Poll: Sexy convention costumes - okay to stare?

[Strazdas]

Again, "looked at." Maybe you just don't know the nuances of the language you're using, but "looked at" does not imply "stared at by a mass of creepy men for a large amount of time."

You are correct that it does not imply that. so why do you continually use this as some sort of argument against what i said?

So you don't think being stared at by a group of people for a prolonged period of time might make you uncomfortable or creep you out? Even a little bit?

I think it is possible that it could make me feel unconfrotable. I know i feel unconfortable when a group of polish youth is following me at night speaking polish about me thinking i dont understand what they are saying. (i use polish as an example because this has actually happened, not that polish is worse than anyone else).
That, however, is my problem, not theirs. they are not doing anything wrong by looking at me or talking about me, even in language i supposedly dont understand.

Being unconfortable is not really a factor worth considering when it comes to human rights. its as useful as somone being "offended". its emotional subjective feeling that will not help us find objective solution. I will warry greatly from person to person too. like i said before, if your post here made me feel unconfrotable it does not mean you done anything wrong by replying to me. and people get unconfortable for all kinds of things.

If you can't tell the difference between staring and looking, you lack the social skills necessary to attend gatherings of people. Or, if you want some shorthand rules, read through this entire thread instead of going "everyone wants to ban looking at people because they're dumb and women are dumb. I KNOW WHAT WOMEN WANT!"

I never said that i know what they want or that they are dumb. im not a mindreader. what i said is that people, regardless of thier sex, do get confused on what they want and act out one way while claiming otherwise. whether that is intentional or not i cannot tell.

There is no difference between staring and looking. staring is an act of looking. Also as been noted the time needed of looking for it to be considered staring is highly individual measure and thus is hardly objective.

Also i wouldnt say that 9 pages is "Shorthand".

and the battery in my monitor

What kind of monitor uses batteries?

 

[Artaneius]

I honestly can't believe over half of these responses. What is the point of cosplay if others can't bother looking at you past three seconds or you become a stalker? I thought the whole point of cosplay was to show off the costume and character your trying to portray. You certainly can't do that especially if your the opposite sex if they can't look at you past 3 seconds because the'll get labeled as a potential stalker. You can't truly appreciate the costume unless you do get a great look at it. I can definitely tell between a good costume and a bad costume if I'm able to get an actual look. I can definitely tell who put their heart and soul into the costume and who just quickly made it with barely any thought if I also get a good look.

 

[TheSpyIsASpyWDZ]

Oh how grand, not only do you not put things into perspective, but you don't even practice what you preach. How delightful! Do tell me, what is the point of replying to me, if you have no intent to read the whole thing?

Some sir, might very easily, and rightly call that rude. Am I not correct?

Weren't you the one speaking about if someone is directly rude to you, you make it a point to highlight it as loud as possible?

Shall I practice as you preach sir?

Please stop quoting me, the battery in my keyboard is tired, and the battery in my monitor is struggling to light up that little yellow envelop in the top-right corner. Honestly, I find your viewpoint so alien and irrational that I see no point in going further. You want to stare at pretty people who don't want you to stare at them? Got it. I just think it's out of order.

You find my outlook alien, yet don't see the ridiculousness of your own outlook?

I never once claimed through this entire thread that I even stare at people, I only said that I have the right, and I find it ridiculous people are willing to go to such extremes as to take enough offense to it, as to say, as you put it, call it out on the spot.

I have not seen one incident of a person doing that, where the people around didn't look at the person making the outburst as if they were a complete and total idiot. Would you go yell at all of them to for staring at you because they thought you were acting out of place and possibly stupid?

This outlook like we must correct this social injustice is so foreign to me to see in an online context, not because I don't agree with you that it is rude to do.

But because if people acted like you claimed you would act like if someone dared to be rude to you, most of the population would think you were utterly insane and crazy.

So when I see the people, in these forums, acting like this is some terrible horrible thing, not only do these things you all claim to take such offense to, happen so rarely in the real world that it is hardly worth mentioning. But if every person acted like you all seem to portray you would act like in public if someone dared to hurt your fine sensibilities and morals, I would think you utterly insane and not give two shits about the supposed evil starer.

As for gropers? I've seen a groper punched and floored in the real world. Somehow I don't think the world is as bad as you all want to believe it is.

One terrible story does not a million terrible occurrences of that same story make.

Hey man, even though I'm sure you don't need me to say it, I've been lurking through this thread and you are the most rational person here I think.

The kind of vibe I've got this entire thread is that it's okay to stare at women as long as you don't make them feel uncomfortable, and as such, the answer obviously is if you want to stare at women ad infinitum just wear sun glasses so they don't feel uncomfortable. I mean, some people are saying that there's a line here for when you go from simple admiration to being a creep but this "line" is not consistent in any way shape or form and is completely subjective. I think it's a sad world we live in if people think that being stared at to the point of being uncomfortable should be a crime. It's all in the staree's damn head anyway, nothing physically tangible happens when they're being stared at, so what exactly is that fucking bad?

 

[Vegosiux]

And yes, if some has been directly rude to me, I make a point of highlighting that fact as loudly as possible.

If someone is directly rude to me, I will first try to reason with them one on one, without making it a scene. And if that doesn't work I'll take it up with whoever's responsible for order and security at the event.

Because making a scene, and "highlighting the fact as loudly as possible" does make a scene, is going to drag people who are just minding their own business and have no obligation to have my personal issues shoved on them into the scene. I'd be disrupting the enjoyment of other people who are completely unrelated to the score I have to settle between myself and that one rude person.

Making a scene, shoving my issues onto everyone present? That is rude.

 

[thehorror2]

It's ok to look, even ogle, but the mistake a lot of "creepy" con guys (and girls, lest we forget. Rising gender equality means we'll likely see more women and gay male geeks ogling cosplayers of both sexes; just a matter of numbers) make is that they just STARE. You have to engage the person whose costume/appearance you admire. I know it's hard, but try to strike a conversation or SOMETHING. At least tell the person "nice job" and/or ask for a photo so they know it's not just their cleavage/chiseled abs you appreciate.

 

[Thyunda]

It's okay to look...just don't be so creepy about it and don't make such a big fuckin deal. Go up to them, check them out, give 'em a thumbs up, whatever the hell you want. They know how they look. They know you like it. Don't pretend otherwise.
But for christ's sake, engage with them. There is nothing worse than hovering nearby and just...staring. That's just weird and is obviously going to make people uncomfortable. That's the difference between "I appreciate this body and outfit" and "You'd look good in my dungeon."

 

[Vegosiux]

If someone is directly rude to me, I will first try to reason with them one on one, without making it a scene. And if that doesn't work I'll take it up with whoever's responsible for order and security at the event.

Because making a scene, and "highlighting the fact as loudly as possible" does make a scene, is going to drag people who are just minding their own business and have no obligation to have my personal issues shoved on them into the scene. I'd be disrupting the enjoyment of other people who are completely unrelated to the score I have to settle between myself and that one rude person.

Making a scene, shoving my issues onto everyone present? That is rude.

You'd take it up with security if someone was rude to you and wouldn't apologise? I think beyond a certain point you've got to learn to let it go man. I just follow them home and sit outside their house for hours beeping my horn.

Nah, not for that, but if they continue being a pain in my proverbial rear end after I've let them know what they're doing is bothering me and they continue to do so, then yes.

 

[Vegosiux]

And yes, if some has been directly rude to me, I make a point of highlighting that fact as loudly as possible.

If someone is directly rude to me, I will first try to reason with them one on one, without making it a scene. And if that doesn't work I'll take it up with whoever's responsible for order and security at the event.

Because making a scene, and "highlighting the fact as loudly as possible" does make a scene, is going to drag people who are just minding their own business and have no obligation to have my personal issues shoved on them into the scene. I'd be disrupting the enjoyment of other people who are completely unrelated to the score I have to settle between myself and that one rude person.

Making a scene, shoving my issues onto everyone present? That is rude.

You'd take it up to security? What would you say? "Excuse me security guard, I have an urgent matter of which I need your assistance. Some stranger was RUDE to me. I insist you do something about it. Why are you laughing at me like that?" Do you not realize how ridiculous that sounds?

No, I'd actually relay my message via interpretative dance and clever use of avian mating calls.

More seriously, though, how about you just read what I wrote and quit asking questions I've already answered.

Or maybe I should just forget about keeping my problems to myself and adopt the entire "make a scene" policy I was arguing against, and screw the people who wanted to just enjoy their event in peace.