Poll: So a man walks into a bar...

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BiscuitTrouser

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May 19, 2008
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FelixG said:
First, for the record, I believe in utterly destroying something that is a threat to myself, If you leave the threat intact then it can become vengeful and seek retribution for the loss, safer to make sure that whatever threatens you can never become a threat again.

And to be fair, I am not a good person to ask, I have a hair trigger anger problem (That I have to make sure to keep very closely under control) and am a vengeful person, so while morally I would accept that he was doing what he could to advance himself in the world, I would still want to see him ruined because I am an angry and vengeful person ^.^

Then again, we live in a world of laws, so these theories are not (easily) able to be put to the test.
Youre right, in society it is hard to test such a thing. However it sounds like you would be more at home under atilla the hun than in mordern society. Surely you see laws improve the quality of life for everyone. A cut throat society is a society full of fear that functions really inefficiently. Quality of life would be much much lower.
 

Galletea

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Sep 27, 2008
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5 million dollars? Is that it? Nah, for more I'd consider it. But then he'd probably rat me out anyways.
 

Relish in Chaos

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Mar 7, 2012
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No, because there?d still be a chance of you getting caught if the man with the briefcase knows that you?ve killed someone and you have no reason to trust that he?ll keep his gob shut. Also, I don?t think I could bring myself to kill someone, even if it was a stranger. The guilt combined with the fear of capture would probably tear me apart.

If there was truly 0% of being captured in this highly unrealistic hypothetical situation without any consequences, especially long-term (like, the man with the briefcase kills himself afterwards for some reason), then yes, I?d do it. I?d put some cyanide or something in their drink, get the fuck out of there, and they?d later die in their sleep without me ever having to witness the death. If not that, a quick shot to the back of the head.

I?d still feel guilty, but I?d have five million dollars. Everyone are whores to money. When you look at the TV and hear a story about a convicted murder, I don?t jump to conclusions and think, ?Grr, what an evil guy, he should be castrated for what he did!? It could just as easily been anyone of us, and don?t think that anyone of you are automatically saints because all of us have thought about killing someone, whether or not they deserved it, and all of us have the capacity to do so. Especially if it?s someone that you don?t even know nor affects you in your day-to-day life. Plus, many of us, including myself, have a skewed moral code that we don?t necessarily stick to.

Bertylicious said:
A much more pertinent question would be to ask people if they'd let the stranger spunk in their bum-hole for 5 million. That way people will be able to recognise whether or not they are whores.
I'd ask him to get a test first, and if he's clean, I'd agree to it. No-one but my arsehole would be harmed, and honestly, being penetrated in the anus can't be that bad.

Of course I?m a whore. We?re all fucking whores, and nothing I?ve seen or heard of on this planet has suggested otherwise.

Gothproxy said:
Nope. Not even if there was a chance of not being caught. Why not? Because Karma is a major beeaaahhhch.
I wouldn't let such irrationally supernatural beliefs as karma restrict your freedom like that.

Years ago, I tried being a fucking saint, doing good things and generally being nice to people because I believed that the problems I was having was largely my own fault and I hoped that my life would be dragged out of butter. Fast-forward to the present day, and I'm still knee-deep in the same shit that I'd been experiencing since then.

Fuck karma, it doesn't exist. The theory of some kind of good-evil natural order balance bullshit is entirely ridiculous and idealistic.

Bara_no_Hime said:
Although, if he's got the briefcase now... that implies payment up front. I could agree, take the case, take out three million (and hide it), then go to the police and say that this guy offered me Two million to kill the person, and how. I get to be a hero for turning the guy in, and I have three million for my trouble. :p
Could he really be done for that, though? It's word against his, and the police would ask where the money is now, meaning that you might have to fess up.

Also, he could say that he'd only give you the money until after you killed the person. But that's even more risky, so as long as he gives me the money and kills himself after I've killed the person (or it's him that I have to kill), then I'd probably do it. Of course, this is in a highly unrealistic hypothetical situation where there?s absolutely 0% chance of capture without any long-term consequences.
 

monkey_man

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Jul 5, 2009
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welp, if it's a 0% detection rate, the only variable is the method. I'm not good with one on one brawling, but I suppose I could kill a man if I was allowed to poison his food, or shoot him with a gun. Perhaps stab him, but I could be overpowered.

but if the killing method was 100% (poison, guns etc.) I'd probably do it.

okay, perhaps not if he looks like this.
 

Jedoro

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Jun 28, 2009
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Nope. I have to know that my target is a threat to me or the less-guilty people in the world.
 

Bara_no_Hime

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Sep 15, 2010
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Relish in Chaos said:
Bara_no_Hime said:
Although, if he's got the briefcase now... that implies payment up front. I could agree, take the case, take out three million (and hide it), then go to the police and say that this guy offered me Two million to kill the person, and how. I get to be a hero for turning the guy in, and I have three million for my trouble. :p
Could he really be done for that, though? It's word against his, and the police would ask where the money is now, meaning that you might have to fess up.
It wouldn't be my word against his - it would be my word and a briefcase full of two million dollars with his finger prints all over it.

As for where the money is - I just said I gave it to the police. All TWO million (tee hee). I've just turned over two million dollars to the police, and I've been honest about everything else, why would they believe the guy who tried to hire me to murder someone? And is that guy even going to admit to giving me the money (or how much was in the briefcase)?

Hell, I could even say that he offered me 5 - two up front, three on completion. That is perfectly reasonable, and would make any bank-transactions he did to remove the cash fit.

Plus, any witnesses at the bar would have seen the guy give me a briefcase after talking with me. I'd have witnesses backing up my story.

So yeah, I think there's a good chance I could get this guy put away, and be three million richer for it.
 

CrimsonBlaze

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Aug 29, 2011
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Well, my initial response would be no because

a.) I would not want to kill anyone under any non-lethal circumstances (especially for money), and
b.) money isn't all that important to me. It's essential to living, but not a high priority to me personally.

However, I tend to analyze the situation more critically. If this individual is reaching out to me personally, then they obviously know more about me. Should I refuse, he might try to eliminate me or someone close to me because I now know about their intentions.

I would then proceed to agree to their proposition, only to learn more about the situation and hope to prevent both the future murder of this unknown individual and to stop whatever plot is going underway.
 

SUPA FRANKY

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Aug 18, 2009
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No thanks, because killing someone isn't just some "small" process. it takes gut5s, and unless i was pushed to the edge, I wouldn't have the guts to do it.

Besides, I'm not gullible. Some strange man "claims" to give me money to kill osme dude, and swears I won't get in trouble? Yea.
 

Relish in Chaos

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Mar 7, 2012
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Bara_no_Hime said:
Relish in Chaos said:
Bara_no_Hime said:
Although, if he's got the briefcase now... that implies payment up front. I could agree, take the case, take out three million (and hide it), then go to the police and say that this guy offered me Two million to kill the person, and how. I get to be a hero for turning the guy in, and I have three million for my trouble. :p
Could he really be done for that, though? It's word against his, and the police would ask where the money is now, meaning that you might have to fess up.
It wouldn't be my word against his - it would be my word and a briefcase full of two million dollars with his finger prints all over it.

As for where the money is - I just said I gave it to the police. All TWO million (tee hee). I've just turned over two million dollars to the police, and I've been honest about everything else, why would they believe the guy who tried to hire me to murder someone? And is that guy even going to admit to giving me the money (or how much was in the briefcase)?

Hell, I could even say that he offered me 5 - two up front, three on completion. That is perfectly reasonable, and would make any bank-transactions he did to remove the cash fit.

Plus, any witnesses at the bar would have seen the guy give me a briefcase after talking with me. I'd have witnesses backing up my story.

So yeah, I think there's a good chance I could get this guy put away, and be three million richer for it.
Ah, OK. Clever thinking. ;)
 

Erttheking

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I'd smack the guy over the head with the briefcase, grab the money and run to the police.
 

Vegosiux

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Bara_no_Hime said:
[

It wouldn't be my word against his - it would be my word and a briefcase full of two million dollars with his finger prints all over it.

As for where the money is - I just said I gave it to the police. All TWO million (tee hee). I've just turned over two million dollars to the police, and I've been honest about everything else, why would they believe the guy who tried to hire me to murder someone? And is that guy even going to admit to giving me the money (or how much was in the briefcase)?

Hell, I could even say that he offered me 5 - two up front, three on completion. That is perfectly reasonable, and would make any bank-transactions he did to remove the cash fit.

Plus, any witnesses at the bar would have seen the guy give me a briefcase after talking with me. I'd have witnesses backing up my story.

So yeah, I think there's a good chance I could get this guy put away, and be three million richer for it.
That's relying on his fingerprints being there, though...if the guy was careful enough, the only fingerprints on that briefcase and money would be yours.
 
Sep 30, 2010
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I guess I would accept, corner my target, and ask him for his counter offer. If he makes me a better offer I return to my employer, kill him, and take the cash he was offering plus the cash from my former target.
(captcha: Cherry on Top, how appropriate)
 

DoomyMcDoom

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Jul 4, 2008
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Well considering my moral compass is set to value, yes, yes I would, also if he's willing to pay top dollar for the hit it's probably someone in power, and I hate politicians/rich people/corporate executives... So it works for me.
 

Gothproxy

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Mar 20, 2009
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Relish in Chaos said:
No, because there?d still be a chance of you getting caught if the man with the briefcase knows that you?ve killed someone and you have no reason to trust that he?ll keep his gob shut. Also, I don?t think I could bring myself to kill someone, even if it was a stranger. The guilt combined with the fear of capture would probably tear me apart.

If there was truly 0% of being captured in this highly unrealistic hypothetical situation without any consequences, especially long-term (like, the man with the briefcase kills himself afterwards for some reason), then yes, I?d do it. I?d put some cyanide or something in their drink, get the fuck out of there, and they?d later die in their sleep without me ever having to witness the death. If not that, a quick shot to the back of the head.

I?d still feel guilty, but I?d have five million dollars. Everyone are whores to money. When you look at the TV and hear a story about a convicted murder, I don?t jump to conclusions and think, ?Grr, what an evil guy, he should be castrated for what he did!? It could just as easily been anyone of us, and don?t think that anyone of you are automatically saints because all of us have thought about killing someone, whether or not they deserved it, and all of us have the capacity to do so. Especially if it?s someone that you don?t even know nor affects you in your day-to-day life. Plus, many of us, including myself, have a skewed moral code that we don?t necessarily stick to.

Bertylicious said:
A much more pertinent question would be to ask people if they'd let the stranger spunk in their bum-hole for 5 million. That way people will be able to recognise whether or not they are whores.
I'd ask him to get a test first, and if he's clean, I'd agree to it. No-one but my arsehole would be harmed, and honestly, being penetrated in the anus can't be that bad.

Of course I?m a whore. We?re all fucking whores, and nothing I?ve seen or heard of on this planet has suggested otherwise.

Gothproxy said:
Nope. Not even if there was a chance of not being caught. Why not? Because Karma is a major beeaaahhhch.
I wouldn't let such irrationally supernatural beliefs as karma restrict your freedom like that.

Years ago, I tried being a fucking saint, doing good things and generally being nice to people because I believed that the problems I was having was largely my own fault and I hoped that my life would be dragged out of butter. Fast-forward to the present day, and I'm still knee-deep in the same shit that I'd been experiencing since then.

Fuck karma, it doesn't exist. The theory of some kind of good-evil natural order balance bullshit is entirely ridiculous and idealistic.

Bara_no_Hime said:
Although, if he's got the briefcase now... that implies payment up front. I could agree, take the case, take out three million (and hide it), then go to the police and say that this guy offered me Two million to kill the person, and how. I get to be a hero for turning the guy in, and I have three million for my trouble. :p
Could he really be done for that, though? It's word against his, and the police would ask where the money is now, meaning that you might have to fess up.

Also, he could say that he'd only give you the money until after you killed the person. But that's even more risky, so as long as he gives me the money and kills himself after I've killed the person (or it's him that I have to kill), then I'd probably do it. Of course, this is in a highly unrealistic hypothetical situation where there?s absolutely 0% chance of capture without any long-term consequences.
Well, I wouldn't say my belief in karma is 'irrational', though to argue that point is to argue which game is better, a shooter or a platformer. Also, 'trying' to be a saint suggests that you were doing good things in order to lessen your own life's suck factor. Doesn't work that way.

I'm not sure if karma exists, per se. All I know is that, in my life, it appears to, but it can also be viewed as divine interventions or some other "supernatural" belief. So it exists, to me, as it does to many. I'm guessing that if you are still knee-deep in the brown pool, the problem isn't the lack of karma or anything like that....the problem is you.

**And that's not meant as a personal slight. Just a professional opinion**

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