Poll: Sexy convention costumes - okay to stare?

[Lieju]

First of all, dressing up in a costume doesn't mean the cosplayer dressed this way for YOU.
They might just want the attention of people who are fans of the same thing and can actually appreciate the work that went into it, and not some fake geek boys who don't care on which run of Wonderwoman you based your costume on, they just care about your butt.

(And whether how attractive you are.)

But when I cosplay, I'd prefer no-one paid any attention to me, believe it or not. I just wanna walk in public in a costume and pretend I'm a wizard or something.

Obviously I acknowledge people will look, but don't stare in a way that makes you look like a creep.

 

[DANEgerous]

Honestly this is one of the things I just never got, I mean yes people take it to far I understand that part but you went in to a highly public place that likely has cameras both of professional television media and armature media and the public and security. You have a right to privacy, but not here. It is literally the point of a convention to gain publicity and yes for all participating not just the panels you want to see.

If I was to go to Comic-Con in intentionally protective attire I would expect at least 500 pictures of me taken without my consent even being considered. This is not to say I think I am good enough to turn head and draw crowds it just means I am surround by about 50,000 people and intentionally drawing attention to myself.

 

[Skull Bearer]

Nope, your mother was seriously rude. People dress up for themselves, not necessarily for others. If you can't maintain some self control, don't go outside.

Dressing up for themselves or not, it draws the attention of other people anyway, also I'm guessing more than half the girls who dress up at conventions are OK with having photos taken, and if they didn't want the attention they wouldn't want photos.

Yes, but that's because people ask before taking photos. It's polite, which staring isn't.

 

[Mikeyfell]

Staring is rude. Ask for a picture.
They put a lot of effort into making their costumes so they will say yes, unless they're in a hurry, in which case go ahead ans stare they won't notice.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

It's not really ok to stare at anyone, most of the time. However I think it would be ridiculous for someone wearing a needlessly sexy costume (Pikachu does not need to be sexy. It's just weird) to be annoyed at someone stealing a glance. There's a fine line though, if it's a faithful replica then I can understand there are reasons for it beyond 'look at my boobies! LOOK AT THEM'.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Honestly if you really want to ogle that much, take a photo. It will last longer!

Also no I am not generalizing that anyone who take photo of sexy cosplayers are pervent seeing how I have taken a few sexy cosplay photos in the past.

Anyway I think it's somewhat ok to stare but not for too long, more like a few seconds is acceptable (don't asked me about constantly looking away and back at the cosplayers, that's your own discretion).

 

[Vivi22]

Would you stare at women wearing bikini's at the beach? No? There's your answer.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

It's a convention for showing off costumes, shouldn't you be able to look at them as much as you want?

 

[mecegirl]

It's a convention for showing off costumes, shouldn't you be able to look at them as much as you want?

No. Its a convention, and some people choose to attend in costume. Not a convention specifically for showing off costumes. So people can't look as much as they want as if that's the point of the convention.

 

[And Man]

I'd say to avoid obvious staring, and to definitely not ogle. I personally don't really see anything wrong with watching someone walk by from a distance. Each cosplayer has different feelings towards the kinds and amount of attention they want or get, though. And unless it's from a decent distance, then staring, and even just looking, is noticeable, so don't be a creep and make it super obvious; I attend conventions fairly frequently, and I'm pretty muscular and have a shirtless cosplay (Akihiko Sanada from Persona 4 Arena), so I get some stares and turn some heads, and even just a quick look from a passerby can be pretty noticeable to me. As far as comments or compliments go, compliment how the costume looks, not how the person looks. I'd say that most people appreciate when you compliment their craftsmanship, but just complimenting a person's looks can be pretty creepy. I've had people approach me and make/give both appropriate and inappropriate comments/compliments, and the inappropriate ones really created an uncomfortable or awkward situation. I'm really easy-going, so I (usually) don't mind the attention and am often flattered by it, but I don't speak for everyone, so what I don't mind might make other people uncomfortable.

Edit: Also, I don't feel I should have to say this, but don't follow people. It's really creepy and unsettling.

 

[Blow_Pop]

Is staring okay?
No, not particuarly.

Look, it should be easy to tell the difference between having a look at someone and ogling them to the point where they notice and start to feel uncomfortable.

If you do the latter and try to justify it to yourself by making the "she was wearing a sexy costume, it's what she wanted me to do" argument, then I feel a little sorry for you.

I agree with this and most of the similar sentiments. That said I have stared for prolonged intervals at cosplayers but my staring has been more the costume itself and trying to figure out how to make it and usually winds up with me going up to them and starting up a discussion about the costume and how it was made and the materials used and shit (which I admit the staring while trying to figure out the costume is probably creepy in itself sometimes I really can't help it because the costume's so well done it just stops me). However, that said, it's not just the "sexy" costumes I do that with. I do it with any costume that catches my eye for more than 2-3 passing seconds.


I also slightly agree with the person who said to ask them to take a photo and then do what you want in private with said photo. With the addendum of don't upload it to the internet and just talk about how sexy (insert body part) is and how you just wanted the photo for that. In fact, with taking the picture I'd also ask the cosplayer if it's alright to upload the photo to the internet because some people don't want their photos online if they can help it. But it's still kind of a little creepy to think about someone asking for a cosplayers photo just so they can stare at their "sexy bits" later on

 

[Jacco]

Threads like these make me sad.

If someone is dressed in a sexy way, they obviously want you to look at them. There's no other reason for it. They are showing off. So why does it matter if someone stares or glances? It doesn't.

This is one thing that really just irks me. Girls expect guys to approach them for any kind of interaction. But if that guy doesn't meet their standards, it is creepy. Same thing applies here. Not one of those women would have a goddamn problem if Brad Pitt was staring at them creepily. But apparently it is a issue when it is an average or below average looking "geek" guy.

 

[Skull Bearer]

Threads like these make me sad.

If someone is dressed in a sexy way, they obviously want you to look at them. There's no other reason for it. They are showing off. So why does it matter if someone stares or glances? It doesn't.

This is one thing that really just irks me. Girls expect guys to approach them for any kind of interaction. But if that guy doesn't meet their standards, it is creepy. Same thing applies here. Not one of those women would have a goddamn problem if Brad Pitt was staring at them creepily. But apparently it is a issue when it is an average or below average looking "geek" guy.

If someone is dressed sexily it's because they wanted to. They could be dressing to get in role, to please a romantic partner, or just for themselves. People's lives do not revolve around your dick, Jacco.

And yes, sorry there, but women DO get to decide if you're making them uncomfortable. And trust me, pissing and whining about it just makes you creepier.

 

[Schadrach]

Why is this even a question? We all know the worst thing you can do to a woman that is, dressed up in an attractive manner, posing in an attractive way, and is herself attractive, is to call her attractive. And or look at her. What is this the 1950?

oh sure it sounds perfectly innocent when you say it like that

"I'm entitled to staring and oggling you because youre dressed like that" doesn't sound so nice...

As opposed to "I demand you avert your eyes when I am present, because I am entitled to control your field of view when I am in public."

It's not hard to make most things sound terribly entitled.

Personally, if you are in a public space, you have given up any right not to be looked at. Full stop, regardless of who you are or how you might be dressed. You also are not obligated to interact with anyone else in public in most ways or in most cases, nor are they in general obligated to interact with you.

Amusingly if I recall you were one of those folks who feels that eavesdropping on a private conversation, then publicizing it in an attempt to get the persons in said conversation punished was a reasonable and justifiable situation (you know, donglegate). Which would make eavesdropping to call for punishment should you be offended what others are saying good, but looking at someone on display in a public place because, well, you like looking at them a problem?

 

[And Man]

In fact, with taking the picture I'd also ask the cosplayer if it's alright to upload the photo to the internet because some people don't want their photos online if they can help it.

I agree with most of your post, but I feel this is a bit unnecessary. I'm always under the assumption that photos taken of me in cosplay are going to end up online, so I imagine that most other people assume that too. I find that most people that take a lot of pictures will dump all of them in an album and post it to the convention's Facebook page. I actually enjoy searching through albums a couple days after a convention to try and find photos of me and my friends.

 

[mrdude2010]

It's okay to check it out, it's not okay to stare. Make eye contact if you're talking to them, maintain personal space, etc. It's not exactly difficult to avoid being a complete ponce.

 

[Blow_Pop]

In fact, with taking the picture I'd also ask the cosplayer if it's alright to upload the photo to the internet because some people don't want their photos online if they can help it.

I agree with most of your post, but I feel this is a bit unnecessary. I'm always under the assumption that photos taken of me in cosplay are going to end up online, so I imagine that most other people assume that too. I find that most people that take a lot of pictures will dump all of them in an album and post it to the convention's Facebook page. I actually enjoy searching through albums a couple days after a convention to try and find photos of me and my friends.

I've met cosplayers that have asked for their photos taken down. Some people really don't want their photos online for various reasons. So while you may find it unnecessary others might not. It just winds up depending on the particular person really.

 

[And Man]

I've met cosplayers that have asked for their photos taken down. Some people really don't want their photos online for various reasons. So while you may find it unnecessary others might not. It just winds up depending on the particular person really.

Alright, fair enough.

Edit: Now that I stop and think back, I didn't really want to be tagged in any photos from my first convention or two because I was unsure of what "regular" people would think about my going to conventions and cosplaying, so I was a bit embarrassed about it. Thankfully, I've completely gotten over that. But yeah, point taken.

 

[Candidus]

If someone has their boobs or backside out and you want to look at them, look at them. Look for as long as you want. I do.

In the common space outside of our homes, none of us has any right to control who looks at us or how they look at us. The only way we can influence those things is by wearing more, wearing less, or wearing something unusual.

As for whether it's rude or not, I don't pay that shit any mind. In a hundred years, nobody is going to remember that I stared a long time at your bethonged behind. That, and what happens to my reputation among people I don't know just doesn't matter to me.

That's it.

 

[ForumSafari]

Isn't public attention the point of a costume? Additionally isn't the point of sexy clothing to titillate? It sounds almost as if anyone who doesn't want people looking at them when they're in fancy lingerie that was in a film #59385 has kind of missed the point.

Standard rules apply, look all you want but try not to get noticed and if you do knock it off if they look uncomfortable.