Poll: What is a friend to you?

[Vigormortis]

I thought I knew what a friend was. I even had it in my head that I could trust those I thought of as friends.

But then Facebook and other "social" networks became a thing and it seems just about everyone forgot what a friend was.

Couple that with my growing apathetic, misanthropic pragmatism[footnote]For the record, though, I still consider myself an optimistic humanist. And yes, I'm aware of the contradiction.[/footnote] and I've come to realize I don't really have that many (if any) friends nowadays.

Don't get me wrong. I'm still sociable with people. I have a wealth of colleagues and loose associates; both offline and on. It's just that I don't feel as though I have any friends in the traditional "people I trust implicitly" sense of the word.

Take that as you will.

 

[manic_depressive13]

I don't know you, and it's not my place, but I'll say it anyway... Everyone is good enough. And you are too. They just weren't strong enough to be your friend.

That's really sweet and thanks for trying. But I doubt they were weak. I just wasn't worth the effort. If I had been a better friend they'd have wanted to stand up for me.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Someone I can feel comfortable around, being myself and stuff, and vice versa. No bullshit in between. I love my friends.

 

[Sleepy Sol]

I'm not sure, myself. My best friend could probably count for all of the poll options. But he's my only friend in real life that reaches that level. I'm rather anti-social so I tend not to talk to a lot of people, but I always find myself to be comfortable talking to or hanging out with him.

Online-wise, I've made plenty of friends in MMOs. The majority of those friendships have lasted years. Even then, there are things about myself I will hide from them, mostly out of my own insecurity. I definitely cherish them, but they don't always fully substitute for real-life communication. In my case (in terms of real-life interaction), I can't hide much in real life, and I never was the 'popular' type, so I felt that not many people really cared about me. The people that do care (which I perceive as a pretty small group) tend to be my biggest friends.

 

[Euryalus]

A friend sticks by you
When things are very much blue
And lends you a hand

 

[Mr Fixit]

I almost picked "Someone I can always trust", but I've had people that I trusted completely turn on me over some extremely petty bullshit, so that's out. I don't really trust anyone anymore.

I went with "Somebody I know very well and that the friendship is clear and known for both sides". The only people that I can say are actually my friends are people I've known for a very long time or been romantically involved with & had a good mutual split. Even though I consider them my friends I can't really say that I actually trust them.

 

[Frission]

Isn't there an 'all of the above' button? There's some people you're friends with because they're fun company, some because they're interesting and some because you simply trust them and respect their integrity.

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

If I consider someone a friend (not in the social media defined way) then they're considered family I can pick and choose. Basically being my friend means I'll back you up, even driving across 3 state lines pushing the speed limit to bail your dumb ass out of jail (not necessarily a specific example). There's more to it than that, but things I wouldn't inconvenience myself to do for "regular" folks, my friends would get special treatment for.
Anyone who knows they're my friend knows that I'll be there, and they're also likely to do the same for me. True friends are family you're not related by blood to.

 

[FootloosePhoenix]

There are many different kinds of friendships, but at bare minimum, I would consider someone a friend if we both desired to and voluntarily talked/hung out with each other, for no other reason than each other's company. I would say this is sufficiently broad enough to encompass a wide variety of friendships, but also carries a degree of exclusivity, so that not every person you talk to is your friend. Even if you don't actually have time to be around them that often, it's the thought that counts. Not just 'cause you're bored and you can stand this person, but because you genuinely find them interesting and would generally rather spend time with them than not (I say "generally" because alone time is important for pretty much everyone, too). I think that's the root of friendship. Everything else, as far as I'm concerned, is a bonus.

Based on this definition, most of the people I know I would classify as acquaintances, with very few yet highly treasured "real" friends.

 

[Sigmund Av Volsung]

An ally!

Someone who can help me, and someone who can accept my help!

That is the mark for me!

 

[DeimosMasque]

Basically a friend to me can be any of those options on the poll except for the "No Such Thing as Friends" one. All those types of people are the types of people I would call friends. Hell one of my best friends I've never even met in real life.

 

[visiblenoise]

I think "clear and know to both sides" was a good way of putting it.

 

[laggyteabag]

Pretty much anyone who I will willingly spend time around. Sure, there are different levels of friendship, but the baseline requirement in my book is pretty much someone who I can go up and talk to at any point.

 

[The Almighty Aardvark]

Don't get me wrong. I'm still sociable with people. I have a wealth of colleagues and loose associates; both offline and on. It's just that I don't feel as though I have any friends in the traditional "people I trust implicitly" sense of the word.

Take that as you will.

Sounds a bit like me. I'm perfectly fine socializing with people, usually being one of the more active people in whatever conversations I'm in. I need some sort of setting for the interaction though, be it eating lunch with the people I work with, going out climbing, playing D&D, MtG, etc... The only problem is that I just about never get close enough with people that I'll just random talk with or make plans to hang out. Currently I've got around 2 people I can do that with. I'm dating one of them and often conversations with the other (especially in person) feel like it's a constant fight against an awkward silence.

Probably has something to do with the fact that I'm awful at talking to people one on one. I'm great in groups, but the second I'm alone with someone else I feel incredibly uncomfortable.

To that effect I suppose that I'd consider a friend someone who you would normally feel comfortable going out of your way to talk to or do something with.

 

[FPLOON]

Spoiler

OT: A tangible friend is someone you can talk and hang out with in a social manner... A digital friend is a human you talk and hang out with via the internet, for example... An imaginary friend is someone you talk and hang out with when you're all by yourself...

To me, I only have best friends... since friends, in general, are more temporary than best friends, which stick with you for the longest time...

 

[Extra-Ordinary]

Mm, that's a tricky question.
All of those options up there, I, and I'm sure many others, have friends that fall into those categories but I can't lump *all* of them into one bubble. I have friends that are real entertainers but I wouldn't exactly go to them for emotional help. On the other hand, I have friends that I completely trust to help me out of a low place but they aren't great at parties.
I don't know, people are different, I'm friends with different people for different reasons.

 

[Kae]

Someone that comes to me, I'm not a good friend I'll never go to your house and pay you a visit, I'll never ask you how your doing, hell I won't even acknowledge your existence unless you're there, so that means that the only people I can be friends with are the ones that come to me, which is only one person and I'm fine with that, I've had lots of people that seemed like they might become friends but they all just give up on me because I always say no when someone asks me to go with them, I don't really like going out, so obviously my only friend is some girl that shows up at my house every now and again, most of the time we don't even talk but it's kinda nice to have company, though I probably wouldn't mind if she never showed up again since I'm used to being alone anyway.