Poll: the best quote ever

[Lizmichi]

"You're punky and hip in that sorta Weezer meets Green Day way." my best friend said that about me.
"Why is it always claws and guns? Can't we piss off a fuzzy planet? Still dangerous but hey, Bunnies!" - Joker from Mass Effect 2
"The pen my be mightier then the sword but if a crazy man runs at you with a sword I don't think you'll win with a pen."
"This place isn't very hobo friendly." St. Row 2
"Aw yes Cooking Mama, all the fun of cooking without any of the drugary of eating anything." Doomsday Arcade Episode 15.
"It is futile to undertake the endeavor of opposing me in a rivalry of intellect. I utilize immense lexis. (Translation) Never try to outsmart me. I use very big words."
I'm sure I have more.

 

[Cody211282]

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. ~Author Unknown.

Yea it only worked in WW2 and the American Civil War like a charm.


This wins

 

[Hurr Durr Derp]

"Don't ask for guarantees, and don't look to be saved in any one thing, person, machine, or library. Do your own bit of saving. And if you drown, at least die knowing you were headed for shore."
- Ray Bradbury

"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one."
- George Bernard Shaw

"Predicting the future is much too easy. You look at the people around you, the street you stand on, the visible air you breathe, and predict more of the same. To hell with more. I want better."
- Ray Bradbury

"Our responsibility is to do what we can, learn what we can, improve the solutions, and pass them on."
- Richard Feynman

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences."
- P.J. O'Rourke

 

[iLikeHippos]

Procrastination is like masturbation, sure its fun; but in the end your only fucking yourself.

I have no idea where that is from.

Not that I myself am sure where the birth source is, but...
<spoiler=Procrastination>

OT: "In the past our politicians offered us dreams of a better world. Now they promise to protect us from nightmares." --BBC television special

 

[AquaAscension]

I've got a few, but I think they're mostly my own work... and that's a little sad. Or awesome.

Spoiler: My own poetry

"Each moment I?m alive, I?ll
Live like I?m attached to a cardiograph conducting music to the beat of my body." - Cardiograph (Working Title)

"Why can't we all have a day where we could, with no intimation of guilt or shame, earnestly say, 'No, Officer, I wasn't speeding! I was simply refusing to accept limits!'" - Fortunes

"Hugs are the gateway drugs of love." - The Love Hug Drug

"I lift, I exercise, I train to strengthen my heart so it can hold the weight of the strikes life throws at me like Atlas with the world atop his spine." - Lifting

"To reiterate: This is NOT your grandpa's Poetry...
This...
IS...
SLAM!" - This is Slam

"I want a love like improvised emotion played across twelve strings singing." - Love Like

"Please listen because this is music plucked from the moment." - Less Than 3

And there are so many more lines that I think are cool, but I'm done loving myself for now.

Anyhow, lastly, from a song that I adore:

Spoiler: Spock's Beard - At The End of the Day

"Concrete and jungle
They've stretched and hung you out
You can't turn the clock back
It's too late to turn back now
And you can't even hold your own
And you feel like you're all alone
And you never feel like you're home anywhere

At the end of the day
There won't be anymore
(So turn the world around)
At the end of the day
We'll know what this was for
(As the sun keeps comin' down)
At the end of the day
You won't feel any pain
(As the sky begins to fall)
At the end of the day
You'll be feeling right as rain
(As the veil reveals it all)

Lightning calls you
It's time to go
Something keeps telling you
But you don't want to know

Feel your heart like a window open slow
Say goodbye to the world that you know
At the end of the road

It begins, it believes and it sees for all time
She's coming down my way
It is here, as it breathes and it sees for the blind
She's holding me finally

You've been schooled
Had aggression in large amounts
Just be truthful
It's everything that counts

There is no hand waiting that must be paid
We will leave our encores all unplayed
At the end of the day"

 

[freakydan]

"Sometimes he does not see his lover in the flesh for months at a time. At night, he watches his lover on the television. 'If you smile before the commercial break,' he whispers to his lover, 'it means you are thinking about me. If you blink now, it means you love me, you truly love me, and one day you will come out here for always.' He buries his face in a tee shirt that no longer smells like anybody at all, and waits for his lover to blink." - the incredible Neil Gaiman, from Sandman - Endless Nights, Portrait of Despair 5 of 15.

"he tells stories of the past. Great, rich, warm human stories of Stephen Hawking mapping out the universe from a wheelchair, of dancing with children in Zimbabwe dust and walking through Moscow snow with Mikhail Gorbachev. John Kennedy playing grab-ass in the White House. Nelson Mandela laughing at dirty jokes on a Jo'burg street. A kid walking in front of a Chinese tank. The stories that make us great. Mary will live for maybe another century, but her story is over. Because you wouldn't have it any other way." - Spider Jerusalem (Transmetropolitan, book 2 : Lust for Life, by Warren Ellis)

"It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses, and appologized to nobody." - Valerie (V for Vendetta, by Alan Moore)

The first two are more like favorite passages, and really, there's more before both of them that only makes it all more amazing, but really, if I had to pick one, I'd have to go with the last one.

 

[4nthr4x]

some random quotes:

Spoiler

- The quickest way to a man's heart is not through the stomach, but through his chest? with an axe!
- Eagles may fly, free and proud, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.
- Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
- I believe in compulsory cannibalism. If people were forced to eat what they killed, there would be no more war.
- Jesus said, come forth and receive eternal life. I came in third and won a toaster.
- I think animal testing is a terrible idea. They get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
- I love work. It fascinates me. I can sit and watch it for hours.
- I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called 'brightness,' but it doesn't work.
- We have enough youth, how about a fountain of "smart."
- The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
- When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
-It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
- When faced with a difficult task, pass it on to a lazy person and he'll figure out an easier way to accomplish it.
- I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
- When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.

 

[Guffe]

"Science is one cold hearted ***** with a 14 inch strappon!"

By Masouka (hope I got the name right) from Dexter

and also

"orkses never lose a battle. If we win we win, if we die we die fightin so it don't count. If we runs for it we don't die neither, cos we can come back for annuver go, see!"

By every common Ork and their way of looking at a battle from Warhammer 40k

 

[VeX1le]

Life sucks and then you die and then it sucks again. Anyone know where its from?

 

[Queen Michael]

"You did not have the right to be an idiot!"
-Terry Pratchett

"It's not that I don't understand what you're saying. I understand what you're saying. It's that I don't agree with what you're saying, and I'll continue to disagree with you no matter how many times you keep repeating the same stupid things you keep repeating."
-Dave Sim

 

[Anarchemitis]

[HEADING=1]We are here to Laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.[/HEADING]
-Charles Bokowsky

"HELLO, I'M BRIAN BLESSED! AND I'M DOING THIS WEEK'S BBC RADIO FOUR APPEAL ON BEHALF OF THE DEAF!!!!"
-Brian Blessed

 

[Riobux]

"If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face ? forever." ~ O'brien (from the book Nineteen Eighty-Four). That quote is just so metal. When I read it, I just looked up and said "Damn".

I'm going to have to agree that quote is fantastic. I find 1984 haunting in how similar I find it to modern western civilisation.

Another quote I like is "There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. " - Hunter S Thompson. There's just something about it that I love. I will admit though there are a lot of quotes from the movie and book of Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas I really like. I can't help but think there are other quotes I really like but I don't really remember them now.

 

[GsotSage]

-"So its a sword but sometimes it acts like a key."
-"Or its a key all the time and when you stick it in people it unlocks their death."
RvB

 

[AllLagNoFrag]

Phew, skimmed through all the quotes some fantastic ones posted.

Mine would have to be a one I find funny
"There is no such thing as retreat, only an advance in an opposite direction."
I did not make it up but, I dont think it is very common.

Oh, and one i ACTUALLY MADE UP (dont expect a great quote please)
"Efficiency is the smart man's form of laziness." (Cookie for me)

 

[ultrachicken]

Magic is science you don't understand-Christopher Moore