Poll: So, your a villain...

[Wackymon]

So, you were just given the opportunity of being a super-villain, and can do pretty much anything.

But you have to choose a foe (Que poll), and come up with a way to counter their attempts to defeat them. What will you do?

My response: I'd go with the Doctor, and just not give him a monologue, and kill him there. Thrice.

 

[Rowan93]

I picked superman. Any idiot supervillain seems to be able to get their hands on kryptonite, and I'm definitely an idiot supervillain.

I wear kryptonite all over my body. Depending on how toxic it is, I might even get it injected into my veins. If human flesh doesn't stop kryptonite from hurting superman (i.e. if hiding behind a human wouldn't stop the kryptonite getting to him, in the hypothetical scenario where he would ever use a human shield) then I'll have a great big chunk embedded in where my appendix is now. I'll be like, Kryptonite-man. I will be all over that stuff.

Once Superman is neutralised... well, I don't want to kill him, because he's really good at protecting the Earth from bad guys other than me - if Darkseid turns up and Superman isn't still around, I'm even more boned than I'd be if I'd chosen Chuck Norris as my nemesis. So I'll just keep him secured in a dungeon, in about as much comfort as can be arranged while keeping him weak enough to not break out.

Besides the "everyone has kryptonite" angle, having Superman as my nemesis is a pretty good gig because he's going to try and save my life no matter what my evil plan was that he just thwarted (if he does thwart it).

 

[GigaHz]

I pick Chuck Norris.

As an evil scientist, I'd find out how to re-animate the body of Bruce Lee. Once the procedure has been declared a success, all I would need to do is have him patrol around my Fortress of Evil as a personal Body Guard.

Chuck Norris would be defeated after any attempt to get near me.

... Oh, and the world would love me for bringing back Bruce Lee.

I'm starting to wonder if I'd still be considered a villain after this action.

 

[putowtin]

Chuck Norris,
Just so I bask in the wonder of his beard for the shortest of time!

 

[Blobpie]

Superman;
I'll just go down to my local kryptonite store, stock up on kryptonite aaaaaaand turn it into bullets...... LOTS OF BULLETS! So many kryptonite bullets that the kryptonite store will have to give me a free yogurt because i bought so much kryptonite!

 

[FalloutJack]

Chuck Norris. He's not getting any younger. And even Bruce Lee can't dodge bullets.

 

[Blobpie]

Superman;
I'll just go down to my local kryptonite store, stock up on kryptonite aaaaaaand turn it into bullets...... LOTS OF BULLETS! So many kryptonite bullets that the kryptonite store will have to give me a free yogurt because i bought so much kryptonite!

I really don't get why they haven't just armed a superhuman tactical squad with kryptonite ammo. Superman problem over in one night.

He might survive one kryptonite round with the matian manhunter around to phase it out. But riddle the guy with them, he's toast.

I always find the simplest solution is often the best.

 

[Stravant]

Honestly it seems like every dime-a-dozen supervillian can get his hands on Kryptonite at least once.

And Lex Luthor does it so reliably that Superman might as well wear a Hazmat suit to ever battle with him.

 

[Cpu46]

Standard superhero protagonist. Because in all honestly I would probably be a pretty halfhearted villain. My grand plan would reoccurring villain until me and him unite to take down a common foe greater than both of us then be the anti hero with villain tendencies.

 

[Quazimofo]

i chose standard superhero protagonist, because it seems that most of them can be defeated fairly simply by not trying to torture them or overly dramatize or otherwise elongate their death. send the best guys, me included, to do a quick, quiet(ish), and deadly foray into the hero's resting location, and just put a bullet into his face, each lung, heart, kidneys, colon, small intestine, testicles and/or ovaries, liver, stomach, gall bladder, regular bladder, prostate, forehead, face again, another 20 into the heart and lungs each, and wire the entire body with explosives then carry it to a location where we can observe the blast safely, then blow the whole damn thing to kingdom come. we then monitor all lazarus pits within 2000 miles of the blast zone for any signs of resurrection.

 

[JDLY]

I choose The Doctor. That way I could meet The Doctor.

Then I'd give up when he gave me the chance. Because no one is more clever than The Doctor.

He's always merciful enough to give you the chance, it's when you don't take it that he has no mercy.

 

[CleverCover]

I votes standard superhero protagonist because well, a proper villain can get rid of those really easily. No long speeches and just finishing the bastard off as soon as possible.

Then I thought about Chuck Norris. Dude be getting on in years. He's not as powerful as he used to be.

 

[Comando96]

A corpse.

Because the most stupid thing a Super Villain does is to reveal themself. That and build up the most colossal ego. The true super villains who rule us today simply have not revealed themselves so that they cannot be opposed

 

[pope_of_larry]

more then likely captain i would build large amounts of coal plants and actively make global warming happen faster.

 

[chadachada123]

Some random Jedi, because statistically I would be most-likely to win against him alone.

 

[Shadowstar38]

I pick Superman. Go big or go home.

Ill just blast his ass with red sun radiation and stab him with a hunk of krytonite.

After that Ill replicate his DNA, take out the parts that are effected by those weaknesses, put the perfect DNA in my body, and control the universe.

Done deal.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Chuck Norris, cause thrugh all his "greatness" hes still succeptible to a well trained and paid hitman/assassin. and barring that I think a pipebomb set up in his house would do well enouh really. plus the guys like 70, so even if I did nothing I could just wait 20-30 years and nature will do my work for me.

 

[RagTagBand]

I picked the Doctor. Not because i'm a fan of the show, because i'm not, but because I (as a villain) would have no interest in physically besting my opponent, nor killing them; I want to out smart them.

And all your other options are meat heads not exactly known for the intellectual prowess.

 

[Smiley Face]

I'd definitely not go into it looking to kill the hero. That's an excellent way to get yourself killed. Of course, the best policy is to take pains to not make any enemies - if no one knows what you're doing, no one will try and stop you - and if someone's in your way or finds out, you have a long and protracted discussion on why they should join you - if you can't convince someone else you've got good ideas, you probably shouldn't be operating on them. And then if they don't come around, you either agree to stop if they might pose a legitimate threat, and turn to more legal pursuits for a while, or if they're not a threat, they take a cement bath.

Probably the worst option to pick on this is Chuck Norris - Superman, the Doctor, and the Jedi would all offer quarter. With Superman, you'd probably come back from the dead in a month or two, should you actually die. The Jedi, and your standard protagonist, are generally stupid and foolable, as is Superman to a lesser degree. Chuck Norris would just kill you.