Poll: Your view on parents spanking their children?

[Zaik]

I love these arguments.

Like all arguments between two "sides", you've got "spanking is violent assault on young minds!!!" and "the government shouldn't tell me how to raise my kids!!!"

Because there's no gray area here at all. There can never be gray area with you, internet.

Also I love the "studies", especially the one about how spanked children apparently have lower IQs somehow, even though we still can't even find anything beyond correlation between IQ and actual intelligence.

 

[Darkmantle]

Some children, especially those under 5 don't respond to time outs: they don't have the capacity to understand what they did wrong and why it was wrong. They haven't had the socialization to do so. I generally only had to sound disappointed in my daughter to get her to behave, but I have been around children that needed the occasional pop on the arse.

If it's got to the point where a kid NEEDS to be hit, isn't that indicative of a previous failure?

 

[renegade7]

Very young children do not understand or respond to reason. For instance, explaining to a 4 year old that a tantrum at the dinner table is unacceptable "Because it's rude" is not going to work.

What they do respond to, however, is tangible rewards and punishments. Having desert for behaving well at said table, and a timeout for misbehaving and a swatting if it gets really bad.

Now I emphasize "swatting" and "if it gets really bad". As a last resort. And not a lash with a belt, or a real beating, or being sprayed with hot water.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

I think its only good as an absolute last resort. I can count the amount of times I've been spanked on one hand, and I'd dare say I turned out to be an obedient, well behaved person...

Did they ever bust out the chankla on you?

...slipper?
No...

How about the belt? Or it was just the hand only?

Only belt. I think it was twice, both by my dad. My very strong dad who hits like you're an adult. My mom was not happy at all.

 

[pppppppppppppppppp]

I have this weird fantasy that if I became a parent, I would be able to get my child to do anything through persuasion and appeal to logic, but I know that would never happen. In all honesty though, I could imagine situations where it might be an acceptable thing to do. Not necessarily beneficial, but acceptable maybe.

 

[Korolev]

Don't like it, don't like seeing it, but I also don't think that a parent that spanks their child is a monster.

I will say that sometimes parents misunderstand what spanking is - it's a light slap on the buttocks, not "punch your child in the head". That's not spanking. That's assault. And so many parents get the two mixed up.

 

[PedroSteckecilo]

I dunno, I was never spanked as a child and I think I turned out pretty okay. *points at his Neo Badge*

Really I think it's the "Sustained Physical Pain" element of spanking your children that I don't like, a quick corrective Slap upside the head? Don't think there's much of an issue there. Holding your child as you hit them repeatedly? I dunno... doesn't seem right to me.

 

[anthony87]

I love these arguments.

Like all arguments between two "sides", you've got "spanking is violent assault on young minds!!!" and "the government shouldn't tell me how to raise my kids!!!"

Because there's no gray area here at all. There can never be gray area with you, internet.

Also I love the "studies", especially the one about how spanked children apparently have lower IQs somehow, even though we still can't even find anything beyond correlation between IQ and actual intelligence.

I just love how the people against spanking point to "studies" and say "that's why I'm right". By that logic, all those "studies" that say video games cause people to turn into violent psychopaths are correct too.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

I think its fairly obvious that kids who are hit and kids who are not hit can equally grow up to be dicks and not dicks. Jack the Ripper was raised in a time where hitting kids was the norm . Also the appalling treatment of women was around when hitting your kids was the norm because hitting your wife was also the norm. On the other hand a lax society has produced some douches as well. I think its simply a case of you really cant win. All generations have some horrible dicks in them.

 

[EtherealBeaver]

I am despised about my fellow escapists. Hitting a child to show it right from wrong? What is wrong with you people? It is truly horrific that apparently 45% here thinks its okay to assault other people who are not only physically weaker than yourself but who also can not even take legal action and does not have the capability to defend themselves or even flee their assailant (which is what spanking your child is) to get your point across.

Little children cant process logic as adults but they do know "nice" from "not nice" and there are plenty of other options to raise your child than physical assault. You people should try and consider telling the child when it does good instead of abusing it when it screws over - especially because - especially very young - children can not link the beating you give it 30 minutes after it did something to the actual act. What it can link is immediate feedback to behaviour, such as praise when its doing right.

 

[Nigh Invulnerable]

As a parent on the board here, I can say the most I've ever done with my 2 year old is a swat on the hand when he kept reaching for the burner on the stove or trying to open a trash can. Nothing with any force, but a quick little surprise tap on the hand and now Mal leaves that stuff alone. Spanking, on the other hand, feels a bit extreme to me. Maybe an extreme circumstance might warrant it one day, but I hope not.

 

[Naal]

My husband and I will be doing the same thing my parents did to my sister and I:

If we were really bad we got a small smack on the butt. Thinking back it wasn't that hard, and didn't hurt. Mom never used anything but her hand and my 6'2" bodybuilding dad never laid a hand on his two girls, mostly because he was scared of what his own strength could do. We also had our mouth washed out with soap if we said bad words we knew were bad.

Did it traumatize us? Heck no. For the most part we got time outs and sitting down to be talked to. We were good kids, but in those times they had to snap us back to reality they used butt spanking.

Now my aunt and uncle, on the other hand, used unreasonable force when they punished my cousins. They would use wooden spoons or belts and not show restraint when spanking them. They also cussed them out constantly when frustrated and once my uncle smacked my then three year old cousin, ending up with his head in the wall.

All in all there is a huge difference between a small butt paddle and winding up for the pitch.

 

[Alordo]

Haven't you heard? Parents don't need to do anything anymore, society raises their kids for them. Why do you think we see some many well behaved children no... oh wait. Yeah I'd say that study is full of it unless it's titled how to turn your kids into spoilt brats.

This. Sooooo very much this. I got my share of spankings as a child. And I deserved all of them. When I got older, those stopped and the groundings, taking away privileges, and other forms of punishment took over. I believe I've turned out quite fine. No arrest record, no serious bad habits, i.e. drug use, alcohol use, smoking, etc. Why? Because I don't want to disappoint the people who care about me. Fear? No, I'm not afraid of my parents. Don't hate them either. They did what was necessary to make me a well-behaved member of society. Prepared me well for my military service and every job I've ever had.

Today, kids will whine and beg until the parent gives back whatever privilege or device was taken away in punishment. The way I see them turn a blind eye to what their children do now, it makes me ill. Spanking a child is NOT beating them. There is an extreme difference between the two.

Are there times when talking to a child and not hitting them is better? Absolutely. In the same vein, talking doesn't always work and what are you left with? I'm sorry but time-outs and look at the well-behaved children does not always work. So I say again, what other option do you have?

 

[THE_NAMSU]

It seems spanking is actually common! I have never been spanked, merely slapped 1-2 times and slapped by a slipper I think (though I am not sure of that). I think that completely reducing the punishment to mere time outs and what not is too easy and will not discipline the kids. At my school, people used to not care about detentions and just screw about in lessons all the time, happily taking detentions (though I don't think teachers should be allowed to spank kids, only parents, and that as a sort of last resort otherwise it is a bit too hard on the kid)
Related to the topic of beating your kids....

Spoiler: They deserve more than a spanking!!

 

[asinann]

Some children, especially those under 5 don't respond to time outs: they don't have the capacity to understand what they did wrong and why it was wrong. They haven't had the socialization to do so. I generally only had to sound disappointed in my daughter to get her to behave, but I have been around children that needed the occasional pop on the arse.

If it's got to the point where a kid NEEDS to be hit, isn't that indicative of a previous failure?

When a child doesn't understand words, taking things away and time outs it's not about failures, it's because the child is most likely too young or they are not physiologically developed enough to understand those things. I have found that children (among the limited group of them that are being and have been raised by myself and my friends) that were not at least spanked a time or two when they were small tend to be more selfish and more defiant than children who were.

 

[itsthesheppy]

If you're down to the point where shaming your child and striking them is your only recourse, you're just not very good at being a parent. Here is a human being who trusts you implicitly and is physically incapable of defending themselves, and you hit them?

This is why there should be rigorous competency tests for parenthood. Worldwide.

 

[Sneezeburger]

Big nono IMO. Even for children there are better ways of getting your points across. Shout. Take away there toys. Whatever. You don't have to hit them.

 

[GistoftheFist]

The very last article in this list is what people are trying to avoid: http://www.cracked.com/article_19721_the-5-creepiest-progressive-parenting-fads_p2.html

Crazy zealots who mistake beatings for parenting.