Question in the title.
At this point even asking this feels like kicking a homeless person, but fuck it. The people involved in this are successful, talented and have loads of money. It's only right that we bash their cynical haphazard cash grabs.
For me the title goes to Suicide Squad by quite a margin. While Batman v Superman was undoubtedly poorly told, more pretentious, had an absolutely rancid depiction of Lex Luthor, and also staggeringly stupid, it had some elements that made up for its shortcomings: Batfleck, the massive destruction porn, even some unexpected turns (the bombing scene), occasional good cinematography and I was never bored while watching it. It's a 5/10 at best, but I've been thinking of watching the Ultimate edition to see if the rumors about the movie getting butchered in the studio are true.
For Suicide Squad I will make no excuses. Even if this movie got cut right down to the bone marrow, I don't think there's anything salvageable here. The writing is so poor that no extra scenes could save it. The music choices are absolutely horrid, and I seriously thought of walking out during the first 20-30 minutes. The tone zigzags from proper David Ayer grim to forced, cynical corporate "hey aren't we funny and wacky" quirkiness. The film is literally too dark in places to make sense of anything going on. The characters are shallow and thin as fuck, with El Diablo being the only one even remotely interesting or developed. The Joker is god-fucking-awful, and even if Jared Leto's supposed cut scenes were brilliant, his visual design is so hideous I can't get over it. The attempts at humor were 95% cringeworthy. The action was overwhelmingly underwhelming. The movie assumes its entire audience has had their brains replaced with mashed potatoes. No character development. Ugly visuals. Stodgy pacing. While it wasn't as stupid as BvS, it was just as poorly told, and I can't stress enough how horrid the music choices were. There is nothing about this film I could consider worth watching again by any standards.
But the frustrating thing about Suicide Squad is this: While I can't say I saw a good movie in there trying to get out (which I could say about BvS), I could see a whole slew of downright amazing movies leading up to it. Have we yet seen a superhero movie where the main character is a drug dealing gangbanger? Or a disfigured monstrosity like Killer Croc? Rick Flagg and Enchantress, you've got a whole movie's worth of material from just their 3 minutes of backstory, as you do with deadshot. While Guardians of the Galaxy was a vastly superior film, the backstories of Suicide Squad are infinitely more interesting than theirs, which can be basically summed up as Adventurer, Assassin, two Bounty Hunters and a vengeance seeker. Suicide Squad has genuine weight and tragedy behind them: a struggling father trying to stay moral despite his amoral profession, a remorseful gangbanger who's lost everything and only wants peace, a therapist who fell in love with her psycho patient... the list goes on.
Well this turned out way longer than I expected. Anyway, discuss.
God, Suicide Squad sucked.
At this point even asking this feels like kicking a homeless person, but fuck it. The people involved in this are successful, talented and have loads of money. It's only right that we bash their cynical haphazard cash grabs.
For me the title goes to Suicide Squad by quite a margin. While Batman v Superman was undoubtedly poorly told, more pretentious, had an absolutely rancid depiction of Lex Luthor, and also staggeringly stupid, it had some elements that made up for its shortcomings: Batfleck, the massive destruction porn, even some unexpected turns (the bombing scene), occasional good cinematography and I was never bored while watching it. It's a 5/10 at best, but I've been thinking of watching the Ultimate edition to see if the rumors about the movie getting butchered in the studio are true.
For Suicide Squad I will make no excuses. Even if this movie got cut right down to the bone marrow, I don't think there's anything salvageable here. The writing is so poor that no extra scenes could save it. The music choices are absolutely horrid, and I seriously thought of walking out during the first 20-30 minutes. The tone zigzags from proper David Ayer grim to forced, cynical corporate "hey aren't we funny and wacky" quirkiness. The film is literally too dark in places to make sense of anything going on. The characters are shallow and thin as fuck, with El Diablo being the only one even remotely interesting or developed. The Joker is god-fucking-awful, and even if Jared Leto's supposed cut scenes were brilliant, his visual design is so hideous I can't get over it. The attempts at humor were 95% cringeworthy. The action was overwhelmingly underwhelming. The movie assumes its entire audience has had their brains replaced with mashed potatoes. No character development. Ugly visuals. Stodgy pacing. While it wasn't as stupid as BvS, it was just as poorly told, and I can't stress enough how horrid the music choices were. There is nothing about this film I could consider worth watching again by any standards.
But the frustrating thing about Suicide Squad is this: While I can't say I saw a good movie in there trying to get out (which I could say about BvS), I could see a whole slew of downright amazing movies leading up to it. Have we yet seen a superhero movie where the main character is a drug dealing gangbanger? Or a disfigured monstrosity like Killer Croc? Rick Flagg and Enchantress, you've got a whole movie's worth of material from just their 3 minutes of backstory, as you do with deadshot. While Guardians of the Galaxy was a vastly superior film, the backstories of Suicide Squad are infinitely more interesting than theirs, which can be basically summed up as Adventurer, Assassin, two Bounty Hunters and a vengeance seeker. Suicide Squad has genuine weight and tragedy behind them: a struggling father trying to stay moral despite his amoral profession, a remorseful gangbanger who's lost everything and only wants peace, a therapist who fell in love with her psycho patient... the list goes on.
Deadshot: An action thriller combined with a family drama where Deadshot tries to keep his profession a secret while securing his family's future and well-being. A bit odd, but it could work.
Captain Boomerang: A crime comedy in the style of easrly Guy Ritchie movies where Cap keeps alienating himself from all potential accomplices and friends around him, but doesn't realize it before it's too late.
Harley & Joker: A twisted, dark romantic(ish?) comedy about a lunatic corrupting an innocent, well-meaning therapist over time
El Diablo: A gritty street drama of one man's rise to power, and eventual fall from grace ending in the tragedy of his family.
Katana: A fantasy romance drama with Katana and her husband's romance at the center.
Rick & Enchantress: A film about a man coming to face with something beyond his comprehension and then falling in love, while trying to balance his personal feelings and professional duty. A woman slowly withering away because of the power she now houses.
Croc: This could be a straight up horror movie. Or a crime thriller about a man slipping further and further into bloodlust and inhumanity.
Jesus, even my shitty made up in 10 seconds synopses for movies that don't exist sound better than the movie itself.
Captain Boomerang: A crime comedy in the style of easrly Guy Ritchie movies where Cap keeps alienating himself from all potential accomplices and friends around him, but doesn't realize it before it's too late.
Harley & Joker: A twisted, dark romantic(ish?) comedy about a lunatic corrupting an innocent, well-meaning therapist over time
El Diablo: A gritty street drama of one man's rise to power, and eventual fall from grace ending in the tragedy of his family.
Katana: A fantasy romance drama with Katana and her husband's romance at the center.
Rick & Enchantress: A film about a man coming to face with something beyond his comprehension and then falling in love, while trying to balance his personal feelings and professional duty. A woman slowly withering away because of the power she now houses.
Croc: This could be a straight up horror movie. Or a crime thriller about a man slipping further and further into bloodlust and inhumanity.
Jesus, even my shitty made up in 10 seconds synopses for movies that don't exist sound better than the movie itself.
Well this turned out way longer than I expected. Anyway, discuss.
God, Suicide Squad sucked.
