Poll: Would you date a transgendered person?

[BloatedGuppy]

So, obtaining consent on false grounds could get you charged with harassment.Personally, I'd rather avoid the problem outright by imposing laws that reconstructed genitals must be marked with a tattoo, or similar.

Ho ho ho ho holy shit.

I'd reconsider that idea. Minorities tend to be sensitive about the whole "let's mark the whole lot of them with tattoos" idea.

I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY.

 

[orangeban]

Not in a million years.

If someone told me they were previously male, I would never work up a romantic interest for them.
If someone I was dating told me they were male, then I'd break up with them, because our relationship would be based on a lie.

If we had sexual contact, I would break up, get very angry, then report them for sexual harassment. I had consent based on the belief that they were born female, rather than a restructured male.

The thought is appalling to me, and therefore, I vote no.

...I sincerely doubt any respectable court would accept that claim of sexual harassment. The sexual advances made were not understood to be unwelcome, consent to sex with this person was given regardless of your perception of your partner, and by all indications the act would be better interpreted as second thoughts after the fact rather than any real legal violation. It's closer to a frivalous lawsuit than anything else.

I actually looked it up.

There are legal precedents where people have been charged with sexual harassment for obtaining consent via false means. For instance, impersonating someone's lover and obtaining consent for sexual activities would get you charged.

Despite the fact that it'd possibly be interpreted as second thoughts after the fact, no?

So, obtaining consent on false grounds could get you charged with harassment.
Personally, I'd rather avoid the problem outright by imposing laws that reconstructed genitals must be marked with a tattoo, or similar.
In my opinion, if you end up in a position where you are showing off your genitals to someone else, chances are that the person in question deserves to know whether or not they were man-made, so to speak.

If the partner in question didn't mind carrying out romantic acts with a reconstructed person, then all is well and nobody has to do anything they regret.

I personally believe that relationships should be based upon honesty and if someone would hide such a thing about themselves, then they're not honest or good people.

If you take something a bit different, like HIV. Would you feel alright if someone neglected to inform you of that condition before having sex with you?
Chances are you wouldn't.

...and if you would, then you're clearly a better person than I am.

Perhaps rather than the transgendered person having to reveal something incredibly personal about themselves to everyone they might consider having a relationship with, maybe you should tell everyone that you refuse to date transsexual people.

Seems like it would save a lot of hassle and state mandated branding.

And they aren't "lying" to you by not telling you're they're transsexual, there simply not sharing personal secrets.

 

[MartianWarMachine]

Perhaps rather than the transgendered person having to reveal something incredibly personal about themselves to everyone they might consider having a relationship with, maybe you should tell everyone that you refuse to date transsexual people.

Seems like it would save a lot of hassle and state mandated branding.

And they aren't "lying" to you by not telling you're they're transsexual, there simply not sharing personal secrets.

I was JUST about to quote you and shout at the guy... T^T

 

[artanis_neravar]

Yes or no? Just curious. Comment to explain your reasoning if you feel the need. It's a fairly gay friendly site, but even gay friendly communities do tend to be a transphobic.

For the purposes of the poll, you can assume said transgendered person is passable, and has all the appropriate parts (post-op).

No I would not, I want kids and a MTF can not give me kids.

 

[emeraldrafael]

male here,and i would if she was interesting and we connected. Im not above it, and theres not much difference in bodies.

 

[Asita]

I actually looked it up.

There are legal precedents where people have been charged with sexual harassment for obtaining consent via false means. For instance, impersonating someone's lover and obtaining consent for sexual activities would get you charged.

Despite the fact that it'd possibly be interpreted as second thoughts after the fact, no?

So, obtaining consent on false grounds could get you charged with harassment.
Personally, I'd rather avoid the problem outright by imposing laws that reconstructed genitals must be marked with a tattoo, or similar.
In my opinion, if you end up in a position where you are showing off your genitals to someone else, chances are that the person in question deserves to know whether or not they were man-made, so to speak.

If the partner in question didn't mind carrying out romantic acts with a reconstructed person, then all is well and nobody has to do anything they regret.

I personally believe that relationships should be based upon honesty and if someone would hide such a thing about themselves, then they're not honest or good people.

If you take something a bit different, like HIV. Would you feel alright if someone neglected to inform you of that condition before having sex with you?
Chances are you wouldn't.

...and if you would, then you're clearly a better person than I am.

Those are not comparable situations. In the former involves one person pretending to be another person entirely. The transgendered scenario involves you not knowing certain aspects of their life. It's not "I thought she was my wife" so much as it is "You never told me you had a tattoo". In the latter, you're talking about a piece of medical knowledge that directly affects any and all sexual partners on a permanent basis. As much as you may find the idea of sleeping with an MtF transgendered person distasteful, it does not compare to someone neglecting to tell you that they had HIV, and it's insulting to both transgendered people and HIV victims to treat it as such.

 

[Olivia Faraday]

I would absolutely date a transgendered person if they were someone I was attracted to and who I could get along with on a personal level. That said, I'm pretty much a Kinsey 3 bisexual, so my opinion may weight less than someone else's? I like both types of junk.

 

[Ledan]

*snip*

I will still respond to your treatment of me as male, as if I were born female. I honestly dont give a fuck about your own gender bias, but I expect to be treated as a woman. I will treat you as a man, I expect the same respect.

Because you look like one? Then I demand to be treated like a vampire if I look like one. You haven't changed the fact that you are male. XY. Just like I havent changed myself from being human.

No, not because I look female, because I Identify as female, it is part of who I am. You disregarding that is the same as telling a gay person they're straight, you're not changing the truth, but attempting to ignore it.

And if I identify myself as a genius? Or vampire? Wouldn't make either of them true. You're still male. You may feel culturally more like a woman, but you will still be biologically male. I may concede to treat you like a woman/man, but you will never be just a woman. You'd be something new.
Anyways, how bout we bury the hatchet? Seems like we're not really going anywhere.

 

[The White Hunter]

Would have to be put in that situation to know to be honest. With any gender in any combination. Don't see why it wouldn't be worth a try! =D

 

[The White Hunter]

I actually looked it up.

There are legal precedents where people have been charged with sexual harassment for obtaining consent via false means. For instance, impersonating someone's lover and obtaining consent for sexual activities would get you charged.

Despite the fact that it'd possibly be interpreted as second thoughts after the fact, no?

So, obtaining consent on false grounds could get you charged with harassment.
Personally, I'd rather avoid the problem outright by imposing laws that reconstructed genitals must be marked with a tattoo, or similar.
In my opinion, if you end up in a position where you are showing off your genitals to someone else, chances are that the person in question deserves to know whether or not they were man-made, so to speak.

If the partner in question didn't mind carrying out romantic acts with a reconstructed person, then all is well and nobody has to do anything they regret.

I personally believe that relationships should be based upon honesty and if someone would hide such a thing about themselves, then they're not honest or good people.

If you take something a bit different, like HIV. Would you feel alright if someone neglected to inform you of that condition before having sex with you?
Chances are you wouldn't.

...and if you would, then you're clearly a better person than I am.

Those are not comparable situations. In the former involves one person pretending to be another person entirely. The transgendered scenario involves you not knowing certain aspects of their life. It's not "I thought she was my wife" so much as it is "You never told me you had a tattoo". In the latter, you're talking about a piece of medical knowledge that directly affects any and all sexual partners on a permanent basis. As much as you may find the idea of sleeping with an MtF transgendered person distasteful, it does not compare to someone neglecting to tell you that they had HIV, and it's insulting to both transgendered people and HIV victims to treat it as such.

You sir are correct > > I'd like to throw in that having sex with a transgendered individual and finding out after may be to somebodies distaste, however, having sex with an HIV positive individual and finding out afterwards is likely a much more serious concern to anybody with their priorities in the right order. Totally different issues < < -anticipates being flamed like always for using a reasonable amount of logic- [Not by you, I agree, by the guy you quoted, or some other dude on here]

 

[Spy_Guy]

-snip-

Perhaps rather than the transgendered person having to reveal something incredibly personal about themselves to everyone they might consider having a relationship with, maybe you should tell everyone that you refuse to date transsexual people.

Seems like it would save a lot of hassle and state mandated branding.

And they aren't "lying" to you by not telling you're they're transsexual, there simply not sharing personal secrets.

I actually do. Hell, I even explicitly ask. Worked with my current girlfriend and we love each other very much.

I personally think it's a shame that spreading this information would fall on my shoulders, though. If you look at the poll, you'll see that a majority of guys here wouldn't date MTF's, and if we take that as reasonably accurate statistics (don't think we have a large enough test group)... my opinions aren't even in the minority.

Chances are a lot of people wouldn't be as vocal as I am on the subject, but I'm a stickler for not keeping secrets and lying in a relationship. But I digress.

Anyways, since my opinion is far from rare and these people have made an active choice to change their gender, with all that entails I believe it's their responsibility to be honest about their history, if nothing else to make sure the partner is clear on why children aren't an option.

I recall something I read here about a MTF who is living in stealth, who hadn't told 'his' girlfriend of six months about this (I think it was in that "Ask a Transgender Anything" thread a while back). I personally find it absolutely appalling and morally abhorrent to do such a thing to someone you claim to love.

So, let me ask you a question:

Do you think it's morally sound to enter into a relationship with someone and not telling them that you weren't born as your current gender?

 

[MartianWarMachine]

Do you think it's morally sound to enter into a relationship with someone and not telling them that you weren't born as your current gender?

Yup. They should have asked first >.>

 

[Ledan]

Okay, question, what the hell is a cisman and a ciswoman?

A cisman is a man who was born with a male body, and a ciswoman is a woman who was born with a female body.

Ahhh okay, so its a "normal" person. Then whats with the cis part?

Anyways on topic now i anwsered no as i find it weird. Cant really put a finger on the exact reason i feel that way, i just do.

No, it does not mean a "Normal" person, I'll let you off this once, because I can see how easy it must be for people to make that mistake, but it implies that we are not "normal" and that's quite offensive. Trans people are as normal as cis people are. Gender identity disorder is a disease... suffering from a disease does not make a person not normal, would you say that someone with cancer was not normal?

This is why we have the term "cis", it's essentially a shorthand way of saying "not trans", without having to fall back on terms like normal. The cis part once again comes from latin, it means "On the same side as" so cissexual would mean to be on the same side as your birth sex. IE, you don't need to travel across the plain of sex, because you're already on the correct side.

RIGHT. Enough of this nonsense. As good people have said before in this forum: There is no proof of this "born into the wrong gender". You are your birth gender. End of story. You may be more feminine, or identify with female culture or be curious about their bodies: but there is no proof at all that there are "male" and "female" brains or such. No evidence that you are a "x" born in a "y" body.
You make up a distinction between gender and sex, tell us we're uneducated, yet offer no evidence for your claims. I find that you've deluded yourself. You cannot choose to be male or female. You CAN choose what kind of man or woman you want to be. Transsexual is a real thing, transgender to me is not. You have not changed your gender, only performed body modifications. You can choose to act in any manner you want, but there are some facts about yourself you cannot change. Michael Jackson was always ethnically black, he changed his skin color. You can dye your hair any color you want, but you will still be a "brunette" or "blond" or whatever. You can modify your body to any extent you want, but you can't force people to treat you differently because of these modifications.

 

[Dellaudis]

Edit: Whoops, missed the quote

 

[Dellaudis]

-snip

Yup. They should have asked first >.>

Can I ask, Is it because:

1.Don't think it matters
2.Don't think it will matter to them
3.Don't want to have to tell them
4.Don't think you should have to tell them

If its something other than what I mentioned, I'd like to know what, if you don't mind.

Just curious.

 

[orangeban]

-snip-

Perhaps rather than the transgendered person having to reveal something incredibly personal about themselves to everyone they might consider having a relationship with, maybe you should tell everyone that you refuse to date transsexual people.

Seems like it would save a lot of hassle and state mandated branding.

And they aren't "lying" to you by not telling you're they're transsexual, there simply not sharing personal secrets.

I actually do. Hell, I even explicitly ask. Worked with my current girlfriend and we love each other very much.

I personally think it's a shame that spreading this information would fall on my shoulders, though. If you look at the poll, you'll see that a majority of guys here wouldn't date MTF's, and if we take that as reasonably accurate statistics (don't think we have a large enough test group)... my opinions aren't even in the minority.

Chances are a lot of people wouldn't be as vocal as I am on the subject, but I'm a stickler for not keeping secrets and lying in a relationship. But I digress.

Anyways, since my opinion is far from rare and these people have made an active choice to change their gender, with all that entails I believe it's their responsibility to be honest about their history, if nothing else to make sure the partner is clear on why children aren't an option.

I recall something I read here about a MTF who is living in stealth, who hadn't told 'his' girlfriend of six months about this (I think it was in that "Ask a Transgender Anything" thread a while back). I personally find it absolutely appalling and morally abhorrent to do such a thing to someone you claim to love.

So, let me ask you a question:

Do you think it's morally sound to enter into a relationship with someone and not telling them that you weren't born as your current gender?

To answer your question: Depends on the relationship. If I was getting married to them, or if the relationship looked to be getting serious, then yeah, I'd tell them, because you should be open with your partner.

However, if we're just talking dating or having sex, then I see no real reason to tell them. It's not my fault they don't like trans people and I shouldn't have to tell them something extremely personal and private about myself.

And it isn't a shame that the burden to spread this information should fall on your shoulders. You are the person who doesn't like trans people, it's [/i]your[/i] responsibility to inform people of your insecurities. Just because it might be slightly inconvienient for the priviledged majority, doesn't mean you should be able to pass the burden onto a minority, especially when that burden is much greater (revealing you're trans > revealing your insecure)

We live in a world where trans people are judged for not passing as their gender, but then when they do pass as their gender, they are called out for trying to "trick" people.

Look, let's imagine a dating profile. On this dating profile the person says they are interested in women. A MTF transperson should be able to apply to this dating profile without revealing she is trans, because that profile's only specification was that the partner had to be a woman, and MTF people are women.

 

[artanis_neravar]

Do you think it's morally sound to enter into a relationship with someone and not telling them that you weren't born as your current gender?

Yup. They should have asked first >.>

I disagree, while I don't think starting to date you should have to reveal anything like that, but you should reveal before things get serious, especially because it will impact whether or not you have kids, and should probably be brought up in that same conversation.

I actually do. Hell, I even explicitly ask. Worked with my current girlfriend and we love each other very much.

I personally think it's a shame that spreading this information would fall on my shoulders, though. If you look at the poll, you'll see that a majority of guys here wouldn't date MTF's, and if we take that as reasonably accurate statistics (don't think we have a large enough test group)... my opinions aren't even in the minority.

Chances are a lot of people wouldn't be as vocal as I am on the subject, but I'm a stickler for not keeping secrets and lying in a relationship. But I digress.

Anyways, since my opinion is far from rare and these people have made an active choice to change their gender, with all that entails I believe it's their responsibility to be honest about their history, if nothing else to make sure the partner is clear on why children aren't an option.

I recall something I read here about a MTF who is living in stealth, who hadn't told 'his' girlfriend of six months about this (I think it was in that "Ask a Transgender Anything" thread a while back). I personally find it absolutely appalling and morally abhorrent to do such a thing to someone you claim to love.

So, let me ask you a question:

Do you think it's morally sound to enter into a relationship with someone and not telling them that you weren't born as your current gender?

I agree with your premise, that you should reveal any information that will directly impact the relationship, I would expect the person I am with to tell me that, just as I would expect them to tell me if they have had their tubes tied anything that will effect the relationship should be disclosed. Now I don't think that they should have to tell you when you meet, or when you start dating. Also i voted no because I want kids, and a MTF can't give me kids.

 

[kickyourass]

If she's willing to go out with me and isn't the type to bring to up every other sentence then why not?

 

[pierre666lol]

hmmmm one must always be open... ?