Poll: Striking a woman

[Icehearted]

This again?

Notice how most men that talk about hitting any woman with reservation, such as open palm only, talk as if disciplining a child. As sexist as this thread already is against men (because obviously as the title implies hitting men is acceptable and therefore not a matter for discussion), that in turn is a sexist and infantilizing viewpoint on women.

By the way, most domestic violence between heterosexual couples is perpetrated against men by women and then by a wide WIDE margin, and then also mostly non-reciprocal, and then, by admission of women questioned on the matter, usually admittedly a form of abuse. Statistically men are far less likely to hit women, and often if that happens it will be a reported crime.

Yes and no.

Yes in the sense that it's just as right to hit a woman as it is to hit a man.

No in the sense that it's not really "right" to hit anyone.

The best and only answer as far as I'm concerned.

 

[trollnystan]

I'm not sure what I should vote. In my opinion one shouldn't hit ANYONE, regardless of gender, unless in self-defence or in defence of someone else's life.

However, you said she was hysterical, so if all you did was slap her to snap her out of it, and to stop her hurting you... then yeah, I think you're in the clear in my books.

 

[mattttherman3]

Well, if someone comes at you with a knife, you gotta defend yourself, you feel me? Or if she's trying to stab someone else, you feel me? That's pretty much it, you feel me?

 

[Sly Skater Man]

No one should really get a freebie to just smack at someone just "because they're a female" still as it's been stated their has to be a fine line between a simple smack like you did to bring her back to reality and just beating the living daylights out of her, because that's just way too far.

 

[Brad Calkins]

Okay, those two were psychos, and I should know, I've spent time on the Bay 12 forums.

 

[Catrixa]

Honestly, I think hitting anyone to get them to stop hitting you is probably about the best you're going to get, depending on the circumstances (diplomacy has failed, attempts to remove yourself from their vicinity have failed, attempts to restrain them have failed, authority is nowhere nearby to summon, etc.). That said, I can't get on board with the open-hand put-her-back-in-her-place slap. A lot of people on here seem pretty chill with the whole "be nice, but be firm, so she knows what she did was wrong"-stance, and that sounds like "women need to understand their place in life, and, while you shouldn't punish them with physical violence immediately, if it boils down to that, hit them so they'll learn" to me. Which sounds like dog training.

Honestly, if you're willing to take out people who are hurting you, regardless of how strong they are (it doesn't sound like the boyfriend really put up much of a fight before having a sidewalk sandwich), it shouldn't matter what gender they are, either. Besides, if someone is threatening your safety, and you are worried about that enough to engage in physical violence with them, I'd recommend taking every opponent seriously, unless you live in an gun/concealed carry-free area.

 

[afroebob]

If a girl hits me I'll hit her back. Once she no longer poses a threat than I'm done.

 

[DrunkOnEstus]

If OP's story happened that way, then he has nothing to feel bad about. Though it's my understanding that martial art involves subduing the assailant to avoid actual violence if possible. In the heat of the moment though, I could see losing your cool and giving a slap.

I remember the day I understood true equality regarding this. I had a girlfriend in high school who decided spontaneously that she wanted to box. I was gentle, not wanting to hurt her and pretty much playing around, and she socked me real good. So it turned into Holyfield vs. Tyson, with a bloody nose and a black eye. We had a laugh and it was a great day, I'll never forget it. So yeah, I see genders less since then, just people, humans.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Well, like most people (I hope), only in self defence, the same as if I were to hit a guy. I guess I might be a little less likely to hit a girl in jest, because they tend to be (this is out of the girls I know, don't shout at me for being sexist) a little more delicate. Besides, I don't have as many female friends that I'm close enough with to playfight with.

As for your situation? Whilst I don't necessarily think you getting involved in the first place was wrong, I think your retaliation was ridiculously over the top. He pushed you, so you hit him three times, leaving him gasping for air? How is that possibly sensible, and can you blame her for attacking you because of it? In that situation I don't really know if hitting her was right, you shouldn't have got yourself into that situation anyway.

 

[Risingblade]

Not hitting her would be sexist and sexism is wrong.

 

[blackrave]

You should never have intervened. You had been drinking, you admit you were pumped up from your martial training, it was a bad, bad decision.
If you really worried about the woman you ask HER if she is ok, and if you still worry she is not you call the police. You don't decide to by Mr. Vigilante and teach someone a lesson yourself, that is illegal and morally wrong.

The world needs less drunken tough guys wandering the streets beating people up and slapping their girlfriend like you.

I'm not sure that you're serious or not.
But let's pretend that you are serious.

I wasn't drunk, but they might have been (10.30PM and near a bar- high chances, and his punch was a bit slow)
Also I was asking both of them

But retroactively I admit that I should have left them after he said to me to get lost (and after that call the cops)
At that moment it seemed cowards choice.
Like I said it wasn't perfect resolution (especially when it backfired).

P.S. Now that I think about that, I lived 2 years in that apartment and never visited that bar. On the other hand I've never visited a strip club that was few blocks further, so maybe it isn't strange at all

 

[blackrave]

I am 100% serious. I don't want to come down hard on you, you sound like you thought you were doing a good thing but you were not. All that happened is that you inserted yourself into a private squabble between a couple and assualted two people, a man and a woman. I know from your point of view you were just trying to help but that is not how it played out and why you should call police rather than try and play the role of the police.

If she was screaming for help that is one thing, but if she is arguing right back at him then why assume she needs your help? Did she ask for it? Did you ask her first? Or did you just assume, step in and try and play the hero?

I know these are hard questions to hear but look at the results. It sounds like you know it wasn't the right thing to do.

Well they argued, then he slapped her and pushed her into wall
And I'm pretty sure it wasn't some form of romantic courting
I don't know what he or she did
I don't even remember anymore what they were arguing about
All I know that when he pushed her, I approached and asked them are there any problems
she said nothing, he started to insult me, the when I returned insult, he attacked me, I counterattacked him with better results
That's how it went.
Like I previously said couple of times I shouldn't slap her, but restrain her
And I should have called the police afterwards
These are 2 main mistakes I did in that situation
But I don't think that asking arguing/fighting couple about what was happening was wrong
And I personally don't think that not accepting insults was wrong

 

[The Lunatic]

While I'm never physically violent to anyone (For a long time.), I see no reason gender should affect my judgement to be so.

 

[Legion]

We certainly haven't had this thread a thousand times.

I'll say what I say in every one of them.
`I don't think hitting a person of either gender is acceptable except if it is absolutely necessary. And now I will get out of this thread before the pent up dudes who get really excited about the idea of smacking women come along`.

You put it better than I did.
I'm surprised the 'If they want equality, I have to be able to punch them in the face' crowd haven't shown up yet.

Perhaps you two ought to read the OP.

They didn't actually ask a general question of whether or not it is okay. They described a specific scenario and asked our opinions on it.

 

[Flames66]

The most interesting part started after that
Next thing I realized was that someone was hitting me from behind
That girl was scratching, slapping and kicking me
When I asked her to stop, he screamed something incoherent alongside to leave him alone (and continued to attack me)
Since she looked like in panic, I decided that dialogue is useless, and slapped her to make sure he stops endanger us both.
After that I said that they both deserve each other and left.

I would have done more than slap her at that point. I think hitting a woman is appropriate in all the same circumstances it is with a man. If A woman were to attack me would defend myself in whatever way I deemed necessary at the time.

 

[Lonewolfm16]

I generally advocate peace towards both males and females but if someone attempts to do me physical harm I will respond with physical force to stop them, gender is irrelavant. Treat men and women equally... and be peaceful towards both whenever possible. Seriously the never hit a girl thing is a left-over from a age where women were viewed as delicate useless flowers that needed protection, I have far more respect for women than that. Respect enough to view them as human beings equal to men and therefore deserving of the same treatment.

 

[Reaper195]

I next to never hit people unless they really piss me off. And that is incredibly hard to do, since I never bother to take anything personal or serious (Doing so saves sooo much bullshit). But if someone does do something utterly unbearable (Nothing really comes to mind at the moment), I'll hit them, gender irrelevant.

In fact...isn't it sexist to think it's okay to hit a man, but not a woman? Thinking she won't be able to handle the punch as much as a man?





*Sits back, watches flames begin*