Poll: You end up in bed with Scarlet Johansen, but...

[ParkourMcGhee]

I'd have to see what my heart said on the matter.

If it was purely sexual, it wouldn't be a problem... but - and wait for this - I eventually want kids that I spawned with someone and for those kids to stay with their respective parents growing up.

That's why fundamentally I'll never have actual relationships with guys.

So far I've fallen madly in love with every girl I've shagged, so I might have to turn this down, depending on how I feel, or break it off prematurely.

What can I say? I'm a fallen romantic.

 

[staika]

ME: "Hey why don't we take this off, wait a sec........ What is this?"
*Discovers it to be a penis*
ME: "FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..... WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME!!!!"

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

...I'll just substitute my GF instead of Scarlet since I could not imagine cheating on my GF.

My reaction if I found that out the first time we'd have sex would be "*close eyes and facepalm* Modsbannit, girl! You should have told me this, you know...BEFORE we got this far! ...This is gonna take some getting used to...Aww !@#$ it. I love you anyway. Just...how the hell do we make...this...work?"

 

[RatRace123]

She has a penis, but keeps everything else?
Yeah I'd still go for it.

 

[KezzieZ]

I'd definitely say no because I'm not into women (despite the fact that she'd have a penis in this hypothetical situation).
I guess technically this question wasn't even aimed at my demographic, but there you go.

 

[Andy Shandy]

I would look deeply into her eyes (heartbroken), and with a trembling lip say "HOW COULD YOU" then run out of the (hotel) with half a boner.

So you're taking a Robot Chicken joke and asking us it.

Being that I don't have interest in playing for either team, no.

wait sorry what ? who's team are you playing for then ?

I'm pretty sure they are saying they aren't playing the sport at the moment

OT: I'm honestly not sure...although if I could get past it she'd be the one in control, not sure why, it's just my sort of thing...

Captcha: article axuccu...what?

 

[zehydra]

Hell yes. The rest of her'll make up for it.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

I've wondered about such a thing as this before and ultimately if it were Scarlett or another woman as gorgeous as she is I'd fucking do it. Id be wondering how in the hell I got so lucky as to be in this position but beyond that I'd not question a thing.

 

[jpoon]

Man, I doubt I could say no to her hotness.

 

[funguy2121]

I'm surprised by how many were forthright in their answers.

I tried the gay thing, didn't like it. At least not sexually.

And I've never gotten the futanari thing either. It's one of many, many fetishes guaranteed to immediately cause major wilting.

And I don't really have any female celebrities who I crush on anyway. I never have, it's just something I don't do.

So you're taking a Robot Chicken joke and asking us it.

Being that I don't have interest in playing for either team, no.

Vocabulary is a funny thing. I haven't watched much Robot Chicken since season 2, but since they're so over-the-top, I wouldn't be surprised. I would've had to google "futanari" if a new acquaintance who says he has a porn addiction hadn't explained Bible Black to me a week ago. I wasn't referring to Japanese cartoons or pretend-this-strap-on-is real cosplay, I meant discovering that she was born a man. Of course, to say that for her that would be quite a stretch is an understatement. I'm not sure the extent to which plastic surgery can imitate the real at this point. I know I've seen some higher-end breast implants that certainly look real, but I'd be surprised to find that facial reconstructive surgery and body sculpting has evolved to the point to where I really would be fooled.

 

[funguy2121]

So...are we talking just a penis? or both? coz hey if she has both not a big deal i can ignore the winky if its scarlet johansen!

So...just to get this straight...you would have sex with hermaphrodite Scarlett Johannson but not transgendered Scarlett Johannson.

 

[proctorninja2]

to quote Duke "hell I'd still hit it" though let it be known she would be the receiving end not me tried that and not going to happen again

 

[Vykrel]

i would not... and Ryan Reynolds is a cool guy, so i would keep his secret

 

[Iron Lightning]

Nope sorry, I'm wayyy too straight for my own good.

 

[funguy2121]

My problem would be the fact that i can't just do the whole "don't pay attention to it what ever. Its Scarlet, just nail her"

She wants to have sex (or make love what ever) and thats the equivalent of being a selfish lover. You have to offer the common courtesy of a reach around (right?). Or atleast make sure that both parties are sexually sacraficed. Plus what if the prefers being on top, because no thank you i am not taking anything up the back end.

I mean she is gorgeous, and probably has a great personality, but its like finding out any one else is (or was) a man. No thank you, i'm flattered but thats not my thing.

(also probably about two minutes of going OMG OMG OMG WHAT THE FUCK OMG OMG OMG) because honestly i would be suprised and to in the moment to let something like that just slide off me.

Funny you should mention that. During the same conversation I just mentioned I was talking to my friend and his wife about how fake most lesbian porn is, because it's obvious that most of the participants are not (or not that) into it. She came back with "gay porn is the same way!" and explained that she's seen guys take it without maintaining a hard-on. I turned to my friend and joked that this should be the new litmus test for determining if you are gay. All we would have to do is steal a car, go to prison (neither of us is very large or athletic), get sodomized, and if we have an erection, then we know!