Poll: Your social environment , and your personailty (Poll not compulsory)

[Shockolate]

I was always the weird one of the group. Quiet and deadpan is my default emotion, but I have that sort edge about me that whatever I put my mind to, I excell (usually sports and games).

Eventually my Trichotillomania/Depression (third time I've referenced this, no link for you) caught up with me and I began to become cynical and started staying home a crap load.

All in all, despite being generally weird, I was on good terms with most of my grade. I thought I fit in rather well despite my flaws.

 

[Azaradel]

I reckon I am a outcast, and I am completely fine with that.

Not needing a real psychologist telling me why, I can easily see why I ended up this way;

When I was younger, I tried desperately to fit in with the "cool" crowd, ony to have my so called "friends" betray me over and over again, simply for not being what they'd consider "friend material". I'd try desperately to follow along with the latest fads, even if I didn't really care for them, in hope that somehow, they'd come to their senses and accept me as one of them. I was used and abused by people I told myself were my friends, and eventually grew to despise them, after years of having been bullied.

Ever since then, I've simply stopped trying.

I'm tired of having people laugh at me behind my back for not being who they want me to be and leaving me for more "interesting" people as soon as possible. I'm tired of having to pretend I care about their so called "problems", just to have them dismiss mine. I'm tired of being called a bad friend when all I ever do is sit idly by and listen to their stories, despite not actually caring the slightest (mind you, I'm not insensitive enough to tell them that). I've never bothered with trying to tell my own stories to anyone, because they'd trail off and start talking about something more interesting.

And I am so fucking tired of pretending I'm something I am not just to have some people to staple an "friend" tag onto for a few years before they disappear and never to be heard from again.

The last "clique" I was a part of was one consisting of the less popular girls - none of us thin or pretty enough to be considered popular. And even there, I felt so utterly out of place. I figure it was because I was simply too "boring" for them - I don't drink myself retarded every weekend, I don't particularly like throwing myself at men just to get a boyfriend and I don't party at all.

So I've just stopped trying.

And I'm perfectly fine with that.

tl:dr - All my friends are either online or imaginary because I'm an antisocial introvert who hates everything

---

Though it might all boil down to me living in such a dull place, where there simply weren't any other nerds I could socialize with.

 

[Megacherv]

I only hang out with people for their sake. I don't care either way who I'm with.

Erm, I was actually hoping for a serious conversation, please don't post if you're gonna say something like that.

Don't worry about them. Everyone noticed the rise in girl help/moral value/etc threads. Maybe there should be an advice forum for things like this, that would be a good idea.

Yeah, I was thinking that too.

Just spoken to one of my close friends, he says he's gonna help me get talking with this girl (we're all friends anyway)

 

[Duck Sandwich]

But when I think that what they do is get p**sed out of their heads, listen to awful music, have sex with people and be arrogant twats about it later, think they're superior to people who haven't done either of these things

Parties at my college are pretty much the same thing. It's all people getting hammered, but not really doing anything. I have no business being there really, because it's just people I don't know (if I do know them, it's only because they're in my class), having conversations I can't follow.

Due to my obsession with getting in shape, I rarely drink beer. It just doesn't enhance my experience at parties/pubs. So I'm pretty much an outcast among those who heavily rely on getting drunk to enjoy themselves.

I go to social events to try and meet new people, mainly in the hopes of getting into a good relationship, so it's not like I just stay in my room all the time. (which seems to be the assumption that people make if you don't get shitfaced every week at some party)

I also try going to dance at the college's pub nights once every few weeks. I go alone, I dance, some random girl grinds on me for a few minutes then moves on to some other guy, rinse and repeat.

Mixed Martial Arts training is my greatest passion in life. I often have days where I feel like shit, but then I have a good session of Boxing in the evening and everything feels better. Since I moved to college, my only real friends besides my roommates have been from my MMA club. There's pretty much no women around my age there, but that's to be expected. After all, I'm there to train and improve myself, not to hit on women. And if I ever had to choose between training and a relationship, there's no chance in hell that I'd throw away the former.

I also go rock climbing once a month as a school activity. Unfortunately, there's a shortage of women there. The only one that goes on a regular basis is already taken.

I've been single for my entire life, minus an insignificant relationship with some random girl that only lasted 2 days. I don't think that's going to change any time soon, but then again, what matters most to me is that I get good grades and I stay dedicated to my training.

 

[Denizen]

I am in a similar situation like you except my interests and approach to the crowd is different. I have one best friend who is a music production major and abhors today's much (as does I). I can get along with the crowd because they are not douches, just fakes. I don't go around with them but I see potential in their persona. Most are truly automotons and un-authentic individuals that reek of dull, bland, and monotonous behavior but at one point truly had a genuine interest in excellence. They fear how others can get deep and expose this behavior and will plea independence when the true irony of it is that they are almost exactly the same if not a copy of the peer they were pressurized into becoming.
This is where I mention my major:
Double Major Psychology and Philosophy with a minor in Theology but I am considering changing it to Sociology and Philosophy with a minor in writing or double minoring with theology.
I don't look like a male model or anything and I have had quite a few girlfriends in the past but that was when I was trying tout the whole social atmosphere in the past and it is very very easy to put on a role and "fit in" for the sake of fitting in but it truly is a dead end. What matters is finding the people who truly care about your success and your preferences and though that seems like a cliche optimistic outlook, it is hard to find people of value who value other people's well being. They say that most people in the past would shoot for this type of relationship or it was very common place but think of this: what kind of person would do the opposite and try to bring you down from success or excellence in favor of social and independent stagnation?
To be fair, what does work for you and how you relax does only fit for you and defines your character but it is hard to notice a correlation between what an intellectual does, a pseudo-intellectual does, and the "crowd" does. The intellectual(s) collaborate(s) within theirself/themselves, the pseudo-intellectuals leeches off of everyone, and the crowd remains faceless. It is very easy to get lost in a crowd and difficult to distinguish yourself.
I am currently trying to get the attention of this red-headed girl who lives two doors down from my dorm room. Being a coed dorm, this might seem very simple, however she is hardly ever around and she might even be on to the fact that I am trying to figure out who she is. I have talked with her before but it was a small talk thing and I found out a few things from the instances that I have seen or watched her. Before you jump to the conclusion that I may be stalking her, consider this, I know or am experienced in seeing the fake personas of people and am trying to determine hers. I have seen her studying alone, chatting with multiple people and mimicking their gestures and have determined so far that she might be secure with who she is but has trouble letting other people in.
So I hope that this shows a good glimpse of my own experience and insight. Good topic and remember, those who would rather not get deep are not apt in their individuality.
Disclaimer: I am no expert, not wise or an authority on anything and if something should bother others as this is the internet, let it be emphasized, this is the escapist within the internet.

 

[Shock and Awe]

I read your story, I jsut don't want to go to the trouble of quoting. =D

Depends where, when I'm doing JROTC stuff I have a lot of friends around and have a good old time. Can't say that when I am in most classes, because to be honest, I fucking hate most people in my school, there all either "gangstas"(most are wannabes) preps, or jerkoffs. I am not sure why very few of these people are in JROTC, probably because they can't take being told what to do, especially by other students.

This is one of the reasons I feel I am going to enjoy going into the military, because if even half the people in the military are like most of the people in my corps, I am going to have lots of good company.

 

[Maltyz]

If I had me a gun, I would kill you all!

 

[Lord Beautiful]

Spoiler: This may take a while.

I live in my university's dormitory. This happens to be the largest university of one of the more prominent cities of the southern United States. There's not exactly a tremendous shortage of people around, but there is a shortage of people who give a damn about me, perhaps even an absence. Anyone who truly cares about me lives at least two hours away. I've always been lonely, but at least in the other places I've lived, I had friends.

I tried. I really did. When I moved here, I tried to make friends. My attitude was one of contentment, openness, and friendliness (in other words, I was being myself), and people did talk to me and take interest in me. For a little while. Before long, most people would never glance in my direction, and only two people acknowledged my existence without me having to go out of my way to talk to them, which I did do for everyone for a time. It didn't help. I am shunned by those around me, left to wallow in loneliness. Oh well.

Perhaps a description of myself is in order. I'm eighteen years old, though thanks to my being raised by my older brother, perhaps more by him than by my parents, I became much wiser than one of so few years deserved to be. I'm 5'8" tall and 149 lbs. My hair is long and considered by others to be far too pretty for a boy to rightfully possess. My face is considered to be fairly pretty as well. My build is lean and muscular. The women my brother takes home think I'm "hotter" than he is. Considering how handsome and, erm, ripped he is, this notion flatters me tremendously.

As for my personality, I am a very calm, collected, and intelligent individual. To compensate for my life of loneliness and the depression that went with it, I developed a high tolerance for emotional turmoil, maintaining contentment in that with which I've been blessed. I always strive to become better than I am, not satisfied with my current physical and mental prowess; I seek excellence the way others my age seek intercourse, it seems. I am thankful for my blessings, proud of what I've earned, and ashamed of my flaws and mistakes.

My mind is logical and versatile, perhaps to the point of chaos. Not only do I excell in mathematics and science, I thoroughly enjoy them. I'm also a very good writer (though reading this may lead you to believe otherwise), in spite of me lacking that knack for "interpretting" other works of literature in the way English classes necessitate. It just strikes me as bullshit. I fail to believe that an author is commenting on the complex intricacies of the human condition via verbose descriptions of table linens, and if that author really is doing that, he's being a pompous ass.

Socially speaking, I'm a very quiet person. Not only was I raised to think before I spoke, I also grew up living a very lonely life, leaving me socially crippled. Oddly enough, I am an excellent speaker, and I always maintain composure and a quick wit. It's just that I am thoroughly incapable of starting and sustaining normal conversations. I'm a great contributor to deeper conversations, but I can not talk for long periods of time about matters of absolutely no importance, nor do I expect people to listen to my problems when they never asked to hear them (99.7% of all conversations seem to be either one of those, hence the description "normal"). My only contributions to such conversations come in the form of confirmations that I'd heard what was said, advice if it is appropriate, or smartass quips, which no one seems to appreciate here (where I live).

Truth be told, I don't mind listening to people talk to me about inane bullshit. I like people. I enjoy the presense of others. It comforts me. I'd rather talk about something that I could actually talk about, but hearing someone's voice that isn't my own is a luxury in itself, assuming it's directed at me. However, I am not so fond of this luxury as to strip myself of my dignity to get it. I'll not cater to others for words, or anything for that matter. Besides, most of the people around here are imbeciles, and those who aren't I rarely ever get to see. I wish this wasn't the case, and I was in fact initially suspicious of myself when I came to this conclusion, suspicious that it was feuled by the twinge of anger I felt from my ostracism, but through careful analysis, I found it to be disturbingly true.

In past towns I called home, small towns oddly enough, there were people who appreciated me, people I appreciated. There were people who understood that I didn't have a knack for small talk, and accepted me regardless. They appreciated my insight, my humor, and my kindness.

These people in the city, however, they treat as though I'm some sort of freak to be cast out. My apologies, dear city dwellers. I lack the ability to talk about my favorite color at great length. I don't talk about that one plastic bag I saw flowing in the wind as though it was worth mentioning. I never talk about all my problems to you, assuming you'd want to hear about them. I sincerely apologize for being deeper than a teaspoon. Forgiveness would be lovely.

All they see is my eagerness to help people, and they try to take advantage of that by only talking to me when they want something. They ostracize me until they realize I have something they can use, in which case I suddenly become that wonderful friend they never see anymore. These people are worms. This irrational compassion within me; they deserve none of it.

 

[AV01]

I was just thinking about this the other day.

Spoiler

Had this been asked a few years ago, my answer would have been a definitive yes. In middle school, I was one of those kids, the angry, alternative young teens who shunned the popular. So, it didn't bother me much to be an outcast. I did have a surprising good group of friends, but I was still miserable and felt alone in that place.

But now, things have changed so much. Three years into high school, I'm so much happier and outgoing. I credit a lot of the change to my new school, but I've made some radical changes with myself.
I'm still the nerdy jew with a large honking nose, it's just now I'm a confident nerd with a honking nose. I've fully accepted it and have stopped pretending to be something else. So while I'm so different from everyone around here, especially culturally, it's pretty much just become a common joke. They don't expect me to change for them, and I'm not planning to. I've got better friends than I could hope for. And more than I ever deserved.

This school is such a refreshment and has made such a difference. The population is minority majority, boarding two completely different income districts so the diversity is immense. Coming from a school where every plastic face looked and acted the same, it's such a welcome change. Since the population almost forces people to be tolerant, most people are respectful, or at the least just leave you be so long as you give the same respect.
And I'm far from what would be considered popular, but far from unwanted either. I escape the drama and ridicule and comes from both, respectively. It's a happy median that's worked well.


So while at the end of the day I'm still an introvert whose ideal Friday night involves with a new game or good movie versus a party, I'm happier with good friends and a good life. Maybe because I've been so low, I can really appreciate where I am right now.

For the record, I'm happily single after two horrible previous relationships. And I've never drinked or smoked. Not from lack of opportunity, I just haven't.

So, concluding from an unnecessarily long explanation, today I can say I'm far from an outcast. But I remember the years when I was, and I'm happy they're over.

 

[berault]

I'm open with people I've known for a few years, but once I try and meet new people, I hit a "wall" so to speak.