Post your impossible questions riddles jokes etc

[Mucinex-D]

Wouldn't the Genie just stop that wish, then ask you for your next one?

Depends on the Genie though.

My impossible question is, can we attain world peace?

No we can't. That wasn't very impossible lol.

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

A high five. What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

African or European? Sorry couldn't resist...

Why not? Tell me why we can't?

Because humans are assholes. A better question would be what makes you think we can?

 

[Syndarr]

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

(An oldie but a goodie. I nevar get tired of it, one way or the other.)

Lewis Carroll actually did come up with an answer to this, and it is: "Because they can both produce a few notes, though they are very flat, and they are never placed with the wrong end forward."

Two bodies have I,
Though both joined in one.
The stiller I stand,
The faster I run.

An hourglass.


OT: Albert is a fishmonger. He is 38 years old, 6 feet and 2 inches tall, and wears size 13 shoes. What does Albert weigh?

 

[Zyxx]

Albert is a fishmonger. He is 38 years old, 6 feet and 2 inches tall, and wears size 13 shoes. What does Albert weigh?

Fish.

OT: This is the most hilarious joke I know - it's not quite a riddle like the other jokes, but almost nobody gets it.
(I learned this from my cousin, original source is probably someone else.)

Two penguins are walking along the road together. Suddenly a giant doughnut comes rolling down the hill, passes the penguins and keeps rolling out of sight. The penguin on the left turns to the penguin on the right and says "Huh. It must be Tuesday."

 

[Imat]

Here's a riddle I found.
SNIP*

Have him break the gold each day for his pay.

That wasn't really the right answer. But, hell, I said to make him take it to the damn bank and get it cashed.

If its already segmented...

Also, unless he's greedy or really in need (In which case you can give him 1 piece the first day and the rest after 6 more days), you could just give him the entire bar when the 7 days are up...

 

[twaddle]

This is one I post every time I find a thread like this:

Four talented men sat down to play,
And played all night till break of day.
They played for cash and not for fun,
With separate score for every one.
When it came time to square accounts,
They all had made good fair amounts.
Not one has lost, but all have gained,
I challenge you, this to explain.

i know the answer. They are playing an MMORPG!! It's probably WOW because they each have their own stats and they may be grinding for money and experience.And grinding loses it fun about 15 mins in. Do i get a cookie for getitng this correct?

 

[Imat]

Albert is a fishmonger. He is 38 years old, 6 feet and 2 inches tall, and wears size 13 shoes. What does Albert weigh?

Fish.

OT: This is the most hilarious joke I know - it's not quite a riddle like the other jokes, but almost nobody gets it.
(I learned this from my cousin, original source is probably someone else.)

Two penguins are walking along the road together. Suddenly a giant doughnut comes rolling down the hill, passes the penguins and keeps rolling out of sight. The penguin on the left turns to the penguin on the right and says "Huh. It must be Tuesday."

Two penguins are in a shower. One says "Pass the soap." The other says "Pass the radio!"

 

[twaddle]

Two bodies have I,
Though both joined in one.
The stiller I stand,
The faster I run.

some sort of body of water...a lake connecting to an ocean through a river

 

[Formica Archonis]

Since we're into Knights and Knaves puzzles, here's a favorite I stole from TVTropes. Since it's easy to find the answer anyway, I'll just stick the answer in a spoiler tag.

"In a brainteaser by puzzle writer Dr. Crypton, the protagonist was visiting a one acre desert island, seeking his way to the island's only tourist attraction, a 100-foot tower. He comes to a crossroads, where four roads split off, and there are three natives there. The four possible tribes of natives: always tell the truth, always lie, can answer with truth or lies, or wait for someone else to say something and then say the same thing. And he can only ask them two questions."

Spoiler

"The answer is to ignore them completely, as a 100-foot tall tower on a one acre desert island is impossible to miss."

 

[KarumaK]

SNIP*
Like you? That's not very convincing. Are you a heartless warmonger or something equally dastardly?

Ever heard this: "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it." - Jack Handey

That would be me right there attacking.

 

[Formica Archonis]

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

(An oldie but a goodie. I nevar get tired of it, one way or the other.)

Lewis Carroll actually did come up with an answer to this, and it is: "Because they can both produce a few notes, though they are very flat, and they are never placed with the wrong end forward."

Not quite. People nevar let that joke get by without spellchecking it.

 

[KarumaK]

SNIP*
Like you? That's not very convincing. Are you a heartless warmonger or something equally dastardly?

Ever heard this: "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it." - Jack Handey

That would be me right there attacking.

Fair enough. That's an interesting way to look at it. It's like everyone's a herbivore and you're a carnivore.

Thank you, for the insight.

Incorrect, the problem is that there are many, many, carnivores out there. If I was the only one it wouldn't really be a big deal.

 

[Hat of Controversy]

If everything I do and say is right, and everything you do and say is wrong, and you tell me that I "am wrong", then what?

 

[KarumaK]

If everything I do and say is right, and everything you do and say is wrong, and you tell me that I "am wrong", then what?

Then the sentence is over, it's your turn to talk.