Poll: Would you date an asexual person?

[Fetzenfisch]

Dont see a reason to. Seriously.

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

-Snip-

whith atraction i obviously meant sexual atraction. but hey, whatever works for you two and makes you happy. though i'm still certain that you miss out on something which's beauty you can't comprehend.

Oh, trust me, I can comprehend beauty when I see it.
I have seen such sights as to bring tears to my eyes, and even the aged memories are enough to repeat that.
I can appreciate the human form, but it will never be enough to do the same that the world itself has shown me.
Sex is boring, but I really like cute things. I guess that is as close as I get.
When things get sexual, I get bored. When they get cute, they get taken home with me.
Well, anyway, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as they say.

 

[Gormers1]

Eehhh...this has gotten me into problems in the past I think. I've got a very LOW libido, and never really have sex on the mind when dating somebody. I'm pretty sure that I've had a few people break up with me because of this, but that just leads me to doing it for them, which leaves me not really into it and quitting pretty early.

It doesn't help that I'm super nervous about the act itself, and have a hard time getting over that hurdle. And I've got some stupid notion in my head that sex isn't something I should throw around all the time, I want it to be saved for the person I actually want to have sex with. Not short term flings.

It shouldnt be too hard to find someone with a libido that matches you nicely enough, it certainly isnt uncommon to have a low libido anyways.

You want it to be saved for persons you want to have sex with ? That makes sense, limiting that to people you want to stay with long term on the other hand, does not (imo).

-Snip-

whith atraction i obviously meant sexual atraction. but hey, whatever works for you two and makes you happy. though i'm still certain that you miss out on something which's beauty you can't comprehend.

People who like to play cops and robbers in gimp suites in dark basements probably thinks youre missing out as well.

 

[Plazmatic]

Let's say you meet an asexual guy/girl who is heteromantic/homoromantic (Depending on your gender/sexual orientation). The two of you get along great and develop feelings for each other, do you think you could engage in a long term relationship with someone even if the two of you will probably never have sex?

You don't mention why they wouldn't be able to have sex. sorry but /thread.

They'd be capable, but they would have absolutely no sex drive. Maybe you could convince them to but it probably wouldn't happen. so not "/thread"

Let's say you meet an asexual guy/girl who is heteromantic/homoromantic (Depending on your gender/sexual orientation). The two of you get along great and develop feelings for each other, do you think you could engage in a long term relationship with someone even if the two of you will probably never have sex?

Are you from SRK?

I don't even know what that is...

#1 this is still to late, and thus still /thread

#2 why would they not have a sex drive/desire to have sex? One does not only want to have sex to have babies. It is hugely recreational, and has been since man kinds beginnings. so second /thread.

 

[Leg End]

-Snip-
being apreciated and found beautyfull and atracting by the person i love, and finding him atractive and apreciating his physical beauty is nothing i would consider to be bad. you would understand if you could feel the same way about someone you love.

that's another thing i wondered, how does your partner cope with that you don't find him atractive in this kind of way? i mean, he IS a guy after all (i assume) and no matter what they tell you, this kind of thing IS important for them..

You seem to assume that I am somewhat blind.
I'm nonsexual. I have no interest in sex.
I never said I am unable to appreciate the looks of the person I love.
I love him. He could look like Quasimodo for all I care about looks, since I love him as a person, not as an object with genitalia attached for fun.
But I can appreciate the looks he does have.
As for what my boyfriend thinks, why don't you ask him yourself [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.272598-Poll-Would-you-date-an-asexual-person?page=5#10515333]?

I never knew you two were dating!

I'll plan the wedding!

I wouldnt date a asexual person. When I get into a relationship I expect commitment and at 20, sex IS unavoidable which is why I wouldn't date one because I refuse to go through the shit I had with my ex 2 years ago. (Im a highly effectionate person)

You do realize physical Affection does not warrant sex, right? :/

I may be the prime example of this. :/

 

[D Moness]

When they get cute, they get taken home with me.

OT Well that explains your avatar

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

-Snip-
I never knew you two were dating!

I'll plan the wedding!

We've been together since... I really should memorise dates...
Perhaps September or October of last year.
We'll be meeting each other later this year, when he visits Albion <3
Hopefully all will go to plan to allow that, anyway.
Need to get a source of income >.>

 

[funguy2121]

Let's say you meet an asexual guy/girl who is heteromantic/homoromantic (Depending on your gender/sexual orientation). The two of you get along great and develop feelings for each other, do you think you could engage in a long term relationship with someone even if the two of you will probably never have sex?

Hell, no. Why have a relationship wherein you can't take part in the highest expression of intimacy?

 

[Leg End]

When they get cute, they get taken home with me.

OT Well that explains your avatar

Indeed it does. :/

-Snip-
I never knew you two were dating!

I'll plan the wedding!

We've been together since... I really should memorise dates...
Perhaps September or October of last year.
We'll be meeting each other later this year, when he visits Albion <3
Hopefully all will go to plan to allow that, anyway.
Need to get a source of income >.>

My wallet is yours.

 

[ReservoirAngel]

No, I really couldn't. I hate myself for being this shallow about it, but I just couldn't.

I don't care how it makes me look, but sex is a big part of my relationship. I couldn't NOT have regular sex. So an asexual person is just a no-go for me, cause I wouldn't trust myself not to go out and get my sex somewhere else.

 

[Leg End]

Let's say you meet an asexual guy/girl who is heteromantic/homoromantic (Depending on your gender/sexual orientation). The two of you get along great and develop feelings for each other, do you think you could engage in a long term relationship with someone even if the two of you will probably never have sex?

Hell, no. Why have a relationship wherein you can't take part in the highest expression of intimacy?

But you CAN hug people if you are Asexual. :/

 

[minuialear]

*snip*The latter goes both ways.

Well put and I agree. Just to be arguing and raise a question though: when do you think its the right time to tell a person you have interested in, that you have no interest in having sex? First date? Would it be selfish and/or manipulative to wait a little bit in hopes that the person will be more likely to stay?

I think it depends on the people in question; I can easily imagine that for many asexuals, it's hard to be sure one is actually asexual (as opposed to just having a low sex drive, or only having a desire for sex once an otherwise intimate relationship has been established). The only way to test this out is to be in a relationship long enough such that you can verify that your desire to not have sex isn't due to a lack of connection with your partner or something else that comes and goes. In such cases I'd imagine it'd be more dangerous than it's worth to tell someone you may be asexual right from the start (based on the assumptions made in this thread alone, it's not hard to imagine why), because there's always the possibility that you eventually do develop sexual feelings for the person, but that they dump you before those feelings manifest in a relationship. Additionally, I'd imagine a lot of asexuals are in denial about their sexuality ("I just need to find the right person"), which complicates things.

So I guess this is a long-winded way of saying that I don't think the selfishness would necessarily come from not saying one is asexual, due to the complexity of even labeling oneself as asexual in the first place. Selfishness would come instead from one partner's refusal to help the other get what (s)he needs; if the asexual refuses to have sex, refuses to let the other partner get sex elsewhere, and refuses to listen to the sexual person when (s)he says she needs some sort of sexual stimulation before (s)he goes berserk, then the asexual partner would be selfish. And if the reason they didn't speak up was precisely to try to trap their partner, that would obviously also be selfishness (although in that case it's because of intent, not because of the not divulging that information part).

 

[Dragonborne88]

It shouldnt be too hard to find someone with a libido that matches you nicely enough, it certainly isnt uncommon to have a low libido anyways.

You want it to be saved for persons you want to have sex with ? That makes sense, limiting that to people you want to stay with long term on the other hand, does not (imo).

I did mean the latter, but I know that it doesn't really make sense...

I guess it doesn't help the last few "relationships" I was in were with high libido people, and those all ended on rough notes, so I kind of hold a negative light on that now. *shudder* I was a stupid, stupid young man.

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

-Snip-

My wallet is yours.

Funnily enough, I just got a Hanyuu figurine recently, like monday, or saturday.
She is sooo cuuuteee!
I wish I had a plushie of her to cuddle ;~;
As it is, I have various teddies, and a plushie of Miku Hachune.
[small]Cuuuteee...[/small]

Edit: Also, the amount of people who just assume that asexual/nonsexual people CAN'T UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EVER HAVE SEX is just astounding.

 

[rockyoumonkeys]

Nope. If they're asexual, then being friends is probably enough.

 

[funguy2121]

Let's say you meet an asexual guy/girl who is heteromantic/homoromantic (Depending on your gender/sexual orientation). The two of you get along great and develop feelings for each other, do you think you could engage in a long term relationship with someone even if the two of you will probably never have sex?

Hell, no. Why have a relationship wherein you can't take part in the highest expression of intimacy?

But you CAN hug people if you are Asexual. :/

HUG vs. Make Love.

Hug loses.

 

[Kathinka]

-Snip-

My wallet is yours.

Funnily enough, I just got a Hanyuu figurine recently, like monday, or saturday.
She is sooo cuuuteee!
I wish I had a plushie of her to cuddle ;~;
As it is, I have various teddies, and a plushie of Miku Hachune.
[small]Cuuuteee...[/small]

Edit: Also, the amount of people who just assume that asexual/nonsexual people CAN'T UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EVER HAVE SEX is just astounding.

you completely misunderstand, no one thinks that. it's just that it's not about just sexing up your partner and being done with it, it is about engaging in the biggest possible act of intimacy and romance together. sure you can have sex with some one like that, and it can be fun. but it's not the same knowing that you're doing it with someone nonsexual.

 

[Leg End]

-Snip-

My wallet is yours.

Funnily enough, I just got a Hanyuu figurine recently, like monday, or saturday.
She is sooo cuuuteee!
I wish I had a plushie of her to cuddle ;~;
As it is, I have various teddies, and a plushie of Miku Hachune.
[small]Cuuuteee...[/small]

Edit: Also, the amount of people who just assume that asexual/nonsexual people CAN'T UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EVER HAVE SEX is just astounding.

I CAN SEND JOO MOAR HANYUU.

Also, I know, right? XDXDXD

It's like they think the reproductive organs of asexuals don't exist. XDXDXD

Really guys, they still have them. :/

 

[Verlander]

Spoiler: Previous conversation

I wonder how many people who claim to be "asexual" actually are? Like those kids who go through that confused stage, and claim to be bi sexual/gay, when really they are just confused by the fact that they can actually show appreciation for attractive people of the same sex? I've also noticed (on this site, and in real life) a LOT of "asexual" people seem to be nerds and suchlike.

I just want to throw this out there, that having bad/no sexual experiences, or having a deep resentment of attractive people, doesn't necessarily make you asexual...

Disclaimer: I'm not pointing out any individual, or anyone specifically on this thread or site. Just interested in the actual number of asexual people. Someone earlier said that 1% of the population was asexual, and I'm certain that's a vast exaggeration.

How many asexual people have you actually talked to? Asexuals are as human and as diverse in their interests as everyone else and you might want to do a bit of research before generalizing and stereotyping us into a derogatory category. You might want to go to the AVEN forum itself, it's one of the larger places for asexuals to chat and debate on the web. I happen to be an artist, a philosopher, an avid weightlifter and cyclist, and absolutely nuts about my project car.

Asexuality is lack of sexual attraction, nothing more nothing less. I know I am asexual from my experiences and intuitive feelings, I have never felt sexually attracted to anyone, including a person I fell in love with, there was never a thought nor a desire to ever "jump her bones" so to speak.

The 1% estimation is based on a very old study called the Kinsey report (old enough that it was old when George Bataille talked about it). Obviously it is not going to be an even distribution throughout the population, as some areas will have more asexuals, with some having less, there's no real efficient way to determine the actual number right now. Some people are even indifferent about their lack of sexual attraction to anyone that they don't notice it unless the conception of asexuality as an orientation is introduced to them, so they might not identify as asexual.

A few. Not many because it's not something that people generally bring up in conversation. It was more of an observation of the people who "claim" to be, and the people who actually are. I'm prepared to believe that a lot of people confused with their sexual orientation might relate to asexuality, but not actually be asexual. I wasn't making a derogatory comment about those who actually are asexual, more a comment on how those who feel socially rejected (such as "nerds") may claim to be, but not actually be.

I can understand that, but its also understandable why a person who has zero interest in sex can be alienated by a culture that is often saturated with it. People don't like being faced with the unknown for a long time, it's one of our natural instincts to often avoid it if we can, so I can understand why some would adopt a label like 'asexual' or 'bisexual' in order to find some level of comfort and belonging. I don't really hold it against them though.

Fair enough. I never really saw the immersion into a segregated culture as a reaction, more of a cause. I reckon it can probably go both ways, but I think mostly you are right.

It's difficult on this site, because you start talking to people normally, and then they throw some strange conclusion or bullshit "fact" at you, and you find out that you've been chatting to a child, a 13 year old all this time. Whenever a subject like asexuality or similar is raised, you then can't help but be a sceptic when so many people put their hands up and say they are. All you think about is many of the members being fairly young and in a lifestyle that potentially secludes them, and you come to the conclusion that they may only identify with the concept of asexuality, yet aren't actually/don't have the experience to decide.

It's a flawed attitude, and something I should get rid of (there are plenty of people in their 20's and 30's on here), but it is a natural conclusion I, and I think many of the other members, jump to.

Spoiler: Previous Conversation

Perhaps. But I'm aromantic, so I'll probably never know.

I've seen this term being bandied around, so I looked it up. It showed on Wikipedia like this:

Spoiler: Definitions of terms regarding romance among asexuals

Asexuals, while typically lacking in sexual desire for either sex, may engage in purely emotional romantic relationships.[19][20][21] Terms concerning this:
aromantic: lack of romantic attraction towards anyone of any gender
biromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of either gender
heteroromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of the opposite gender
homoromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of the same gender
panromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of any gender or lack of gender
transromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of variant or ambiguous gender
polyromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of more than one gender or sex but without implying, as biromantic does, that there are only two genders or sexes

Does that make you asexual as well, or not?

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are never necessarily the same. I am a hetero romantic asexual, hence, I am romantically attracted to the opposite gender (I do indeed 'fall in love', for the layman). Aromantic people do not become romantically attracted to any gender, often their relationships stay fairly platonic. It is quite possible to have homoromantic heterosexuals or hetero romantic homosexuals (which could account for some people who identify as bisexual, and even aromantic sexual people as well. It really depends on the person, human sexuality and gender are very diverse. Many people often use their own combination of romantic attraction and sexual attraction as the norm (hence all the people believing arelationship requires sex as well as love when it doesn't have to be the case). Why they do that is a whole other bag of worms with metaphysical and psychological implications that I don't want to get into right now (suffice to say it would require a lot of writing and I'm busy with essays on Hegel and Foucault right now).

Ah, good ol' Michel Foucault. I don't envy you, glad my essay writing days are long over. This wasn't directed at you, so your reply did nothing to enlighten me. I was asking is he was asexual, because I'm interested if sexually active beings were defining themselves as aromantic. Purely because it seems like a cop out way of explaining that they're a dick. With asexuals, I can easily understand this predicament. With sexually active people... not so much.

I'll be glad when I'm done too, though I find Foucault quite interesting.

That was the issue I was trying to address, but I doubt you'll find many people labeling themselves with a romantic orientation. As I've said, most people don't see a difference between their romantic orientation and their sexual orientation. Most aren't going to notice unless you introduce the concept to them. Anyhow, most people can't use being aromantic as an excuse for their actions. Most aromantics I've come across aren't sociopathic, they simply don't make that same emotional connection we call 'love'. This would be a lot easier if there was someone here that was aromantic to explain what they feel. Or check the AVEN Wiki, that'd be easier than me flailing around lol.

It's fair enough. I can imagine that if someone truly is aromantic, but sexually interested, their life must be a *****. Cheers for explaining some of it though fella!

 

[Leg End]

Let's say you meet an asexual guy/girl who is heteromantic/homoromantic (Depending on your gender/sexual orientation). The two of you get along great and develop feelings for each other, do you think you could engage in a long term relationship with someone even if the two of you will probably never have sex?

Hell, no. Why have a relationship wherein you can't take part in the highest expression of intimacy?

But you CAN hug people if you are Asexual. :/

HUG vs. Make Love.

Hug loses.

Nope.

I would rather engage in the act of firmly holding the one I love, acting as a guardian than penetrate her in an act of coitus.

Also, she is forever in love with Syaoran.

I am her fucking guardian, Loli-Damneet. (O_O)