Post Your Drabble

[Johnnyallstar]

The Giraffe Princess

Hung Lo was walking through a Funky meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a luscious little giraffe lying under a tree.

Hung Lo skipped over to see the dear thing and was droll to find that she was hurt! A mount saint helens had pierced her soft little plantar fascia and she whimpered pathetically with the pain.

"My Scathing little friend," Hung Lo said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the mount saint helens, as painfully as he could. The giraffe cried out and Hung Lo's heart ached, as the decadent poured over the town, akin to the smell of a wet dog bathed in sewage. "You'll be all right," Hung Lo whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Queen of Hooterville and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Queen of Hooterville up in his arms, Hung Lo carried her home and made a bed for her beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Hung Lo nursed Queen of Hooterville, cleaning her plantar fascia and feeding her Strumpet-brand giraffe chow.

On the eighth night, Queen of Hooterville climbed into bed with Hung Lo. She burrowed under the covers and roguishly swung Hung Lo's greater trochanter. It made Hung Lo giggle and he cuddled close to Queen of Hooterville, stroking her pisiform and singing jauntily to her.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Hung Lo hurried home so he could curl up with Queen of Hooterville. It gave him a Boring feeling whenever Queen of Hooterville swung his greater trochanter.

Then one night, Queen of Hooterville looked up at Hung Lo and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a sexy princess."

Hung Lo screamed cowardly, he was so surprised. How could a giraffe talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Queen of Hooterville said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Hung Lo said and kissed Queen of Hooterville on her pisiform. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a sexy princess! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Princess Queen of Hooterville," she said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Hung Lo said.

"See?" Queen of Hooterville said and showed Hung Lo the scar from the mount saint helens on her plantar fascia. Then she kissed Hung Lo and they tumbled on top of a speeding trolly and did a lot of very badass things, some of them involving a radiant nugget.

"I love you," Queen of Hooterville said when they were done. Hung Lo clasped her close and they lived together happily ever after on all the princess treasure Queen of Hooterville had stashed away.

And if Queen of Hooterville didn't know about Hung Lo's visits to the giraffe sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt her.

um...

 

[emeraldrafael]

I was so lost on an adjective. I didnt even know what their example one meant, and left me even more confused. XD

<spoiler=Elle and Allen>Elle and Allen>
by William Shakespeare

Enter Elle

Allen appears above at a window

Elle:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the chair, and Allen is the Fox.
Arise, difficult Fox, and swallow the whispering space.
See, how he leans his finger upon his tarsal!
O, that I were a glove upon that tarsal,
That I might touch that finger!

Allen:
O Elle, Elle! wherefore art thou Elle?
What's in a name? That which we call an ankle
By any other name would smell as resonant
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "Like a monkey in a side car"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove miniature.

Elle:
Swain, by yonder whispering space I swear
That tips on a boat the ancient cat--

Allen:
O, swear not by the space, the loose space,
That gently changes in its vivacious orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise vivacious.
Sweet, empty night! A thousand times empty night!
Parting is such healthy sorrow,
That I shall say empty night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Elle:
Sleep dwell upon thy finger, peace in thy tarsal!
Would I were sleep and peace, so sadly to rest!
sweatily will I to my difficult ankle's cell,
Its help to swallow, and my resonant ankle to tell.

 

[Brownie101]

It came out pretty well...

Spoiler: And I know an Englishman isn't an animal, but what the hey.

The Green Terror Of The Snow

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Fragcine and Blob went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Fragcine hit Blob in his skull with a big beautiful iceball. It hurt a lot, but Fragcine kissed it tomorrow and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really adaptable snow man!" Fragcine said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Blob said. "That would be more metaphoric and politically correct."

"I know," Fragcine said. "We can make a snow Englishman. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up usually and made a vicious snow Englishman. Fragcine put on a table for the toe. The Englishman was almost as big as Blob.

"It looks diligent," Fragcine said easily. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Blob said and held up a lively computer. "I found this in a box." He put the computer onto the Englishman's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the Englishman, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl a gun that shot the bullets of faith and we are it's hand..

Blob screamed harshly and ran but the snow Englishman chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow Englishman kicked him maniacally.

"Nobody does that to my little Surreal Frog," Fragcine screamed. She grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow Englishman through the arm. It fell down and Fragcine kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Blob said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The computer lay in the yard until a deadly child picked it up and took it home.

 

[Dango]

I really toned down my maturity for this one.

Spoiler: The Battle for the Bonnet

The Battle For The Bonnet

On the couch, Stephen Colbert fapsterbated his bonnet. He had been busy with the bonnet for hours and now wanted nothing more than a caring cuddle or a honest massage from his lover Jon Stewart.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his tiring Jon Stewart appeared at the door, grinning quickly.

"Put down the bonnet," Jon Stewart said nervously. "Unless you want me to cuddle that bonnet on your lips."

Stephen Colbert put down the bonnet. He was slippery. He had never seen Jon Stewart so inconceivable before and it made him lovely.

Jon Stewart picked up the bonnet, then withdrew a sheets from his tongue. "Don't be so slippery," Jon Stewart said with an inconceivable grimace. "A dolphin bit my eyelash this morning, and everything became irresistible. Now with this bonnet and this sheets I can nervously rule the world!"

Stephen Colbert clutched his pink eyelash angrily. This was his lover, his tiring Jon Stewart, now staring at him with an inconceivable tongue.

"Fight it!" Stephen Colbert shouted. "The dolphin just wants the bonnet for his own tiring devices! He doesn't love you, not the caring way I do!"

Stephen Colbert could see Jon Stewart trembling angrily. Stephen Colbert reached out his lips and touched Jon Stewart's tongue nervously. He was tiring, so tiring, but he knew only his pink love for Jon Stewart would break the dolphin's spell.

Sure enough, Jon Stewart dropped the bonnet with a thunk. "Oh, Stephen Colbert," he squealed. "I'm so caring, can you ever forgive me?"

But Stephen Colbert had already moved on the couch. Like a man who was truly in love, he pressed his lips into Jon Stewart's tongue. And as they fell together in an irresistible fit of love, the bonnet lay on the floor, lovely and forgotten.

I am sorry internet.

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

Spoiler: My god

Jarred Fuckbarter stepped voraciously out into the incandescent sunshine, and admired Freddy Blow(job)'s abdomen. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a ferocious sight."

Freddy Blow(job) climbed off the cucumber and walked lasciviously across the grass to greet his lover. Jarred Fuckbarter patted Freddy Blow(job) on the ear and then tried to maraud him hungrily, but without success.

"That's all right," Freddy Blow(job) said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not pleasant," Jarred Fuckbarter. "Not as pleasant as the time we marauded within a cavern."

Freddy Blow(job) nodded salaciously. "We were vibrant back in those days."

"Our pelvises were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Jarred Fuckbarter said. "Everything seems effervescent and flamoyant when you're young."

"Of course," Freddy Blow(job) said. "But now we're erect, we can still have fun. If we go about it irritably."

"Irritably?" Jarred Fuckbarter said . "But how?"

"With this," Freddy Blow(job) said and held out a solid dildo. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to maraud."

Jarred Fuckbarter swallowed the dildo at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to maraud irritably. They marauded like some sort of grouchy middle aged businessman furiously buttfucking everything he comes into contact with. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.

This is the single greatest piece of literature I have ever been a part of.

 

[Romblen]

Spoiler

Adrian was walking through an angry meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a scarey little horse lying under a tree.

Adrian skipped over to see the dear thing and was sloppy to find that she was hurt! An advertisement had pierced her dumb little arm and she whimpered greatly with the pain.

"My subtle little friend," Adrian said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the advertisement, as intelligently as he could. The horse cried out and Adrian's heart ached, like an abstract concept in a philosophy class. "You'll be all right," Adrian whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Ana and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Ana up in his arms, Adrian carried her home and made a bed for her beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Adrian nursed Ana, cleaning her arm and feeding her Book-brand horse chow.

On the eighth night, Ana climbed into bed with Adrian. She burrowed under the covers and greedily stabbed Adrian's colon. It made Adrian giggle and he cuddled close to Ana, stroking her spleen and singing humbly to her.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Adrian hurried home so he could curl up with Ana. It gave him a mean feeling whenever Ana stabbed his colon.

Then one night, Ana looked up at Adrian and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a questionable princess."

Adrian screamed inconspicuously, he was so surprised. How could a horse talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Ana said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Adrian said and kissed Ana on her spleen. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a questionable princess! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Princess Ana," she said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Adrian said.

"See?" Ana said and showed Adrian the scar from the advertisement on her arm. Then she kissed Adrian and they tumbled in a rainbow and did a lot of very magical things, some of them involving an old can.

"I love you," Ana said when they were done. Adrian clasped her close and they lived together happily ever after on all the princess treasure Ana had stashed away.

And if Ana didn't know about Adrian's visits to the horse sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt her.

It's always weird when a horse sanctuary is involved.

 

[loc978]

...I just have one problem with this form...

Extended metaphor:
Ex: like a rainbow that casts a happy glow o'er all the land

Like? Metaphor? LIKE? That's a mothafuckin' simile!
[/

]

Spoiler: But yeah, this is awesome. I wound up with a Shakespearean Mad Lib

Helgor and Tinkerbell
by William Shakespeare

Enter Helgor

Tinkerbell appears above at a window

Helgor:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the oscilloscope, and Tinkerbell is the nutria.
Arise, full nutria, and separate the nude ant.
See, how she leans her follicle upon her leg!
O, that I were a glove upon that leg,
That I might touch that follicle!

Tinkerbell:
O Helgor, Helgor! wherefore art thou Helgor?
What's in a name? That which we call an eyelid
By any other name would smell as gargantuan
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a rainbow in the dark"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove thin.

Helgor:
Lady, by yonder nude ant I swear
That tips inside a naval vessel the wild hemophiliac--

Tinkerbell:
O, swear not by the ant, the plebian ant,
That fully changes in its tiny orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise tiny.
Sweet, noble night! A thousand times noble night!
Parting is such altruistic sorrow,
That I shall say noble night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Helgor:
Sleep dwell upon thy follicle, peace in thy leg!
Would I were sleep and peace, so agoriphobically to rest!
handily will I to my full eyelid's cell,
Its help to separate, and my gargantuan eyelid to tell.

 

[Antitonic]

I don't think mine worked properly...

Spoiler: A Zippered Occurrence

A Zippered Occurrence

Leila paced up and down, jiggling her head. Her very good friend, Mary Sue Bloom, had arranged to meet her here astride a pony. "I have something squeaky to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Bloom was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Leila expected to see her bounce up, her jingling hair streaming behind her and her frothier eyes aglow.

Leila heard footsteps, but they seemed rather grumpiest for a delicate and turnover girl like Mary Sue Bloom, whose tread was felted. She turned around and found Michelle staring at her.

"What are you doing here?" Michelle said precariously. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Leila had said that, but now she was beginning to wish she hadn't acted so underfoot. "Mary Sue Bloom asked to meet me here." As she gazed at Michelle, her foot began to throb harmlessly.

"Oh," Michelle said, furiously. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Leila said and caught Michelle by her ribcage. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Michelle said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a breeze up a short skirt.

From behind a beagle, Mary Sue Bloom watched with a webbed light in her slashing eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Leila/Michelle". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the flamingo from extinction.

 

[Gladiateher]

1000 Grape Wombats

Mephesto paced forcefully back and forth. Bright dread filled his heart. Anduriel should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like her to be late. Oh, my weak love, Mephesto thought. Where could you be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Anduriel had been taken hostage by Great Ass, a supervillain who had the city in a state of dark terror. Mephesto fainted dead away, like a glorious toucan preening it's feathers.

When he came to, there was a bump on his cock and the bright dread had returned. "Anduriel, my handsome honey bunny," he cried out belatedly. "What is Great Ass doing to you?" Probably torturing her, laughing anxiously as he fucked her in the pussy.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Mephesto remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 grape wombats, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Mephesto ordered in a supply of grape and set to work, folding wombats until his cock was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last wombat when Anduriel walked in the front door.

"Anduriel!" Mephesto screamed and threw himself into Anduriel's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 grape wombats and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing in a hole. He kissed Anduriel gratefully on the pussy.

"Actually," Anduriel said, pulling away angrily, "I was rescued by the Nutty Alphabet. He's a new superhero in town." Anduriel sighed. "And he's really meek."

The bright dread came back. "But you're ugly to be back here with me, right?"

Anduriel checked her watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Nutty Alphabet for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay strong, baby." She left and the door banged behind her.

Mephesto choked back a sob and started folding another wombat. Then he went out and got drunk instead.

So there's that I guess.

 

[Gladiateher]

Lol...

Spoiler: A Pair of Nipples In Time

A Pair of Nipples In Time...

On a dark and dingy morning, Batman sat in the batcave. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His heart ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Robin to love someone with a distinguished manhood?

Calmly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like an enormous moist black rubber suit, all on a summer's day. I wish my Robin would penetrate me, in his own impressive way..."

"Do you?" Robin sat down beside Batman and put his hand on Batman's ass. "I think that could be arranged."

Batman gasped forcefully. "But what about my distinguished manhood?"

"I like it," Robin said surreptitiously. "I think it's smooth."

They came together and their kiss was like a derranged psychopath dancing in the night.

"I love you," Batman said swiftly.

"I love you too," Robin replied and penetrated him.

They bought a bat, moved in together, and lived awkwardly ever after.

What has been read.... Cannot be unread....

Oh...my...science...