Poll: You end up in bed with Scarlet Johansen, but...

[funguy2121]

A juvenile whim hit me and I decided to pose this question.

You meet Scarlet Johansen. She's totally into you. This can be a romantic encounter or a purely sexual one - for the purposes of this conversation, it doesn't matter. But she's amazing, gorgeous, and totally real. You end up hitting it off with her so well that the two of you end up in bed together. . .

..and you discover that she has a penis. What do you do?

Some disclaimers:

This is not a sounding board for homophobia (or whatever title you give to a rough equivalent for transgendered people).

If you're not into Scarlet, you can substitute Kate Winslet or whomever you find to be extremely attractive. I chose her because I personally find her to be gorgeous, and because apparently quite a few people agree with me.

I'm going to hold off giving my answer until I get a few posts. I want to get the ball rolling on the conversation without coloring it with my own opinions. Some of you may find this to be a ***** move, I know, but I'm doing it

Check the poll for specifics, if you wish. Hope I didn't ruin anyone's fantasy!

Edit: I forgot something. It should go without saying, but this question is for everyone who's interested in sounding off, so you don't have to be male or heterosexual to answer.

 

[L3m0n_L1m3]

I think the better question would be why you're asking this.

(No I wouldn't.)

 

[MrLlamaLlama]

Let her do me.

Seriously

 

[emeraldrafael]

Oh yes, I knew exactly where this was going right fromt he title.

... but yeah, I would. If it honestly bothers youm just take her from behind and dont make eye contact with it and you'll be fine (speaking from experience).

 

[hyzaku]

Last I checked, that is what we call a TRAP. Thus, I must tell her to GTFO. I honestly don't care what the rest of her is like, a wang on a chick a deal breaker.

 

[DanielBrown]

No.
I just couldn't... no...

 

[dyre]

I'd shoot her and dump her in a lake.

I mean, uh, I'd politely ask her to GTFO while I vomit on the bed

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

I tried the gay thing, didn't like it. At least not sexually.

And I've never gotten the futanari thing either. It's one of many, many fetishes guaranteed to immediately cause major wilting.

And I don't really have any female celebrities who I crush on anyway. I never have, it's just something I don't do.

 

[Radoh]

So you're taking a Robot Chicken joke and asking us it.

Being that I don't have interest in playing for either team, no.

 

[Nimcha]

I'd just keep clear of it. Plenty of other things about her to enjoy :3

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Three simple words: I'd hit it.

 

[TriggerOnly]

I would look deeply into her eyes (heartbroken), and with a trembling lip say "HOW COULD YOU" then run out of the (hotel) with half a boner.

So you're taking a Robot Chicken joke and asking us it.

Being that I don't have interest in playing for either team, no.

wait sorry what ? who's team are you playing for then ?

 

[martin's a madman]

Hell yeah!

I'd do whatever she'd like.

 

[Raskolnikov34]

I'd tell her to put it away, and have her give me oral. I'd pretend she was a woman. haha, that's so wrong....

 

[AgentNein]

What the hell, I try everything at least once.

 

[Raskolnikov34]

What the hell, I try everything at least once.

Not exactly the greatest life philosophy....

 

[kurupt87]

I'd piss myself laughing.

I'd then leave and get roaring drunk due to extreme exasperation and wish for a world where a stone's a stone and an egg's an egg. No eggy stones, damnitall.

 

[Loop Stricken]

You meet Scarlet Johansen. She's totally into you. This can be a romantic encounter or a purely sexual one - for the purposes of this conversation, it doesn't matter. But she's amazing, gorgeous, and totally real. You end up hitting it off with her so well that the two of you end up in bed together. . .


..and you discover that she has a penis. What do you do?

I've actually had this dream! Everything went better than expected.