal because of intimidation. Even if a girl reports the scandal, it's a Pyrrhic victory at best, because she's going to have to deal with the defense questioning her moral character in terms of sexuality and honesty. Many are scared to let their families know as well. They're either treated like a victim or a slut, and no one wants that. And as for men not understanding? I have to disagree. Male rape victims may be even LESS likely to reveal what happened, because they feel that it destroys their masculinity, as well as making them a victim I'm the eyes of others.

The fact is that women shouldn't have to carry a glock to feel protected, especially in a country where gun ownership is increasingly controversial, and use of a gun, even in self defense, can lead to years of civil proceedings. I would always urge a victim to inform the authorities, but I can understand why they wouldn't. They just want the world to return to normal, both men and women.

Also, lets keep this civil, as I can already see this potentially getting too heated.

 

[Verlander]

Yes. Violence is far more often directed towards men (by both men and women) in public, especially when alcohol is involved. Had I been a woman in the same situations, I would have far more likely walked away from these situations. Similarly, where it's commonly known that groping a woman is a very bad idea (prepare for violence if you do), groping men is fairly common by drunk women, and complaining about it ends in ridicule by other men, and often violence from the women you reject.

These experiences do not change the fact that women have to put up with far too much abuse though. Humans as a species are abusive.

 

[Rahkshi500]

Yes. One time someone threatened to call the police on me due to assumptions that I was some kind of predator or had ulterior motives for helping out some people before, even though there was no context of any kind that warranted it. Likewise, some of my female co-workers at my job have been reported of either being stalked before or faced physical or emotional abuse. The best I could've done was offer any kind of support or comfort for them, though I sometimes wish that I could've done more.

 

[sageoftruth]

Nah. When you're 6' 4" the world around you tends to look a lot less scary. There were times when I've felt endangered, but I've never felt like I couldn't defend myself against the dangers out there.

 

[JoJo]

If we're going strictly by the letter of the law, I've been sexually assaulted several times in clubs by women attempting to grope me or in one case thrusting my face into her breasts without any sort of warning or attempt to gain consent. I didn't feel threatened or assaulted though, I just either gently pushed them away with a 'no thanks' or went along with it, depending on how on how I felt. I can see why other people might feel differently though, being a man I'm not scared of a woman dragging me away if I say no or anything.

 

[razer17]

I have been sexually harrased or assaulted twice from what I remember, as a male. One was just a creepy older dude staring at me at a urinal, and then going into a cubicle once I was finished. That was weird.

Second time this lady came up to me in a pub and starting putting her hands on my legs and stuff. She was old enough to be my mum, and a bit mental. She eventually buggered off and we laughed about it, but I reckon if that had been a man hitting on a girl like that it would have been very different end results.

 

[CrystalShadow]

I don't go out much these days as a whole.

But I find people honking their car horns at me a lot.
And I've been followed around by creepy guys, gone through what can sort of be called 'date rape' - (not strictly speaking someone I ever went on a date with, but it fits that description better than anything else), groped, forcibly kissed, hugged by some random person (who wouldn't let go)

Being followed home by someone was probably the worst, overall... (Which might surprise you considering the whole rape thing).

Mainly because having someone who follows you around wherever you go, even after you've tried to make it clear to them you don't like it, is not particularly someone you want knowing where you live...

And then there's the stories my mother has, which... Are really pretty disturbing...

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

This is something i believe necessary to discuss. A couple of close members of family have suffered these experiences...as far as they would admit. Who knows what else other members i dont speak to much, have experienced. Plus whether im told everything or not. However i did use to hang with some manipulative predatory males when young and stupid and boy, it really fckin disgusts me how they are so willing to deceive to get what they want. Also i grew up with bad male impressions around in general, so you could say im cautious around my own gender at least. It seems that all it takes is just that one thing that makes us care and empathise for others, to be overshadowed by the lustfull selfish side. Its a problem whether you admit it or not.

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

This is something i believe necessary to discuss. A couple of close members of family have suffered these experiences...as far as they would admit. Who knows what else other members i dont speak to much, have experienced. Plus whether im told everything or not. However i did use to hang with some manipulative predatory males when young and stupid and boy, it really fckin disgusts me how they are so willing to deceive to get what they want. Also i grew up with bad male impressions around in general, so you could say im cautious around my own gender at least. It seems that all it takes is just that one thing that makes us care and empathise for others, to be overshadowed by the lustfull selfish side. Its a problem whether you admit it or not.

 

[Thaluikhain]

What do you think lays the foundation for rape culture? The rate of rape you have described in your society is so alien to me, even having talked with loads of girls/women about this stuff here.

In large part, it's because people don't see it as a problem under the conditions it's most likely to happen. The last US state to make marital rape a crime did so in 1993. Up until then, it was assumed that the woman did (or ought to) consent to sex with her husband, just because they were married. This attitude hasn't fully gone away. It's not seen as "legitimate rape" if they were married, or in a relationship, or had been, or he buys her a drink, or any number of other things which people still believe entitles him to sex.

The common view of rape is when a virtuous and sober women (one of Us) is attacked in a dark alley by some scary guy, preferably a minority (one of Them). This is only the case for a very small amount of rapes. If it doesn't fit this limited narrative, it doesn't count. It's very important that the rapist isn't like us, because we are good people who don't do that.

 

[Ikaruga33]

Can I just point out the problem with using a poll on a site like this?
I'm presuming that the majority of users on this site are male, like most gaming websites.
Hence, results are going to inevitably be skewed towards men, just because we make up the majority of people who are taking the poll.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

Can I just point out the problem with using a poll on a site like this?
I'm presuming that the majority of users on this site are male, like most gaming websites.
Hence, results are going to inevitably be skewed towards men, just because we make up the majority of people who are taking the poll.

In what way is it skewed? You just separate the male and females and then compare the ratios. However, the most disturbing thing in this poll, is that about HALF of the men have felt threatened, but then the extremely terrifying thing is when you look at how the vast majority of females have been. Out of the the 30 women who responded thus far, only 6 have never felt threatened due to their gender.

 

[OurGloriousLeader]

The 1/5 statistic is actually false and based on shoddy research methods. Real number is probably something from 1/10 to 1/7, not that it's necessarily much better but that's not even including a high prevalence of false reports.

There's no compelling evidence that there is a 'high prevalence of false reports' in sexual crimes, unless you use different criteria for shoddy research for that. It's a compelling myth that men like to believe women lie about it - guess it's more comforting.

 

[lunavixen]

This can include groping, manhandling, and more serious crimes, especially in colleges, where such crimes often go unreported.

I often see this 'often unreported' line, to which I always have the same questions. According to who? How do they know? How can anyone know how much of anything goes unreported?

Rape and sexual assault/indecent assault ARE under reported crimes, mostly because people feel ashamed or afraid to report what's happened to them, especially in smaller communities where people are closer knit. Rape isn't about sex, it's about power, the power that the rapist gets over the victim. I'm one of the luckier ones who've only had minor incidences involving indecent assault, groping and catcalls mostly.

Don't want to live in fear? Carry a pistol.

And what of those people in countries where carrying a firearm in public is illegal?

 

[Lilani]

Join the police or become a detective, or even just carry a Glock in your purse.

Of course, I forgot, people who are the victims of crime are to blame for not being part of law enforcement. Obviously any rich businessperson who gets mugged in the street is to blame for being a businessperson instead of a police officer. People shouldn't choose careers based on what they enjoy most or what they're best at, after all. That's just stupid. And people who can't join law enforcement due to physical or health deficiencies? Fair game.

 

[Megalodon]

This can include groping, manhandling, and more serious crimes, especially in colleges, where such crimes often go unreported.

I often see this 'often unreported' line, to which I always have the same questions. According to who? How do they know? How can anyone know how much of anything goes unreported?

Rape and sexual assault/indecent assault ARE under reported crimes, mostly because people feel ashamed or afraid to report what's happened to them, especially in smaller communities where people are closer knit.

If we want to be literal, then all crimes are probably under reported, as it only takes a single instance of someone not reporting a crime for it be 'under reported', and I'd be surprised if 100% of any crime gets reported to authorities. What you haven't shown is that rape and sexual assault are often unreported. You asserting that they ARE under reported does not offer any insight into the degree of under reporting, which would have to be very large to justify the fuss being made about it.

So my questions stand. Who claims these crimes are 'often unreported'? How do they know? How do you prove how much of anything goes unreported?

 

[Itdoesthatsometimes]

This can include groping, manhandling, and more serious crimes, especially in colleges, where such crimes often go unreported.

I often see this 'often unreported' line, to which I always have the same questions. According to who? How do they know? How can anyone know how much of anything goes unreported?

Rape and sexual assault/indecent assault ARE under reported crimes, mostly because people feel ashamed or afraid to report what's happened to them, especially in smaller communities where people are closer knit.

If we want to be literal, then all crimes are probably under reported, as it only takes a single instance of someone not reporting a crime for it be 'under reported', and I'd be surprised if 100% of any crime gets reported to authorities. What you haven't shown is that rape and sexual assault are often unreported. You asserting that they ARE under reported does not offer any insight into the degree of under reporting, which would have to be very large to justify the fuss being made about it.

So my questions stand. Who claims these crimes are 'often unreported'? How do they know? How do you prove how much of anything goes unreported?

You do understand the concept of people talking to other people right? I know four women who have been raped at least once for a fact. I have known six other women who have told me that they have been raped and I had no reason to suspect they were not telling the truth. Not one of those women reported being raped. These are just the people that have specifically told me. So to answer How people know they are often unreported. People talk to other people. Like in this thread where multiple women have said that they have been raped. I don't know if any of those times were reported, but I am assuming they were not.

You see people know and talk to other people, that is why people know rape is often not reported. Twelve instances of rape of women I have known to zero reported. And you can add that to the women one this thread.

Not included among those ten women I have known, was another woman who's stories of rape were hard to believe. I can not know if they were fabricated, just that they were the only stories that came from someone who's word comes into question. Two of her stories involved policemen being the rapists, her last story did not. She also did not report her three times.

It is shitty of me to not take that woman at her word, that is something she would have to go through when reporting her case. If you were going to report a gang rape by policemen and your character is questionable by people you know, it is understandable that you would not bother reporting that.

If you chose to include that woman then that makes fifteen times from eleven women I have known being raped, and zero reported.

Edit: Actually it is over fifteen times one of the women I was talking about had been raped continually from her step-father. The amount of times actually becomes impossible to know. And technically she did tell her mom, her mom just chose to ignore it.

You also have to take sex slaves into account. You are right there is no way to know the exact number of rape that goes unreported. It is stupid to believe it does not vastly out number the ones that do get reported.

Not related to above quote:
Having a gun was not an option for most of these women, would not have helped in most of these situations, and probably have gotten one of them killed if she had one.

 

[LetalisK]

Yes, it's part of my job. The inmates, while more than happy to mentally mess with my female counterparts, they're far less likely to strike them since at least half of the other inmates would lose their minds and curb stomp them out a strange sense of traditionalism. Even the most unbearable female has to really push it in order to get on the "Might get blasted in the face" list. Conversely, being The Man in both gender and social relationship, blasting me in the face is a badge of honor, so I have to constantly watch my back.

Also, from what I hear, the Women's block is notorious for their gross sexual harassment of male employees. Thankfully, they don't really allow men to work the Women's block besides helping out because of some of the...interesting circumstances in that block.