Poll: You are an evil overlord! Which army of mooks do you employ?

Recommended Videos

Brendan Stepladder

New member
May 21, 2012
641
0
0
Greetings, my liege. I am proud to hear of your plans for world domination, though there is one problem: you lack any manpower to bring your machinations to fruition.

Which Rent-A-Goon force shall you employ on your quest for glory and conquest? Each has their definite pros and cons.

Stormtroopers: Unflinchingly loyal and bring a wide variety of skills, including knowledge of logistics and advanced tech. Cons are that they can't hit shit. EDIT: Bear in mind, this is the supposedly feared fighting force that got curb-stomped by Ewoks.

The Koopa Troop: Well, they're probably pretty chill guys... Just don't expect any actual conquest.

Orcs: They get the job done, albeit sloppily. Having nigh-infinite hordes of them always helps, though they are prone to fighting among themselves when they don't have a common enemy. They are also very hard workers.

Zombies: Why conquer the world when you can just slaughter the inhabitants? Having a blank slate to build your evil empire from is a lot easier than trying to subjugate the entire planet!

Cybermen: Resistant to conventional weapons, ruthlessly efficient, and deadly in combat, Cybermen are a force to be reckoned with. Their conversion tech can allow you to squelch rebellion after you've taken over. The only problem is that they don't take kindly to human authority figures.

The Roman Army: Loyal, efficient, and legendary, the Romans are an unstoppable force. At least, they were thousands of years ago. Now their archaic training means that they will take a while to adjust to modern combat, assuming they survive that long.

Skynet: Arguably the most powerful force on this list, Skynet gives your army access to Terminators and time travel. The only problem is that you are more or less assured to be usurped and killed at some point.

The Martians: Death rays and aliens, what could possibly go wrong? Aside from the common cold?
 

scorptatious

The Resident Team ICO Fanboy
May 14, 2009
7,405
0
0
I find the lack of Prinnies disturbing.



They're numerous, they're loyal (so long as they get paid),they explode when thrown, and they're so gosh darn cute. What's not to love?

Choosing from the list, I guess I would pick Zombies. Whoever they kill gets to join my ranks.
 

BeeGeenie

New member
May 30, 2012
726
0
0
What, no Minions?

Seriously, who would fight back against these little guys. They're too adorable to resist! :D

I voted for Roman Legion, although a professional national army isn't really the same thing as an evil underling army.
... Maybe Ceasar's Legion from FO:NV is a better choice.
 

Summerstorm

Elite Member
Sep 19, 2008
1,480
125
68
I choose others: Ninjas... (How are there not Ninja-Armies on this list?)

If that isn't possible i choose rowdy-gangs or disgraced commandos / ex-militaries on the run / Mercenaries with questionable morals.

Ok ok.. if i had to choose from that list: Orcs... but only if i can spawn them at will and in hordes, maybe stromtroopers (They do hit shit... just no people with a name *g*.)
 

Sixcess

New member
Feb 27, 2010
2,719
0
0
I'd have to go with the Roman legions. The rest are either incompetent, yucky, or prone to be being beaten up by a plumber.
 

Simalacrum

Resident Juggler
Apr 17, 2008
5,204
0
0
I'd personally actually prefer a good Battle Company of a few hundred of the Warhammer 40K Adeptus Astartes Space Marines, but I guess that would be a bit OP? xD

I go with clone troopers. Sure, they may not be able to hit for shit, but they did help create and maintain a galactic empire? and that has to count for something? :p
 

Thaluikhain

Elite Member
Legacy
Jan 16, 2010
19,538
4,128
118
Cybermen. Not the rubbish Nuwho ones that are half-arsed Borg rip offs, the old ones the Borg were half arsed rip off of.
 

SckizoBoy

Ineptly Chaotic
Legacy
Jan 6, 2011
8,681
200
68
A Hermit's Cave
Simalacrum said:
I'd personally actually prefer a good Battle Company of a few hundred of the Warhammer 40K Adeptus Astartes Space Marines, but I guess that would be a bit OP? xD
Well, depends on who the opposition is... Chaos Marines/Daemons, yeah, fair fight...

Grey Knights? With Draigo?! That's OP...

OT:


I'm sure a crew of monsters will be able to cause some trouble... -_-
 

Simalacrum

Resident Juggler
Apr 17, 2008
5,204
0
0
SckizoBoy said:
Simalacrum said:
I'd personally actually prefer a good Battle Company of a few hundred of the Warhammer 40K Adeptus Astartes Space Marines, but I guess that would be a bit OP? xD
Well, depends on who the opposition is... Chaos Marines/Daemons, yeah, fair fight...

Grey Knights? With Draigo?! That's OP...

OT:


I'm sure a crew of monsters will be able to cause some trouble... -_-
Well, in this particular scenario I think we mean modern Earth (since he mentioned that Romans would be out-teched compared to today's standards) soooo? yeah?

?Earth would be screwed. :p (So long as I successfully hide the fact that the world they're attacking is a pre-historic Holy Terra of course. "Look guys, these guys have literally no symbols worshipping the Emperor! They must be corrupted by Chaos! Cleanse them all!")
 

Guffe

New member
Jul 12, 2009
5,106
0
0
I'd like my Orks from Warhammer (40k) or Warcraft III but I'll go with Lotr on the list.
Orks are awesome!
 

Esotera

New member
May 5, 2011
3,400
0
0
I'm going with the Roman Legion, they're well organised & disciplined, and they have every incentive to fight well as they have a very generous pension scheme. I'm fairly sure that with a bit of training they would be one of the best modern armies in the world. Orcs or martians would be my second pick..
 

kannibus

New member
Sep 21, 2009
989
0
0
Sexy amazons in chainmail bikinis. No way this is a bad move. Best result is that I conquer the world. Worst is that I hold up in my fortress of doom with a whole bunch of sexy chicks.

Actually, given the capabilities of their "lord and master", they'll probably all end up becoming lesbians.

DAMMIT!
 

Xpwn3ntial

Avid Reader
Dec 22, 2008
8,023
0
0
Well, for sci-fi I'd take the Mobile Infantrymen and Mandalorians. Together. And the best of them will have gear and training from both.

For fantasy, give me the legions of Sauron and I'll call it a day. The Ring Wraiths and Witch King are required.
 

SD-Fiend

Member
Legacy
Nov 24, 2009
2,075
0
1
Country
United States
Eh i dunno. Whatever they are they have to be fat and funny looking. then i'll be able to laugh even when they get slaughtered.
 

Artina89

New member
Oct 27, 2008
3,624
0
0
scorptatious said:
I find the lack of Prinnies disturbing.



They're numerous, they're loyal (so long as they get paid),they explode when thrown, and they're so gosh darn cute. What's not to love?
ie
Choosing from the list, I guess I would pick Zombies. Whoever they kill gets to join my ranks.
I am currently in the middle of playing Disgaea 4: A promise unforgotten and I thought about prinnies when I clicked on the link. Out of the options though, I would probably listen to my inner Doctor Who fangirl and plump for the cybermen, but my favourite Doctor Who alien are the Nestenes/Autons, as I remember watching Spearhead from space and being absolutely terrified of them.
 

bz316

New member
Feb 10, 2010
400
0
0
Duh, Cybermen. The only way to stop them was to blow up an entire fucking galaxy!
 

gigastar

Insert one-liner here.
Sep 13, 2010
4,419
0
0
I would employ the Tyranids.

Whos gonna say no to me when theres a Lictor lurking on every street corner?
 

ImperialSunlight

New member
Nov 18, 2009
1,269
0
0
Out of these, I choose the orcs. Numerous, fairly easy to control, actually a pretty decent threat and quite ominous to boot. Otherwise, Darknuts from The Legend of Zelda.

 

TheRightToArmBears

New member
Dec 13, 2008
8,674
0
0
Redcoats! Rule Britannia Me!

Even if Skynet would dick all over them, I'd have way more class. Besides, largest empire of all time. Fuck you Rome.