Poll: What are your thoughts on 'forced' marriages?

[lostclause]

I kind of agree with emu here. It's always sad to see a piece of tradition go, it makes the world that little bit less diverse. But overall I'm with Max, no-one should be forced into anything.

We'll have time for diversity when we're dead.
Now RAWK OUT (be different in the same way as everyone else!

When we're dead we're less different from everyone else!

 

[Erzengel]

Be understanding of other people's beliefs and tradtions in your replies.

No.

It's basically rape.
Tradition can go fuck itself.

Exactly. Forced genital mutliation is a cultural-religous tradition in some African countries. And "honor killings" of women who were raped are a cultural-religious tradition in many middle eastern countries. I'm not about to respect either of these just because they're long held beliefs and traditions. Why should I make an exception for a tradition that forces people into relationships that they don't get to choose for themselves?

I like yours, but I was going to go with:
The Mayans had a tradition to sacrifice human beings to make sure the sun would continue to rise, amongst other reasons. Should we have "respected" their traditions? No. We must make a determination of what is wrong for ourselves. Our laws forbid such murder, and they should forbid forced marriages.

I always have a problem with our desire for history. What's the point? Note it, record it, learn from it, then remove it to make way for the future.

 

[Skeleon]

I kind of agree with emu here. It's always sad to see a piece of tradition go, it makes the world that little bit less diverse. But overall I'm with Max, no-one should be forced into anything.

We'll have time for diversity when we're dead.
Now RAWK OUT (be different in the same way as everyone else!

When we're dead we're less different from everyone else!

Depends where and how you die.
For example, if you die in the summer months and it's dry weather, your corpse might become mummified with leathery skin and little germ-invasion.
If it's warm and wet, in an enclosed space, prepare for some serious decomposition!
And if it's winter, you might be very well preserved by the time they find you.
Oh, and all the variations inbetween!
Does it show that we just had lectures on forensic medicine?

 

[LongAndShort]

Out of interest, does anybody here feel there is a difference between forced marriages and arranged marriages?

I do, and while i disagree with both, i could tolerate arranged marriages.

 

[lostclause]

When we're dead we're less different from everyone else!

I dunno.
There are a lot of brands of plant food.

Which would you class yourself under? High end or low end?

Depends where and how you die.
For example, if you die in the summor months and it's dry weather, your corpse might become mummified with leathery skin and little germ-invasion.
If it's warm and wet, in an enclosed space, prepare for some serious decomposition!
And if it's winter, you might be very well preserved by the time they find you.
Oh, and all the variations inbetween!
Does it show that we just had lectures on forensic medicine?

To quote watchmen (or watchmen quoting the black freighter) 'all mannerisms and personality reduced to mere meat.' Anyway I think we're de-railing the thread. Apologies to the author.

 

[sumanoskae]

Amoral, inhumane, cold, I could go on but in short, like most things having to do with dictation, meh, makes me want to puke, and then beat up a politician, I don't respect any tradition that infringes on peoples rights and potently subjects them to a life of misery

 

[Knonsense]

I'm kind of unfamiliar with this practice unless you mean shotgun weddings, which are provoked but still not right.

 

[pantsoffdanceoff]

I was under the impression that it was already illegal. I think they should switch it in the polygamy which is illegal in the U.S. for nothing than more than the overly obvious christian foundation of our government.

 

[Daye.04]

But...who's tradition is this? It doesn't sound like any Muslim, Indian, English, Welsh, Scottish, Irish, or Carribean tradition I've heard of.

Islam has it. At least forced on the womens part. I'm not sure exactly how forced it has to be here, but I think that if one part is forced, that's way too bad.

Muslim tradition is that a man marries a girl younger than himself (About 16-20 when he's about ... Yeah, very much older). Then when he's tired of her, he goes on to the next wife (Still the same age, although he's gotten older). He doesn't divorce his old wife, but keeps her in the house to do housework and stuff. Now as with everything else, this doesn't apply to every muslim. But it's way too common

 

[Adam]

I can see the point of forced marriages, your parents choosing what they believe would be a good wife/husband for you. But this isnt the old days, in the modern age of the presant we have the right to choose who we should spend our lives with. Even if we choose some complete asshole to marry it is still within our rights to choose

 

[Embright]

I'm not sure what assumptions are being made with the words "forced marriage" but assuming it's forced upon both individuals then culture will govern how they act. Under those circumstances I wonder, assuming they would be free to later on, what the divorce rate would be. I'm not sure but if someone knows is this what they somewhat practice in India or would the term "arranged marriage" be more appropriate?

With the assumption that forced marriage is more of men choosing women it seems we are back to slavery and women are nothing more than property. This seems to be the case in third world Arabian culture and I'm sure others but I would be surprised if it happen very often in first world societies.

 

[letsnoobtehpwns]

I can't open the link. I assume that it's either about marriage being planned for the child's entire life ,like in Asia, or shotgun weddings, like in America.

I'm tired and I don't feel like explaining myself. Forced marriages in Asia are bad, Forced shotgun weddings in America are ok.

 

[NeutralDrow]

But...who's tradition is this? It doesn't sound like any Muslim, Indian, English, Welsh, Scottish, Irish, or Carribean tradition I've heard of.

Islam has it. At least forced on the womens part. I'm not sure exactly how forced it has to be here, but I think that if one part is forced, that's way too bad.

Muslim tradition is that a man marries a girl younger than himself (About 16-20 when he's about ... Yeah, very much older). Then when he's tired of her, he goes on to the next wife (Still the same age, although he's gotten older). He doesn't divorce his old wife, but keeps her in the house to do housework and stuff. Now as with everything else, this doesn't apply to every muslim. But it's way too common

Which Muslims?

I know you said "not every Muslim," but considering that forced marriage is a violation of at least three Quranic rules I can think of, a few hadiths and fatwas, and likely countless others I'm not aware of, that is most definitely not an Islamic tradition. I feel justified in asking.

 

[Daye.04]

Which Muslims?

I know you said "not every Muslim," but considering that forced marriage is a violation of at least three Quranic rules I can think of, a few hadiths and fatwas, and likely countless others I'm not aware of, that is most definitely not an Islamic tradition. I feel justified in asking.

Why yes of course. This isn't forced, this is just almost voluntary. You know how politicians work? "Oh I didn't mean like that, when I said it exactly like that. I meant something else! Off the hook, hooray!". It's not written laws we're talking about here. It's about what's unspoken. The guy is just supposed to find a girl he likes - they're supposed to make a deal with the girl's parents about how much the guys should give her parents and how he's supposed to treat her and etc, etc, etc. And please note, the girl is not allowed to attend these meetings. That's just not how things are done. Everyone knows that. Stuff are hiddenbehind the curtains. All the damn time. You see. The interesting part is what is coming next

The girl is asked "Would you like to marry this old fat ugly bastard?". Her response? Let's just say it's highly adviced she does not say anything against it. In fact, the unspoken rule says that she's not even supposed to have a opinon about this - she's just supposed to be a damn bargain for whoever wants here. And if she was to find someone she actually liked? Well, that's a no. A big no. Well, not entirely. If she manages to make him ask her parents, and he has more than the wealthy fat fuck around the corner, then she can get her wish - usually not

 

[NeutralDrow]

Which Muslims?

I know you said "not every Muslim," but considering that forced marriage is a violation of at least three Quranic rules I can think of, a few hadiths and fatwas, and likely countless others I'm not aware of, that is most definitely not an Islamic tradition. I feel justified in asking.

Why yes of course. This isn't forced, this is just almost voluntary. You know how politicians work? "Oh I didn't mean like that, when I said it exactly like that. I meant something else! Off the hook, hooray!". It's not written laws we're talking about here. It's about what's unspoken. The guy is just supposed to find a girl he likes - they're supposed to make a deal with the girl's parents about how much the guys should give her parents and how he's supposed to treat her and etc, etc, etc. And please note, the girl is not allowed to attend these meetings. That's just not how things are done. Everyone knows that. Stuff are hiddenbehind the curtains. All the damn time. You see. The interesting part is what is coming next

The girl is asked "Would you like to marry this old fat ugly bastard?". Her response? Let's just say it's highly adviced she does not say anything against it. In fact, the unspoken rule says that she's not even supposed to have a opinon about this - she's just supposed to be a damn bargain for whoever wants here. And if she was to find someone she actually liked? Well, that's a no. A big no. Well, not entirely. If she manages to make him ask her parents, and he has more than the wealthy fat fuck around the corner, then she can get her wish - usually not

We're talking about forced marriage, not arranged marriage.

 

[Daye.04]

We're talking about forced marriage, not arranged marriage.

Oh, yes. I was a bit unclear on what the definitions where. I guess it was silly of me to think it was forced if one side did not want to marry this prick what so ever.

No, seriously. How can you think it's not forced, when she have to marry him whether she wants to or not?

 

[lostclause]

We're talking about forced marriage, not arranged marriage.

Hindu's have it i think. I know it's termed arranged marriage but since only the man can refuse for the girl it is forced marriage.

 

[NeutralDrow]

We're talking about forced marriage, not arranged marriage.

Oh, yes. I was a bit unclear on what the definitions where. I guess it was silly of me to think it was forced if one side did not want to marry this prick what so ever.

No, seriously. How can you think it's not forced, when she have to marry him whether she wants to or not?

Because she doesn't.

In an arranged marriage, the prospective married couple still have input. The amount of social pressure to conform to the decisions of one's parents or matchmakers varies according to area, of course (but then, so does acceptance of the tradition), but under Islamic law, the full consent of both bride and groom are needed for the marriage to be considered valid.

In a forced marriage, there's f***-all input from one or both marriage candidates. Given that coercion, according to Islamic law, automatically renders marriage void, I'll ask again: which Muslims are doing this in England?