Poll: Striking a woman

[blackrave]

Poll also asks about your gender (M:ale or F:emale)

Now let me share a little story with you.
Year ago I was on my way from a late martial training session
I was slightly wined-up, as usual after such sessions
That path lead next to the bar
Usually things were calm, but this time things were slightly different
A couple was arguing and as soon as I passed by guy started to hit the girl
I returned to the couple and asked if there are any problems
Guy pushed me and said to fuck off
I explained that there is no need to get physical and suggested him to calm down
Then he pushed me again, called me a fag and asked what will I do.
Then I once more explained that I will not tolerate such behavior further from excuse of human being.
Then he attempted to punch me, I counterattacked him with 3 hit combo that left him on the ground gasping for air.
BUT
The most interesting part started after that
Next thing I realized was that someone was hitting me from behind
That girl was scratching, slapping and kicking me
When I asked her to stop, he screamed something incoherent alongside to leave him alone (and continued to attack me)
Since she looked like in panic, I decided that dialogue is useless, and slapped her to make sure he stops endanger us both.
After that I said that they both deserve each other and left.

And that still bothers me.
Was I right to interrupt?
Was striking that girl acceptable?
If it was ok, then why am I still feeling like shit about that?

I'm highly interested in opinion regarding this issue

 

[Vault101]

I think it was a good thing to intervine, as for hitting her given the context its ok

I don't know why she was attacking you but she probably was pissed somone took out her boyfreind..even if he was an ass

 

[Launcelot111]

You broke up the fight and no lasting harm was done. From that perspective, your intervention was perfectly fine. The question of whether or not you should have intervened in the first place, I can't judge because I don't have all the details, but if you felt someone would have gotten hurt and that there was no other alternative plan, then I see nothing wrong with it.

If your question is whether you should hit a girl, sticking to the "never hit a girl" adage isn't useful. You shouldn't go around hitting people, obviously, but if you're coming to the defense of yourself or others, you shouldn't draw arbitrary gender lines in your plan of action.

 

[davidmc1158_v1legacy]

The matter is always situational. In the case you described, I would have the opinion that you did not act inappropriately.

In some circumstances, resorting to violence is a piss-poor choice. You did not choose that option as your first action. You attempted to diffuse the situation and only responded with violence after the other party struck first. And you didn't even troll the guy as a means to get him to act that way.

Far too often, the use of violence is taken as the action of first-resort. That I consider wrong.

 

[WolfThomas]

I don't think striking a woman is ever acceptable. Or man by that same point.

I concede however there are times when you have to do something unacceptable to protect yourself or others.

 

[manic_depressive13]

I don't think it's okay to hit anyone. I think you should have established whether the woman actually wanted help before you engaged the man. It's impossible to help someone who doesn't want to be helped. I also believe that it's better to subdue someone without striking them. It's no big deal though. You were only trying to do the right thing and in the end I'm presuming no one was permanently injured.

 

[DoPo]

OK, the question whether it's right to hit a woman or not has always sounded just strange to me. Surely it is as right to hit a woman as it is to hit a man or whoever else. I don't walk around punching random people, as it seems that this is what the question implies - there are people who go around and punch others but apparently they should stop punching only the women. I can't express it as ridiculous as it sounds to me but I'm trying, OK? you catch my meaning, I hope.

I voted yes, by the way, as I said, it is as correct to hit a woman as it is to hit a man. I just hope you guys have a suitable standards for what is considered correct or not. And they are not based on gender.

 

[Rawne1980]

I'm the wrong person entirely to be commenting on threads about fighting considering my incredibly violent past.

All I can say is i've never actually hit a woman. I've been slapped by them, bit, nipped, scratched and had a bottle swung for my head but it makes me laugh more than anything.

I'm quite a big guy and it isn't often I find a woman that reaches my shoulders never mind eye level.

It's like being attacked by hobbits.

But, in my opinion, you did the right thing. She was a bit hysterical by the sounds of it and I doubt she would have stopped by you telling her to.

 

[NightmareWarden]

If you had not been wound up at the time, do you think that you (under normal circumstances) would have called the police instead to break up the feud? Given the circumstances, I have no criticism for your actions.

In regard to your poll question, I would like to expand the "lethal danger" options. Under the following circumstances, I think slapping (not beating) a woman would be completely justified: -She has intentionally attempted to seriously harm you (regardless of whether or not it would be fatal)
-She seriously harmed a beloved family member of yours (INCLUDING pets).
-She has destroyed your property. I mainly mean HUGE destruction, like intentionally wrecking a car or burning down most of your apartment.
In other words, I would only slap someone if they have caused or attempted to cause irreparable damage.
EDIT: I was only referring to slaps to the face. I think that everybody deserves a good smack to the back of the head at one point or another.

 

[Toy Master Typhus]

Why should there be a difference between punching a girl and punching a boy?

 

[FalloutJack]

There's always a damn reason for it, however I would like to extend the 'lethal danger' bit to 'God, some people are just so bitchy that you want to WHAM.'. Because...admit it, some people just SAY or DO horrible things that may not affect you personally...but are flipping WRONG.

 

[Little Woodsman]

I didn't vote in the poll because it didn't have an option for Male-Only under extreme enough circumstances.
For example, if striking a female was the only option I had to stop her from harming a child, stop her from
doing permanent damage to herself, etc....
That being said, I come from a time and place where boys were taught it was never *ever* OK to hit a girl,
and for the most part my ethos is that striking people is something reserved for extreme circumstances, and
striking someone who is obviously smaller/weaker than you even more so.
The particular story you relate--ah, man--ask any police officer & they will tell you that domestic disputes are
the messiest things to get involved with...what happened in your case is absolutely typical, one partner will
come to the others defense no matter what had been happening even seconds before.
Though I honestly don't see how you could have refused to intervene/do something to stop the
violence being perpetrated on the girl in that story. Though rather than slapping her, if there
was a drink handy on the table I would probably have grabbed that and thrown it in her face.
Cold liquid to the face will often shock people enough to make them reconsider what they are doing.
I go now to see what sort of hitting is being shown on the all hitting channel!

 

[White Lightning]

Your story sounds fake as hell, but I'll bite.

I personally wouldn't of even looked in their direction, it's their problem not mine. You probably shouldn't of hit the girl but tried to restrain her, I mean you're a kung-fu master aren't you? Surely you could of accomplished that.

I generally dislike hitting girls and usually won't.

 

[Joccaren]

Why would hitting a girl be unacceptable?
I mean really, hitting ANYONE is unacceptable, but there is absolutely NO reason at all why hitting a girl is more so. I mean really, they're just another human being. If you can hit a guy there is no reason you can't hit a girl. Sure, they may be weaker, so could another guy. You know what you do? Control the force of your hit.
There is no gender based immunity in this, if someone is attacking you, be it guy or girl, feel free to hit them to stop them. Otherwise its unacceptable to attack either guys or girls without provocation.

 

[Arakasi]

I don't know if the poll represents my response to this question adequately.
The same amount of force one would use on a man in the same situation is exactly what is deserving when in the situation with a woman.
You did what you thought you had to, there's nothing wrong with that. Sex is irrelevant.

 

[Maze1125]

If it was ok, then why am I still feeling like shit about that?

Because your instincts and culture you were brought up in are sexist.
Now, that doesn't mean you're sexist (although it might, but that's irrelevant right now either way) the point is that what you're feeling is just that, your feelings. Feelings aren't rational, they pretty much just do what they want. They can sometimes be a useful marker, but they're often completely wrong.

Now, as to why she started attacking you, she's probably in an abusive relationship and those do weird things to a person's mind. It makes them believe that they love the abuser, that they're in the relationship by choice and that anything that happens to them isn't anyone else's business despite the fact that what they need the most is someone to interfere. He's probably hit her so often that she sees it as normal, but your intervention was something new and odd to her.
The fact that she attacked you, rather than thanked you, was just another symptom of her abuse.

 

[Remus]

I live in a family of big women, as in over 6 feet and physically intimidating specimens of nature. If one of them or another like them came at me with intent to do bodily harm, I'd have to reciprocate in kind. IMO in the given situation you simply defended yourself. You knocked the guy cold after he attempted to hit you then slapped the girl when she did the same. No closed fist used when you hit the girl, no damage done, and you diffused a volatile situation to boot. I wouldn't feel guilty about that. I'd be proud.

 

[Aaron Sylvester]

If a guy tried to physically attack me then I wouldn't hesitate to let loose, he knows what he's getting himself into. I'm not backing down from any guy especially if I didn't provoke the attack.

If a girl tried to physically attack me then I would try my best to subdue/restrain her without hurting her, try my best to verbally warn her. Hitting back with intent to injure would be an absolute last resort. But yes, I would do it if pushed that far.