Poll: What would you do if a girl was crying in front of you?
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Never heard of Tween Movie, and I'm 23, not 12. I understand that it's confusing, but I'm still happy to play the Captain Planet Themesong, or Pokemon Themesong, loudly and in public. THAT'S JUST FUN!!Akalistos said:
As for "dragging women down to my level"- actually maturity has taught me that you need to understand and embrace the paradox. Immaturity had me believe that you settled for whoever was the least objectionable and just hoped the misery and boredom didn't overtake you before the kids were old enough to cope with divorce. There's a book I've been reading lately called "Women Who Run with the Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Have a look; that explains the paradox better than I ever could.
As for defensive; actually I like people and discussions that make me question myself. I believe it's the only way to grow.
BTW, the Uwe name doesn't mean anything to me either. I'm AUSTRALIAN. I don't think we even HAVE whatever that is over here. And maybe using Twilight would have been a better example. I read them when forced, haven't seen the movies, and think pining over Edward is a waste of time. For a start, he likes personality-less idiots, and for another, someone who crept into my room to watch me sleep is a creepy stalker, not a romantic gesture.
I actually had this situation a few weeks back.
I was sitting on a bench, waiting for the bus, and beside me a teenager girl quietly sobbing.
I asked her if I could help, or if she wanted to be left alone.
She just moved over against me (it was a very cold night), I put my arms around her and we waited till the bus came. We did not talk, I did not want to know the reason, and she did not want to tell, us beeing complete strangers, and it was alright.
And I frankly don´t care if her reason might have been trivial, I was given the feeling that I made her feel better, and that just felt great. ;-)
Of course I am female, so it may be something different.
If I were ever to cry in public (can´t see that happening) I would wish for the men to leave me alone, it is not their place to come bugging me, adding to my embarresment.
Another female, however, would perhaps have the good sense to come and move me out of sight first, and I would be very greatfull for that.
I was sitting on a bench, waiting for the bus, and beside me a teenager girl quietly sobbing.
I asked her if I could help, or if she wanted to be left alone.
She just moved over against me (it was a very cold night), I put my arms around her and we waited till the bus came. We did not talk, I did not want to know the reason, and she did not want to tell, us beeing complete strangers, and it was alright.
And I frankly don´t care if her reason might have been trivial, I was given the feeling that I made her feel better, and that just felt great. ;-)
Of course I am female, so it may be something different.
If I were ever to cry in public (can´t see that happening) I would wish for the men to leave me alone, it is not their place to come bugging me, adding to my embarresment.
Another female, however, would perhaps have the good sense to come and move me out of sight first, and I would be very greatfull for that.
I've had this happen a few times.
One was a random stranger, that I simply avoided because, TBH, I wasn't interested in dealing with any drama.
The other was more recent, a student of a colleague. He somehow became convinced that as I'm female I'd be able to comfort her. How wrong he was. She was being a drama queen and I had to ask her to leave because she was disrupting a class. Turned out she was crying over ridiculous BS, and this went on for several weeks. She'd show up sobbing, and it would get louder if no one was paying her any attention. I actually watched her one day, she's start sniffling, look around to see if anyone would notice, and the act got progressively more involved until someone would 'acknowledge her'.
I was sorely tempted to say something along the lines of, 'if you don't stop crying I'll give you something to cry about.' But that would have been unprofessional of me, so I didn't. Interestingly she's no longer pulling this little routine.
Oh and I should add all my students are 18 and over, these are not children so this sort of thing should NOT be going on, unless they've had a legit problem.
And failing to understand statistics is NOT a reason to cry.
One was a random stranger, that I simply avoided because, TBH, I wasn't interested in dealing with any drama.
The other was more recent, a student of a colleague. He somehow became convinced that as I'm female I'd be able to comfort her. How wrong he was. She was being a drama queen and I had to ask her to leave because she was disrupting a class. Turned out she was crying over ridiculous BS, and this went on for several weeks. She'd show up sobbing, and it would get louder if no one was paying her any attention. I actually watched her one day, she's start sniffling, look around to see if anyone would notice, and the act got progressively more involved until someone would 'acknowledge her'.
I was sorely tempted to say something along the lines of, 'if you don't stop crying I'll give you something to cry about.' But that would have been unprofessional of me, so I didn't. Interestingly she's no longer pulling this little routine.
Oh and I should add all my students are 18 and over, these are not children so this sort of thing should NOT be going on, unless they've had a legit problem.
And failing to understand statistics is NOT a reason to cry.
For the first part... for some reason I find that really moving. Just the image of two people randomly coming together, saying nothing, and then just drifting apart. It reminds me of certain anime images, the picture-book story from Chobits especially. Just... awwww.Crystalite said:
To the second part: I'm not sure if I'd tell all guys to disappear. I know if I'm physically hurt and crying I'll be more embarrassed (so if I break my arm and any of you see it, and I try to use that broken arm to punch you for wanting to help me up, I'm so sorry!) If it's emotional pain, and it's gotten so bad that I'm now breaking down in public, then I probably just want someone, ANYONE to actually listen to me. Once I'm heard, I can generally move on from whatever it is that's been hurting me.
The girl crying to get attention... WTF. I have never looked around to see who's there and started crying. If all my friends are there and I've been under/in a lot of emotional distress, then sometimes just feeling all the love and care around me is enough to make me lose it. I always feel like a completely idiot though. And I would never, never, start crying in public unless it was involuntary. I might be blindly running for the counsellor's office and go cry in their waiting room while making an appointment, but not on the lawn for lunch or whatever. Seriously, what the ???Necrotisingfasciitis said:
On the other hand, if failing statistics is going to lose you a scholarship that's paying for you to go to school so you can support your incredibly poor family that desperately needs the help, then crying over failing to understand statistics is more than fine, it's the first step in confronting the feelings around statistics so you can move on, pass the negative attitudes and mental roadblocks, and get on with it. Any other reason, erm, no.
Wow.. That's exactly the opposite of what I would try. Thanks, I never expected a whole ''walkthrough''. I'll keep it in mind.Elle-Jai said:
I thought about this question some more, and here's my new answer:
1. I'd definitely ask her what was wrong, but I'd be most likely to do that if it was a cute girl; that is goth, punk, emo, etc. I mean, I'd probably ask what's wrong anyway, but if it was any of these categories I'd feel more enthusiastic about it.
2. And the reason is that, not having that many friends, I'd be grateful for a chance to interact socially with somebody, and a chance, however small, of making a new friend.
1. I'd definitely ask her what was wrong, but I'd be most likely to do that if it was a cute girl; that is goth, punk, emo, etc. I mean, I'd probably ask what's wrong anyway, but if it was any of these categories I'd feel more enthusiastic about it.
2. And the reason is that, not having that many friends, I'd be grateful for a chance to interact socially with somebody, and a chance, however small, of making a new friend.
Depends...
If she's bawling in the way that makes everyone painfully uncomfortable around them, I would most likely go deer-in-the-headlights and wait until she settled down a bit.
If she's just shedding a few tears, I feel more comfortable asking what's wrong.
Then again, it also depends on if it's my girlfriend who I can hug or is it just some random stranger I see crying on my way to the bathroom.
Either way, crying doesn't necessarily make you weak. That's just stupid. People tend to be very honest with themselves when they cry, and it can sometimes show people just how much you care or how much you're struggling with something, etc. Bottling things up is worse.
If she's bawling in the way that makes everyone painfully uncomfortable around them, I would most likely go deer-in-the-headlights and wait until she settled down a bit.
If she's just shedding a few tears, I feel more comfortable asking what's wrong.
Then again, it also depends on if it's my girlfriend who I can hug or is it just some random stranger I see crying on my way to the bathroom.
Either way, crying doesn't necessarily make you weak. That's just stupid. People tend to be very honest with themselves when they cry, and it can sometimes show people just how much you care or how much you're struggling with something, etc. Bottling things up is worse.
Tween movie: Movie for Pre-Adolescent to Adolescent. Twilight is one, but not the only one.Elle-Jai said:Never heard of Tween Movie, and I'm 23, not 12. I understand that it's confusing, but I'm still happy to play the Captain Planet Themesong, or Pokemon Themesong, loudly and in public. THAT'S JUST FUN!!Akalistos said:
As for "dragging women down to my level"- actually maturity has taught me that you need to understand and embrace the paradox. Immaturity had me believe that you settled for whoever was the least objectionable and just hoped the misery and boredom didn't overtake you before the kids were old enough to cope with divorce. There's a book I've been reading lately called "Women Who Run with the Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Have a look; that explains the paradox better than I ever could.
As for defensive; actually I like people and discussions that make me question myself. I believe it's the only way to grow.
BTW, the Uwe name doesn't mean anything to me either. I'm AUSTRALIAN. I don't think we even HAVE whatever that is over here. And maybe using Twilight would have been a better example. I read them when forced, haven't seen the movies, and think pining over Edward is a waste of time. For a start, he likes personality-less idiots, and for another, someone who crept into my room to watch me sleep is a creepy stalker, not a romantic gesture.
And i stand by what i said.