Porn and unrealistic expectations for men and women, and hentai

[KingsGambit_v1legacy]

Asexuality is a real thing and is perfectly healthy.

it's undoubtedly a real thing, but it is not healthy by any stretch. A healthy adult has a sex drive. If one is asexual, they either have a health issue (physiological or psychological), our are lying.

Oh, you decided to turn into a dick of your own volition. Never mind.

I beg your pardon? Have I said anything rude to you or anyone? Where does your attitude and name calling come from? Have you heard the saying "attack the argument, not the person"? I don't think I've encountered anyone so rude on this forum before.

You called asexuality unhealthy and accused someone claiming it to be lying.
That's why I called you a dick. Because that was a very dickish statement.

Yes I said someone with asexuality is either unhealthy, or a liar. How is that offensive? It is a statement with no judgement inferred. If you implied something offensive in my statement then that is entirely you. Healthy adults have sex drives; ergo someone without one is unhealthy. Or they have one and are lying about it. If you don't agree, you would be wrong but you are welcome to debate the point. However, the forum rules do not allow name calling and frankly, it's the retreat of those unable to actually argue a point. Disagree all you like but you don't have to be so rude. I said nothing offensive.

 

[Dizchu]

Yes I said someone with asexuality is either unhealthy, or a liar. How is that offensive? It is a statement with no judgement inferred.

I dunno man, I am pretty sure you are judging how healthy or trustworthy a person is when they identify as asexual.

Do you have evidence that healthy asexuals don't exist? Are you aware that asexuality doesn't necessarily mean a lack of a sex drive, it could also simply mean a lack of interest in sexual activities involving others. There are also people with very low or nonexistent sex drives that have sex (maybe it's because they love their partners enough to do it?)

You are indeed making assumptions and judgements about people. I wouldn't go as far as to directly retaliate with an insult, but it's not very nice behaviour. I Googled the word "health" and the definition was: "the state of being free from illness or injury". To determine that asexuality is unhealthy, you must first provide evidence that a lack of sex is harmful. What illnesses or injuries does a lack of sex result in?

 

[KingsGambit_v1legacy]

I dunno man, I am pretty sure you are judging how healthy or trustworthy a person is when they identify as asexual.

First point, where does "trustworthy" come from? I have no idea what that means in this context. Second, "when they identify as..."...there is no such thing as "identifying" as an asexual. One either is asexual, or one is not. It is not a club one joins, it is a condition where the person lacks a sex drive. If you are pretty sure I'm judging anybody, you would be mistaken. I am making no judgement. I am simply saying that an adult that is asexual is not healthy since a healthy human is not asexual. There will be a cause for someone's lack of sex drive, be it physiological (hormone imbalance, stunted development), neurological (brain/nerves wiring) or psychological (childhood trauma/experience, other experience) or possibly even genetic (tho it would present as one of the former three). A healthy, post-puberty human/mammal, will have a sex drive. Anyone without a physiological, neurological or psychological issue causing them to lack a libido but claiming to be asexual, is a liar.

Do you have evidence that healthy asexuals don't exist?

This question has double meaning, or you are misinterpreting me. A person can be asexual and be perfectly healthy in all other regards. But lacking a sex drive itself indicates that there is something wrong with them that is causing it. Again, because as I said healthy adults have sex drives.

Are you aware that asexuality doesn't necessarily mean a lack of a sex drive, it could also simply mean a lack of interest in sexual activities involving others.

If someone has a sex drive but is not interested in other people then I would argue that they aren't truly asexual. Further, if that is the case I would also suggest that they are even more unhealthy (psychologically) than someone without a sex drive at all. Anyway, I'm not interested in debating the nuance of a word; for the purpose of discussion, by "asexual" I am specifically talking about a person without any libido.

There are also people with very low or nonexistent sex drives that have sex (maybe it's because they love their partners enough to do it?)

Maybe it is. I'm not sure what the point of this is. It's irrelevant.

You are indeed making assumptions and judgements about people.

No I am not, I didn't infer anything. I am stating that a human being without a sex drive is unhealthy since completely healthy humans have them. I would further state that someone with diabetes is unhealthy, as is someone morbidly obese, someone with Down's Syndrome, etc. I make no judgements on them. You can read anything you want into what I wrote and it won't change that. I think you "want" to be offended at what I wrote despite that I have said nothing offensive.

To determine that asexuality is unhealthy, you must first provide evidence that a lack of sex is harmful. What illnesses or injuries does a lack of sex result in?

Asexuality has nothing to do with a lack of sex. It is a lack of sex drive. That is a very significant distinction. Lack of sex causes no illnesses or injuries. But as I said above, on the basis that someone is genuinely asexual, then there is a reason for it, an issue with their body, their brain or their mind.

 

[Dizchu]

First point, where does "trustworthy" come from? I have no idea what that means in this context.

You accused asexuals that aren't "unhealthy" of lying. Therefore, untrustworthy in this instance.

Second, "when they identify as..."...there is no such thing as "identifying" as an asexual. One either is asexual, or one is not. It is not a club one joins, it is a condition where the person lacks a sex drive.

Sure there is. People identify as gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual etc. and similarly, people identify as asexual. People identify as all sorts of things, all it means is that they use those words to describe themselves. It's not a "club", it's a label.

A healthy, post-puberty human/mammal, will have a sex drive. Anyone without a physiological, neurological or psychological issue causing them to lack a libido but claiming to be asexual, is a liar.

Yes, the average human has a sex drive. But the thing is, people are different. People have vastly different sex drives. Even if their hormonal or neurological variables are different to most peoples', you can't say that is "unhealthy" unless it actually causes them harm.

This question has double meaning, or you are misinterpreting me. A person can be asexual and be perfectly healthy in all other regards. But lacking a sex drive itself indicates that there is something wrong with them that is causing it. Again, because as I said healthy adults have sex drives.

My question is: how is lacking a sex drive "unhealthy"? I have yet to see an argument for this assertion. It might be uncommon, it might not be evolutionarily beneficial, but in a world where there are over 7 billion people, how does not having a sex drive harm that individual?

Anyway, I'm not interested in debating the nuance of a word; for the purpose of discussion, by "asexual" I am specifically talking about a person without any libido.

You are not interested in what the word means, but you wish to make blanket statements about those the word applies to?

The first line of the Wikipedia entry says: "Asexuality (or nonsexuality)[1][2][3] is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in sexual activity. [4][5][6]". There are citations for this, as you can see.

If you were solely talking about those with zero sex drive, why didn't you say so? But even if you were talking about them exclusively, there is still no evidence that it is unhealthy.

There are also people with very low or nonexistent sex drives that have sex (maybe it's because they love their partners enough to do it?)

Maybe it is. I'm not sure what the point of this is. It's irrelevant.

It's relevant because I want to know whether it's the lack of sex or the lack of a sex drive that qualifies someone as "unhealthy".

I am stating that a human being without a sex drive is unhealthy since completely healthy humans have them. I would further state that someone with diabetes is unhealthy, as is someone morbidly obese, someone with Down's Syndrome, etc. I make no judgements on them.

You cannot equate asexuality with diabetes and obesity because there are very clear health risks that are tied to them. There are no such health risks associated with asexuality. You are making a judgement because you are insisting that something is wrong with asexual people when there is zero evidence that this is so.

You can read anything you want into what I wrote and it won't change that. I think you "want" to be offended at what I wrote despite that I have said nothing offensive.

I'm not offended I am just very curious about how you came to your conclusions, especially without any evidence. If I had some evidence I wouldn't be as critical of your arguments.

Lack of sex causes no illnesses or injuries.

So one can be asexual and perfectly healthy, right?

But as I said above, on the basis that someone is genuinely asexual, then there is a reason for it, an issue with their body, their brain or their mind.

There's no scientific evidence that this is the case, or at least if there were, you haven't presented any. I think this all comes down to something you will refuse to admit... your own judgement. You are the one that's insisting that there's something "wrong" with them. There is no evidence that being asexual poses greater risks to the individual, therefore it is an entirely subjective opinion that there is something wrong with them.

 

[Paragon Fury]

You could always summon Bigby's Grasping Hand to finish the job. Eh? Eh? Know what I mean? Eh?

Been there, done that.

I was attempting Bigby's Come Hither Beckon when I accidentally cast Bigby's Expressive Digit. There was many a grasping hand in the wake of that

How...did you manage to mess those two up? Go from "Come Here" to flipping someone the bird?

 

[The Almighty Aardvark]

You could always summon Bigby's Grasping Hand to finish the job. Eh? Eh? Know what I mean? Eh?

Been there, done that.

I was attempting Bigby's Come Hither Beckon when I accidentally cast Bigby's Expressive Digit. There was many a grasping hand in the wake of that

How...did you manage to mess those two up? Go from "Come Here" to flipping someone the bird?

I got them from a supplementary source book where they were after each other alphabetically. I must have written the wrong one into my spellbook and not realized. The two pages of arcane script you need to write are almost identical for both

At least it didn't end with a lawsuit like when I mixed up Symbol of Sleep with Symbol of Death. For the longest time I thought that one had worked properly...

 

[Strazdas]

I think the reason why Hentai will create less false expectation than regular porn is because people can differentiate reality from fiction and hentai is very clearly fiction while porn might look real considering there are no special effects. after all as you said it is real people doing real things.

Of course unless your into TimeStop or similar genres. But i doubt most people expect their girlfriends/boyfriends to freeze on command.

If anything it should lower expectations. Porn actors are always so gross.

This. i never understood why half the people i pass by on street every day look sexier than port actors. shouldnt they be hired for their sexy looks as one of characteristics? Perhaps its the stigma associated with porn acting that makes the actual good looking people to not try it?

Asexuality is a real thing and is perfectly healthy.

it's undoubtedly a real thing, but it is not healthy by any stretch. A healthy adult has a sex drive. If one is asexual, they either have a health issue (physiological or psychological), our are lying.

How about those people that have a sex drive but can only satisfy it through porn? would you rather they try to satisfy it through rape?

 

[San Martin]

I don't think I've encountered anyone so rude on this forum before.

You were here for Zeel surely?

Baffle, your avatar's ugly and your name's silly. Now it is I who am the rudest forum member!

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

I would hope people are smarter than that?

 

[Loonyyy]

Attraction to children is the prelude to abuse

Just like heterosexuality is prelude to rape?

That's a thoroughly silly comparison. You can have sex with someone of the opposite sex (Or same sex for that matter, not sure why hetero was used here), without it being rape, or abusive. The same cannot be said of sex with children. Even if you don't believe that there is any progression, or connection, between attraction to children and sexual abuse of children, the comparison to heterosexuality doesn't hold.

It does hold. What does a guy do when he gets rejected by a woman for example? Does he rape her? Of course not. That would be immoral.
Now why would a guy, who is attracted to children, do any differently?

Because women (And men, as I've said, gender isn't really important here), adults can consent to sexual activity. Children cannot. There is no way for that person to fulfill their desire for sexual intercourse with another person without abusing them. If a woman says no to a straight man, he can go ask another woman. That option does not exist for attraction to children.

And there are some people who go to great lengths to resist their impulses of that nature, and they're to be commended. Not everyone does, there's a significant amount of people who don't. And the behaviour involved often escalates (What Psychology Today, a far better source than another "Let's not get paedophilia and child molestation mixed up" apologist on the internet, is indicating). And material encouraging this behaviour is proliferated to a shocking extent. It's an attraction which is profoundly unhealthy for all involved: even if they don't go through with any actions, there's a significant psychological effect that should be considered. There's good reason to treat these individuals, both for them and those around them.

The impulse to compare attraction to children to sexual orientation is also not a useful comparison. It isn't, and there is actual treatment and ways of dealing with it. So stop playing pretend psychologist with some entirely arbitrary argumentative bullshit, and actually learn a thing or two about what the hell you're talking about first. Hell, there's even a great source down the bottom of that one for starting.

 

[SquallTheBlade]

Attraction to children is the prelude to abuse

Just like heterosexuality is prelude to rape?

That's a thoroughly silly comparison. You can have sex with someone of the opposite sex (Or same sex for that matter, not sure why hetero was used here), without it being rape, or abusive. The same cannot be said of sex with children. Even if you don't believe that there is any progression, or connection, between attraction to children and sexual abuse of children, the comparison to heterosexuality doesn't hold.

It does hold. What does a guy do when he gets rejected by a woman for example? Does he rape her? Of course not. That would be immoral.
Now why would a guy, who is attracted to children, do any differently?

Because women (And men, as I've said, gender isn't really important here), adults can consent to sexual activity. Children cannot. There is no way for that person to fulfill their desire for sexual intercourse with another person without abusing them. If a woman says no to a straight man, he can go ask another woman. That option does not exist for attraction to children.

So you are saying that if a person gets rejected enough times they will just rape a person? That's just absurd. I don't believe that at all. Hell, we even have a example of a person right here on this thread. I'll quote him here.

Im 26 years old, hetero and still a virgin and I have never and would never force myself on a woman. If nobody wants me, (even after my efforts to make myself a better person), and I never bother with a hooker, ill just die never having had sex, Ill never commit rape because I know its evil. So whats to stop somebody who is a pedophile from just doing the same, just have a wank and go about their day and do nothing to children because they know its evil? Theres probably more of them like that in hiding than not.

Having no sex is not a problem. Even if you don't have any ever you can still resist the urge to rape someone(or you don't have that urge at all).

There's good reason to treat these individuals, both for them and those around them.

I agree but only if the person thinks that the attraction starts to be a problem. If it isn't a problem then why do anything to it?

The impulse to compare attraction to children to sexual orientation is also not a useful comparison. It isn't, and there is actual treatment and ways of dealing with it. So stop playing pretend psychologist with some entirely arbitrary argumentative bullshit, and actually learn a thing or two about what the hell you're talking about first. Hell, there's even a great source down the bottom of that one for starting.

Woah, you seem angry.

I don't really care what you call it but attraction alone isn't a problem because it does not harm anyone.