I used to actually be a drug addict, I've been clean for a while now, but perhaps I could offer some insight as, before I had ever tried any (and let me note here, that as someone who has some experience, I would strongly suggest against trying any) I also could not imagine what people found so attractive about drugs.
1) Altered states of consciousness: Drugs literally change the way you think, a website called Erowid.org contains written testimonies from users of just about any substance imaginable, it also contains lists of the effects for every drug. And one of the most commonly listed effects is "magical thinking." That is to say that people who are using drugs may have very different conceptions of the universe from you, when you're regularly using drugs, it seems that the universe is a place that can be understood, placed into magical rules far stranger than any you could possibly imagine while sober. Of course, coming back from this has a cost, and it's a big one at that. I have been mostly clean for a while, with exception made for a couple of very ill advised diphenhydramine trips, and part of the reason I decided to get clean is because I had completely disconnected from reality. Living in a magical world is fun at first, it's like a fantasy, but as you disconnect further and further from this world, you lose the emotional ties that make living in this world worthwhile, and the only thing that can dull the pain of losing those ties is using more drugs. Sobriety has helped some, but I still have to take every day one day at a time. Some nights I am besieged by conceptions of hell unlike any I had before I had ever used, disconnected from this world, lonely and afraid I'll be lonely forever. The more I connect with the world, the better it gets, but it'll never be completely better.
2) Altered feelings: If you think you've ever laughed before, you've probably never taken Nitrous Oxide, better known as laughing gas. This particular chemical is also known against druggies by another name, hippie crack, because the high is so addictive. The first times you take it, you just laugh, and you've not got the slightest clue why, but everything is so god damned funny it hurts. Nitrous Oxide is unique amongst drugs of abuse, because it has a reverse-tolerance affect, that is to say that the more you take it, the more it affects you. Further use causes your perception of time to literally slow down while you're high. And I hear that pure MDMA makes the happiness you feel from Nitrous look like nothing, though anyone considering trying it should be warned, experienced users suggest against taking MDMA more than 10-15 times over the course of your entire life, because after you've taken it more than that number of times, the rest of your life is so depressing by comparison, that some users never know what happiness feels like again. Amongst those unfortunate souls who have taken it to that extent, suicide is not uncommon.
3) It's one hell of an adventure: Ever met a ghost? I have. Not really of course, but I might as well have. The second time I took mescaline, was with a friend who was a trained hypnotist. In an unaltered state of consciousness, I am at best moderately succeptible to hypnosis, but while under the influence of mescaline... I closed my eyes, and with his voice as my guide I met a small ghost girl with whom I communed in a dark basement. I connected with her so much, that when my hypnotist friend directed me to exit hypnosis, I felt guilty about leaving her alone. Needless to say, without drugs, it is highly improbable that I could ever have had an experience like this. As my drug addiction worsened, I perfected my skills, learning self-hypnosis. I have met spirits, machine gods, and shit so strange I still have nightmares. I have flown across strange planets, levitated in front of massive turning pillars of light, and once I experienced what it was like to have a vagina. Let me reiterate, it is more than a little unlikely that I would have had any of these experiences without drugs.
The costs: Perhaps after what I've said, it's understandable why the allure of drugs is so strong. They offer an experience that literally can not be had any other way. That said, I feel very strongly now that it was not worth it. I am never going to be the person I was before I started using. It's hard for me to sleep at nights, I often become incredibly depressed (much more than I used to), and sometimes I still have terrible cravings. There are times I feel completely detached from reality, and afraid that I will never be able to come back to reality, or reconnect with another person, though my only hope is that I shall find myself wrong. Drugs will take more from you than you even realized you had to lose. They will show you heaven, and they will show you hell, and you'll never recover for having seen one or the other.
1) Altered states of consciousness: Drugs literally change the way you think, a website called Erowid.org contains written testimonies from users of just about any substance imaginable, it also contains lists of the effects for every drug. And one of the most commonly listed effects is "magical thinking." That is to say that people who are using drugs may have very different conceptions of the universe from you, when you're regularly using drugs, it seems that the universe is a place that can be understood, placed into magical rules far stranger than any you could possibly imagine while sober. Of course, coming back from this has a cost, and it's a big one at that. I have been mostly clean for a while, with exception made for a couple of very ill advised diphenhydramine trips, and part of the reason I decided to get clean is because I had completely disconnected from reality. Living in a magical world is fun at first, it's like a fantasy, but as you disconnect further and further from this world, you lose the emotional ties that make living in this world worthwhile, and the only thing that can dull the pain of losing those ties is using more drugs. Sobriety has helped some, but I still have to take every day one day at a time. Some nights I am besieged by conceptions of hell unlike any I had before I had ever used, disconnected from this world, lonely and afraid I'll be lonely forever. The more I connect with the world, the better it gets, but it'll never be completely better.
2) Altered feelings: If you think you've ever laughed before, you've probably never taken Nitrous Oxide, better known as laughing gas. This particular chemical is also known against druggies by another name, hippie crack, because the high is so addictive. The first times you take it, you just laugh, and you've not got the slightest clue why, but everything is so god damned funny it hurts. Nitrous Oxide is unique amongst drugs of abuse, because it has a reverse-tolerance affect, that is to say that the more you take it, the more it affects you. Further use causes your perception of time to literally slow down while you're high. And I hear that pure MDMA makes the happiness you feel from Nitrous look like nothing, though anyone considering trying it should be warned, experienced users suggest against taking MDMA more than 10-15 times over the course of your entire life, because after you've taken it more than that number of times, the rest of your life is so depressing by comparison, that some users never know what happiness feels like again. Amongst those unfortunate souls who have taken it to that extent, suicide is not uncommon.
3) It's one hell of an adventure: Ever met a ghost? I have. Not really of course, but I might as well have. The second time I took mescaline, was with a friend who was a trained hypnotist. In an unaltered state of consciousness, I am at best moderately succeptible to hypnosis, but while under the influence of mescaline... I closed my eyes, and with his voice as my guide I met a small ghost girl with whom I communed in a dark basement. I connected with her so much, that when my hypnotist friend directed me to exit hypnosis, I felt guilty about leaving her alone. Needless to say, without drugs, it is highly improbable that I could ever have had an experience like this. As my drug addiction worsened, I perfected my skills, learning self-hypnosis. I have met spirits, machine gods, and shit so strange I still have nightmares. I have flown across strange planets, levitated in front of massive turning pillars of light, and once I experienced what it was like to have a vagina. Let me reiterate, it is more than a little unlikely that I would have had any of these experiences without drugs.
The costs: Perhaps after what I've said, it's understandable why the allure of drugs is so strong. They offer an experience that literally can not be had any other way. That said, I feel very strongly now that it was not worth it. I am never going to be the person I was before I started using. It's hard for me to sleep at nights, I often become incredibly depressed (much more than I used to), and sometimes I still have terrible cravings. There are times I feel completely detached from reality, and afraid that I will never be able to come back to reality, or reconnect with another person, though my only hope is that I shall find myself wrong. Drugs will take more from you than you even realized you had to lose. They will show you heaven, and they will show you hell, and you'll never recover for having seen one or the other.
