Death never affects you except in absolutes. You are alive one moment, then you are not the next.
It is a far bigger hell for the survivors.
The curse of a large family is that I've experienced all sorts of death first hand.
I know from experience that Sudden, but mostly expected is the hardest to take. My mom died last year due to massive heart failure. 2 years before that, she had a quad bypass. We all tricked ourselves into thinking that she could live another 30 years with that surgery. This type of death leaves more what if questions than the others types. We could have done more to prepare for her death by knowing that it was only going to add months, not decades to her life.
Sudden deaths are hard, but are easier to overcome. My cousin closest in age Josh had an artery in his chest burst and before anything could be done, he bled to death. It was so fast that not even a hospital could save him. It was unexpected, sudden, but easier to live with. I do not think about often.
Knowing when someone is going to die is easier to take. My aunt Betty knew she was going to die. She allowed herself to die last August. Again, hard, but she made a choice and that took most of the pain way. Plus we said our good byes knowing she was aware of them.
What's worse is dead in everything but. My grandmother is the healthiest person in the world physically. She does not have heart problems, no cancer to speak of, nor other impediments a long life could give her. She's functionally brain dead, a husk of the woman she used to be.
It is a far bigger hell for the survivors.
The curse of a large family is that I've experienced all sorts of death first hand.
I know from experience that Sudden, but mostly expected is the hardest to take. My mom died last year due to massive heart failure. 2 years before that, she had a quad bypass. We all tricked ourselves into thinking that she could live another 30 years with that surgery. This type of death leaves more what if questions than the others types. We could have done more to prepare for her death by knowing that it was only going to add months, not decades to her life.
Sudden deaths are hard, but are easier to overcome. My cousin closest in age Josh had an artery in his chest burst and before anything could be done, he bled to death. It was so fast that not even a hospital could save him. It was unexpected, sudden, but easier to live with. I do not think about often.
Knowing when someone is going to die is easier to take. My aunt Betty knew she was going to die. She allowed herself to die last August. Again, hard, but she made a choice and that took most of the pain way. Plus we said our good byes knowing she was aware of them.
What's worse is dead in everything but. My grandmother is the healthiest person in the world physically. She does not have heart problems, no cancer to speak of, nor other impediments a long life could give her. She's functionally brain dead, a husk of the woman she used to be.
