apologise for adding criteria to something which many people view as a matter of self-identification. And I'm not saying that 'identifying' as bi isn't enough. Trust me, as a bi guy who has copped more abuse from gay guys (both aimed at me, and aimed at the women I've slept with on occasion, 'how on earth could you bring yourself to sleep with women! They're moronic/repulsive/lack genitalia/slaves to hormones/permanently angry - I've heard it all by now. And then there's the 'breeder' comments and the accusations of 'living under heterosexual privilege', and 'I bet you're just bisexual when it suits you', 'are you still bi when a bunch of rednecks are around'? And then there's the homophobia that I cop every bit as much as straight guys - because to a homophobe there's no distinction - if you've had gay sex EVER than you're gay and a 'legitimate' target.
So yes, I understand there is much to be said for allowing people to be whoever they identify us. But I've gone against that and added restrictions to this poll. Firstly, it's for the sake of clarity - these terms can mean different things to different people. Secondly, it isn't an instrusion into people's private lives - if the definition given doesn't meet their personal identification it doesn't in any way hinder their using that defintion in their own lives.
But some of these distinctions are 'interesting'. Despite the views of homophobes, most users of gay 'beats' (casual sex spots for gay males) identify as straight guys 'experimenting' with gay sex - as the younger generation of gay lobby leaders are very quick to point out (they don't see them as being within their remit of people whose duty it is to help lobby on behalf of and protect). And at uni we've all known people who call themselves bi but act straight all the way up to the point that they just give up and identify as straight. I hate to be sexist about this, but almost all I've met are female due to lesbianism amongst young pretty females being viewed as 'fashionably sexy' while gay male sex is still frowned upon. I've known bi females freak out when discovering that theiy boyfriend is also bi (specifically, finding out we had a sexual relationship once) because (and I quote) 'sex between girls is hot, sex between guys is disgusting'. And then there's my own experience of a girlfriend who was all so pro-gay and had SO many gay friends who she just 'LOVED going shipping with', who freaked out to tears, vomitted in disgust, and (needless to say) dumped me when I told her a couple of weeks in (I figured it was a safe time given she was so gay-friendly, I'd never have dated her if I thought she'd be a closet homophobe) that I was bi and my last relationship was with a guy. I just can't imagine a girl running into the same problem telling her newish non-homophobic boyfriend she was bi.
So I've put rules down there. You need to have actually acted upon it, not just state it. It's a poll that is horribly biased against school-kids - I know full well how long the gap can be between accepting your attraction and having the courage to acting upon it. Probably best that schoolies don't take the poll - I had to choose between writing with accurate categories and extending it to you, so this time around I've excluded you. Maybe someone can do one soon that does a better job at including you. My genuine apologies.
Now by 'sex' I'm not talking full-on sex. Not requiring anal sex for gay guys - which would be stupid as about a third of gay guys don't do anal sex anyway, and plenty find it repulsive. For both genders, it includes oral sex, hand-sex and any kind of 'heavy petting' - anything that you'd need the privacy of a bedroom or similar, rather than just a kiss that you could do at a bar. So it's much much broader than what you'd usually mean by sex. Do you get my point now? I'm including even just an intent to do that kind of stuff. All I'm excluding is someone who just does a kiss at a bar.
Straight but 'experiments' is similar wide. It could be one of those guys who has a wife and kids, calls himself straight, but goes to gay beats for anonymous sex. Or it could be someone who is straight but wants to or has given gay sex a go on a 'you got to do everything once' idea.
Uncertain is hard to explain, but if it applies to you then you'll know it. Same with folks who are Asexual. If you ARE asexual - with no, or almost no, interest in sex you aren't alone. Don't feel like there's something wrong with you - there isn't. Some girls can become 'asexual' through trauma, and there are certain psychological and medical conditions that make sex so painful for a girl that she psychologically loses interest in it. I'd exclude people in that situation (the pain, not the trauma - there's nothing wrong with you for becoming asexual under those circumstances). Just keep in mind that when you get older you'll realise that there are lots of people like you, and you don't need to fake interest in sex to have a fulfilling life. In fact DON'T fake interest in sex - if you're asexual the most cruel thing you could do to yourself and a loved one is to pretend you are interested in sex for the sake of a relationship. Sooner or later he or she (there's plenty of male asexuals) will see through it and be utterly shattered. Just be honest, friendships don't have to become sexual relationships to be close and emotionally meaningful - and you can have plenty of those during your life.
So anyway, I'm curious. Fire away with the the poll answers
So yes, I understand there is much to be said for allowing people to be whoever they identify us. But I've gone against that and added restrictions to this poll. Firstly, it's for the sake of clarity - these terms can mean different things to different people. Secondly, it isn't an instrusion into people's private lives - if the definition given doesn't meet their personal identification it doesn't in any way hinder their using that defintion in their own lives.
But some of these distinctions are 'interesting'. Despite the views of homophobes, most users of gay 'beats' (casual sex spots for gay males) identify as straight guys 'experimenting' with gay sex - as the younger generation of gay lobby leaders are very quick to point out (they don't see them as being within their remit of people whose duty it is to help lobby on behalf of and protect). And at uni we've all known people who call themselves bi but act straight all the way up to the point that they just give up and identify as straight. I hate to be sexist about this, but almost all I've met are female due to lesbianism amongst young pretty females being viewed as 'fashionably sexy' while gay male sex is still frowned upon. I've known bi females freak out when discovering that theiy boyfriend is also bi (specifically, finding out we had a sexual relationship once) because (and I quote) 'sex between girls is hot, sex between guys is disgusting'. And then there's my own experience of a girlfriend who was all so pro-gay and had SO many gay friends who she just 'LOVED going shipping with', who freaked out to tears, vomitted in disgust, and (needless to say) dumped me when I told her a couple of weeks in (I figured it was a safe time given she was so gay-friendly, I'd never have dated her if I thought she'd be a closet homophobe) that I was bi and my last relationship was with a guy. I just can't imagine a girl running into the same problem telling her newish non-homophobic boyfriend she was bi.
So I've put rules down there. You need to have actually acted upon it, not just state it. It's a poll that is horribly biased against school-kids - I know full well how long the gap can be between accepting your attraction and having the courage to acting upon it. Probably best that schoolies don't take the poll - I had to choose between writing with accurate categories and extending it to you, so this time around I've excluded you. Maybe someone can do one soon that does a better job at including you. My genuine apologies.
Now by 'sex' I'm not talking full-on sex. Not requiring anal sex for gay guys - which would be stupid as about a third of gay guys don't do anal sex anyway, and plenty find it repulsive. For both genders, it includes oral sex, hand-sex and any kind of 'heavy petting' - anything that you'd need the privacy of a bedroom or similar, rather than just a kiss that you could do at a bar. So it's much much broader than what you'd usually mean by sex. Do you get my point now? I'm including even just an intent to do that kind of stuff. All I'm excluding is someone who just does a kiss at a bar.
Straight but 'experiments' is similar wide. It could be one of those guys who has a wife and kids, calls himself straight, but goes to gay beats for anonymous sex. Or it could be someone who is straight but wants to or has given gay sex a go on a 'you got to do everything once' idea.
Uncertain is hard to explain, but if it applies to you then you'll know it. Same with folks who are Asexual. If you ARE asexual - with no, or almost no, interest in sex you aren't alone. Don't feel like there's something wrong with you - there isn't. Some girls can become 'asexual' through trauma, and there are certain psychological and medical conditions that make sex so painful for a girl that she psychologically loses interest in it. I'd exclude people in that situation (the pain, not the trauma - there's nothing wrong with you for becoming asexual under those circumstances). Just keep in mind that when you get older you'll realise that there are lots of people like you, and you don't need to fake interest in sex to have a fulfilling life. In fact DON'T fake interest in sex - if you're asexual the most cruel thing you could do to yourself and a loved one is to pretend you are interested in sex for the sake of a relationship. Sooner or later he or she (there's plenty of male asexuals) will see through it and be utterly shattered. Just be honest, friendships don't have to become sexual relationships to be close and emotionally meaningful - and you can have plenty of those during your life.
So anyway, I'm curious. Fire away with the the poll answers
