Poll: What do you think of depression?

[SinisterGehe]

I suffer from depression because of the neurological and pain condition on my right hand, neck and torso... I can't sleep properly, I am unable to use my right hand properly and I am in constant pain and most of all I am losing my ability to play video-games... And If someone says that is a bad excuse of not doing stuff because I am depressed, I welcome them to join my world and see how shit it is to live like this, a world in which the simple task of using a spoon/fork/knife or hold pen properly is a fucking achievement...

I take Anti-depressants for 2 reasons, to relax my mind, release tension, help with depression and for the side-effect that the medication has: it increases tolerance for physical pain. I am getting pain counseling an psychological help to live and manage the physical and mental pain.

Tho there is different types of depression. I accept people depression if they really have a problem, but not depression like "My life is OK, I am healthy, I have friends, I have money and I have no real mental/health issues" - aka Emo depression... No one should play being depressed just because they can or want attention, it is not a thing to joke about really, it hurts people, it destroys lives and is a sign of real issues that should be dealt with.


But yeah: If you have a real proper issue to be depressed, I am OK with it, I might even try to help you with it since I know how it feels. But if you want to be depressed because you can or want attention I will slap you and tell you to act like a grown-up...

It is possible to be depressed "for no reason", until recently I had friends and a girlfriend who loved me. I was with my ex for 3 years, yet during that time I was still depressed.

The thing what I was referring to was more like; 'I am depressed just in sake to be depressed so I cna get attention". Underlying causes of depressions are something that should be taken seriously and treated. Example I was always thought to be a problem child, I had issues with getting along in social environments, I struggled with certain subjects in school but I was great in others, I was extremely talented in different arts for my age, I was stuck in routines and timetables and I was extremely "grown-up" for my age. 10 years later I get told I have Asperger's and I got help so I could learn to live in a environment that demand lot of social skills, in a worl in which I can not rely on timetables and routines everyday.
Back then I was thought that I am just "weird" and almost "socially stupid", but then they found a reason for my behavior and I got helped. After which my life changed.

The fact that you had a OK life when you look at it superficially. But maybe you had some subconscious issues bothering you, did you go and speak with a professional that could have figured it out? I hope you realize that there is much more to our behavior/feelings than we can consciously realize. You might had some haunting memory or a fear about future or something like that, did you have a stressful job? Or stress in school?
I started to suffer from depression all the sudden (which I got over in a year or so) when i subconsciously realized that I can not control things (such timetables, routines) and that many things in social environment are based on emotions, not on cold hard logic, I felt helpless in that kind of situation, I couldn't understand actions based on emotions. I felt useless, I didn't think that my actions had any results on anything, I felt small even in a small group of people. I still suffered about that, but the difference is that I got over it after a school psychiatrist pointed it out to me, I was able to work it out for the most parts. How the could I have known that my subconscious and conscious minds were fighting over something that seems easy and normal to others, seeing that I was just a child to who the Finnish grammar rules seemed impossibly illogical.

So, you might had some underlying reason that could have bothered you, subconscious mind is a powerful factor in our lives.But you weren't (I think) depressed without any reason, the reason wasn't clear. But you weren't depressed just for sake of being depressed or to get attention.

 

[Craorach]

I have all to much experience of depression, from all sides of the issue. A Paranoid Manic Depressive mother, borderline depression for myself at times and diagnosed depression for my wife prior to us meeting and during our first few years together after undealt with greif.

Depression, in its many different varieties, is a real thing. It is a terrible strain on the individual and their families. It can be overcome with proper concelling, support and perhaps medication.

However, it can also be a crutch.

I saw mine coming, I'd seen it in my mother in years, I knew the signs.. I was able to head it off by actively going out and seeking a better life.

My wife's was a direct result of her father passing away when she was young. Once we got her into councilling, and with me to support her, she has for the most part overcome it.

To this day we suffer from time to time, when life gets us down, when work is hard and people are mean.. but we go on, supporting each other and refusing to let it hurt us the way it once did.

My mother however uses it as a crutch. Heavily medicated for as long as I have known her, she uses her condition to avoid anything even remotely difficult or challanging, to forgive whatever hurt she may cause others and to blame my father for things entirely outside his control. She doesn't want to get better, because it takes effort to do so and forces us to face things we'd rather not.

Depression is massively over diagnosed. It seems these days you can be diagnosed with depression just for having a bad day or being upset about things it is reasonable to be upset about. It is also overmedicated.. even when real, medication cannot.. and should not.. be the only answer. Medication is there to support the recovery via other methods not to simply numb the pain forever.

 

[ilikepie59]

I had it for a couple of years, but a bit of medication and proper application of counselling and I'm now just a socially retarded introvert who doesn't get invited to parties. Not much has changed about my situation, but I do feel better about being a loner.

 

[damselgaming]

I dismiss it for an (admittedly) stupid reason. My mother suffers from it, and she is a *****, and she does nothing to combat it, and she is weak minded. Honestly, I think she just needs to cheer up or piss off. I know this is extreme generalisation but that's just the way I feel.

 

[Polarity27]

I dismiss it for an (admittedly) stupid reason. My mother suffers from it, and she is a *****, and she does nothing to combat it, and she is weak minded. Honestly, I think she just needs to cheer up or piss off. I know this is extreme generalisation but that's just the way I feel.

If anyone in that other thread wondered why I laugh at the idea that Escapist's commenters are of "unparalleled sophistication", replies like these would be why.

Sexism, entitlement, and ableism, all in one convenient cocktail!

ETA: Okay, I'll rescind the sexism since you can't be, but it's still a misogynist word choice.

Child, until you've lived in your mother's mind, you have absolutely no bloody clue what she's experiencing. None. The only redeeming thing is that you realize that's a ridiculous reason for dismissing it.

 

[damselgaming]

I dismiss it for an (admittedly) stupid reason. My mother suffers from it, and she is a *****, and she does nothing to combat it, and she is weak minded. Honestly, I think she just needs to cheer up or piss off. I know this is extreme generalisation but that's just the way I feel.

If anyone in that other thread wondered why I laugh at the idea that Escapist's commenters are of "unparalleled sophistication", replies like these would be why.

Sexism, entitlement, and ableism, all in one convenient cocktail!

ETA: Okay, I'll rescind the sexism since you can't be, but it's still a misogynist word choice.

Child, until you've lived in your mother's mind, you have absolutely no bloody clue what she's experiencing. None. The only redeeming thing is that you realize that's a ridiculous reason for dismissing it.

And until you've had your alcoholic mother put you in the hosptial and on the same night tell you that you should die, you will have no idea why I think of my mother that way.

I gave an honest reply and you have done nothing but show your elitist attude. Perhaps you should learn that personal experience can (shockingly) cause people to have a different outlook to your own.

 

[damselgaming]

I dismiss it for an (admittedly) stupid reason. My mother suffers from it, and she is a *****, and she does nothing to combat it, and she is weak minded. Honestly, I think she just needs to cheer up or piss off. I know this is extreme generalisation but that's just the way I feel.

If anyone in that other thread wondered why I laugh at the idea that Escapist's commenters are of "unparalleled sophistication", replies like these would be why.

Sexism, entitlement, and ableism, all in one convenient cocktail!

ETA: Okay, I'll rescind the sexism since you can't be, but it's still a misogynist word choice.

Child, until you've lived in your mother's mind, you have absolutely no bloody clue what she's experiencing. None. The only redeeming thing is that you realize that's a ridiculous reason for dismissing it.

And until you've had your alcoholic mother put you in the hosptial and on the same night tell you that you should die, you will have no idea why I think of my mother that way.

I gave an honest reply and you have done nothing but show your elitist attude. Perhaps you should learn that personal experience can (shockingly) cause people to have a different outlook to your own.

I'm so sorry dude, my mom is the same way. Just read my earlier reply to Polarity27.

I am a 'dudette' but thanks all the same.

And I totally agree, and if it is just an excuse she uses, then I have a totally skewed view on depression. But it is my only experience and until I something changes this for me then I am afraid that is my view.

 

[Polarity27]

I dismiss it for an (admittedly) stupid reason. My mother suffers from it, and she is a *****, and she does nothing to combat it, and she is weak minded. Honestly, I think she just needs to cheer up or piss off. I know this is extreme generalisation but that's just the way I feel.

If anyone in that other thread wondered why I laugh at the idea that Escapist's commenters are of "unparalleled sophistication", replies like these would be why.

Sexism, entitlement, and ableism, all in one convenient cocktail!

ETA: Okay, I'll rescind the sexism since you can't be, but it's still a misogynist word choice.

Child, until you've lived in your mother's mind, you have absolutely no bloody clue what she's experiencing. None. The only redeeming thing is that you realize that's a ridiculous reason for dismissing it.

And until you've had your alcoholic mother put you in the hosptial and on the same night tell you that you should die, you will have no idea why I think of my mother that way.

I gave an honest reply and you have done nothing but show your elitist attude. Perhaps you should learn that personal experience can (shockingly) cause people to have a different outlook to your own.

Nope, still doesn't make the ableism okay. First, you're not just hurting your mother with that attitude about depression, but *everyone else who has it*. Second, do you really think you're saying anything that people with disabilities haven't heard seven million times already? "I don't think it's real because I know that my mother/my brother/my friend/my roommate's third parakeet is faking and just needs to stop (being disabled)". I don't care what your mother did, it doesn't make what you just said not offensive.

(And FWIW, my mother was an alcoholic and abusive too. You're not the only one with personal experiences, you know. I'm also married to a man with the disease you think doesn't exist-- and you've not only invalidated his reality, but that of anyone who lives with and around him. Also? I'm disabled myself. With a disease that half the uneducated internet thinks doesn't exist-- apparently people are unable to read scientific journals now. Science, how the hell does it work?)

 

[Nieroshai]

My thoughts: it is VERY real, but only rarely should the treatment be chemical. The more the symptoms are covered up, the more likely the depression is to just fester underneath. What depression should really be treated with is dependent on the person, but it takes a degree of meaningful social interaction. It took a girlfriend to bring me out of my shell, as well as being scared as hell I actually would commit suicide if I didn't turn things around. Everyone's different, and the depression can be deeper or shallower, but people is where the cure's at. Which people depends.

 

[chaosyoshimage]

Well, I have anxiety attacks sometimes and have basically shut myself off from the world for 18 months trying to avoid social contact as best as I could. I think I have some kind of anxiety disorder (I've never seen anybody about it and I try to control my emotions when I'm around people) and that has brought me into serious states of depression. It's been like this for 6 years and I'm not sure if I'll ever "get over it". I'm trying to fix my life one step at a time, though and doing everything in my power to fight it especially since it's gotten worse in recent months.

 

[Nieroshai]

I dismiss it for an (admittedly) stupid reason. My mother suffers from it, and she is a *****, and she does nothing to combat it, and she is weak minded. Honestly, I think she just needs to cheer up or piss off. I know this is extreme generalisation but that's just the way I feel.

If anyone in that other thread wondered why I laugh at the idea that Escapist's commenters are of "unparalleled sophistication", replies like these would be why.

Sexism, entitlement, and ableism, all in one convenient cocktail!

ETA: Okay, I'll rescind the sexism since you can't be, but it's still a misogynist word choice.

Child, until you've lived in your mother's mind, you have absolutely no bloody clue what she's experiencing. None. The only redeeming thing is that you realize that's a ridiculous reason for dismissing it.

And until you've had your alcoholic mother put you in the hosptial and on the same night tell you that you should die, you will have no idea why I think of my mother that way.

I gave an honest reply and you have done nothing but show your elitist attude. Perhaps you should learn that personal experience can (shockingly) cause people to have a different outlook to your own.

Nope, still doesn't make the ableism okay. First, you're not just hurting your mother with that attitude about depression, but *everyone else who has it*. Second, do you really think you're saying anything that people with disabilities haven't heard seven million times already? "I don't think it's real because I know that my mother/my brother/my friend/my roommate's third parakeet is faking and just needs to stop (being disabled)". I don't care what your mother did, it doesn't make what you just said not offensive.

(And FWIW, my mother was an alcoholic and abusive too. You're not the only one with personal experiences, you know. I'm also married to a man with the disease you think doesn't exist-- and you've not only invalidated his reality, but that of anyone who lives with and around him. Also? I'm disabled myself. With a disease that half the uneducated internet thinks doesn't exist-- apparently people are unable to read scientific journals now. Science, how the hell does it work?)

While I agree with you for the most part, it is the very viewinng of depression as a disease that makes it often incurable. I cured mine through willpower, not pills, and most people with depression would get better if they could find tthe thing that is uniquely their part of the human experience. Depression is literally a state where the sufferer has lost grasp of what makes them feel life worth living, not because their genes are off. I in no way say like the person you're arguing with that depression sufferers should get off their asses and cure themselves, I'm saying from experience that it is in no way an incurable disease of the flesh.

 

[damselgaming]

Nope, still doesn't make the ableism okay. First, you're not just hurting your mother with that attitude about depression, but *everyone else who has it*. Second, do you really think you're saying anything that people with disabilities haven't heard seven million times already? "I don't think it's real because I know that my mother/my brother/my friend/my roommate's third parakeet is faking and just needs to stop (being disabled)". I don't care what your mother did, it doesn't make what you just said not offensive.

(And FWIW, my mother was an alcoholic and abusive too. You're not the only one with personal experiences, you know. I'm also married to a man with the disease you think doesn't exist-- and you've not only invalidated his reality, but that of anyone who lives with and around him. Also? I'm disabled myself. With a disease that half the uneducated internet thinks doesn't exist-- apparently people are unable to read scientific journals now. Science, how the hell does it work?)

Jesus Christ, look, I gave my opinion, I explained why I had that opinion, you have every right to have a different one, but theres no need to belittle someone like this. Each to their own much? I don't consider my mother to have a disability, I consider her to have an excuse, one that she uses at every opportunity to combat something awful she has said/done. If she won't accept that her friends/daughters/husband and mother are getting hurt by things she says and does, AND refuses to accept that she needs help, what else am I supposed to think.

I am sorry if I offended you, but maybe you should just except that others have different opinions.

 

[McNoobin]

I usually look at life like "you have to focus on the positive things in life and shrug off your misfortunes to be happy" but that's just for me. Everybody experiences things differently and not everyone can get passed traumatic situations through the same methods of thinking or therapy. and I don't look down at people who are depressed just because they don't think like me
I think those people that do "dismiss" depression as people just being whiny are the same people that hate people for not liking the same kind of music or don't agree with their political views and whatnot...

and I think I finally figured out those anti-depressants with "thoughts of suicide" as side effects. it's like a scapegoat because they know it doesn't 100% suppress depression (none do) so if they do go over the edge even on their medication and commit suicide, they can't get sued.

 

[Polarity27]

While I agree with you for the most part, it is the very viewinng of depression as a disease that makes it often incurable. I cured mine through willpower, not pills, and most people with depression would get better if they could find tthe thing that is uniquely their part of the human experience. Depression is literally a state where the sufferer has lost grasp of what makes them feel life worth living, not because their genes are off. I in no way say like the person you're arguing with that depression sufferers should get off their asses and cure themselves, I'm saying from experience that it is in no way an incurable disease of the flesh.

The genes aren't the problem with chronic chemical depression, the neurochemistry is. As for the cure, the science is reasonably strong on it being a multi-modal approach: medication (the *right* medication, which is a very individual thing) plus cognitive therapy plus exercise plus interaction.

If you cured depression with willpower, you almost certainly didn't have that kind of depression. Situational depression (depression because of life circumstances) is a horse of a very different color, and the overwhelming majority of the knobs on the internet who tell people that all you need is sunshine and exercise are talking about situational depression. But you can't fix messed up neurochemistry by willpower any more than I can will my cerebral palsy and fibromyalgia to poof out of existence or wish for a pony and magic one up in my living room.

But I agree with you about how hard it is to seek help. It's also hard to diagnose-- I wish I'd saved the reference when I ran across this study at work, because I read a study that showed that GPs don't understand it and don't know how to screen for it, so it goes underdiagnosed. (Or they'll just prescribe a pill and expect it to automagically fix things.) What I've seen in my husband is that he's always been this way and literally has no idea how people without depression see the world, so doesn't seek help beyond his GP because he doesn't understand what "better" would look like, and I have no idea how to convince him. The same thing, I suspect, with Nicole's mom-- she sees the world through a damaged filter, but because she doesn't see that it could ever be different, the world looks mad, not them.

 

[spartandude]

I'm clinicly depressed and have 2 suicide attempts

im now on medication for it and am now much better, but yh its quite serious