Poll: UK Citizenship Quiz

[Charli]

Here's a couple of proper questions:

1) What's wrong?
a) The weather.
b) The queues.
c) The government.
d) All of the above.

2) What's the best way to describe 100 cm?
a) A meter
b) A metre
c) 3.28083989501 feet
d) About a yard.

Bonus mark if you missed either the A or the T out of 'bou'.

3) Chicken Tikka Masala is England's favourite dish. Where does it come from?
a) India.
b) England.
c) Scotland.

Bonus marks for the name of any supermarket other than Waitrose.

4) Name a quality newspaper.
(Trick question: Any answer is wrong.)

5) What are the ingredients of a bacon sandwich?

Proper bacon, two doorsteps, brown sauce Ketchup is acceptable IF it's Heinz. Lose half a mark for lettuce.

6) Seriously, what's wrong?
a) The weather
b) That guy on the news, did you see it? Oooh what a scandal.
c) What the doctor doesn't think I have, but I know I do.
d) All of the above.

7) When should you say sorry?
a) When something is your fault.
b) When something isn't your fault.
c) When something might be your fault.
d) At every possible instance.

8) Look, are you sure nothing's wrong?
a) It's OK, I'll cope.
b) It's fine, I'll cope.
c) Well... - Lose 5 marks.
d) No, nothing is wrong.

9) Sex?
a) Male
b) Female
c) Hurr hurr you said sex - Lose 5 marks
d) I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean.

10)
Two World Wars and One World Cup?
a) Doo dah, doo dah.
b) I don't understand the question.
c) I find that offensive. - Lose 5 marks.
d) Do you really think we should still be harping on about that? - Deportation.

11) Congratulations, you have passed the test.
a) Sorry.
b) Sorry.

THAT. Is a British Citizen Test.

I've failed at 12/25 but maybe they have a point, I mean the UK is the most self loathing country on the planet, isn't it time we regained some pride and started knowing shit about our government and community again. We're like a conglomeration of mistrustful reclusives living together only because we have to.

 

[FoolKiller]

I got a 21 and I'm not a UK citizen. I missed ones with stupid numbers.... the constituency one. Also, how many million youth question. The differences between 13 and 14 million are negligible in this type of question.

For the rest I used common sense and uncanny luck.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

6/24, but I'm 'muriken.

 

[meowchef]

I guessed on every single question. I got 13/24. I am from Kansas.

 

[SenseOfTumour]

Root above certainly understand Britishness far more than Cameron, but then Cameron doesn't know much about Britain that his butler hasn't told him.

Hilarious to think they're testing 'Britishness' by asking questions about our culture and history, something we're generally almost proud of being ignorant about.

Surely failing the test should be proof you're going to integrate perfectly. If there's anything the brits don't like it's a smartarse, or a winner.

On top of that, we're using this to stop immigrants getting in, when most of our history is based on us showing up in other countries, just wandering and demanding free stuff like food and land.

At least most immigrants don't force their way into the country with guns then demand to put their own flag up and call it 'Immigrantland'.

 

[Dr Snakeman]

9/24. American citizen here. This may be the dumbest test ever. For most of it, I was blaming general government incompetence for how hard and pointless this test was. But when I got to that Halloween question, I knew they were just trolling us.

Seriously, what does a person's reaction to a bunch of punk-ass kids have to do with eligibility for citizenship? The question was particularly dumb, since "run outside with a baseball bat, yelling at the top of your lungs to 'get the hell off my lawn, you little pricks'" wasn't an option.

Tsk, tsk. Is that the kind of roll-over-and-take-it attitude they're promoting over there now? What a shame.

Edit: Oh, it was just talking about standard trick-or-treating? Well, then, disregard my belligerent reaction. The test just made it sound, not like a bunch of kids in costumes asking for candy (which is what the holiday is all about), but like some teenagers getting ready to egg your house.

It's still a stupid question, but for slightly different reasons. I just didn't want anyone thinking I was that much of an asshole.

 

[Branches]

10/34. It wasn't too bad. Then again it's the xenophobic Brits.

 

[manaman]

Also post your scores. I failed with 15/24, even though I'm a citizen by birth

Ha nice. I got the same score, and I is 'mericun.

Failed with 6/24 and I'm a UK resident.

Wait what? How is that even possible.

 

[Chaosweaver]

11/24 and from Australia. I did know the quango question, though. All those years of watching Yes, Prime Minister has paid off.

 

[Craorach]

Failed with flying colours, and I was raised and lived in England for the first 26 years of my life.

Really pathetic, honestly, and what is most laughable is that xenophobic twits will still insult immegrants while those immegrants apparently know more about England than the English.

 

[Craorach]

Anyone get the feeling from this that the UK education system needs some help?

Not really, the education system should be concentrating on important things..like, you know, maths, literacy, science.

Many of the things on that test are just straight up pointless information, or terrible steriotypes. Some are even localised culture things.

There is a question about halloween and "How do you stop kids from tricking you.." Frankly, how did I stop them? Tell them to get the fuck off my property.

That apparentrly means I shouldn't be a UK citizen?

 

[Darius Brogan]

I passed 24/24, and I'm not a UK citizen.

I knew half because of a combination of random trivia and common sense, but the other 12 were completely fucking blind luck, and I'm surprised I got them right.
Seriously.
I must have half a leprechaun hidden somewhere on my person.

Technically, I guess I got 12/24, but I did get them right.

 

[Thumper17]

Horrible test, lots of stuff that didnt help me at all with understanding how the coutnry works.

14 out of a possible 24 was my score.I thought I was goingto do worse, but I am Canadian. So thats almost british.

 

[kevinsux909]

Living in New Zealand and failing, I am uncertain whether to be embarrassed or not.

 

[Semitendon]

11/24, Not from the UK.

Matter of fact, aside from the Halloween question, I guessed at every single one. Which means, with even the slightest bit of study, I could have passed this test, considering I was almost at 50% while barely knowing how to spell UK, let alone details about the society.

 

[Bihac]

9/24 and I'm a UK Citizen (and studied history at A level)

 

[Von Strimmer]

I failed with only 10 Questions correct (from Australia btw).

Oh well if I want to gain permanent residence in the UK I'll just do it the proper way and strap myself to the bottom of the Eurostar and enter illegaly

Also to any Australians here try out the Norfolk Island citizenship test >:-D

Another edit* I want to see Yahtzee's results to this test.