In your particular case hitting the girl was acceptable, because your motives were not to hurt her but to calm her down. Your interception was a good thing, but sometimes even the right actions end up in the wrong results.
Poll: Striking a woman
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In that context, I know a lot of people would say you were 100% in the right. The problem is, (and I would have done what you did by the way) it does...kind of...feel wrong. I'm just going to blame it on the stigma associated with hitting women in general.
Speaking in general I think the best rule of thumb is to not hit people in general but this is basic stuff and obvious. Also for a final note: spanking and hitting in the context of being kinky is A-OK so long as there is consent. Once again: obvious.
Speaking in general I think the best rule of thumb is to not hit people in general but this is basic stuff and obvious. Also for a final note: spanking and hitting in the context of being kinky is A-OK so long as there is consent. Once again: obvious.
You put it better than I did.Phasmal said:
I'm surprised the 'If they want equality, I have to be able to punch them in the face' crowd haven't shown up yet.
If in the same situation you'd have hit a guy, then yeah, it's acceptable. If they want to play rough, then you're obliged to indulge them.
However, I think I've been conditioned too long now to actually practice what I preach. Beyond grabbing her wrists and subduing her without hurting her, I don't think I'd really do anything. Thinking about it now - they have such pretty faces. They don't look like they were made to take punches like a man's face, where a broken nose just makes him look mean rather than ugly.
See, Escapist, now you've made me cycle through a montage of punching girls in the face. Why?
However, I think I've been conditioned too long now to actually practice what I preach. Beyond grabbing her wrists and subduing her without hurting her, I don't think I'd really do anything. Thinking about it now - they have such pretty faces. They don't look like they were made to take punches like a man's face, where a broken nose just makes him look mean rather than ugly.
See, Escapist, now you've made me cycle through a montage of punching girls in the face. Why?
You hit her because she was being crazy and attacking you not because you hate women, you're in the right. It's okay to hit someone in self defence or because they're being violent/aggressive/an ass it's wrong when you hit them only because they're a man/woman/black/white/etc' etc'.
yeah i wanted to say that lethal shoudl be changed to physical too. its not good to strike anyone man or woman, but if they are hitting you you have a right to defend yourself.Dimitriov said:
that being said i took the lethal danger option, and was suprised by how many people voted yes. i guess they voted yes give the OP situation and not in general.
I voted yes for lack of a 'depends' option like the last 20 of this thread has had.
Also note that as it's rare to meet a woman who's within so much as 5" of my height and 1/2 my muscle mass, it's unlikely i'd hit one with the same force i would, say, another >6' male. More likely to be a hard shove unless she's trying to stab me or something.
Also like to point out my captcha was 'propane accessories', and since when did it start using memes?
Also note that as it's rare to meet a woman who's within so much as 5" of my height and 1/2 my muscle mass, it's unlikely i'd hit one with the same force i would, say, another >6' male. More likely to be a hard shove unless she's trying to stab me or something.
Also like to point out my captcha was 'propane accessories', and since when did it start using memes?
A little clarification:
I added gender specific answers, because it is gender sensitive question
Also I was a bit curious
Answer "Yes" is actually "Yes, within a reason"
"Reason" is anything that is more or less adequate, but no physical danger is present.
Of course, it wasn't meant as "punching every woman, because you have a bad mood"
Sorry for not clarifying this, I considered it obvious :/
Edited the poll and changed "lethal" to "physical".
Also thanks for everyone who pointed out that I should have restrained her
I think that is why I feel bad about situation
But for some reasons my first reaction was hitting her
I usually pride myself as a rational and adequate, but maybe I'm not that rational after all
For example that dude actually punched me, not in a face though, I deflected a hit, but not enough, so his fist landed on my right ear.
Also last hit to him (inner side of a knee) wasn't that clean as I made it sound, I was forced to additionally use elbow to push him to the ground.
(I considered such details unnecessary to mention)
So no, I'm far from the Master- I'm barely a Merchant
P.S. Not every martial art is Kung-Fu
P.P.S. Although majority of martial arts can be considered as some form of Kalaripayattu. Sometimes mutated form, but nonetheless a descendant to Battle Yoga. So if you wanted to be sarcastic, calling me a Battle Yogi would be more precise.
I added gender specific answers, because it is gender sensitive question
Also I was a bit curious
Answer "Yes" is actually "Yes, within a reason"
"Reason" is anything that is more or less adequate, but no physical danger is present.
Of course, it wasn't meant as "punching every woman, because you have a bad mood"
Sorry for not clarifying this, I considered it obvious :/
Edited the poll and changed "lethal" to "physical".
Also thanks for everyone who pointed out that I should have restrained her
I think that is why I feel bad about situation
But for some reasons my first reaction was hitting her
I usually pride myself as a rational and adequate, but maybe I'm not that rational after all
I agree, it really sounds fake, but only because I omitted some detailsWhite Lightning said:
For example that dude actually punched me, not in a face though, I deflected a hit, but not enough, so his fist landed on my right ear.
Also last hit to him (inner side of a knee) wasn't that clean as I made it sound, I was forced to additionally use elbow to push him to the ground.
(I considered such details unnecessary to mention)
So no, I'm far from the Master- I'm barely a Merchant
P.S. Not every martial art is Kung-Fu
P.P.S. Although majority of martial arts can be considered as some form of Kalaripayattu. Sometimes mutated form, but nonetheless a descendant to Battle Yoga. So if you wanted to be sarcastic, calling me a Battle Yogi would be more precise.
I'm pretty sure there isKaymish said:
Yes, in the sense that it's no less acceptable than striking a man. You shouldn't be doing either really though.
It's OK, to not hit them would be to deny them equal treatment due to their gender which is sexist. Besides if she was hitting you then obviously she has no problems with resorting to violence, hitting her back was completely justified.
My rules about hitting people are identical whether they are male, female... or anything in between. I think to discriminate (not hit women just because of their gender) would be the worst kind of sexism, the kind that isn't self aware. In case anyone is curious my rules are that anyone intending to cause me physical harm is fair game. Waiting for them to strike first is arbitrary and foolish. I was once nearly mugged in Chicago by two gangers, one of whom had a knife. Apparently they weren't aware that mugging a sociopath who trained for a year intending to join the special forces wasn't a great plan.
If a guy hits me, I will attempt to diffuse the problem calmly and/or walk away. If that just isn't working, I will lay him out on the ground. But as I say, only if that's my only choice. If a girl hits me, I will do the same thing, but I won't hit a girl, I will restrain her, remove any weapon she might have and calm her down.
I have never met anyone, girl or guy that could overpower me, but I have met plenty who feel the need to try. Not being an internet tough guy here, I'm actually just built that way. And one of the first things you learn with my height and build is that some people seem programmed to try and 'prove' themselves against you, as though you're a mere punching bag for their benefit.
What they don't seem to realise is that the punching bag can punch back. But what I learned growing up was that I should always try and refrain from fighting back, because I've almost killed someone before while in high school, I believed I was in the right, defending myself against a little shit who just wouldn't take a hint, but after putting him through a teacher's car window and breaking half his ribs, I figured that I shouldn't fight anyone unless absolutely necessary.
I have never met anyone, girl or guy that could overpower me, but I have met plenty who feel the need to try. Not being an internet tough guy here, I'm actually just built that way. And one of the first things you learn with my height and build is that some people seem programmed to try and 'prove' themselves against you, as though you're a mere punching bag for their benefit.
What they don't seem to realise is that the punching bag can punch back. But what I learned growing up was that I should always try and refrain from fighting back, because I've almost killed someone before while in high school, I believed I was in the right, defending myself against a little shit who just wouldn't take a hint, but after putting him through a teacher's car window and breaking half his ribs, I figured that I shouldn't fight anyone unless absolutely necessary.
Generally I don't like to fight because I'm quite a gentle person, I'm not an uncouth youth anymore and there are easier ways to solve disputes. However, in the advent that a woman tries to take me on I'll feel compelled to defend myself. It's hardly very gentlemanly but in this day and age its very rarely that women are ladylike, at least the types I see on a daily basis. Whilst some may argue that I've got an advantage in terms of physical prowess, by that logic I shouldn't fight back when a weaker, smaller guy picks a fight with me.
I would strike a woman for the exact same reasons I'd strike a man. I am very open about this mentality.
When the subject came up at uni, I said the same thing.
Cut to a week later, and everybody thinks I'm anti-semitic for some reason. Track down the source of the rumour, turns out it was the woman I was talking to. She didn't like that I would hit a woman for any reason whatsoever.
Moral of the story: people are dicks.
When the subject came up at uni, I said the same thing.
Cut to a week later, and everybody thinks I'm anti-semitic for some reason. Track down the source of the rumour, turns out it was the woman I was talking to. She didn't like that I would hit a woman for any reason whatsoever.
Moral of the story: people are dicks.
Yeah, this is my stance too. I am against violence and I don't make a difference between men or women in this. In self defence or protecting someone it can be accepted when nothing else works. Nothing excessive and not causing intentional harm. Yeah, I'm boring.llagrok said:
Sounds like you did right to me. Nobody was seriously hurt and you probably stopped them from beating each other to a pulp.
As for the poll I answered the physical danger one. I've been in many fights with girls and women, lost quite a few too. And just because they don't look like they eat steroids for breakfast doesn't mean they're not dangerous. Damn they have a good left hook. I still have a light creak in my jaw after one of them got me.
Male here.
As for the poll I answered the physical danger one. I've been in many fights with girls and women, lost quite a few too. And just because they don't look like they eat steroids for breakfast doesn't mean they're not dangerous. Damn they have a good left hook. I still have a light creak in my jaw after one of them got me.
Male here.
So this woman gets anti-Semitism out of a conversation about using force against women in a fight? Clearly not the brightest crayon in the box.Thanatos5150 said:
Like many of you guys, I feel that you shouldn't have to resort to striking a person, regardless of gender, unless absolutely necessary, and if you do have to fight then end it quickly before it escalates into something worse. Also, if people won't show restraint when attacking you for whatever reason, why should you show restraint simply because of their gender?
Like it's been said by most people here, it seems: When it comes to physical force, don't discriminate based on gender (although I'd add that it could be okay to base it on their particular body type, which is often but not always smaller for a woman), but also just refrain from doing it altogether to anyone if possible.
But what I more wanted to mention was this:
In a similar situation, I would suggest that past the general 'is everything alright' query, that you mostly address the attacked (whether it be the female or the male, and it's not like domestic violence is exclusive to straight couples, as well), asking them if they want you to stay or call someone. They will probably say no, that they are okay, but it makes it clear that they have someone on their side. A good way to leave the situation would be to say something along the lines of 'Don't forget you don't have to be alone on this' or 'You don't have to put up with this' and then to walk away but wait around close by, and in view of the couple, so they know that someone is still there. Besides this it is, unfortunately, largely a 'help those who help themselves' situation.
But what I more wanted to mention was this:
It is a bizarre thing for an outsider (as in, outside of such of a relationship) to get our heads round, but the fact of the matter is, she's probably been with him for a while, he probably hits her often and she stays with him because she loves him. To her, you were not defending her, you were attacking the man she loved. This is why it's extra tricky when trying to intervene on a domestic abuse situation, the victim is often on the attacker's side.blackrave said:
In a similar situation, I would suggest that past the general 'is everything alright' query, that you mostly address the attacked (whether it be the female or the male, and it's not like domestic violence is exclusive to straight couples, as well), asking them if they want you to stay or call someone. They will probably say no, that they are okay, but it makes it clear that they have someone on their side. A good way to leave the situation would be to say something along the lines of 'Don't forget you don't have to be alone on this' or 'You don't have to put up with this' and then to walk away but wait around close by, and in view of the couple, so they know that someone is still there. Besides this it is, unfortunately, largely a 'help those who help themselves' situation.
If you go around talking with your fists, then you are a horrible person. No matter what your gender, you're a horrible person. No matter what gender you hit.
There's better ways to resolve fights than with violence although I think what OP did was good with warning the woman to calm down. If that fails than by all means belt them to calm them down.
It's not right to strike anyone, unless as I say, you've given them warning to stop or in self defense. Even out of anger, I could understand.
I will never stand behind the fact I'm a woman to avoid being hit. I hate people who say on here "hurr hurr, equality, all women are the same, they say they don't want to be hit but will happily hit someone else."
I've honestly never met a woman who thinks like that. If I hit a man for no good reason then I expect something back. If I ever have a man by his throat with a knife pushed into his chin I expect him to knock me out.
If we're arguing about dirty socks and he lays into me, I would give him twice as much back.
I could rant about this but I'm already running late for work ;n;
There's better ways to resolve fights than with violence although I think what OP did was good with warning the woman to calm down. If that fails than by all means belt them to calm them down.
It's not right to strike anyone, unless as I say, you've given them warning to stop or in self defense. Even out of anger, I could understand.
I will never stand behind the fact I'm a woman to avoid being hit. I hate people who say on here "hurr hurr, equality, all women are the same, they say they don't want to be hit but will happily hit someone else."
I've honestly never met a woman who thinks like that. If I hit a man for no good reason then I expect something back. If I ever have a man by his throat with a knife pushed into his chin I expect him to knock me out.
If we're arguing about dirty socks and he lays into me, I would give him twice as much back.
I could rant about this but I'm already running late for work ;n;