Poll: Uwe Boll

[cuddly_tomato]

Another year, another video game idea butchered by a certain angry German dude. In case anyone missed it, he made a film loosely based on the Dungeon Seige games called In the Name of the King. Unusually for a Boll movie, it contains some actors who have actually learned something about acting in their time. Including the likes of Ron Pearlman...

And Burt Reynolds...

Ray Liota and Jason Statham are also in this film. What the fuck where these people thinking? Anyway, it has (predictably) turned into yet another disaster, just like all other films Boll has made. The question is this - if everything he makes turns to crap, why is he still doing it? Is there really something good about these films I am not picking up on? If so explain it too me please.

Ohh this film also has Mathew Lillard...

But he's hardly a top name actor now is he?

 

[axia777]

I think this one is a no brainer.

 

[meatloaf231]

But where would we get our hilariously bad game-movies?

 

[chuckman1]

Yes.

 

[Mariena]

Uwe Boll doesn't stop because he is:

"the only motherfucking genius in the whole terrible business" and that other directors such as Michael Bay and Eli Roth are "silly retards". He promises that his upcoming film Postal will be "way better than all that social-critic George Clooney trash that you get every boring weekend."

 

[PirateKing]

Well all video game movies suck, so we don't need Uwe to ensure that for us.

 

[new_age_reject]

Uwe Boll doesn't stop because he is:

"the only motherfucking genius in the whole terrible business" and that other directors such as Michael Bay and Eli Roth are "silly retards". He promises that his upcoming film Postal will be "way better than all that social-critic George Clooney trash that you get every boring weekend."

Please tell me that it is based upon the hideously crap but great game Postal.

 

[ZeroMachine]

I was kinda hoping that the poll would be less of an obvious question and more like
"Uwe Boll: How do we exterminate him?
- Fire
- Shooting
- Drowning
- Forcing him to sit through ten hours straight of his own movies"

 

[Mariena]

Uwe Boll doesn't stop because he is:

"the only motherfucking genius in the whole terrible business" and that other directors such as Michael Bay and Eli Roth are "silly retards". He promises that his upcoming film Postal will be "way better than all that social-critic George Clooney trash that you get every boring weekend."

Please tell me that it is based upon the hideously crap but great game Postal.

It is.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postal_(film)

 

[Shade Jackrabbit]

I was kinda hoping that the poll would be less of an obvious question and more like
"Uwe Boll: How do we exterminate him?
- Fire
- Shooting
- Drowning
- Forcing him to sit through ten hours straight of his own movies"

You kidding? He'd actually ENJOY that last one. =/

 

[ZeroMachine]

Uwe Boll doesn't stop because he is:

"the only motherfucking genius in the whole terrible business" and that other directors such as Michael Bay and Eli Roth are "silly retards". He promises that his upcoming film Postal will be "way better than all that social-critic George Clooney trash that you get every boring weekend."

Please tell me that it is based upon the hideously crap but great game Postal.

It is, but it's been out for years now. I've heard that it wasn't even bad to the point where it was funny. It was like it surpassed plain old "bad" and went to "so bad its funny" and then went further beyond that into the realm of "leprosy in film form"

 

[new_age_reject]

Uwe Boll doesn't stop because he is:

"the only motherfucking genius in the whole terrible business" and that other directors such as Michael Bay and Eli Roth are "silly retards". He promises that his upcoming film Postal will be "way better than all that social-critic George Clooney trash that you get every boring weekend."

Please tell me that it is based upon the hideously crap but great game Postal.

It is.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postal_(film)

Oh lawdeh!
I absolutely must attain a copy of this film no matter how horrendous it is.

 

[new_age_reject]

Uwe Boll doesn't stop because he is:

"the only motherfucking genius in the whole terrible business" and that other directors such as Michael Bay and Eli Roth are "silly retards". He promises that his upcoming film Postal will be "way better than all that social-critic George Clooney trash that you get every boring weekend."

Please tell me that it is based upon the hideously crap but great game Postal.

It is, but it's been out for years now. I've heard that it wasn't even bad to the point where it was funny. It was like it surpassed plain old "bad" and went to "so bad its funny" and then went further beyond that into the realm of "leprosy in film form"

The quality can take a nice side step this time, I must see that film.

 

[Zeromaxx]

I have a long running theory that Uwe Boll is actually the third Antichrist predicted by Nostradamus.

 

[cuddly_tomato]

"Uwe Boll: How do we exterminate him?
- Forcing him to sit through ten hours straight of his own movies"

Nobody deserves that.

Another screeny from this In the name of the King film that looks for all the world like an extremely cheap Xena knock-off.

Correct me if I am wrong, but there is the dwarf dude from the Lord of the Rings movies? He was also in the original Raiders of the Lost Ark and the TV show Sliders. He's not oscar material, but he can act. Surely he's not so hard up for roles he is working in Boll movies?

And Ray Liota?

Seriously? Ray fucking Liota? The dude out of Goodfellas? How did he sink so low that he had to appear in a Boll movie?

Has the credit crunch spread to the acting world, forcing actors to take any role, no matter how insane the director?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postal_(film)

From that link:-

Budget $18,000,000
Gross revenue $142,761

Can someone explain to me how he keeps making films?

 

[bazookabob]

Anyway, it has (predictably) turned into yet another disaster, just like all other films Boll has made. The question is this - if everything he makes turns to crap, why is he still doing it? Is there really something good about these films I am not picking up on? If so explain it too me please.

I would love to know where Boll finds the people to fund his films. My guess is he finds poor old lady philanthropists then boxes them to death for their money and to make himself feel better. He has in the past made statements challenging his critics to boxing matches. One such critic accepted the challenge (who was also a 6'1 kick boxer) Uwe however never could be reached.

 

[DrunkenKitty]

The question isn't why does Boll keep making movies. It's a job and he gets paid for it. The question is why do producers keep investing money in him when all that he's made is the epitome of failure.

 

[Avatar Roku]

Man, I saw the last half hour or so of In The Name Of The King at a friend's house, and it truly was horrendous. It got to the point, though, that we wouldn't change the channel away from it, because it was so awful that it was actually interesting. Also, I remember thinking "wow, this movie is just plain bad." Then, as soon as it ended, I saw "An Uwe Boll Film", and my first thought literally was "Oh, that explains it."