Poll: There is this girl......

[Bara_no_Hime]

There is this girl I know. We been friends for a while know to the point where we are acting flirtatious and such. I clearly like her and she clearly likes me. However, I'm not sure if I should date her because we been very good friends for a long time and I am afraid if I date her, we can no longer be friends. And worse, if we break up we defiantly not look at each other the same way again. So escapist, I am looking to you to help me here.

I went for it with my best friend from college.

We've been married for 7 years, we're still very much in love, and we have a great sex life.

I say go for it.

But if she turns you down, don't be angry with her - stay friends. I've had that happen to me too.

 

[DanDeFool]

Look at it like taking a needle.

You go for it now, and she rejects you, it'll hurt for a little while, but eventually you'll get over it and move on because you got that closure.

If you don't go for it, you'll just get sicker and sicker as you deal with these feelings on your own, and you'll always wonder 'what if'.

 

[Macgyvercas]

The only failure you should be worried about is failure to try. You could lose her from your life from any number of reasons. If you worry only about the bad things that could happen, what if things work out perfectly and you marry her or something?

That's really ironic that I'm reading your post at this time, because the current motto of the moment is "The only failure in life is the failure to try"

 

[cWg | Konka]

yes you should ask this girl out asap, the longer you are her friend the less chance you have of making her yours

 

[Ace of Spades]

Go for it. I was once in your shoes, and my friendship with the girl I liked completely fell apart after I took the plunge, but I'd rather have failed than to have never tried at all.

 

[CrashBang]

I had a best friend who was a girl a few years back. We were inseparable, but never flirtatious. We ended up getting together after being friends for about two years. We were together for eighteen months and it would've been awesome if she wasn't such a prick. Actually, for the most part, it was pretty awesome. Well, let's say 50/50

Long story short, go for it. Going out with a girl you've already got a close friendship with is awesome. There's just something cool and relaxing about it 'cause there's no need to get to know each other etc, it's just like the next step

 

[DarthFennec]

Here's the way I see it: do you have other friends? If so, go for it, and if it falls apart you won't be completely alone, so it's a win-win situation.

 

[Tyynn_Kaann]

If you two are really good friends then it's just that much more of an advantage for your relationship. Yeah, if it doesn't work out it will hurt but the truth is that if it does work out you guys have a great chance of going the distance, as long as you both remember that you were friends first.

Good luck!

 

[Zombie_Fish]

Moved to Advice Forum.

--Zombie

 

[TornadoFive]

This happened to me last year. We were friends, we both liked each other, we ended up going out and then splitting up after a couple of months. But we had both said at the start that if things didn't work out betwen us then we'd stay friends. And we have.

My advice? Tell her what you're worried about. She'll understand, and hopefully you'll be able to work something out.

Good Luck!

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

No. Don't do it. Both of you apparently want to and almost everyone you ask will tell you to get in there but ignore all that and focus on what's important.

Building up enough regret to ***** about it when you're older.

 

[Optional Opinion]

The only failure you should be worried about is failure to try. You could lose her from your life from any number of reasons. If you worry only about the bad things that could happen, what if things work out perfectly and you marry her or something?

That's really ironic that I'm reading your post at this time, because the current motto of the moment is "The only failure in life is the failure to try"

Isn't that the opposite of irony?

If that's the new motto of the moment shouldn't we expect people to use it?

 

[Dieter Meyer]

I know I SHOULD say "go for it dude", but I'll say "no", because I know exactly what kind of situation you're in and how hard it can be. Personally I know I would never ask her out simply because I care too much about our friendship, and the fact that they often are linked with my other friends... which would make an awkward atmosphere!

 

[Blayze2k]

Yes, go for it.
It's better than wondering if it could have worked out.
And people come and go from your life, even good friends. Being friends doesn't guarantee that she'll be around forever.
Better to roll the dice.
And if she's really a good friend, then she won't hold it against you, even if she's not interested.

 

[Macgyvercas]

The only failure you should be worried about is failure to try. You could lose her from your life from any number of reasons. If you worry only about the bad things that could happen, what if things work out perfectly and you marry her or something?

That's really ironic that I'm reading your post at this time, because the current motto of the moment is "The only failure in life is the failure to try"

Isn't that the opposite of irony?

If that's the new motto of the moment shouldn't we expect people to use it?

Well, what I meant was I had read the motto of the moment, then scrolled down in this thread and saw that post.

 

[kickyourass]

I say go for it, if you've been friends for this long it'll either work out great or if not you should be able to end it on fairly good terms.

 

[ScorpSt]

There is this girl I know. We been friends for a while know to the point where we are acting flirtatious and such. I clearly like her and she clearly likes me. However, I'm not sure if I should date her because we been very good friends for a long time and I am afraid if I date her, we can no longer be friends. And worse, if we break up we defiantly not look at each other the same way again. So escapist, I am looking to you to help me here.

Edit: Well I am certain she won't reject me because she at one time proposed the idea. We even almost made out before. The only thing that stop us was me saying no.

A lot of people are afraid that dating a friend will ruin their friendship. What they don't always realize though is that being friends before dating can make for a much longer lasting relationship. If I may give an example:

I met a girl in 2nd grade. We were best friends for several years until we were separated when I had to move and we went to different schools. Later, in Middle School, we were reunited. At first, it seemed like we just picked up our friendship where we left off, but I soon realized I had deeper feelings for her. I was afraid to ask her out though, because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. Later though, her friends (who were apparently tired of her obsessing over me) got us to start dating. We had a few rough patches over the years, but 3 years ago we go married. It's gotten to the point where our friends look at us as an example of a perfect relationship. We just found that out due to a poorly received April Fool's joke.

The important thing to keep in mind when you're dating a friend is not to let your relationship change too much. Keep doing the things that made you friends in the first place. And let her know that you would rather end the relationship than end your friendship.

 

[Riku'sTwilight]

Yeah as everyone else says, go for it. If you like her and she likes you then don't let your fear stop you from a sure thing.
If you like her and want to be in a relationship with her then just do it and enjoy your time with her while you can.
You never know she may end up being far more to you than just a girlfriend

 

[jbchillin]

it could be worth the risk